3rd World Products, Inc., Book 2

by Ed Howdershelt

  "Thanks, Ed, but I really think I've got everything I'll need with me."

  Seven was still an hour away and there was nothing on the program that caught my interest, so I used the house phone to call Anne.

  "Oh, yes," she said, "I remember you. I had you penciled in for seven, didn't I?"

  "Something like that. Did any emergencies come up at your end?"

  "Not even a little one. How about you?"

  "Nothing. If you don't want to take the chance that one will pop up in the next hour or so, you could leave early."

  "I'd like that, but I'm not just killing time here. I have to sign off on a few things before I can escape. Hope you're disappointed about that."

  "Just a minute," I said, riffling the program guide loudly by the phone. "Yeah, here it is: Rule number three: Feed her vanity at every opportunity. Oh, hell, yes, ma'am, I'm severely disappointed. Almost crushed, really."

  Anne laughed and told me to meet her at her office sometime before seven, so I wandered out of the con suite to check the flyer tables again on the way.

  I was thinking that the idea of suspending my briefcase above me seemed to have proven itself in practice and I was looking for a place of privacy so I could haul it down and pull some flyers out when I saw the picture-taking hotel guy watching me. He was standing by the elevators, partially concealed by a herd of faux-aliens and guests.

  I walked to the rear wall of a phone alcove and stood as if waiting to use one of the phones. The people using the phones barely noticed me, if at all, and when all backs were turned to me, I softly whispered, "Option three."

  Nobody in the alcove seemed aware of my sudden absence. One woman looked around, then turned back to her conversation. I walked quietly to the entranceway and looked for the hotel guy. He was still by the elevators, fixedly watching the alcove entrance. I walked toward him and right past him and took a position behind him, leaning on the wall next to the elevator call buttons because it had occurred to me that someone might try to reach through me to hit the buttons.

  For almost ten minutes he continued to watch the alcove, then he reached for his cell phone. He didn't dial a number; it was one of those phones with walkie-talkie capability. He tapped the 'send' button once and Anne's voice answered his call.

  I faintly heard her voice say, "Yes, Thompson?"

  "Ma'am, I'm by the elevators on two. Either he's been in the phone alcove for over ten minutes or he's slipped past me. Harris, can you see him in there?"

  Harris? It had never occurred to me that Anne might have put two guys on my tail. Damn! I moved to stand closer to Thompson and looked around to try to spot someone talking on a cell phone. No luck. He must have been around a corner or something.

  Harris said, "All I can see from here is the first two phones and he isn't using one of those. Just a sec."

  Someone moved across the open rotunda from us. He was wearing jeans and a teeshirt and carried a small backpack, just like so many others attending the con.

  He ambled among the convention guests until he neared a woman in a barbarian outfit who was walking toward the elevators. Falling in step with her, he said something that made her laugh and he laughed with her until he was past the phone alcove, then he stopped and waved to her as she proceeded without him. She waved back, still laughing at his comment.

  The guy turned in the alcove entranceway and headed back toward the con suite, then stopped by the ice machine and raised his cell phone again.

  Harris said, "He's not in there."

  Thompson's face became tense. "You're sure?"

  "Two people using phones. Nobody else in there. I'm sure. Stay there and I'll make a sweep around the floor."

  "Okay," said Thompson. "Ma'am, is he on one of the cameras?"

  "Maint one. Maint two. Ice. Phones one. Phones two. Stairs. No. Keep looking. The cameras don't cover everything. Check the con suite, too."

  When one of the elevators binged and opened, I scampered in, punched Anne's floor number, and stood in the back, straddling someone's luggage cart. Fortunately, about half the people had left the elevator before we arrived, so I was able to slip out while everybody was wondering why nobody seemed to want out on that floor.

  There were a few cameras here and there, but the one that I was looking for covered the hallway in front of Anne's office.

  "Stephie, is the camera above me on at the moment?"

  "Yes, Ed, but it's one of several linked to a central monitor. There's no way to tell if it is the one being used."

  "Where's the monitor?"

  "It is inside Anne's desk on the right-hand side."

  "Figures. Can you use the briefcase to view the hallway, then to project a field in front of that camera, Stephie? A view of an empty hallway?"

  "Yes, Ed. I'm doing that now."

  "Thank you, ma'am."

  Anne's office doors were locked, but not deadbolted. My knife blade slipped the tongue back and I eased the door open slightly. Nobody in the outer office. I pulled the door quietly shut behind me and approached the door to Anne's office.

  "...No, Thompson," she was saying, "Nobody just disappears, goddamn it. Look, he's supposed to be meeting me here half an hour from now. If you don't find him before then, you can pick him up again when we go to dinner."

  She must have been using the speakerphone. I heard Thompson question the necessity of following me around. Her office door was open perhaps halfway, so I slipped through and quietly walked to stand behind Anne at her desk.

  She picked up a photo from the top of the pile on her desk and looked at it for a moment, then dropped it back on the pile. It was one of Leslie and me; I was helping Leslie step up and into Stephanie.

  "Look, Thompson," said Anne, "You're being paid, so call it training or practice or whatever suits you. Just do it unless or until something more important comes up."

  He resignedly agreed and she punched the 'off' button, then rose and walked to her window. I followed and saw she was staring down at Stephanie.

  "Damn," she muttered, and abruptly turned to walk away from the window, nearly colliding with me.

  She strode past me and headed back to her desk, where she began shoving the pile of pictures into the top drawer. I eased back through the open door and quietly opened the outer doors to let myself out, then closed them.

  "option three off," I said. "Stephie, you can drop the camera field now."

  I knocked on the outer doors.

  The speaker by the door immediately asked, "Yes?"

  "Your dinner date has arrived," I said.

  Her answer was less than immediate. "Just be a minute. Be right there."

  Several moments later the door opened and Anne said, "You're early. I like that."

  She gave me an odd glance as she turned to lock the doors, but said nothing, then she led the way to the elevators.

  Thompson was waiting some distance away as we got off the elevator in the lobby, but I didn't see Harris until we walked out of the main hotel entrance. He was sitting on the stone bench outside, having a cigarette and chatting with someone as we passed him.

  At the restaurant, Anne and I ordered the same thing, steak with side dishes, and had some time to ourselves at our corner table while our food was being prepared. Anne ordered a wine and I decided to try the restaurant's sweetened iced tea.

  "Anne," I said, "Two of your people are following me everywhere, or at least trying to. Thompson and Harris. Why?"

  She was silent and still for some moments, staring at me.

  "How did you know..? And how do you know their names?"

  "Why are you having me watched?"

  She tried to make a joke of it. "They need the practice, obviously enough."

  I shook my head. "Not really. If you hadn't had Thompson, himself, take pictures today, I might not have noticed them paying any particular attention to me."

  She sighed. "It's nothing nefarious, Ed. I try to keep my people in shape for their jobs. It's just practice for them. T
hey're still trying to figure out how you got across the lobby yesterday, just before you picked up that Leslie woman."

  "I didn't pick her up in the traditional sense, Anne. Fact is, Leslie didn't have any trouble at all tracking me around the lobby. Maybe that's why Linda wanted to talk to her yesterday."

  Anne tipped her wine glass at me and said, "Linda. Diana. Leslie. Leslie came back here from your little trip all enthusiastic about something. Next thing I know, you're taking those three geriatric bunny girls for a ride. Am I the only woman at the con who hasn't had a ride in that thing?"

  "There are still one or two others, I think. You want a ride after dinner?"

  "I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever make me that offer."

  When I didn't say anything and simply stirred my tea for a while, she said, "Yes, I'd like a ride, too, if it isn't too much trouble."

  I looked up at her as I put my spoon down, then looked around the room.

  "No trouble at all. Where's the restroom in this place?"

  "Somewhere in the back, past the salad bar."

  "Thanks. See you in a few."

  I got up and headed back there. On the way, I said, "Stephie, call me in ten minutes and tell me that something's come up that requires my attention. I'll ask you if I have time to finish dinner and to take Anne for a quick ride around the city after dinner. You'll tell me that it will have to be a quick ride."

  "Okay, Ed. May I ask why?"

  "Sure, Steph. I'm not enjoying Anne's company this evening, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I need to be called away."

  I glanced back as I entered the restroom and saw Anne using her cell phone. Wouldn't it be funny if she was setting up the same thing with one of her people?

  "Steph, is Anne doing the same thing I just did?"

  "I'll check. Apparently she's hung up, Ed. Her phone's off now. No way to know."

  "Thanks, Stephie."

  Back at the table some minutes later, Anne's cell phone chimed. She thumbed the 'on' button and answered it. It was the same kind as Thompson's and I'd been able to overhear what had been said on his, but I didn't hear anything coming from Anne's.

  After a moment, she said, "Okay. Bye."

  "Something's come up?" I asked.

  She nodded. "I have to get back by nine. I don't know how long it will take."

  "Well, that's time enough for dinner and a flitter ride, anyway."

  My watch beeped.

  "I'm here," I said.

  Stephie told me that something had come up that required my attention. Deviating from the script, I told her that Anne had a similar problem and that we'd take a short ride after dinner.

  "Okay, Ed."

  Anne was looking at me over the rim of her glass. When she lowered it, she asked, "A similar problem, huh?"

  "Seems so."

  "You didn't ask her if the problem could wait, Ed."

  "It can. The world won't stop turning if I don't jump and run."

  After a pause, she said, "I see."

  The steaks arrived and we dined mostly in silence. We were already there, after all, and had ordered, and we'd already found ways out of the remainder of the evening. After dinner we walked back to Stephanie and took a leisurely cruise around the city.

  Under other circumstances, it might have been a rather romantic ride on a summer's night. Darkness was falling and the lights of Atlanta were coming on below us while the stars were coming out above us.

  When we landed, Anne gave me a quick kiss and a thank-you that sounded sincere, then hopped off Stephie and headed into the hotel. I fished a beer out of the cooler and opened it, then had Stephie put up an internet screen.

  I was finished with my email and checking some publishing newsgroups when my watch beeped.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I poked up a Rocket ebook newsgroup as I said, "I'm here."

  Leslie giggled and said, "These watches are so cool! Look up. I'm in the fourth floor window."

  I didn't look up from the messages.

  "I've seen windows before, ma'am. You'll never impress me that way. Where are you off to now? What's left to do or see tonight?"

  "The costume contest is about all there is left, and I just saw all of them when I went past where they're lining up to go in. Where's Anne? I thought you two had a date?"

  "We both picked the same trick to get out of it. No hard feelings that I'm aware of, just a preference to call it off on both sides."

  Leslie giggled again. "Did you check to see if your key card will still open your room? Then you'd know if there were no hard feelings."

  "Ha, ha, ma'am. I was about to turn it in and go back to Florida. Be ready to go at nine, okay?"

  "Waitaminnit! You're going all the way back to Florida tonight? Why?"

  "Why not? I can be there in about ten minutes, Leslie."

  "Oh. Right. Damn. I forgot. Want some company?"

  I thought, Huh? What's this?

  "What about your friends, Leslie? Won't they be expecting you?"

  "One of them is standing right here, looking at me like I'm nuts. I have no doubt at all that she'll tell the others something, but DeeDee and Cindy are only in the bathroom. I'll bring them down with me."

  "Are you?"

  "What? Nuts? Maybe. So what?"

  "Yeah. So what. Well, if you change your mind later, you can use the couch."

  There was a shriek and a giggle from the other end that was quickly muted, probably by Leslie's hand over the watch.

  "Ed, you just made Marcie's eyes bug out. She wants to know where you get off assuming that I'd want to sleep with you."

  "Yeah, well, tell her if I'm wrong. Tell me, too, so I'll know how to behave tonight, but do it down here. I'm ready to fly as soon as I turn in this key card."

  "Okay! I'll be right down!"

  Another giggle, presumably Marcie's. Hushed tones of excited conversation. I'd have to show her a bit more about operating these watches, I thought. Then came Marcie's giggle again and, "You're gonna do it?! You just met him yesterday!"

  "Yes, mother, I'm going, and I'm going to have a good time, and I'm probably gonna get a pretty good lay out of it, too."

  "Oh, Leslie! Gawd! We aren't going to see you again for years!"

  "Just one, if they don't renew my contract, and I may not like it up there, after all. Don't worry, Marcie. We'll all get together again someday."

  I could envision the hugs and the tears.

  "Stephie, tell Leslie to close her comm link completely, please."

  "Completely? A link is either open or it's closed, Ed."

  "Yes, and hers is still open, but I don't want her to know that I overheard that last bit. It would only embarrass her. Let her swear you to secrecy if she wants to."

  "Okay, Ed."

  I went into the hotel, turned the key card in at the desk, and wrote a quick thank-you note to Anne, then went back outside to wait for Leslie. She showed up with her three friends, all of whom seemed to be studying me more than Stephanie during the few minutes they were aboard.

  As we were rising into the night, Leslie said, "Every one of them is jealous as hell, Ed. They think my prince has finally come."

  I glanced at her and said, "You know better, I hope. I've never even impersonated a prince, Leslie. Hell, I played Oscar Madison for two months in a dinner theater in 1996 and got rave reviews for both character and costume, and I was just being me."

  She laughed and said, "Somehow, I can believe that. And I'm just being me, Ed. The me I've wanted to be since I first read 'Modesty Blaise' and saw 'Honey West' on TV, but I'm going one-up on them. I'm going into space."

  Leslie looked up and pointed. "Just look at those stars, Ed! Look at that moon!"

  I said, "Stephie, would you make her a telescope, please?"

  Leslie looked at me oddly, trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about. I pointed to her right and she squeaked in surprise as the field extended inward toward her in a narrow, elongated funnel shape.<
br />
  Stephie told her how to aim and tune it and Leslie's first target was the moon. As her excited outburst lapsed into quieter awe, I asked Stephie if she'd found any new music lately.

  "Ed, I know you aren't a fan of country music, but..."

  "Stephie, try it and we'll see. Who and what song?"

  "Leann Rimes, Ed. She compares well to Patsy Cline. The song is 'Blue'."

  "Most country songs are, Stephie, but go ahead. Drop a needle on it."

  "Drop a needle, Ed?"

  "It means 'play the record'."

  "I'm terribly sorry for my confusion, Ed. Would you be referring to the primitive old vinyl records? Like seventy-eights? They were a little before my time, you know. Actually, they were a lot before my time. I can hardly be expected to understand..."

  "What do you want me to do, lady? Stick a nickel in your ear? You gonna play it or not, kid? What are you afraid of? Will I need a beer to get in the mood for it?"

  Leslie looked around at my outburst and saw me grinning. That didn't lessen in the least her surprise when Stephie's voice changed dramatically.

  In an exemplary Barbara Eden voice, Stephie blurted, "Oh, yes, Master! At once, Master! Let me get you your beer first, Master!"

  The cooler lid folded back and a beer floated out toward me. I took it as the Jeannie voice asked Leslie, "And you, miLady? Would you like one, as well?"

  Leslie was momentarily stunned and simply nodded. Another beer floated toward me. I opened it and handed it to her.

  I said, "Stephie, you watch too many antique reruns. That was a great Jeannie, but if you ever do Lucille Ball, I'm going to ground you for a week, maybe longer. Never, ever do anything from 'I Love Lucy', okay?"

  "Okay. Are you ready to hear my pick now?"

  I tilted my seat back, took a hit of beer and gripped the bottle in both hands, gritted my teeth, and said, "Ready. Twang away, Sadie Mae."

  Leslie giggled.

  What filled the cabin surprised the hell out of me. Whothehellever Leann Rimes was, I didn't care if she was as fat as Mama Cass or as ugly as a wart hog and I didn't care if all she sang was country stuff.

  After a moment, I said, "Jesus. She's better than Patsy Cline's best. Play it again, Stephie."

  "You liked it, Ed? Really? You aren't just being nice?"