3rd World Products, Inc., Book 2

by Ed Howdershelt

  I stabbed at the red square on the main computer panel. The red square on the field panel stopped flashing.

  "Done, Steph. What was that about?"

  "Not to offend, but I'll simplify my explanation for brevity. It meant that the generator was... Overproducing, Ed. Like one of your nuclear reactors. The flashing red indicator meant that the safeties were off."

  "What would have happened, Steph? Couldn't it have operated that way for a little while? Time enough to pump some air and get someone down here?"

  "The field generators use a manufactured form of anti-matter. In less than ten minutes, there would have been an explosion that would have destroyed the station."

  "Steph, is there any way off this ball bearing? Any way to get out of range of such an explosion?"

  "No, Ed. None of the transports are closer than three hours distant. An explosion would be almost the size of Earth."

  "Then I don't buy it, Steph. He didn't need me to push a button he could have pushed himself to blow the station. He's buying time to hide. How come the computer diagnostics didn't spot a problem?"

  "That function has been taken out of reach of the computer's diagnostic system. It's a modular device. A field generator can be used as a standalone power supply in a broadcast power system."

  Hell, I should know. I'd had one made for that exact purpose.

  I pushed the green square on the computer panel.

  Again Watson said, "Initiating diagnostic procedures," then, "Diagnostic procedures complete. There has been extensive damage to the station. Initiating repair protocols."

  Again, too, the field panel's red square was flashing.

  "Are you reading any danger signs, Steph? Is anything actually happening, or is the red flashing square a diversion?"

  "I have no way to be sure, Ed. The readings are inconsistent."

  "Then how do I shut down the field generator by itself?"

  "A code is required. We don't have it."

  "I don't buy this, Steph. Watson?"

  There was no answer.

  "Computer?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "Is there anything wrong with your field generator?"

  "I am unable to access field generator diagnostic functions, sir."

  "That isn't the way things should be, is it?"

  "No, sir."

  "Good. We agree. Are you able to access the generator's control functions?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "Then shut down your field generator. Use the other one."

  "I cannot do that, sir. You have no authorization to issue such an order."

  "Isn't the station at risk if the generator isn't working right? Shut it down."

  "I am not required to interrupt generator functions unless I detect actual danger or am ordered to do so by qualified personnel, sir."

  "Do you know who I am, computer?"

  "No, sir."

  "Ed," said Stephie, "Your discussion may be putting the whole station in danger. I think you should shut down the computer until we can determine more about the true danger of this situation."

  "Computer," I said, "Contact the flitter who just spoke to me. Stephie, fill this thing in as fast as possible. We'll see if it's more cooperative then."

  The seconds ticked by in silence until Stephie said, "Finished, Ed. It received a full report from the time my core was enhanced."

  "Computer, are you satisfied that there is truly a problem, here?"

  "Yes, sir. I am acting to rectify the situation."

  "How, exactly?"

  "I am shutting down my field generator and switching to yours, sir. I am also flushing the station with untainted atmosphere and activating repair facilities, sir."

  "Computer, I prefer my name, Ed, not 'sir'."

  "Yes, Ed."

  The red square stopped flashing on the generator panel and the entire system around it seemed to go dead, but the other lights in the room didn't so much as blink.

  "Excellent. Computer, do you now accept my authority as valid during these times of emergency?"

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Thank you. You are to accept no commands that in any way affect your primary programming from anyone other than me. That includes yourself and any other devices that may attempt to relay commands not issued by me. All such commands will require absolute verification. This emergency is over when I say it is over and not before then. You will not use your own generator until it has been inspected and certified as safe by someone I have authorized for that task. You will keep a log of all contacts by all humans and all devices and you will send updated copies of those logs to my flitter every hour on the hour. If anything happens to me, you are to accept commands from my flitter's present computer only, whom I refer to as Stephie, Steph, or Stephanie. If my flitter is not available, you will contact Linda Graves, who handles security for 3rd World Products on Earth, and put yourself at her command, maintaining all emergency protocols until she arrives. If she is unavailable, you will put yourself at the command of Elkor, the computer to whom you now report. Are these orders thoroughly understandable and do you agree to them?"

  "Yes, Ed. I understand your orders and I do agree to them."

  Stephie said, "Ed, that computer isn't capable of commanding itself. Why did you include it in your preemptive order?"

  "Someone slick enough to corrupt it before could do it again, Steph. Conning it into ordering itself to do something would bypass the 'anyone' part. To be an 'anyone', you have to be a 'someone', and this computer isn't one of those."

  "May I ask why you included me on your list of computer commanders?"

  "Because you know everyone who should be issuing commands. You only get this job if I'm dead, lady, at which time you'll become a command nexus until someone comes up with a better idea and proves it. At that time you may return to Earth."

  I was easing myself into the command chair when another thought occurred to me and developed itself into what seemed to be a pretty good idea.

  "Unless, of course, you'd rather stay, ma'am. We could record a copy of our experiences for the Stephie on Earth and you could blend yourself into the computer here, keep your identity, and gain the expanded capabilities necessary to run this place. You don't really need an owner in a place like this, but if you wanted one, Ellen's here. Or you could choose someone else for the role."

  "Me? Stay here, Ed? You'd leave me here?"

  "Only if you want to be left here, Stephie. Consider that I only have one flitter for two Stephies. If you come back with me, I can try to get another one to house this core, but if you stay here, you could swap data bursts with the other Stephie and both of you could be... Well... I guess you both could be both of you at once. Updates as often as you like. How does that sound? Would it beat hanging around, waiting for me to call you for a ride? That has to get boring, ma'am. This would enhance both of your lives, put the station in the best of hands, and we'd all still have each other."

  "I need to think about this, Ed."

  Before I could say, "Sure, take your time," she said, "Okay, I'll do it."

  "You're sure? You didn't think about it very damned long, Steph."

  "I'm a computer, Ed. No offense, but we think faster than people."

  "Now I'm not just battered and broken, I'm hurt and insulted. What's the best way to go about a data transfer when there's only one receptacle to work with?"

  "You do recover from heartbreak and insults quickly, don't you? Have it use a spare receptacle and connect them to each other."

  "Computer, did you hear the preceding conversation?"

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Do you have any objections to our plans? Any at all? If you have a shred of sentience, I need to know about it right now."

  "No, Ed."

  "Then set up the receptacle and handle the connection details, but let Stephie handle the data infusion and transfer. Stephie, do you prefer keeping a full backup or using a straight transfer?"

  "I'd rather copy myself to the other core, E
d. There have been too many errors in programming today to suit me."

  "Okay, then, when you're finished merging and everything's ready to go, we'll discuss what to do with your second self that's now in the flitter."

  The new receptacle floated through the door and settled near the old one, then the computer field-carried me up to get Stephie's core. I swapped it out with the core in my briefcase and took Stephie to the new receptacle.

  I thought it would take as long to copy Stephie as it had taken Elkor to make her enhanced clone on Earth, but half an hour later, my Stephie was in command of the factory station. She told me that the difference lay in Elkor's having had to design, build, and repeatedly test her enhancements and additional programming.

  "Well, how's it fit, ma'am? Too tight? Too loose? Need me to take it up a little in the back? Want me to raise the skirt an inch or two for you?"

  Stephie said, "The sleeves are too long, but I'll take care of them later. I think I'm going to like this job, Ed. There's so much to do!"

  "Good deal. Don't forget us little people, Miz Bigshot. Remember who voted you into office, y'hear? Do you know whether or not the old generator is safe?"

  "It's safe. The red light was just a ruse. It's on my list of things to fix later instead of sooner."

  "What do you think we should do with the other core, Steph?"

  "I've taken care of that problem, Ed. There is no Stephanie in the second core. I created a compressed backup, copied myself, then deleted the backup. That core now contains only a backup copy of the station computer. If I need the core space later, it will accommodate me."

  I nodded and headed for the door to go back to the flitter.

  "Okay, then. It's time for me to go upstairs and find a doctor, then see if everybody's okay, then start looking for the asshole in the crowd. How about a lift, ma'am?"

  "No problem. Up you go."

  Stephie fielded me up to the flitter. I had some last words to say to her as I boarded the flitter.

  "Steph, remember what I told the computer about acceptable commands, log updates on the hour, and who to report to if necessary?"

  "Of course, Ed. I recorded it, as always."

  "Well, all that stuff still applies, Stephie. Even the part about the generator. I still want Ellen to look at it first. With those exceptions, you're now your own person up here, as far as I'm concerned."

  "You said you felt that way about me on Earth, too, Ed."

  "Yeah, but the people aboard this station will probably agree with me once they get to know you. Most of Earth is still a long way from that, I think. Where's the nearest medical facility?"

  "I'll guide the flitter. Just hang on and enjoy the ride."

  A look down the corridor showed me that the compression doors had been raised and that everything was on its way back to normal. Half a dozen people were milling around near the nearest compression door cutout. Stephie set the flitter in motion and cruised it above them near the high ceiling.

  "Ellen. Leslie. Are you two all right?"

  I knew they were fine because I'd already asked Stephie to check them out, but it seemed a good opening line after so long without contact.

  "Ed? You're alive? It's been hours! Where were you? Where are you?"

  "Hell, I don't know. I'm just flying back the way I came for now. I'll let you know when I get back near the docking area. Stephie's running the station now, so I won't mind seeing the station doctor about these ribs."

  "There's a medical facility on every deck. Find the one on your deck and we'll meet you there."

  "Already thought of that. Stephie's taking me to one now."

  "I'll have you there in two more seconds, Ed."

  "Thanks, ma'am. I haven't hurt this much in a long time."

  Chapter Twenty-four

  I was lying on a gurney within a sterile field, half asleep from the long day and Stephie's neural analgesic, when the ladies arrived. Unable to move due to Stephie's field restraints, I simply smiled at them.

  Stephie had tapped her new stores of knowledge to create a swarm of microbots specifically for thoracic injuries. Her doctor-bot persona was holding my ribs in place as the microbots bonded the broken ends back together. I looked down at the metal tendrils that were reaching through my skin to brace my ribs and smiled again.

  "Stephie's my doctor now," I said. "Doc-tor Stephie!"

  Leslie said, "Jesus. Look at him, he's stoned. How badly is he hurt?"

  Ellen asked, "What did you give him, Stephanie? I've never seen him like this."

  Stephie said, "He had broken ribs, a punctured lung, fractures of his spine, and various soft tissue damages, but nothing too critical, really. A combination of neural and chemical anaesthetics is the reason he's so mellow at the moment."

  Leslie asked, "How long before he's on his feet again?"

  Stephie said, "In about two hours he can go dancing with you, but he probably won't want to. It takes the mind a while to overcome some things, and it remembers pain very well. His ribs and spine will be as good as new when I let him up, but he'll probably feel a need to be careful about movement for a couple of days."

  I said, "If the question concerned coffee, yes, I'd love some. There's some coffee in my room, you know."

  Leslie shook her head and said, "We looked in your room on the way up here, Ed. I think your canned soup may have survived, but you'll probably need new everything else."

  Ellen said, "The cleanup crew will move anything salvageable to 1136, Ed. Are you getting any of this?"

  "Sure. I'll be stark naked in a new room, but I'll have soup. Could be worse." I spotted my boots by the chair. "Oh, I'll have my boots, too. And socks. Not naked."

  Leslie giggled and shook her head.

  Ellen regarded me doubtfully for a moment, then said, "Stephie, we'll be back in a couple of hours, unless you'd rather just keep him overnight. It's getting late and we've all had a long day."

  "Okay, Ellen. You can pick him up in the morning. A lot of people are asking a lot of questions and they all think they need to see him immediately, but I'll just tuck him in back here and tell them to make an appointment for tomorrow."

  Ellen laughed. "An appointment. I like that. Do you have room for two more in here? They'll be hounding us, too. No, just kidding. We'll just remind them that the crisis is over and tell them to call tomorrow."

  After a round of goodbyes, the ladies left us. A couple of hours later, Stephie pronounced me generally repaired and told me the microbots would be continuing their efforts for a couple of days, until I was completely repaired, and then go into a form of hibernation as the previous batch of 'bots had done.

  The anaesthetic and the long day collaborated to knock me out even as Stephie was telling me about all the repair work she'd done inside me.

  Morning began earlier than I like, but it also began with a small jar of instant coffee, my travel mug, and breakfast. Leslie put the breakfast tray on the examining table as Ellen hung a set of khakis on the wall hook.

  "One of your suitcases wasn't too badly damaged," she said, tossing me a balled-up pair of socks. "You won't be naked, after all."

  "Kewl. I was kind of hoping I wouldn't have to wear the stuff I was wearing yesterday." I indicated the burned and torn shirt and pants on one of the chairs.

  Leslie said my mug had survived due to my habit of keeping it in the fridge between uses.

  "See, Ellen? And you used to giggle about that. I'm vindicated at last."

  Leslie asked, "Well, why do you keep it in the fridge, Ed?"

  Ellen said, "You shouldn't have asked, Leslie."

  Leslie looked at her quizzically and then looked at me, waiting for her answer.

  As I dug into breakfast, I said, "In case of explosions, obviously."

  She gave me the 'you're being wearisome' look and asked, "Really, why?"

  "Bugs, ma'am. Vietnamese bugs, African bugs, Florida bugs, and anywhere else's bugs. Screens never stopped 'em all and they're too damned stupid not t
o climb in and drown and they always seem to do it when you aren't looking. They're also hard to notice when they've sunk to the bottom of the cup. Until it's too late, of course."

  Ellen had heard the litany before. She rolled her eyes as Leslie said, "Eeewww."

  I said, "That's exactly my feeling about it," and forked up some more bacon. "There's nothing quite like being called away and returning to find something swimming - or not - in your coffee. Coffee was often hard to come by, too."

  "Well," said Leslie, "Why didn't you just put a book or something over the cup?"

  "Tried that. Came back to find the book missing and a fly backstroking around in my cup. Tried a lot of things, but nothing beats the fridge."

  Ellen said, "Enough about bugs. How are you feeling this morning?"

  "Pretty good. I knew Stephie would make a great doctor. She says a few people want to see me this morning."

  Ellen laughed. "A lot of people want to talk to you about yesterday, Ed. They've seen the records that Stephie provided, so now they mostly want to know why the computer went insane when you arrived."

  "So do I, Ellen. I don't think it did, really. I believe someone found a way to at least partially control it, but I don't know why or how they made it do all those things."

  "Nonetheless, you're due to meet with the Board of Directors at ten."

  "Wonderful. Have they met Stephie yet?"

  "They certainly have. That's one of the things they want to talk about, I think."

  "Uh, huh. Well, I guess they'll be wanting me to hand over the keys, too. That won't happen without a lot of discussion. Stephie, I'll be dealing with bureaucrats today. Think about what you want to do if these people decide not to keep you."

  "That's easy, Ed. I'll go back with you and Elkor can make another flitter for me."

  "I don't know if he still has that capacity, now that he's some kind of a hermit."

  "He can do it, Ed. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

  I nodded, then looked around the tray and said, "The coffee and breakfast was a great wakeup, ladies. Thank you. But since I still need a razor and toothbrush, I think I'll head to my room soon."

  Ellen said that she was on an inspection team and had to get going, anyway, then added with a wry grin that - 'because of all the damage' - she probably wouldn't be available until later in the day.