Lost, Found, Loved

by London Casey

  I dropped the cigarette and stepped on it. “Sorry about the mess.”

  “It’s a mug and water,” Donna said. “Want to talk about what’s going on?”

  “Right now? No.”

  “Fair enough. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your day’s not to get any easier.”

  “Why’s that?” I asked.

  “Zayne is here, looking for you.”

  He stood there like a badass. Tall, wide, wearing a dark green shirt that hugged every inch of muscle. His dark hair was messy, probably from just rolling out of bed and not having to give a shit how he looked because a guy like Zayne looked hotter when he looked sloppier, in an odd way.

  I kept myself protected by staying behind the counter.

  “Coffee?” I asked him.

  He walked to the end of the counter where I was. “Can I buy you a coffee? Can you get a break?”

  “I just took one,” I said. “I’m having a rough day here.”

  “Sorry to hear that,” he said. “I was hoping we could talk.”

  About Miami? You’re going to tell me what’s up?

  “Okay. Should we meet up…”

  “Meet up?” he asked. “I want you to tell me what you’re thinking when it comes to Parker. It’s your turn now, right? That was the plan.”

  “The plan,” I said. “Yeah. I haven’t thought about it much. I mean, I guess we could just show up? I still have plenty of stuff there.”

  “Okay. Whatever you want. The only problem is we left the engagement ring at the wedding.”

  “Shit,” I said. “We did. I was going to grab it…”

  Zayne reached for my hand. “I don’t need that ring. It’s better left where it is. But if you think we should have one, I’ll go get another one.”

  “Another engagement ring?” I asked, swallowing.

  “Sure. We want to make this right, right?”

  “Make this right,” I whispered. “So, I’d wear a second engagement ring…and be a fake fiancée again.”

  Zayne raised an eyebrow. “Why, you don’t want it to be fake?”

  Miami! What the fuck are you planning? Lying sack of…

  “Bella,” Donna called out.

  “I have to go,” I said.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Zayne asked.

  “Weird day, Zayne.”

  “Okay. Well, let me know when you’re done here. We’ll figure something out. You tell me what you want to do, darlin’. I owe you for the wedding. So, anything you need or want, I’m yours.”

  I’m yours.

  I went to the register with a fake smile on my face.

  I was good at this fake-thing, right? Fake running away from my old life. Fake engagement with Zayne. Fake my way through this job and fake as a writer. Fake with another engagement, I guess. Fake as I smiled and took an order for coffee and two cookies. Fake as I said all the cookies were delicious when I had only indulged in chocolate chip.

  Fake.

  That’s what my life had become.

  I looked to my right and there was no sign of Zayne.

  He was gone. He had no idea what I knew.

  So…I was even being fake to Zayne. I was lying to him as he was lying to me.

  Hey, are you okay? he had asked me.

  I poured a cup of coffee and started to shake my head.

  “No,” I whispered, “I’m not okay at all.”

  31

  ZAYNE

  I shut the door to my room and cracked all my knuckles. I looked at the drawing—my drawing—of the wolf and the butterfly tacked to the wall. It was a copy of the sketch, and someone kept hanging it up in my room. That someone was Tate, and since it was his business and building, there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

  He insisted I get it tattooed on me.

  My mind was elsewhere.

  I sat down and cleaned everything up. I was picky about my room and where I tattooed people. It needed to look a certain way for me to do my job.

  Once the room was cleaned up, I returned a call Tilly left for me.

  He texted me that he had a plane ticket ready for me.

  As though I had made my final decision already.

  “There you are,” Tilly said. “I can only assume you calling me this late after I called you first means you’ve been packing your shit.”

  “Tilly,” I said. “I don’t have a thing packed.”

  “Leaving it all behind? I like that. Starting over-”

  “Tilly. You’re fucking crazy.”

  “Yes, I am. Your point?”

  “You bought a plane ticket.”

  “That I did.”

  “You know I haven’t decided anything.”

  “You want to be here. Something is holding you back, Z. You never get held back. So, what is it? If it’s money, name your price.”

  “It’s not… there’s a few pieces here I’m trying to finish up.”

  Great. Now I’m lying to Tilly.

  “Right,” he said. “You tell me when you’re ready.”

  “Listen, man, I appreciate this. I’m glad I’m in high demand.”

  “Hey now, I’m not going to spread my legs for you, Z.”

  I laughed. “Good to know. I don’t want you to waste your time if you’re looking for someone.”

  “Fuck no,” Tilly said. “I don’t look for people. I find someone and I get them. Normally I’d prefer a slit between your legs, but you know how to tattoo, so I’ll give you a pass. I just want you to know I’m serious. Anything you need to get over here, tell me.”

  “I appreciate it. I’m just trying to think this through.”

  “When do you ever think things through? You just up and go. The only time you ever thought…oh fuck, are you back with Steph again?”

  I laughed louder. “No. She’s married now. I’m nowhere near her.”

  “Good. She was a bitch. I mean, crazy hot and all, but a bitch.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Well I’m glad it’s not a woman tying you down. Sorry about the call and the text. I just wanted your attention.”

  “Yeah, you got my attention. Give me a little more time. I can’t just bail on Tate. He’s a good guy.”

  “Yeah, Tate is fucking awesome. You know what else is? I’m standing outside my shop and looking at a dozen women in bikinis that are not bikinis at all…”

  I sighed. “Goodbye, Tilly.”

  I ended the call and threw my phone to the desk.

  What the fuck was I supposed to do? I had no real ties to Miami. It was always just a fantasy for me. Somewhere forever warm, partying, living life, being somewhere completely new. The distance from everything I knew. The ultimate chance to start over. Shit, I knew if I went to Miami, I’d tear it up with Tilly. I’d clean up so much cash I wouldn’t need to worry about my own shop.

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  I didn’t want to say the wrong thing to Bella and make her think we were just having an extended fling. At least, that’s not what this was to me. I wasn’t sure what it was to her, either. I was kind of hoping to see what she wanted to do with Parker and then have a serious conversation about each other. And what everything meant to us. No matter what, I didn’t want to lose her. She meant too much to me…

  There was a knock on the door and it flew open with Tate standing there. He looked at the copy of the sketch on the wall and smiled.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Save it.”

  “I didn’t say a thing.”

  “Good.”

  “You done today?”

  “I’m done today.”

  “For good or just today?”

  “What?” I asked.

  Tate stepped into the room and shut the door. “It’s been a while, Z. I figure we’re at the point of ‘shit or get off the pot.’”

  “Is that so?”

  “All I’m saying is, if you decide anything different, don’t bail. Talk to me. Let me know how I can help. And if you do leave St. Skin, know that you’re sti
ll family here. Anytime you’re in town, stop by.”

  “Right. I appreciate that. I’m in a weird spot right now, Tate.”

  “Sure you are. You went to that wedding. With another woman. And I bet you’re crazy enough to fall for that other woman.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “I just know things,” Tate said. “She’s really settled in here, huh? Working at the cafe with Donna, typing on that new laptop. It’s like she fits right in.”

  “Well, that’s good for her,” I said as I stood up. “I guess she needed the change of scenery. It could do a person good.”

  “Just like Miami, I bet,” Tate said.

  I looked at him. “What do I say to that?”

  “You say Thanks, Tate. And anytime you’re in Miami, I’ll hook you up…”

  “Okay then. That. What you said.”

  Tate laughed. “Have a good one, Z.”

  “You too.”

  Tate was gone. I was alone. I looked at the sketch on the wall. The wolf and the butterfly. Me and Bella. Funny part was, I suddenly felt like the butterfly. I felt like I was changing. Like I was looking to take off and fly into the moonlight. And Bella was the wolf. Strong, fierce, standing on the edge of a cliff, not afraid of falling.

  I grabbed the sketch off the wall and let it fall to the floor.

  My phone beeped with a text message. From Bella.

  Hey. We’re leaving in an hour. Parker and Abby are at the apartment. Hope you’re ready for this.

  I grinned.

  I thought about Bella’s broken heart.

  I was ready.

  Oh, I was fucking ready.

  Starting then, I tried to convince myself of all the reasons I shouldn’t beat the hell out of Parker for what he did to Bella…and there wasn’t a single good reason why I shouldn’t.

  32

  ZAYNE

  I had her on the back of my motorcycle again. When I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, I revved the engine as loud as I could. I was a total asshole for doing so, but I figured a grand entrance was called for.

  Bella pointed to where to park, so I did.

  The funny part was we were there to pack up her shit and leave. But with a motorcycle, that wasn’t possible. So the plan was to make an entrance, grab some stuff, and then let Parker (and Abby) know that a truck would be coming for the rest of everything. I was there to be the intimidating muscle who was fucking Bella to get her over Parker. Which wasn’t far from the truth.

  I killed the engine on the motorcycle and reached into my pocket. I took out a diamond ring and held my hand out.

  “What is that?” Bella asked, stepping back like I had a poisonous spider in my hand.

  “Wasn’t sure whether you wanted to play this again or not.”

  “You bought a ring?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Is…is that a real diamond, Zayne?”

  “Yeah. I wanted it to be legit.”

  Bella looked at me. Then at the ring. Then at me again.

  “What are we…never mind. I think we’ll skip that for now, Zayne.”

  “Okay,” I said. I stuffed the ring into my pocket.

  Yeah, fine, I bought a diamond ring with the sole purpose of giving it to Bella. What did that imply? I had no fucking clue. If she put the ring on, did that make it a real proposal then? For actual marriage?

  Shit, I really hadn’t thought it through.

  And the look on her face proved that one.

  Bella walked forward and I grabbed her arm. “Hey, if I pissed you off…”

  “No,” she said. “Let’s do this.”

  “Okay.”

  I opened the door and held it for Bella. She looked flustered and nervous. I wasn’t worried. A guy like Parker was probably some punk-ass excuse for a man. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d done to Bella. How bad he’d hurt her. And the fact that he did it for so long and then tried to play it off as a one-time mistake to confuse her broken heart even more.

  By the time we got to the door, I was ready for a fight.

  Bella stuck a key in the lock and it worked.

  For some odd reason that bothered me. It hit me in the gut in a way I didn’t expect. Because it proved Bella had somewhere else to live. A different life she lived and could still live.

  Bella opened the door, and I followed.

  “Oh, hey, Bella,” a voice said.

  Then I saw him.

  Parker.

  This tall guy with a clean-cut face, perfect-looking hair, and clothes too fancy for just being in his own apartment. He froze when he saw me, his eyes growing a mile wide. I had height and size on him. And, yeah, I was sizing him up for a fight.

  “Parker,” Bella said. “This is Zayne.”

  “Right,” he said. “The moving guy?”

  I grinned. “Not quite, man.” I put my arm around Bella and pulled her tight. She put her head to my chest. “Any questions?”

  “Plenty,” Parker said.

  “I’m sure I have a few myself,” I said.

  Bella patted my chest. “We’re not here for that. I just wanted to pack up some stuff. Figure out what’s mine. We have a truck coming. Can’t take everything on a motorcycle.”

  “A motorcycle?” Parker asked.

  “Yeah,” Bella said.

  “That sounds dangerous.”

  “Nothing wrong with a little danger,” I said.

  I walked with Bella and stopped for a second to glance at Parker. His pretty-boy face was turning a little red with anger. His lip curled at me.

  “You’ve got nothing on me,” Parker whispered.

  “Except your woman…I’ve got her on me almost every night.”

  “Come on, Zayne,” Bella said.

  I looked back at Parker as I walked down the hallway. He then got a cocky grin on his face. The little shit was up to something.

  And we found out what that was a few seconds later.

  Bella opened the door, and there was a woman in the bedroom.

  Oh shit…

  Bella released her hold on my arm and my shirt.

  She stepped forward, shaking her head. “Seriously, Abby?”

  Abby turned and looked right at us.

  There were tears running down her cheeks.

  We didn’t get to touch a single thing in the bedroom. Instead, Bella stormed out to the main area of the apartment. I let her go, hoping she would attack Parker.

  “I hate you,” Bella said. “You knew I was coming, and you set this up.”

  “And you brought a boy-toy,” Parker said. “Trying to make me jealous?”

  “Call me a boy-toy again,” I said. “I’ll break you in half.”

  “Stop this!” another voice yelled.

  Abby came running down the hallway.

  This was definitely not what I’d come expecting.

  Parker leaned against a wall and folded his arms. He was so cocky it pissed me off.

  Bella stood there facing both he and Abby.

  Abby kept her distance from them both. She touched her eyes, wiping away tears. I wondered if they were just bullshit tears.

  I approached Bella, wanting to be at her side, but part of me wanted her to fight this battle alone. Show her strength to these two morons that hurt her.

  “Why are you crying?” Bella asked.

  “I’m done with it all,” Abby said. “I can’t feel this way anymore.”

  “See?” Parker asked. “You thought we were the monsters? We’re not. I’m going to lose the two people I love over this.”

  “You did this,” I said.

  Parker looked at me. “Really?”

  “I’ll smack the fucking grin off y-”

  “Zayne, stop,” Bella said. “No more.”

  No more?

  She put a hand out. She didn’t want me near her.

  I respected that.

  “You’re done?” Bella asked. “Done as in, what…? You feel guilty now? After all you did to me
?”

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen like this,” Abby said. Then she threw her hands up. “God, listen to that. It’s so fucking cliché. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

  “Abby,” Parker said. He reached for her, but she moved away even more. “Christ.”

  “Look what you did,” Bella said.

  “Me?” Parker asked. “Sorry for following my heart! Especially after you let yours go crazy, Bella.”

  “Crazy?” she yelled. “You took everything from me, Parker. I didn’t know what to do!”

  “So you lost yourself. And I found someone else. And it got messy.”

  “Fuck this,” I said. “Bella, don’t buy this shit for a second.”

  “Who in the hell is this guy?” Parker asked. “I mean, is this real, or did you pay him to come here? Suck his dick or something so he acts all tough?”

  I charged toward Parker.

  Bella got between us as he casually stepped away.

  Bella grabbed my shirt. “No, don’t—I’m sorry, Zayne. You shouldn’t have come.”

  “What? I thought we wanted…”

  “No.”

  “We wanted,” Parker called out. “Oh, shit. So you’re here to make me jealous, huh? Not going to happen.”

  “You broke her heart,” I said to Parker. I looked at Abby. “And you did, too. Her best fucking friend.”

  “I know that,” Abby yelled. “You don’t think I felt it all those times?”

  Bella shot a glare over her shoulder. “All those times?”

  “Bella, stop acting like this,” Parker said.

  “Don’t listen to him,” I whispered. “You came here for a reason, darlin’. I’m here for you. Whatever you need. They don’t deserve you, Bella. Nobody deserves you. You’re too good and beautiful for this kind of shit.”

  “Sweet-talker,” Parker said. “So, you ran off and fucked this guy, huh?”

  “I’m going to hurt him,” I said.

  Bella pushed at me. “No. Go home, Zayne.”

  “What?”

  “Go home,” Bella said. She looked up at me. “I’m sorry. Just go home. This was a bad idea.”

  “I just wanted to talk to you again,” Abby said. “I wanted to show you that I was wrong. I feel bad.”

  “She’s right,” Parker said. “Abby broke up with me. And I’ll honor that, Bella. For you.”

  Bella swallowed hard.

  She was hurt. She was confused.

  “Ah, darlin’, I can’t leave you here like this,” I said.