Love Lost And Found: A Holiday Romance

by Ava Celeste McCullough

  “That’s what I tried to tell you, too. But you wouldn’t listen. You were about to move all the way across the country to be with him!”

  “I guess I was too clingy. I was just so into him.”

  “I know, dear. And it killed me to watch you have your heart broken. But I never held it against Kyle because I knew why he broke up with you.”

  “Was I really that clingy?” Lara whined.

  “I wouldn’t say clingy. You were just…”

  “Desperate?”

  “No. You were losing sight of yourself. You were forgetting about what was really important, which was school. And it worried me. I loved Kyle but I didn’t like how serious you were getting about him after only a few months.”

  “Well, now Kyle thinks that we are both in a good place to start again.”

  “And do you agree?”

  Lara paused. “I do,” she said finally.

  “You hesitated. What is it?”

  Lara sighed. “What if I’m just a rebound? I mean, he just got a divorce.”

  “How long were they married?”

  “I think two years. And then Kayla cheated on him. Said he didn’t spend enough time with her. But he says that they were growing distant before that, anyway.”

  “And he doesn’t want to get back together?”

  A chord of doubt thrummed in Lara’s heart. “I mean, he talks like they’re over….Do you think he wants to get back together with her?”

  Aunt Lynn smiled. “I don’t sense that he does, no. His focus seems to be totally on you.”

  “But men are great at saying what you want to hear. What if he’s just a great manipulator? He’s a lawyer!”

  “Lara, he may be a lawyer, but he’s always had a pure heart.”

  “Yeah. I always felt that he liked me because I’m a charity case.”

  “What?” Aunt Lynn seemed confused.

  “Never mind. But last night he said…that I was different than all the other girls. That I was full of fire. And that’s why he liked me.”

  “He really wants to be with you, Lara. Don’t overthink this.”

  “You might be right. He wants me to go to dinner with his parents tonight. That’s pretty serious. But I’m dreading it. I hate his mother.”

  Aunt Lynn grimaced. “She certainly isn’t the most pleasant woman.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t say I hate her. But I strongly dislike her. She was always calling me the child of a broken home and telling Kyle to be careful with me. I know that we broke up for the best, but I feel she played a major role in it.”

  “She was never very nice to you. I certainly didn’t like how she treated us. Like we were the scum of the earth. We’re not a bunch of lowlifes!”

  “That’s true.” Lara shuddered at the memories of how ashamed she used to feel of her family, and shoved the memories to the back of her head. There was no need for shame. Her family was lovely and she was certainly lucky to have them. “Is she nice to you in the book club?”

  Aunt Lynn looked uncomfortable. “Why do you think I stopped going?”

  Lara sighed. “So she’s still horrible.”

  “Very rigid and over controlling. She always made me feel out of place and unwelcome.” Aunt Lynn shrugged. “I tried to fit in, to have something to do and to make new friends, but I finally gave up on those ladies. I have my church friends. And the ladies in the knitting club.”

  “I’m so sorry. She had no right to treat you that way.”

  “Well, you know that you don’t have to go to dinner with them,” Aunt Lynn said.

  “I know. But it seems so important to Kyle. I guess he wants them to know that we’re seeing each other again. Er, that we might see each other again.”

  Aunt Lynn shot Lara a sly smile.

  After getting their nails done, they went to lunch at a little Mexican place. As soon as the waiter dropped off their margaritas, Aunt Lynn cleared her throat. “So I have been meaning to talk to you…about yesterday.”

  Lara’s heart sank. “Do you want to talk about this later?” This was the last topic she wanted to talk about in her light mood.

  “No. I want to talk about it now. I feel that we have spent too many years not talking about it.”

  Lara swallowed. “OK.”

  “I want you to know that I’m not angry with you at all. You wanted to know your dad and it was wrong of me to stop you.”

  “Oh, Aunt Lynn, you were just trying to protect me. It was stupid of me to not listen.”

  Aunt Lynn sighed. “That’s why I didn’t want you to meet him. I knew he would break your heart. But I suppose that’s something you needed to find out for yourself.”

  “I know of wish I hadn’t. Yet if I hadn’t talked to my dad, I know I would always be wondering about him. I might even have reached out to him by now.”

  “He is missing out, not knowing you. I have no idea why he was so selfish.”

  “You know that he has a family now? I have three little sisters that I don’t even know.”

  Aunt Lynn looked upset. Her hands shook as she brought her margarita glass to her lips. “I suppose that makes sense,” she finally said.

  “Sometimes I look him up on Facebook. I want to talk to him again, and meet my little sisters, but then I don’t. It hurts every time I think about him or see his pictures of his little girls.”

  “Why do you torture yourself, honey? If it hurts you, you should stop looking at those pictures.”

  Lara shrugged. She didn’t really know the answer herself. “I do feel bad keeping it from you, though,” she said finally.

  “It’s fine. I suppose I should have expected it. It’s only natural. How long did it go on?”

  “Maybe nine months? He just randomly stopped talking to me right after I turned seventeen. Didn’t send a card, didn’t come to my graduation like he promised. Even after he quit talking to me, I still looked for him at graduation.”

  “Yes, you seemed very sad that day. I thought it was because you missed your mom.”

  “Oh, yes, I missed her too.”

  Aunt Lynn placed her hand over Lara’s. “We all do. But I feel terrible. I feel like you lost both of your parents. That is a terrible burden to bear.”

  Lara considered it. “Really, I don’t think about it all the time. Sometimes I miss Mom. Sometimes I miss Dad. Honestly, Dad hurts me more. And a therapist suggested that my relationship with my dad is why I have trouble having healthy relationships with men. She thought maybe I can’t get close to men because I have trust issues caused by Dad’s abandonment. But I don’t know if that’s true. Dad when I was so young, that I really don’t remember him.”

  Aunt Lynn sighed as she settled back into her seat. “You know, Lara, I feel that maybe it’s my fault.”

  “What? No! None of it is your fault!”

  “No, honey, not what happened to your parents. I mean the problems with your love life.”

  “Aunt Lynn! None of it is your fault.”

  “No, honey, I think I scared you. I was always telling you not to make the same mistakes as your mother. I just didn’t want to see you hurt, but I think now that I impaired your ability to be with a man.”

  “Aunt Lynn! That’s just not true. If anything, you taught me to have standards.”

  “Yes, dear, that was my intention. I hope it’s true.” She sighed again. “But now I have high hopes for you and Kyle. I think he’s good for you and I think you two can move past your issues and have a happy life together. It is time for you to meet someone special.”

  “Yes, I know, the clock is ticking,” Lara said dully.

  “No, it’s not. You’re still young. But you have been lonely for a long time. This year is the saddest that I’ve seen you. And today, you finally seem like yourself again.”

  Lara beamed. “I actually feel very happy.”

  “I have Kyle to thank for that, for making my baby happy again.”

  Shortly after they got in from lunch, Cassie pulled up.
Long ago her yellow Bug had broken down, but she had gotten a new one. That type of car just suited her personality, bright, snarky, and cute.

  Cassie and Aunt Lynn were happy to see each other. After they hugged, Aunt Lynn began brewing Cassie a cup of coffee. Cassie and Lara sat at the table to chat.

  “So I hear that somebody was at the lake with Kyle Brennan the III last night,” she winked at Lara.

  “You heard that, did you?” Lara blushed. She had forgotten how it was to live in a small town, where everybody knew everybody’s business.

  “So what happened? Are you two together again?”

  “I’m so sure that we’re together. But we’re definitely going to try for something.” Lara glance nervously at Aunt Lynn, replaying their earlier conversation.

  “Aww. You two were so cute together. I’m happy to hear it.”

  “Yeah, but now I’m having dinner with his family tonight. I’m so nervous. You remember how Mrs. Brennan was?”

  Cassie rolled her eyes. “Bottle blonde snot.”

  Lara and Aunt Lynn both snorted in laughter. “I miss your mouth,” Lara said. “You were always the snarky one in high school.”

  “Always was? I still am, girl.”

  “I’m just so nervous. I’ll be wearing the same dress I wore on Thanksgiving and I hope Kyle won’t notice.”

  “Wyatt wouldn’t even notice if I wore my panties on my head. I’m sure you’re fine.”

  “Well, his mom will be there judging me. I really need to look my best.”

  “Here.” Cassie stood up. “I’ll do something really cute with your hair. And let’s do a smoky eye.”

  “No, no smoky eye. But an updo would be nice.”

  Cassie made Lara’s hair look adorable. Lara did her makeup in a soft, neutral look and put on her Thanksgiving dress, which was a soft wool tan off-shoulder long-sleeve. When Lara finally came downstairs, Aunt Lynn and Cassie cheered and Uncle Joey whistled.

  Chapter 9: Dinner with the Brennans

  Lara’s knees trembled as they came in sight of Kyle’s huge, white house. The house was always so beautiful. Just recently a landscaping crew had draped the oaks clustered around the house with lights. They twinkled gold and above them the stars shone. Lara could see her breath when Kyle helped her down from her high seat in the truck that he was still borrowing from his dad.

  “Are you OK?” he asked her, seeming to read her nervousness.

  “Oh, yeah, I’m great.” She beamed at him. She felt her long earrings that Aunt Lynn had lent her swinging against her cheeks. At least Kyle had not yet noticed that she was wearing the same dress that she had worn two days ago.

  “There’s no need to be nervous. It’s not like you haven’t met them before,” Kyle laughed.

  “Ha! Yes.” That’s exactly why I’m nervous, Lara thought. “Was your mom surprised to know that you’re seeing – that you were bringing me over?”

  “Very,” Kyle said. When Lara glanced at him in fear, he added, “Not in a bad way.”

  “I sure hope not. She didn’t seem to approve of me in high school.”

  “She didn’t disapprove,” he said.

  He opened the huge oak front door for her. She almost walked in, before remembering to take off her shoes and set them carefully on the shoe rack beside the door.

  “Hello, Lara.” Mrs. Brennan strode into the foyer with a dazzling smile. She looked very nice, stick-figure thin and with her frosted blonde hair in an attractive bob. Diamonds glittered from her neck and ears. Lara suddenly felt even smaller than she had approaching the house.

  “Hello, Mrs. Brennan. Nice to see you again.”

  “Yes.” Mrs. Brennan stopped several feet away from Lara and looked her up and down. Her fake smile wavered slightly. She didn’t even open her arms for a hug; she had never once hugged Lara. “Well. Come on in.” She quickly flicked her eyes over Lara’s feet, making sure that Lara didn’t have shoes on.

  Lara followed Mrs. Brennan into the huge family dining room. The table was set with a huge candelabra and fresh gardenias. How much did she spend on fresh flowers this close to winter?

  “I have to admit, I was sure surprised when Kyle said he was bringing you over,” Mrs. Brennan said. “You just ran into each other and decided to start dating again or something?”

  “Well, he didn’t really run into me,” Lara said awkwardly. “My aunt Lynn orchestrated the whole thing by having Kyle over for dinner Wednesday.” She laughed, trying to make the situation light, but she should have known that that never worked with Mrs. Brennan.

  Mrs. Brennan just stared at Kyle with a sharp smile. “Really? I didn’t hear that part. So you went to dinner with Lynn McClure?”

  Kyle looked uncomfortable. “Well, yes. That’s how Lara and I started talking again.”

  “Oh. Well how sweet. It might not look good for your divorce, you know. The judge might not look on you dating so quickly so well.”

  “So your divorce really isn’t final?” Lara was stung by this revelation. The man standing beside her in the nice shirt, the man she had just shared the most romantic night of her life with, was married?

  Kyle didn’t want to meet her eyes. “I’m well aware of how divorce proceedings work, Mom. I’ve litigated a few myself. Let’s talk about something else, please, Mom?”

  “I’m just looking out for you, dear.” She shot Lara a tight, fake smile. “It’s a small town and you know that Kayla talks to everyone. I wouldn’t want her to find out.”

  “She’s moved on herself, so I don’t think it is a huge issue,” Kyle responded. “She just wants money.”

  Mrs. Brennan made a sad face. “Don’t be so hateful just to impress Lara. Kayla is a wonderful person and you’re making her seem like a –“

  Mr. Brennan entered the room with a bottle of wine. “Lara,” he said warmly. He was a big, husky man, weathered from days on the golf course. Lara had always felt slightly more welcome by him than Mrs. Brennan. He was intimidating, though, the kind of guy that frequently lunched with the mayor and cut ribbons at business grand openings.

  They all sat down to eat. Mrs. Brennan’s dinners always looked like something out of a cooking magazine. Lara worried that she was violating some subtle table manner law that she had never learned at her house. She knew to place her napkin on her lap and keep her elbows off of the table, but she worried that there were other manners that she was forgetting. The last thing she wanted was for Mrs. Brennan to look down on her even more. Just because she was from a low socioeconomic background did not mean that she had no class.

  The dinner started awkwardly. Mr. Brennan talked about his plans to light up the gold course for a Christmas couples’ walk.

  “That would be nice to go to,” Kyle smiled at Lara and squeezed her hand. “Maybe we could come back for Christmas.”

  Mrs. Brennan cleared her throat. “I think we are only going to include married couples. From the country club.”

  “Oh. Well, all right.” Kyle refolded the napkin on his lap in discomfort.

  “Are you going to come back for Christmas?” Mr. Brennan asked.

  “I don’t know. It would be nice. I’m sure you would like to come to Christmas, right, Lara?”

  Mrs. Brennan cleared her throat again. Then she laughed nervously.

  “What, Mom?” Kyle demanded.

  Mrs. Brennan laughed nervously again. “I would rather not talk about this here.” She lifted her knife and fork and began to slice her pot roast into neat slivers.

  “We are all here and we are all adults. Why don’t you say what you are thinking, Mom?”

  “Well I just don’t think it will look very good.”

  “What will not look very good?”

  “Oh, Kyle, you know what I mean. Just like Christmas you were here with Kayla, all over each other, making out in the garden. Now this year you will bring another woman? And while you are still married, at that?”

  “I fully intend to be divorced by Christmas, Mom.”

/>   Mrs. Brennan sighed. “It just isn’t decent. I raised you better.”

  “How about these potatoes? Quite delicious, honey,” Mr. Brennan cleared his throat to change the subject.

  But Mrs. Brennan was determined to drive the subject. “How do you think poor Kayla would feel, anyway? You know she talks to family and to some of your friends here. She would find out, and she would be so crushed. She’s such a sweet girl.”

  Lara felt uncomfortable. She did not talk to any of Kyle’s friends or family, and she could not see herself doing so in the future. She wondered how outgoing Kayla must be. Kayla must be one of those women whom everyone liked, a shining star of charisma. Lara realized that her jealousy was starting to burn, so she distracted herself by surveying the whorls in the radishes and cabbage in her salad.

  “She crushed me,” Kyle responded. “I really can’t worry about what she feels anymore. It is over.”

  “I just think you are being too hard on her. I am sure that you two can work things out when you get back to Seattle. I do hope you work things out, anyway. Don’t let…other things distract you from what is important. You made vows to that woman.”

  “Mom!” Kyle snapped. “Could we not talk about this over dinner, right in front of Lara?”

  Mrs. Brennan shrugged. “Well, you asked to talk about it, dear.”

  “Lara, where did you end up going to school? Tell us about your life,” Mr. Brennan said.

  Lara was uncomfortable under the spotlight. “Well…I went to the Art Institute of San Antonio.”

  Was it just her imagination, or did Mrs. Brennan smirk?

  “Now I work as a graphic designer for Thomas Avery Publications in Seattle. It’s a media company. I design logos, illustrations, newsletter graphics, that type of thing.”

  “She was voted top designer of 2015,” Kyle said triumphantly.

  Lara had to laugh. “Did you get that off of my LinkedIn?”

  “That’s great. Kayla was artistic herself,” Mrs. Brennan said. “Those little cartoon love birds she designed for your wedding invitations were so cute.”