It came time for her to RSVP for Meredith’s wedding, which would be on New Year’s Eve. She had had held onto some vague, unrealistic hope that she might be able to add a plus one. But never mind.
For the Bachelorette party, Meredith rented out the bar where she had first met her fiancé. As a talented hairdresser, Meredith had many friends. The place was totally packed with people when Lara got there. Pink roses were tied to the back of each chair and pink streamers and confetti-filled balloons bobbed from the ceiling. Meredith sat on the “Princess” chair, which had been decorated like a throne. She was wearing a pink plastic crown and a faux mink wrap and holding an apple martini.
“Congratulations!” Lara cried, hugging Meredith. It took so much enthusiasm that she didn’t have to not come off as a complete dope at the party. She was determined to act like her life was great so that Meredith could have a great time.
“Thanks, girl!” Meredith’s sister, Rose, took Lara’s gift with a smile and added it to the huge pile on the bar.
“What do you think of my cake?” Meredith indicated the enormous rose-shaped cake sitting in front of her.
“It’s incredible!”
“My friend at the Sweet Treats Bakery baked it for me.” Meredith hugged herself in happiness. “This is just the best party ever!”
Someone else came up to talk to Meredith. Lara drifted off. The bartender nodded at her and she decided to order a cucumber martini. It would not take many of those to get her drunk. She was determined to drink as much as she had to in order to make this event bearable. While there were no men present besides the bartender and the jazz band playing, the love theme and the color pink just made her feel left out.
She did not know most of the people in the party. They were all of Meredith’s clients and friends, not Lara’s friends. But a few nice women said hi to Lara. Most of them were about to get married themselves and had gone to Las Vegas with Meredith the week before for a “single ladies’ night out.”
“Am I the only here who isn’t about to get married?” a heavyset brunette woman groaned aloud.
“I think I’m the only other single lady here,” Lara answered.
“Well, amen to that.” The woman raised her amaretto sour and toasted Lara. “Are you just going to get drunk too?”
“Yup,” Lara said.
They both laughed and ordered second rounds.
“I just have a bad breakup,” Lara told the woman.
“Ugh, those are the worst. I had my divorce last year. Been married since I was twenty-two. They say you should wait to get married till you’re at least twenty-six and I say that’s a smart idea.”
“Well, I’m twenty-six and so far from getting married that it isn’t funny,” Lara said.
“You’re not missing out on anything, honey,” the woman said. “Carrie, by the way.” She held out her hand.
Lara shook it. “Lara. Well, I hope you’re right. I really thought this guy and I would last. He was my high school sweetheart, you know.” Lara knew that she had already had too much to drink because she was getting overly emotional and sharing all with a stranger.
By the Lara’s third martini, the bar started served refreshments. Little finger sandwiches and then pencil thin slices of cake. Meredith got the biggest slice of cake and couldn’t finish it. She had been dieting to fit into her vintage wedding gown and she complained that her stomach had shrunk, preventing her from eating too much. “Atkins really works,” she declared.
Afterward, she got to open her presents. The pile was by now overflowing. Meredith really was popular. Besides the usual gag gifts, there were also some cute clothes and expensive perfumes. Lara got her a Marilyn Monroe candle that was supposed to smell like vanilla. “This is too cute to burn!” Meredith cried and everyone laughed. Lara tried to laugh too.
With the last present opened and heaps of tissue paper and wrapping paper on the floor, Meredith took a stand up on the DJ’s podium. She was a little tipsy and wobbled on her stiletto heels. The music turned off and the lights went on. “Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming to my amazing party! All I can say is, where are the strippers? C’mon, I was expecting somebody to at least hire a sexy policeman or something for me! I’m about to get married! I want to get loose!”
Everyone laughed. “I wouldn’t mind a sexy policeman,” Carrie said, and Lara laughed. While she had never seen a male stripped in real life, she was in an odd state of mind and did not mind the idea either.
“Well, Merry, your wish is my command,” someone called from the audience. Then everyone parted ways for two muscular, handsome men, one dressed as a cowboy and the other as a policeman.
Meredith shrieked in giggles as the two strippers got on either side of her and began grinding on her. She laughed so hard that tears ran down her face.
Someone else ran on stage with a big cream pie and smashed Meredith’s face into it. Cream filling got everywhere. Meredith was laughing even harder as she attempted to wipe the cream out of her hair. It totally ruined her cute updo. She began hurling bits of cream at guests and wiping her hands on the strippers, who started grooving and grinding against her again.
“All joking aside,” she finally said, as she attempted to compose herself. The strippers stopped grinding on her and waited on either side of her, posing as slaves waiting for her next command. “I am so happy to be getting married to the man of my dreams. I truly love my husband. He’s such a great guy. And I met him here, a year ago!”
“You go girl! I love you Meredith!” different guests screamed. Carrie and Lara joined in. Despite her bitterness, Lara really was happy for Meredith. Meredith deserved to be happy, after years of searching for men and flirting in cocktail bars.
“You know, sometimes you meet a guy and you can’t get enough of him. No matter how mad you are at him, you still love him. If you find that guy, you need to stay with that guy. Never let him go. That’s how you get to the place I’m at. You work through your troubles. You forgive. And that’s how you find love. I’m sure my hubby and I make it seem easy, but it isn’t easy for anybody. You have to make it work.”
After her speech, everyone cheered and began hugging Meredith. The music came back on and she started dancing with her friends and the strippers. Carrie and Lara had their fourth drinks and joined in the dancing. Lara was just drunk enough to let loose and start to have a good time. “Forget men, I just like dancing,” Carrie shouted over the loud techno, and Lara laughed. For some reason, she couldn’t share the sentiment, though she certainly understood it.
When Meredith went to the bar to get a shot, Lara sidled up to her and hugged her. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, girl! You need to make an appointment with me. I have a few openings before I go on my honeymoon in Hawaii. Let me retouch your highlights.”
“I guess I should. I don’t really have anyone to impress anymore.”
“Girl! You know that you need to get out there. Remember what I just said about making it work?”
“There’s this guy Kyle that I was in love with. I want to make it work with him, but I have so many feelings bottled up inside. I’m mad at him and I don’t trust him and I don’t know if it’s really love.”
“Quit bottling your feelings up and just go for it. If it isn’t love, you will find out soon enough. But you’ll never know if you don’t take a risk!” Meredith downed her tequila shot, bit into a lime, and then ran back out to the dance floor, dragging Lara with her.
Lara danced until she was sore, and then she danced a little more. She danced with Meredith, with Carrie, and with several new friends. She even danced with the sexy policeman a few moments, before bursting into laughter and running away. The strippers did not remove any clothes but the policeman was down to just boxers, a collar, and a hat, while the cowboy was just in boxers and a cowboy hat and boots. It was so silly.
Lara realized that she did not need to drink anymore to have a good time, so she switched to water and had a few more finger s
andwiches. Her phone went off and she checked it. It was an offer for one of her new sky watercolor paintings, which she had posted on an online gallery in a half-hearted attempt to try again. Somebody was willing to pay $400 for her painting. For her painting! Someone actually thought it was good enough!
She squealed suddenly and jumped up and down. Then she ran back out to the dance floor.
It was a good night, even though she was single.
She kept thinking about what Meredith said and she suddenly got the overwhelming sense that she had been petty. She had had no right to be angry with Kyle for marrying Kayla. They had been on different paths in life. It did not mean that he had no genuine feelings for her or was using her. She also got the overwhelming sense that everything was going to be all right. But she knew that she owed Kyle an apology. The idea of apologizing to him made her nervous, yet also excited. And she began to picture romantic ways that she could sweep him off his feet, the way he always swept her off of hers.
By the time Lara stumbled outside to catch a cab back to her apartment, she was exhausted and giddy from dancing. The night was drizzling softly, getting her hair and her coat just slightly damp. The tip of her nose smarted in the cold. But she felt happy. Like life was worth living.
She knew what she was going to do.
Chapter 14: Love
Lara couldn’t sleep out of excitement. As her alcohol-fueled euphoria faded, she became scared. What if Kyle didn’t want to see her again? What if her romantic plan went flat? She envisioned herself arriving at his office with a single red rose, looking like a million bucks. With a few appeals to their high school days and a sweet apology, she could remind him of their love and sweep him off his foot again.
But as she went over her plan in bed, with Meow Meow curled in the crook of her knees, she realized how much could go wrong. What if he was gone? What if he watched her give her speech, before some woman entered the room, and turned out to be his new woman? Wow, what if he had reconciled with Kayla?
By morning, the romance had faded from her plan. But she was still determined. She had to get Kyle back, one way or another.
She debated whether or not to get a rose for several minutes at the corner flower store. The steam from her coffee curled up onto the glass over the flower coolers. Would a rose be tacky? Kyle always brought one. Maybe he would appreciate a romantic gesture for a change. Women never had to be romantic, but that made Lara feel a little selfish and guilty. Kyle deserved something nice. Then again, would he even appreciate it? Or would it be weird? Did guys really like romantic stuff, or did they just do it to sweep women off of their feet?
She finally decided to stick to her old plan and to get a rose. She chose a slender, beautiful dark red one. It seemed to represent the way her love with Kyle, strong and enduring and heart achingly beautiful, and a bit thorny.
When she reached his office building, her heart was hammering so hard that she worried it might break out of her ribcage. She was truly afraid of what might happen.
His office was on the sixth floor of a huge, ornate building where even high heels on the marble floors were somehow hushed. The building had a sort of prestigious, heavy energy of law and lawyers. Everything was mahogany and dark pink marble. Even the elevator was fancier than any Lara had ridden in before. There was a large mirror on the back of the elevator and on the ceiling, and much to Lara’s chagrin, she hardly looked her best. She had tried to put on makeup and do her hair this morning, but she was no cosmetologist like Meredith. Her attempts looked sad and laughable in the highly polished elevator mirrors.
His office was just as swanky and uptight as the rest of the building. There was a serious, quiet air. A sandwich delivery boy was slipping out of the office, practically on tiptoes, when Lara entered. He apologized in a whisper when he brushed against her as they simultaneously passed through the glass doors into the office lobby.
The secretary looked at Lara and the rose Lara bore strangely, and then asked her to take a seat. “I will call then she came back a second later. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Brennan is not here today.”
“Really? It’s ten o’clock,” Lara said. “Is he really off already?”
“I’m sorry but I cannot disclose that information. Perhaps you should try calling him.” The secretary glanced at Lara’s rose again, with a slight smirk. “Do you even have his number?”
Lara’s heart sank. Sure she still had his number in her call log, but the idea of making up with him over the phone was hardly romantic. She yearned to catch him in person. And she had no idea where he lived.
“Yes. Thanks,” Lara said quickly as she dodged out of the office.
On her way home, she tried to think of people who might tell her where Kyle lived. She couldn’t think of anyone. There was Benjamin, but the thought of contacting him again after how he had talked about her behind her back made her sick. She was not that desperate.
No, Kyle was special. So he deserved a special effort.
Though Lara was disappointed, she was also slightly relieved. Now she had time to think of an even more eloquent speech and to make herself look really good. She made an appointment for that afternoon at her favorite nail salon for her nails and eyebrow waxing.
The next day, Lara put on her makeup, donned a pretty dress, and went to Kyle’s office. She called her work and said she would be a few hours late. It was so early that there was no way he couldn’t be at work. She didn’t realize until she reached the building’s elevator bank that she had forgotten the rose. She considered turning back, but decided to press on instead. With a deep breath, she burst into the lobby.
The same secretary was there. “Yes? May I help you?” There was a twinkle of amusement in the woman’s face.
“Yes, is Kyle Brennan in today?”
“I believe he is in a meeting. Can I take a message?”
“Yes – no - How long is his meeting?” Lara wanted to wait for him, but she was already running late for work.
“I can’t disclose –“
“OK, I’m just going to wait for him here. Let him know Lara is here to see him when he gets out of the meeting.”
Lara waited for a while. Finally, she got bored and began to sketch on the pad that she carried around with her in her bag. She used some new watercolor pencils she had found at an art store to add some color. Before she knew it, she was recreating a scene of the lake in Texas. She was doing a stellar job on the sky, as she had been since her skydiving adventure. She realized that this was a far more perfect gift for Kyle than a rose. This was the kind of romance he would surely love.
“Lara?”
Lara started. She slightly smudged the blue of the sky a little bit. Watercolor pencils took forever to dry. But she didn’t care because Kyle was there, looking yummy in a suit and tie, and holding a coffee.
“Kyle.” The wind seemed to go out of Lara’s lungs. All the things she thought she would say escaped her.
“What are you doing here?”
“I – I came to see you.”
“Why?” He seemed puzzled, yet also hopeful.
“I – I missed you?” That wasn’t at all as eloquent as Lara had imagined. But her flowery speech was gone, forever. “I guess I wanted to see you, is all. And – and give you this.” She awkwardly held out the sketch, which was not quite finished.
The secretary snickered slightly.
Kyle glanced at the secretary, then at the sketch. “Why don’t we go to my office for some privacy?” he suggested.
“Um, sure.”
Lara wondered why he was being cool. Was he not happy to see her? Was he just bracing himself after she had hurt him? Was he maybe back together with Kayla, or dating someone else? Was that why the secretary seemed so amused at Lara’s romantic attempts?
Kyle held his door open and Lara stepped into a cool, sleek oasis of vanilla scent. She awkwardly sat down in one of the slick leather client chairs while he took his place behind his desk. He even smoothed out the kink that fo
rmed in his tie when he sat, just as if he were about to begin a deposition with a client. Lara didn’t like how on-the-spot she felt, or how his green, green eyes bored into her.
“Look, I – I needed to come apologize. I acted like an ass and I drove you away. That’s not really what I wanted,” she began. Still, she could not seem to capture that eloquence that she had had in her head just minutes ago.
“It’s OK,” Kyle began.
“Not really. You had your heart on your sleeve and I, well, you know, I turned you away. It was partly pride. Partly anger. Mostly fear, I guess. I was scared. And I didn’t accept your offer of love, though I meant to. I want to, even now. If you will still have me?”
Kyle smiled slightly, then grew serious again. “I will always love you and always want you. But what happened made me start thinking. I am not entirely sure that we are good for each other. I feel that you…” He sighed. “I feel that you are unable to move forward from the past.”
“I just let the past get to me. And then I majorly overreacted.” Lara felt so ashamed.
Kyle leaned forward and took her hands. “You did. And that’s OK. That’s just part of who you are. You are an emotional woman, and it’s better that you feel too much than too little. But I just need to make sure that we are good to move on from the past.”
“We are,” Lara started to cry, she was so happy and relieved. “Oh, Kyle. What I said about you waiting for me was so stupid. I really didn’t mean it.”
“I didn’t really think you did,” Kyle admitted. “But it did bother me that you would say something like that. I think it spoke about some internal resentment you held.”
“I think it did. But I know that’s silly. I didn’t really wait for you, either. I didn’t even try to contact you. I really should have. But I can’t regret how things turned out. I’m actually quite happy with how things turned out, in the end.”
Love Lost And Found: A Holiday Romance Page 11
