You Only (Cameron Farms Book 1)

by Jayne, Melanie

  Holy shit, did he even realize what he just said? Hale nodded slowly, automatically. “And that upset you?”

  He let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I don’t like it. It made me think about the reasons you gave me for leaving. I’ve turned into someone I don’t respect.” His eyes were troubled and his shoulders sagged in defeat.

  “Oh. I don’t know what to say.” Her voice was rough as she stalled. She had always hoped, no prayed, for his understanding. Here it was and she was a little let down, disappointed. He laid it out, and there was no lightning strike or thunderclap. It was simply out there. Honest, clear and easy to understand, the way she had always wanted the communication to be between them.

  “You should start with Karma’s a bitch or what goes around comes around.” He looked like he was preparing for her to attack. His shoulders were back and his chin was out.

  “So, let me get this straight, recently you figured out that your dream and the dream that many had for you wasn’t what you wanted.”

  He nodded as he watched her warily.

  “I explained almost the same story to you about my leaving and you didn’t accept it. You acted like it was outrageous and you refused to accept my explanation.” She waited for him to reply.

  “I fucked up that night,” he told her softly. “I don’t know why but I can’t think straight when it comes to you. I don’t react like I should. I’m sorry, Hale.”

  “I fucking dropped to the floor and cried over you when you left that night.” She yelled at him.

  He flinched at her words.

  “In hopes of, God, I don’t even know what I hoped.” Her nails bit into the palms of her hands because she had fisted them so tightly. “I have told you my secrets. I’ve given you the ugly, scary parts of myself.” She looked away, fighting back the angry tears. “You should have understood, Finn.”

  “I suck, all right?” he yelled.

  “You don’t get off that easily, Finn. You’ve made me carry this around for far too long and that’s the best you can do? I suck?” She wanted to jump off the table and tackle him to the floor.

  “I…I missed it at first, OK?” He started pacing again. “For years, I wanted to hear your reasons for walking out. I wanted to tear you apart because I was sure that you wouldn’t be able to make me understand. God, I hated it that I did.” He moved toward her. “I carried all that anger and hurt and even when I thought it had faded away, someone would remind me and it would come back.”

  “You got caught up in the story.” She knew it, had known it for a while. His pride had taken a beating.

  “Jesus, Hale, I’ve wasted so much time being mad when I should have let it go.” Again, his raked through his hair. “I always thought that I was a good person, a smart person, I’m not.” He looked so lost.

  “Finn.” She started to tell him that one of the first things that she had learned in therapy was that it hurt to find out that what you believed to be true, wasn’t.

  “You should hate me,” he told her.

  She slid off the table and took a step toward him. She lightly grasped his biceps. “Nope, those words never crossed my mind.” She let go of his arms. “You see, I know how much it hurts when you see a different truth and your pride takes a hit. Believe me, I’ve been there many times. Right now, I can see that you are hurting. If you want me or need me, I’m here. You’re a good man, it’s just that you were stupid about some things.”

  He dropped he forehead to hers as he lightly held her waist. “Hale, you scramble my brain. Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me.”

  “Sometimes, I surprise myself.” She let out a soft snort. She led him to the table, pulled out one of the chairs, and gently pushed him into it. “Talk and I’ll listen.” She watched him for a moment and returned to her seat on top of the table.

  “Why are you doing this?” His eyebrows raised in confusion.

  “I’m tired of holding onto the pain and the past. I truly mean this, I want to move on. I want that for us.” Scary to admit, but yeah, it felt good to say it.

  “Jesus, Hale. I’m not even sure how to start.” He leaned back in the chair. It must have felt like it was going to tip over because he threw his weight forward to compensate.

  She laughed at the look on his face.

  “It’s not funny, I thought I was going to land on my head.” He joined in her laughter.

  “Maybe that would knock some sense into you,” she teased. “Seriously, I hate these chairs. They move too easily. It used to make everyone crazy at meetings because I couldn’t sit still. My boss chastised me once for moving too much, so after that I would walk out of a meeting with my muscles cramping from trying to stay still.”

  “I still have problems imagining you working in such a conservative world.” He crossed his knee to his ankle. “Over the years, I followed your career. You did very well.”

  She let him change subjects. “I surrounded myself with a good team and I worked hard.” She shrugged off his compliment.

  “You made the right decision. Staying here would have drained the life out of you.” He dropped his gaze when she started to speak.

  “I hurt you. I still carry that with me. I’ve tried to be a better person, like I could make up for it in some way.”

  “I know that you have and I agree that we should work to make it go away.” His eyes moved back to her face.

  “I wanted to tell you about the embezzlement. It was four in the morning, and I wanted to call you. I kept reaching for the phone, but I felt like I had to follow the directive given. Like it was some fucking test that I couldn’t fail.” Her eyes filled up with tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I got caught up in my fear of making a mistake and being wrong.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek followed by another, and another. He was on his feet and used his thumb to gently catch her tears. “I fucked up. I had just promised to stop hurting you and I did it again. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you.”

  “No you shouldn’t have. It hurt a lot.”

  “God, I am so sorry.” He kissed her cheek. “I feel like I’m doing everything wrong when it comes to you. My problem with the past, I keep taking it out on you. That’s wrong and I have to fix that part of me.” He paused. “I thought I knew you then, but clearly I didn’t. Now, I keep finding parts of you that I would have never guessed existed. I always thought that I was good at figuring people out, but you stump me.”

  “I don’t like to hear that, but now I understand.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him tense. “You were mad and maybe a little frightened. But I won’t be your verbal punching bag.”

  “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He told her again, his lips against her cheek. “I mean about all of it but especially this audit thing. I was a total jerk.”

  “Did you choose me because you thought I would understand, or because you wanted to hurt me?” She hoped for an honest answer.

  “Wes and Moe came to me with the information. I had Matt go over your work. He has a business degree and I could depend on his discretion. When he confirmed your findings, I had to tell the Executive Committee. As soon as I got out of that meeting, I was in the car driving to your place. I don’t remember even deciding to do it, I just headed to you.”

  She nodded and then watched him. She could see his throat work as he considered his next words.

  “I needed to be with you.” His body shuddered.

  “Good.” She smiled.

  Once again, she had confused him. “I’m not understanding.”

  “I like it that you came to me when you needed a safe place, I’m not too happy with what transpired, but we can work through that.” She felt the last of her anger fade and something that felt like hope start to bloom.

  “Jesus, Hale, you make me insane.” He kissed her lips. “I want to do better. I serious, I’m so sorry. I acted like a fool, I took out my frustration on you and that was wrong.”

  He took the opp
ortunity to pull her closer to his body. He ran his tongue along the seam of her closed lips, begging for entry. She opened for him.

  After long minutes, she slowly pulled away from Finn and smiled.

  “That is an evil smile,” he teased. “So, will you continue working for Wes, for us?”

  “I appreciate the offer and your apology, but no.”

  “What do you mean no?”

  She could feel his muscles tense under her hands. “The audit is complete. I finished it yesterday morning. My part of the job is complete. I’ll be available regarding the other problem, but I’m finished.”

  “I can’t believe you worked that fast. Wes has never been able to complete the work that quickly.”

  She looked down. “I get a little too focused. I started and I couldn’t stop. When I get like that, it’s better to just let me go instead of trying to stop. It made me a very popular employee, but in reality somebody needs to remind me to shower and eat.”

  “I could be selfish and try to find some other accounting project. I would need to check in with you, often.” His voice had taken on that growly quality that made her nipples harden.

  She gave a throaty laugh. “Well, you can try.” She pulled on the lapels of his jacket to kiss him again.

  Finn pulled her off the table so that they were toe to toe. He ran his hands down her back and over her ass. “I like this, you’re all bad girl.” He squeezed her ass through her leather skirt.

  “I was going for ‘don’t fuck with me.’” She nipped his jaw.

  “Don’t say fuck.” He kissed her again. It was hotter, wetter. “Not when you are dressed like this and I have my hands on your ass.”

  She caught the heat in his eyes. “Fuck,” she whispered. She loved that she could make him react like this.

  He rubbed his hardness against her hip. “I want you.” The growl had taken over.

  She pulled back to see his expression. “Oh, Mr. Mayor, right here in your conference room? What about romance?” She gave him her sexiest look.

  He looked around. “Point taken, a table isn’t right for our first time.”

  “Well, don’t give up so easily,” she urged.

  Finn ran his hand over her ass. “Babe, I want to hear you say my name when you are so crazy from my hands being on you, that you don’t even know your own.”

  His words made her muscles clench; she was wet. “Well, you can try.” She raised one shoulder casually and flashed him a sexy grin, hoping he would take her up on the dare.

  “I’ll do more than that,” he promised.

  This kiss was hungry and a little hard. She ran her hands through his hair, tugging handfuls. His tongue invaded her mouth and wrestled with hers. She moved her hands to his suit jacket, pushing it off his wide shoulders. He cooperated by loosening his hold on her so the jacket fell free of his body to the floor.

  Finn walked her backward until her hips rested against the table. “Lose the sweater.”

  The command in his voice had her hands moving to the waistband of her skirt before she even realized it. She pulled the soft material free of her skirt, slowly raised her arms revealing her ribs and her red, satin bra, then over her head. She dropped it to the table and watched Finn study her body.

  His eyes were glued to her breasts. He smiled and cupped a breast in each hand, kneading the flesh with his strong fingers. She let out a snicker. Finn was definitely a breast man.

  “You like this?” His stare was intense.

  “Your hands on me? Yeah, I do.” She was lost in the rhythm of his hands. He wasn’t being gentle, but he wasn’t bruising her either. The perfect balance.

  “Take them out.” Again, his voice held that note of command.

  “Um, what?” Her brain couldn’t make any sense of his words.

  His hands were lowering the straps from her shoulders. “Hale, take your tits out of the cups and play with them. Show me what you like.”

  She cupped each breast and lifted them from the supporting cups. The underwire kept the bra from falling or moving out of the way. Finn’s hands were behind her undoing the hooks on the bra and it was gone. She started slowly, cradling one in each hand, feeling their weight. She began to shape them, pushing them outward.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” Finn was watching her with intensity.

  She only allowed herself a glance at his face so she could keep concentrating on what she was doing.

  “Pinch your nipples,” he urged.

  She purred an affirmative and moved her hands slowly, tantalizing him. She pulled on her hard points, allowing her back to arch as she pinched herself hard. She did this a few times, increasing the pressure with each turn. She raised her hand to her lips and licked her thumb and index finger, putting on a show for him. She felt his gaze on her movements, which made her hotter.

  She ran her wet finger along her areola and then did the same with the other hand. She had dropped her head back and made a mewing sound.

  She felt his body’s heat before he touched her, his hands pushing hers out of the way with authority. His lips followed a trail from her jaw line to her collarbone. On the next pass, he added small nips that caused her hips to rock.

  Against her ear he whispered, “Pull your skirt up, I can’t get between your thighs.”

  She let out another low chuckle as she bent a little to grasp the hem of the skirt. She had to do a little wiggle to help the material rise up and over her hips. Finn’s hands followed her progress, running up her rounded thighs, brushing over her black silk panties. They were a hi-rise style, like the bottoms to a bikini she had once seen Marilyn Monroe wearing in a photo. They covered her completely, yet made her feel sexy.

  His fingers trailed over her pussy. When he encountered her wetness, obvious proof that she was turned on, he growled.

  “Christ, you’re wet.” His hands widened her now free thighs. He returned to her covered pussy, gently stroking.

  She watched him smile. She started to pull his shirt free from his pants.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I want to touch your skin.” Her hands ran along his belly, reaching for his chest.

  “More.” Finn growled as he lifted her up onto the table. He shoved the boxes to the side and several sheets of paper fluttered to the floor.

  The coolness of the glass cover protecting the table seeped through her panties. Finn stepped between her legs and gripped the hair at the back of her head, pulling her head back so he could see her face.

  “Do you want my mouth or my hands?”

  “What?” She was having trouble concentrating with his body so near and his hand pulling her hair. She enjoyed the bite of pain.

  “Hale, pay attention, I’m giving you the choice, do you want to come with my mouth on you or my fingers in you?”

  She could feel her chest heave. God, either way would be excellent. She tried to come up with an answer. She needed to say something; she needed to be honest with him. She moved her hands to rest on his chest and cleared her throat. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Yeah, which way you want to come.” He kissed her hard, again.

  “Hang on a minute, I need to tell you this.” She ran her hand up to his shoulders. When he didn’t speak, she glanced at his face. “Um, sometimes it takes me a while, and sometimes I just can’t.” She dropped her eyes to his chest as she finished her confession. “You know, to come.”

  Finn lifted her chin gently. “I’m not worried.”

  “No, I mean, I thought you should know. I don’t want you to get upset.”

  “I’ll just have to work harder.” He smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners, something that always made her body pulse. “Has some asshole gotten pissed about that?”

  “It gets frustrating.” She looked away, not wanting to discuss other partners when they were being intimate.

  He brushed a kiss against her lips. “I get what you’re saying. No pressure. OK?”

  She stared into his eyes
for a few moments. She wanted to believe him.

  When she didn’t answer right away, Finn kissed her again and whispered. “No pressure, Hale, I promise. We’ll get there, but if we don’t then we’ll have to practice and experiment.”

  She nodded and hoped he was right. She wanted to trust him with her body and her heart. “Your hand.” This had been intense and she wasn’t sure that she could handle his mouth on her. She needed some time to work up to that degree of intimacy.

  Finn smiled. “All right, my hand it is.” He gently pushed her back onto the cool glass. Goosebumps erupted on her skin and he ran his warm hands up and down her arms to soothe her. “So soft, you feel so damn soft.”

  His lips kissed a line down her sternum between her breasts. He detoured to lick stripes along their softness. He sucked her hard nipple into his mouth, pulling strongly.

  The sting as he pulled on her nipple shot fire to her pussy and caused her to lift her shoulders off the table. She didn’t know if her hands in his hair, were trying to push him away or pull him closer. Her head was spinning.

  He used his teeth on her and then soothed the bite with his tongue.

  “God, yes, just like that.” Hale exclaimed.

  He didn’t respond, he moved to her other breast and sucked on the sensitive nipple.

  She relaxed her hands in his hair and dropped them to touch his shoulders and his upper arms, enjoying how the muscles flexed under her hands. She could feel her thigh muscles shake with anticipation. She told herself to concentrate on Finn’s hands and the heat of his mouth, the roughness of his chin where his beard had started to break through.

  Finn moved one hand down to trace over her hipbone, tickling her. He moved across her soft belly to the other.

  She fought the urge to suck in her stomach. This was who she was—big breasted, full bodied and soft. Either Finn would find her attractive or he wouldn’t. It wasn’t like she could change her shape during this encounter.