Imperfectly Perfect

by A. E. Woodward

  Shane instantly stood up, ripping his helmet off his head. "You're such a cheater!" he screamed.

  "How so?" I questioned innocently.

  "You hit me! It's against the rules!"

  "Don't be such a baby," I laughed, "and I didn't hit you, it's called drafting. Haven't you ever watched NASCAR?"

  Tyler and Rob joined us as we argued in the middle of the finish line. Rob was eager to go try another track out. He began talking faster than I could comprehend. I hated to admit it, but I was dying to get back behind the wheel. I turned away from the guys and spied Ethan walking towards us. I told myself to not gloat too much.

  "Well done," he said, joining our circle.

  "Thanks," I smiled. "Beginners luck I'm sure."

  I added that more for his ego's benefit than anything else because it wasn't beginners luck; I was really just that good.

  He held out a small ripped piece of paper, "A deal's a deal. Give me a call this week."

  "I will." I promised, even though I knew I wouldn't.

  He rubbed his hands together nervously. I didn't handle awkward situations well, and needless to say the situation was uncomfortable. Ethan was no Casanova and I wanted nothing more than for him to leave. Instead he worked up the nerve to speak again.

  "If you're not busy next weekend, my Frat is having a toga party. You should come."

  I heard the guys choke back their laughter.

  Awesome, I was never going to live this one down. I had shamelessly hit on a college kid all day, for just $20. As an almost thirty-year old woman, I was ashamed.

  "Oh… Ummm… Yeah," I stuttered, "I live in New York. But thanks for the offer."

  He shoved his hands awkwardly into his pockets. "Oh. Right. Well… anyway it was nice meeting you" he stuck his hand out to shake. "I'm sorry but, I don't think you told me your name."

  I placed my hand in his, "Emma."

  "Nice to meet you Emma. I hope to hear from you soon." And with that he finally walked away.

  "Now that," Rob began as he pushed a waded up bill into my hand, "was the best $20 I ever spent."

  Tyler and Shane joined in, laughing wholeheartedly.

  "Screw you guys. At least I've still got it."

  Walking to the next track, Tyler put his arm around my neck and ruffled my hair. "Whatever you say… Mrs. Robinson!"

  I'm ashamed to admit it but, six days later, Ethan and I were preparing to meet up. I partially blamed Rob, but mostly I blamed my inability to say no to a bet. Rob knew this, and frequently took advantage for entertainment purposes.

  Rob bet me dinner that I didn't have the nerve to call Ethan and meet up. Unfortunately for me, I did. And not surprisingly, the poor boy was smitten with me, and sounded thrilled that I had called. While he was a slice of hunk, I wasn't looking to become a cougar; I just wanted my free dinner.

  It just so happened that Ethan and some of his frat brothers were coming to New York for a few days. I tried to politely decline his invitation to meet up but that boy just would not take no for an answer.

  So there we were, preparing to waste a perfectly good Thursday evening on a silly boy.

  "Oh my god Tyler," I whined, "you're worse than a girl!" I yelled, banging on the bathroom door as I passed. "We would like to get out before midnight tonight."

  "You're just in a rush to meet up with your hot date!" he teased.

  "Uh, you guys are friggin' idiots," I called, walking down the stairs to the living room. "You're the reason I'm in this mess in the first place. I don't even know why I hang around with you fools."

  That wasn't necessarily true, because I knew exactly why I hung around with them. When I was with the guys, I actually felt like I belonged. I had always been an outsider with other girls; never quite fitting in. While I loved fashion and makeup, I never understood their obsession with love and romance. I preferred to watch sports, drink beer and live life.

  I sat on the futon watching Shane and Rob box each other on the Wii. They muttered obscenities as they danced around the room looking like fools. I couldn't help but chuckle; they looked ridiculous.

  'What the hell is so funny Emma?" Shane muttered, as his avatar dramatically fell on screen. He spun around to face me.

  "Oh, I was just laughing at how ridiculous you two look playing that stupid game. Two grown men-lawyers even-should be doing something more respectable with their free time," I scrunched my nose up and flashed a smile.

  "Funny Em," Rob, seemingly annoyed, stalked to the console quickly turning it off.

  "But don't stop playing on my account boys. I was rather enjoying myself," I smiled.

  Rob childishly stuck his tongue out and flipped me the bird.

  Tyler appeared at the top of the stairs, looking casual despite the fact that he had been the hold up. I jumped up from the futon.

  "Finally!" We all chimed as he slowly meandered down the stairs.

  I grabbed my clutch from the coffee table.

  "Are we ready?" I asked.

  "Just waiting on you guys," Tyler proclaimed, opening the door for me.

  I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I stalked past him. He was such an ass.

  "Now, don't let me get too crazy tonight guys," I begged, locking the door behind me, "I have my presentation for Under Armour tomorrow."

  They chuckled in response.

  "I'm serious," I whined, "this is my chance to get that executive position I've been dreaming about."

  "I'll try my best Em," Shane said, placing his arm casually around my neck, "but once you get going, controlling you is…" he paused, contemplating his word choice, "about as likely as hell freezing over."

  I shot him the middle finger, even though I knew he was right.

  Nights out with the guys were always phenomenal. At times it seemed as though we were the only ones walking down the crowded sidewalks of New York; we could be shoulder to shoulder with hundreds of people, yet still feel like we were alone in the world. We talked about work mostly, since none of us had much of a love life to speak of, and occasionally we would discuss the good old days. It was never about the conversation for us though. There was just something indescribable about the way I felt walking the streets with 'my boys'. Perhaps it was comfort, safety, maybe even love. They were the most important parts of my life, and I don't know what I would do without them.

  Shane, Tyler, and I have known each other since we were kids growing up in a small hick town in Maine so obviously our friendship comes with a lot of history. We have been inseparable since childhood, and we'd come to depend on each other.

  We all played soccer at NYU and this is where we met Rob. He was a hardcore NYU sports junkie who never missed a sporting event. After seeing him at so many of our games, we eventually started inviting him out with us afterwards.

  Once we graduated we thought it would be fun to all try living together for a while. The plan was for just for a few years while Shane and Rob finished Law school. We started off renting a shitty apartment in Queens. It was a dump, but at the time it was all we could afford.

  Shane and Rob graduated, passed the bar and had no problems finding gravy jobs with some big NYC law firms. We established ourselves pretty quickly and decided we were ready for a more comfortable and permanent living situation. We all had decent paying jobs and worked in Manhattan, so we figured it made sense to live there too. We never really expected that it would become permanent, but after eight years I can't imagine anything different.

  "So where are we meeting this kid?" Tyler asked.

  "At that new dance club down in the Lower East Side," I answered.

  Tyler stopped in his tracks, right in the middle of the busy New York sidewalk. People muttered in annoyance as they had to interrupt their walking in order to skirt around us. "Are you talking about 'Trick'?" he questioned quietly.

  We all stopped, confused, and looked back at Tyler.

  "Yep," I nodded. "That's the one. Now let's go, you've already made us late."

  "No
way! Screw that! I am not going to Trick," Tyler sighed, stuffing his hands quickly into his pockets.

  "Why not Ty?" I questioned, watching Tyler silently shake his head. The silence continued as I looked to Rob, who just shrugged his shoulders in response. Apparently he was just as confused as I was.

  "Because Cheyenne goes there a lot," Shane added softly.

  Cheyenne was the she-devil who had recently taken Tyler's heart and smashed it to pieces. Tyler had insisted to us that she was the one, but we all knew better. She had been nothing but a high maintenance gold-digger from day one. We knew she was only interested in him because we owned a pretty sweet condo in Murray Hill. The fact of the matter was that we could only afford that place because Rob and Shane were lawyers. With both of them pulling in three figures a year our mortgage payment wasn't much of a concern. To be honest, Cheyenne would have been better off chasing one of them. We all knew Tyler wasn't going to make enough money as a Sports Announcer to satiate her and it wasn't long into their relationship when money got tight for Tyler, and Cheyenne got annoyed.

  Of course Shane would know where Cheyenne went, because Shane always knew everything about everybody. He's a great listener; a trait he inherited from his mom, Ms Strout. Whenever you had problems, or just needed someone to bounce ideas off of growing up, you went to her. Tyler, Shane, and I probably spent as much time talking to Ms. Strout about our problems as we did talking to each other. But now that we were on our own in New York, Shane had developed a knack for advice giving and found himself as the new 'go to' guy.

  "Okay," I ventured, and seeing my opportunity out of an awkward situation with Ethan, I jumped at the chance. "Let's just turn around and go to McFadden's. I don't feel like dancing tonight anyway." I walked towards Tyler and put my arm through his. "Shall we?"

  "So where are you taking me for dinner?" Rob smirked.

  "I'm thinking McDonald's sounds nice," I laughed, "I'll be sure to meet you there Monday during lunch."

  "Well, that's not dinner!" He argued.

  "Take it or leave it."

  "Fine," he huffed. "This is bullshit."

  Tyler smiled, obviously appreciating my display of solidarity. He knew how much I hated to lose any, but to lose to Rob? He owed me big time!

  We turned right around and started walking back where we came from. There was always a line outside of McFadden's and tonight was no exception. They were choosy about who they let in and enforced a pretty strict dress code. Luckily, I had worked with the manager on a Facebook campaign so I consistently graced the VIP list and we were never turned away or had to wait in line.

  Even knowing how popular McFadden's was, the line tonight seemed particularly long, with hoards of twenty-something year olds impatiently waiting for their turn to get in. Most of the young girls were dressed to the nines, showing off their bodies in skin tight dresses. The cool October breeze sent a chill through my body as I gave the bouncer my name. He glanced down at his clipboard, and quickly motioned for us to go in. The 'desperates' waiting in line moaned as walked past them and slid past the red velvet ropes.

  Walking into the bar, I immediately understood why the line had been so long. It was much busier than usual. There were lots of college kids there watching the NYU football game, most of them standing or crowded around round tables. Some areas the kids were squeezed in shoulder to shoulder. We pushed our way past the crowd to the bar.

  "What are we drinking tonight boys?" I asked, rifling through my clutch to find cash. I grabbed the first bill I found. "The first round is on me!" I yelled excitedly waving the fifty around.

  "I'm feeling some Blue Moon," Shane motioned for the bar tender. "What about you guys?"

  Blue Moon was always the drink of choice for Shane and I. Sometimes the others would agree to drink it in order to appease us, but usually Rob was a scotch kind of guy, whilst Tyler preferred shots.

  "Sounds good," Rob muttered. "I'll try to go find us a table."

  They left me and Shane standing at the bar. Shane grabbed the money from my hand and gave me one of his infamous smiles. His smirk had made many girls weak in the knees over the years. There was something about him that many women could not resist, but for me his pull was more about comfort than anything else. Shane had been there through it all with me. He and Tyler were the brothers I never had, but always wanted.

  "Blue Moon it is," he chimed, holding up the bill in an attempt to get the attention of the bartender.

  I smiled back as the bartender finally made his way to us.

  "What can I get you guys tonight?" he asked.

  "Two pitchers of Blue Moon," Shane handed the bar tender the bill. "Four mugs please."

  "Sure thing."

  I couldn't help but take notice of the bartender as he turned around to pour our pitcher. I was going through a dry spell when it came to men-aside from my recent cradle robbing experience-and it wasn't taking much to spark my interest.

  I had sworn off relationships a few years back. I partially blamed myself for my bad luck, since I seemed to be a professional asshole-magnet. After being cheated on for the fifth or sixth time, I decided men were useless and I'd do much better just sticking to 'disposable' one-night stands.

  Now before you go and judge me, hear me out; a woman has needs. And my needs did not fall into the romantic category. I was never lonely by any means because when you live with three guys, there is always somebody who wants to go out and do something. I always have somebody to join me for dinner or go to a movie with; basically I have all the companionship that I would ever need. Each of my boys filled their own role in my life. Rob was the crazy asshole that I did dumb shit with. Tyler, being more of the brother type, was always up for a little mischief. And Shane… well Shane was just there through it all. They were all a great shoulder to cry on and the best friends I could ever ask for. All I need to keep my sanity was an occasional great romp in the hay. I blamed my years of living with the guys for my ability to do this; I doubted normal women could be as carefree and relaxed as I was about sex.

  Even though I was craving a little male company, I decided that pursuing the bartender at the bar right next to my condo was probably not a wise choice. We came here a lot and I was not one to deal with awkward situations well.

  "Go find the table Em," Shane spoke interrupting my thoughts, "I'll be right there."

  I'm not sure how many pitchers we ended up drinking, or how many shots we did, but I did notice that it was closing time when we finally stumbled out into the quiet city streets.

  Fortunately for us, we always appoint someone to remain somewhat sober; if there was ever a night when we all got blasted we would never make it home. You see, we were those people. You know the ones I'm talking about. The people who-no matter how old they are-always seem to lack good judgment when they've had a few too many.

  Tonight was Shane's turn to be the bitch.

  Stumbling into the street Tyler decided to serenade us with his very own version of 'Black Betty'… complete with air guitar. Rob and I immediately joined in, singing the lyrics.

  Shane stood in the street,-half embarrassed, half jealous-as the three of us were wildly singing and dancing in the streets of the city.

  "Ok guys," he pleaded, grabbing my hand and pulling. "Seriously, let's just go home."

  "Okay, okay! We're coming!"

  And we sang the whole way home… I think.

  Note to self: drinking on a Thursday night is never a good idea.

  I pounded my nightstand, trying to silence my alarm clock. Its shrill beeping echoed through my brain, adversely affecting my headache. Finally I made contact and blindly hit every button, until finally it fell silent. I pushed my face deeper into my pillow and groaned. My head pounded with the residual effects of the Blue Moon and my stomach was churning from the mixture of shots. I was most definitely hungover. And to make matters worse, it just so happened to be one of the most important days of my career.

  I moved slowly and carefully towards t
he bathroom, knowing it would be a recipe for disaster if I moved at anything other than a snail's pace. I passed Tyler in the hallway, and as each of us was unable to speak, we communicated via grunts.

  I cranked the shower on and the pipes groaned their protest. I sympathized. Any other day I would have admitted defeat, called in sick, and spent the day sleeping in my comfy bed. But this day wasn't like any other. This day was the day of my big break. It just happened to be the day I had the opportunity to move from being a peon to being an Executive Creative Director at the agency.

  I had slaved for years and paid my dues, spent time fetching coffee and making copies. I was a mover and a shaker and my hard work paid off when they started letting me design other people's visions. Someone would tell me what he or she wanted done and I would do it, and do it good. Now finally, after eight years of working my ass off I had the chance to move into the position I had been dreaming of since starting at the agency.

  Earlier in the year, I had been assigned to the Interactive Design Team. In laymen's terms, the team was in charge of creating applications and websites for consumer use. Under Armour had been a staple in my closet since college. It was my lounging around gear of choice, and when I wasn't dressing to the nines I was kicking around in some delicious UA. I could hardly contain my excitement when the news broke that we had entered a contract with them and had been busting tail and working long hours ever since.

  Thing is, my boss left the agency immediately after we won the UA contract, and the big wigs freaked out. I saw this as an opportunity to get my foot in the door, so I approached my superiors with a great idea on how to implement a social networking design to increase web traffic.

  So you can understand my pain when I tell you that today just happened to be the day that I was scheduled to present my pitch.

  I wanted to be pissed at the guys, especially since they had been the ones to convince me to go out the night before my big break. I had been tentative about it, knowing how important this day was. I told myself a few drinks wouldn't hurt, and I would just take it easy. I should have known that I wouldn't be able to do that. I didn't know how to do anything by halves, and that included drinking. As you can see, I apply the motto 'go big or go home' to all aspects of my life.