Heaven's Hell

by Takerra, Allen

  Heaven unnoticeably rolled her eyes as she got up from the kitchen table. She walked to the refrigerator and opened it and then closed it back when she saw that it held nothing but a box of baking soda and a damn near empty pitcher of kool-aid.

  “Ma, why you don’t never have no food? What do you eat?” Her mother became instantly angry, but more out of an act than reaction.

  “Because I don’t got no damn money! Stop acting like you care anyway, if you cared you’d give me some money. You over there living good at Khalil’s and don’t even come home half the time.” Jhenelle knew she was lying. Heaven checked on her all the time, now the money, was a different story. But that wasn’t because Heaven didn’t want to give her mother anything; she just didn’t have it herself.

  “Ma, living good? You call that little studio apartment living good? And anytime I spend the night here I always bring home food for everybody, don’t lie.” Her mother snapped around quick.

  “You keep raising ya voice at me and you gonna have two black eyes instead of one!” With that Heaven walked out of the kitchen and back into her bedroom. It was always like this. Khalil would beat her up and send her home. Then after he calmed down or missed her, he’d come pick her up and give her flowers, maybe run her bath and attempt to pleasure her orally. Anytime she would spend the night at home though, she always ended up getting into it with her mother and would look forward to going back to Khalil’s; it was like the lesser of two evils. She picked up her book bag and rummaged around looking for her book. What the hell? She thought of the last time she had it and then it hit her that she had left it in G’s car. A sudden feeling of agitation and delight consumed her all at once. Agitation because she now had nothing to do to pass the time, she had done all of her homework and it was only Friday, so that meant for the whole weekend she’d have nothing to read. Delight, because anytime G entered her mind, she was taken to another world, a happy world. She laid back on the twin bed and stared at the ceiling as she felt faint pain in her stomach. She thought maybe it was cramps until she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything since the morning before. She searched her jeans pocket for a twenty-dollar bill Khalil had given her when he dropped her off. He always made sure she had money for food, no matter how angry he was at her. Heaven stuck her head out of the project window to feel if she needed her jean jacket or not, she figured she’d leave it. As she walked down the block to the Kennedy Fried Chicken, she lowered her pink baseball cap even more and pulled more hair in front of her eye. It was a nice Spring Friday afternoon, everybody was getting out of school and the sun was shining bright. Guys in cars beeped their horns at Heaven’s fat ass in her fitted jeans as she completely ignored them. Girls were in the streets laughing, flirting, and having a good time. Kids were running around cussing, play fighting, and pretending to be older than they were. Dope boys were hustling, fiends were on their daily missions, and Jehovah’s Witnesses were even out. It was a typical day in the hood when the weather had just started to break.

  Heaven walked into Kennedy’s and her mouth watered at the smell of fried chicken and potato wedges. There were more people in there than she expected, so she kept her head low and stood in line behind two other people. There were girls and guys sitting down but Heaven tried not to make eye contact with anyone, she did not want anybody seeing this mess of an eye Khalil had blessed her with. She felt that someone was behind her but didn’t want to turn around. She just stared at the back of the guy in front of her but soon found herself crashing hard into him. He turned around angry and Heaven did the same as she was met by Shaniqua who had obviously just pushed her. Shaniqua wore a smirk that read ‘now what?’

  “Aha, guess somebody got to yo ass before me bitch! Who gave you the black eye, ya old ass boyfriend? Or maybe it was ya daddy cause you wouldn’t give up the ass last night!” Shaniqua’s friends erupted in laughter, as Heaven turned red with rage. At that moment Heaven didn’t know if she could beat Shaniqua, she didn’t know if her friends would join in and they would all jump her, but she didn’t care. She knew that she had to do something. Heaven focused on Shaniqua’s face and imagined Khalil was giving her the ass whooping of a lifetime, and then she cocked back her left fist and knocked the shit out of her. Shaniqua’s first reaction was that of shock and then one of fear, as she staggered, unaware that Heaven had a mean left. Before she could even set up, Heaven hit her with another left-right combo and kept punching her like their shit was on Pay Per View. Everybody in the spot got up and got excited as they watched the local hood rat get her ass whooped, even her friends had faces mixed with shock and excitement. Heaven had only fought men, one grown ass man in particular and she had no idea how weak fighting this little girl was. She was used to taking Khalil’s punches and putting up a fight of her own and she had no idea that fighting a chick would be this, well, boring. The Arab boy, who was behind the counter, came from around and screamed at them to stop and get out, but he wouldn’t dare try to break them up, not the way Heaven was throwing punches. Heaven became excited when she realized Shaniqua couldn’t keep up, her arms were flailing and she was reaching for Heaven’s hair, but the girl couldn’t fight, so Heaven decided to sass it up a little. She grabbed Shaniqua’s hair with her right hand and pinned her against the wall as she punched her repeatedly in the face with her left. When blood poured from Shaniqua’s mouth, Heaven smirked. She grabbed Shaniqua by the face like a man does his son and leaned in close to her.

  “Now consider that a warning, bitch. Next time I might have to actually hurt you.” Then she spit in her face and walked out.

  The minute she stepped out of the store Shaniqua began going crazy acting like she didn’t just get her ass beat.

  “Fuck you bitch! I aint fucking scared of you! That’s all you got?” She had to stop because she began choking on her own blood. People laughed and snickered at her, and although she was frontin’, she knew she had just gotten her ass beat far beyond what she ever imagined. She turned to her so called girls and cursed them out.

  “Fuck yall! Yall aint do shit!” They remained silent as one of them handed Shaniqua a handful of napkins. She knocked them out of her hand and sat down in Kennedy’s too afraid that Heaven might jump on her again if she went outside. Heaven walked down the street thinking of where the fuck she was going. Her adrenaline was going and she couldn’t keep still, she had to walk it off. She heard a male’s voice calling her name but she ignored it. It called her again but she kept her gaze straight ahead. She heard footsteps approaching her quickly as if someone was running up to her from behind, and as she turned around with her fists ready for round two, she found that it was only Ricky.

  “Whoa, whoa Hev. Calm down, I don’t want none of you,” he said laughing, holding his hands up. She rolled her eyes and turned to keep walking. He took it upon himself to start walking with her.

  “Girl, you really put ya thing down in there. I know that shit felt good.” She didn’t look at him.

  “Nah not really. I wanted my chicken.” He laughed at her but she kept a straight face and contemplated hooking off on him. He suddenly became serious as if reading her mind.

  “Listen Hev, I’m sorry. That was fucked up what I did, but I just wanna let you know that I only told one person. And the only reason I told him is because I wanted to let him know how strong you were, how much shit you been through but you still walk tall, like a soldier.” She turned to him blank faced.

  “First of all, I aint nobody’s soldier. And second of all, it’s cool. When you’ve lived like me, very few people will surprise you.” She paused, looked at him sternly in his eyes, and then continued. “Especially soft ass, pretty boys, that like to gossip like little bitches.” Ricky nodded hurt, but knowing it was deserved.

  “Heaven, I’m sor-”

  “Sshhh,” she cut him off. She licked her lips, shaking her head as she proceeded. “And just when I was about to take you to Heaven.” Then she walked away, leaving Ricky standing there staring at her ass, wo
ndering just how good Heaven really was.

  Heaven ended up stopping at a local bodega that made subs to grab one and for some reason, it was the best damn turkey and cheese sandwich she ever ate. As she took the last bite almost reaching her building, she noticed Khalil’s truck parked outside. She didn’t think he would be coming back for her until tomorrow or even Sunday. Friday nights he usually spent at his bar. She made her way up the narrow pissy staircase and opened the door. Khalil was sitting in the living room watching some Court TV show. He turned to Heaven as soon as she walked through the door.

  “Hey,” he said smiling. She closed the door behind her and threw out her brown paper bag.

  “Hey.” He walked up to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

  “Heaven, I’m sorry baby. But I can’t lose you, I just can’t. Every time I think of somebody touching you, or kissing you, it…it drives me crazy.” He held her tight and buried his head in her hair. She rolled her eyes.

  “Khalil, I told you nobody touched me, we were just friends.”

  “I know, I know. I told you I’m sorry. But forget all that, Cause I’m gon’ make it up to you.” She stepped back and looked at him knowing exactly what that meant, she was just wondering where the flowers were. He smiled slyly too excited about the surprise he had for her. “You remember G, right?”

  Heaven’s heart skipped at least two beats from the sound of that name. Momentarily she imagined him saying that he was going to make it up to her by giving her away to G as a present. She had to fight not to laugh out loud at that one.

  “Um I think so. The guy that dropped us off at the car lot?” He nodded his head hastily.

  “Yeah, yeah that’s him. Well anyway, he got the hook up on all types of shit, and him and his people going down to Atlantic City this weekend for the Jermaine Taylor fight.” She looked at him like he was growing a second head.

  “Soooo,” she said slowly, wondering what that meant. He smiled wider.

  “Soooo, he sold me the two extra tickets that he had…soooo I’m taking my baby to A.C. this weekend.”

  It took her a minute to conjure up what he had said, and the minute she did, all she could think of was a weekend of G. Even if she couldn’t talk to him, she could just be in his presence, hear him, smell him, see him. See him! Oh no, he can’t see me with this ugly ass eye. Although it was a lot more noticeable the day before, and even worse Wednesday night, it was still there. Her smile slowly faded.

  “I don’t know Khalil, I don’t even have anything to wear…and look at my eye.” He put his arms around her again.

  “Oh c’mon baby. You still look beautiful, a little bruised eye aint gonna change that. And the clothes, well, that’s another part of your surprise baby. My home girl Shay that works down at the bar, she’s gonna take you out and buy you something real nice to wear, she know all the hot designer spots.” She forced a half smile to please him but was still worried about how she would look to G. She knew she couldn’t get away with her pink baseball cap all weekend. Khalil told her they would be leaving tomorrow afternoon and that Shay would be picking her up in a little while to go shopping.

  “I’m not staying at your house tonight?” She asked. He turned around on his way out of the door.

  “No baby, you know it’s Friday night. I gotta be at the bar tonight. But I’ll see you tomorrow…have fun with Shay.” Then he left. Heaven stood there with a million questions running through her mind. What am I going to get to wear? What do you wear to a fight? Will G be there with a girl? But there was one question that rang in her head louder than any of them. Who the hell is Shay?

  “Just push all that shit on the ground, it aint nothing. How are you? Nice to meet you, I’m Shay.” Heaven’s first impression of Shay was that she was friendly, very outgoing, a little vibrant, and talked a little too much and a little too fast. Heaven knocked water bottles, magazines, and other stuff onto the passenger seat floor and slowly slid into Shay’s Acura.

  “I’m Heaven.”

  Shay smiled at her and giggled at the same time.

  “I know. Hold up one minute.” She answered her cell phone greeting whoever was on the other end as a ‘bitch’, but obviously in a friendly tone. This gave Heaven time to study her. Shay was a pretty light skin girl with a thick body that she hid in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She had on fresh Jordan’s and designer shades and by the whip she was pushing; Heaven could tell she had some bank. Although many of her aspects like her tone, her gestures, and her posture were all feminine, Heaven could tell she was a little ghetto and sort of a tomboy.

  Heaven wondered if she had ever been with Khalil, or worse if she had ever been with G. When Shay hung up the phone she studied Heaven openly.

  “Aww you’re adorable,” Shay cooed. “Look at your pretty skin. Why you got your face all covered up, take that hat off.” Before Heaven could protest, Shay snatched Heaven’s hat off and brushed the hair out of her face, all the while still driving.

  “Hey, you should watch the road,” Heaven said playfully, giggling.

  “Shit, they better watch me.” They both laughed and Heaven turned to face Shay and waited for the gasp of how horrible her eye looked. At first it didn’t come, but then.

  “Oh my god!” There it was. “You’re eyes, they are so pretty! They’re so different, like dark honey or something.” Heaven was confused as hell. She finally responded after sitting back in her seat.

  “Yeah dark honey, with a ring of black around one.”

  Shay sucked her teeth.

  “Heaven, it’s not even that bad. Aint nothing that a little MAC won’t fix.” Heaven scrunched up her face.

  “A little what?” Heaven asked as Shay laughed good-naturedly.

  “MAC, girl! Make up! Here, put this on,” Shay said, handing Heaven a tube of sparkly lip-gloss. “And put these on too.”

  She handed her some dark Christian Dior shades. Heaven put on both items and took a look in the mirror as Shay commented.

  “See, you look nice. And you get to show off that pretty hair and face.”

  Heaven smiled, pushed the mirror back up, and looked out of the window as they pulled onto Route 22 and headed to Short Hills Mall. For once Heaven was experiencing what just kicking it with her girlfriends would feel like, fun and free.

  The girls looked through racks at Nieman Marcus as Shay grabbed several things at a time putting them on her arm. Heaven looked around wondering what to do; she had never been to a mall like this. Most of the stuff was things she would never wear and when she did pick up something that she liked, the price tag made her put that shit right back down.

  “Why is everything so expensive?” Heaven asked, putting another item back on the rack. Shay answered her while picking up a bright printed silk halter.

  “Don’t worry about the price, if you see something you like, try it on.” Heaven looked at her like she was slow.

  “I have to worry about price, I don’t have a job.”

  “Honey, this is a shopping trip on Khalil. Enjoy,” Shay told her, while handing her Khalil’s credit card. Heaven slowly took the card.

  “Yeah but Shay, I can’t go spending up all his money. Then next thing you know he get mad and go and beat me.”

  Shay looked up at Heaven and asked her seriously. “Is that what happened to your eye?” Heaven continued looking through the racks and didn’t answer, but Shay didn’t really expect her to. Heaven decided to change the subject as she picked up a plain white top.

  “You gonna try all those on?”

  Shay held at least twenty things on her arm.

  “No. You are.” And with that, Shay grabbed Heaven and they headed to the dressing rooms.

  The girls moved from Nieman’s to Cache to DKNY and finally landed in Bebe where Shay urged Heaven to try on the outfit on the mannequin. It was a sexy white silk halter paired with a black, high-waist, pencil skirt that fit Heaven like a glove.

  “Unh- unh Shay, this skirt makes my ass look huge.” Shay smirke
d deviously.

  “I know girl, that outfit is perfect! Khalil is gonna go crazy when he sees you in this!” Heaven looked in the mirror and did a slow spin.

  “Yeah tell me about it.” Shay noticed Heaven’s worry.

  “Girl don’t worry about it. If you want we can look for something else but I think you look nice. And its classy, not too dressed up, but sexy. Here put this on with it.” Shay handed Heaven a big black patent leather belt. Once Heaven put the belt tight around her waist she knew she had to get the outfit, she did look good. They went and got matching shoes from Charles David and got a couple of extra things from Diesel and Dior. Shay even took Heaven to MAC and got her the perfect concealer that made the black eye disappear on top of a bronzer, mascara, eyeliner, a light shadow, and several glosses. As the lady at MAC rang up the order, Heaven reached for the credit card again. Shay stopped her.

  “Nah girl, this is on me.” Heaven smiled, she liked Shay a lot. She hoped that they could be friends.

  “Are you coming to Atlantic City too?” Shay took the little black bag and turned to Heaven.

  “Of course, I aint missing that fight for nothing.” They walked out of the store and strolled. Heaven hesitated and then finally asked.