Heaven's Hell

by Takerra, Allen

  For the next two weeks Heaven recovered and stayed on top of her studies. By the time she returned to school, she felt like a new girl. The weather was nice, the sun was shining, her body was rejuvenated, and although she was returning to this hell hole and she hadn’t heard anything from, of, or about G since she saw him at the hospital, she still felt a newfound strength. She had began reading a new kind of book by Kimora Lee Simmons called Fabulosity: What it is and how to get it, and although she thought it was more for entertainment when Shay first brought it to her, it ended up being a really good read. It gave Heaven a new hope, a new confidence, and it made her start to strategize the rest of her life. Although she was in a fucked up predicament, she wouldn’t be for long, she was smart, she was beautiful, and she was young. She had her whole life ahead of her and she too could take the world by storm and change her destiny like Kimora Lee had done.

  Plus Khalil had been gone a lot lately, leaving Heaven alone so much that she actually was able to feel some independence. She would sometimes play her music and open the windows while she cleaned, imagining that she lived alone. Other nights she would burn candles and take long baths as she would read more quotes from different books that gave her empowerment. She had even taken one thousand dollars from the $5,400 that she won in AC with G, and bought herself a couple of new clothing items on top of what Shay had gotten her. That Monday when she returned to school, Heaven even exuded some confidence in her walk and posture, and although it wasn’t blatant, it was definitely a difference. For the first time in a long time, Heaven didn’t take the long way to third period; she walked right past Shaniqua and even made eye contact with her. Shaniqua however, dropped her head and turned in the other direction.

  “What’s up Heaven?” She heard a male’s voice ask. She closed her locker and found Ricky standing there, looking finer than ever. He may have been an asshole, but he was still fine.

  “Nothing much,” she answered, being short and turning on her heels to head to her Gym class.

  “Can I walk with you or do you still hate me?” She turned to face him, looking him straight in the eyes.

  “Ricky, I don’t hate you. Hating you would require giving too much energy to even thinking about you, and truthfully I don’t give a shit about you.” She turned back around and continued walking, throwing Ricky off for a minute before he snapped out of it and tried to catch up to her.

  “Yo, yo Heaven. I said I was sorry. You tripping, why you acting like that?”

  “Acting like what?” She responded, still not turning around.

  “Like this. All tough and shit.” She rolled her eyes as she slowed her pace a little.

  “Ricky, what do you want from me?” She asked sincerely. He mumbled something that couldn’t be heard over the noisy hallway.

  “What?” She asked loudly, still not turning around to look at him. Ricky took a deep breath and repeated louder, almost screaming.

  “I said I want another chance!” People in the hallways halted, including Heaven, and they all looked at Ricky who was clearly embarrassed. Heaven giggled a little, as his friends openly laughed at him. He continued.

  “Heaven, I know you’re mad at me. And I’m really sorry for telling something that you trusted me with, but I swear I only told one person that I thought I could trust. Please, I just wanna be ya friend again.” Just when Heaven was about to shut him down, she had an even better idea. She was going to use Ricky’s guilt to her benefit. Plus, today was a new day and although he had hurt her, Heaven was genuinely a forgiving person.

  She stared at him long and hard before answering, and then she finally did with a grin.

  “Okay, okay. We can be friends. Can I go to class now?” He smiled in approval, as she turned around and headed for the gym. He watched her until she turned the corner and went inside the girls’ locker room, all the while thinking of how he wouldn’t mess up this time. Heaven was going to be his.

  “Jacy!” Ms. Simmons shouted in the large gymnasium. Everyone remained stoned faced as they watched Ms. Simmons walk up to Heaven and face her. “You’ve missed a whole lot and I’m not gonna slow up my class or put them behind because of you. You can partner up with Childs and she can fill you in.” Heaven stood confused wondering who Ms. Simmons was talking about. Besides the fact that Heaven hardly knew anyone in her Gym class, Ms. Simmons insisted on using last names to identify her students, which left Heaven even more in the dark. Heaven looked around and noticed a pretty dark-skinned girl smiling at her. She figured that was “Childs”.

  After the warm ups, the girl made her way up to Heaven and they introduced themselves. “I’m Toy. But you know, everyone calls me Childs.” The girls shared a laugh and Heaven could immediately tell that Toy was a joker. She was really pretty, with flawless chocolate skin like Taral Hicks or Naomi Campbell. She had dark eyes and dark hair and she was taller than Heaven with a nice build but a little on the slimmer side. Heaven had seen Toy before in her class but never really throughout the school. They never spoke before today, but realistically, Heaven hadn’t spoken to a lot of people, so that was nothing new. Toy let her know that they had been doing Volleyball, but since there were so many people in the gym, if you didn’t make it on one of the two teams, you had to walk around the gym until the end of the period. Heaven and Toy purposely stood in the back of the line so they weren’t picked for either teams and they spent the rest of the period walking around the gym and talking.

  “So why weren’t you here for so long, if you don’t mind me asking? I mean if it was a death or something, you don’t gotta talk about it, girl.” Heaven picked up on Toy’s thick New York accent.

  “Well, I was suspended at first… and then I had some family problems.”

  “Oh,” Toy nodded. Heaven changed the subject.

  “Are you a model or something? You’re so pretty, and so tall.” Toy laughed, she had always been complimented on being tall and pretty. However, it was always ‘yo, you’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl’, never a straight compliment.

  “No, I’m not a model, girl I wish! Only modeling I do is up and down Broad Street to and from work, girl.” Heaven noticed that Toy said ‘girl’ in almost every sentence. Shay did that sometimes, and Heaven thought that it was so cute.

  “Where do you work?” Heaven asked, wishing that Khalil would let her get a job.

  “Me?” Toy asked, emphasizing her words with her right hand against her chest. “I work at Shiny Sudz Car Wash right downtown. Girl I be having mad fun up there, mad dudes, ballas girl, with mad bank. Plus the money is not that bad, and mad dudes be tipping. Girl, you should come work up there!” She added this as if she was just coming to some prophetic realization. Heaven shook her head no while smiling politely wishing that she could. Khalil would not go for it at all, especially a place with so many guys present on the daily. Heaven would love to take Toy up on the offer though, especially being that she seemed so cool and on top of that, Heaven could stack up some money for school, maybe to get a car, or even better an apartment! Plus she had found a new hobby courtesy of Shay that she enjoyed a little more than she could afford, shopping!

  “I can’t Toy. It sounds fun though, but I’m just trying to focus on school right now,” Heaven lied, but then she added some truth. “Plus, my boyfriend.”

  “What? He jealous or something?” Toy asked, as if she already knew, but really, she had no idea.

  “Girl, you have no idea,” Heaven answered, using her new found word on her new found friend as the bell sounded and the girls headed to the locker room.

  As they changed in the locker room, Heaven noticed that Toy was dipped from head to toe. Every piece of clothing that she put on her perfectly lean frame was not only designer labeled, but fly. Heaven admired her low-rise Citizen jeans and Gucci sneaker get up, along with her over the top, round the way girl jewelry collection that included humongous bamboo earrings reading Toy-Toy, numerous gold and diamond specked bangles, and a large nameplate that read ‘Young
-J and Toy’. She looked like she had taken a time capsule from 1987. Heaven figured she shouldn’t stare so she started their conversation back up.

  “So, is Young-J your boyfriend?” Heaven asked. Toy threw her gym clothes in the locker and slammed it shut. Both her and Heaven applied lip-gloss as they made their way out of the locker room.

  “No, but he’s the one picking me up today so, gotta wear this. Tomorrow, I’ll be rocking Dolla’s, girl.” Heaven laughed mouth open, imagining how exciting that must be, and scary. The girls stopped in the middle of the hallway.

  “So wait, where’s ya next class?” Toy asked, with her potent New York accent.

  “Oh, it’s upstairs… yours?” Heaven responded. Toy sucked her teeth.

  “Damn, mine is down here. But anyway, let me get your number girl. You cool as shit.” Heaven read off her number and took Toy’s down. As they said their good-byes Toy turned around abruptly.

  “Oh wait! I almost forgot. I’m having a party Friday at this club up in Newark. Girl, it’s gonna be crazy! It’s gonna be mad dudes, rocking DJ, all that. My sister hooked it up for me cause it’s usually 21 and over, but she told them it was gonna be like college kids and stuff.”

  “Yea but I’m not even 18 yet,” Heaven added, knowing that she wasn’t going to any party.

  “It don’t matter, if I put you on the guestlist, you don’t gotta show i.d. or nothing, my sister gonna be at the door. Here,” Toy said, handing Heaven her blackberry. “Spell out ya full name and whoever else you wanna bring. I don’t know if you wanna bring ya man… who you be with?” Heaven shrugged as if to say’ no one’. But then she thought about it.

  “Well I have my girl Shay, but she’s older.”

  “Bring her!” Toy exclaimed, taking the blackberry and typing ‘Shay’. “What’s her last name? She from Plainfield?” Heaven thought for a minute but then realized she didn’t know.

  “Toy, I don’t even know. You know what, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it… we’ll come to the next one,” Heaven added, trying to keep Toy from knowing that she completely didn’t have a life.

  “No, it’s no biggie Heaven. I’ll just put Shay and tell my sister. Girl, it’s gonna be fly, you do not wanna miss this jumpoff.” Before Heaven could protest, Toy was turned around and strutting down the hallway, bamboo earrings jingling like L.L. sang it.

  Heaven stepped outside in the sunshine and looked around at all of the cars, realizing that Khalil was nowhere in sight. What? Khalil late to pick me up? Heaven secretly hoped that something terrible had happened to him. In a perfect world, he’d be dead and Heaven would be on her own, she only wished.

  “Heaven! Come here!” She heard a female voice yell. She searched around and noticed Toy in the passenger seat of a tricked out shiny black F-150 pick up with rims bigger than Heaven had ever seen. Heaven walked over to the truck after looking around once again for Khalil.

  “You need a ride girl?” Toy asked, without even checking with the sexy brown-skinned boy in the driver’s seat. Heaven quickly questioned in her mind why Toy would want to deal with anyone other than him, he was no G, but he was sexy.

  “No, my boyfriend should be here any minute. Thank you though,” Heaven added, addressing Toy and the driver.

  “Oh, my bad. Heaven this is Young-J, Young, baby, this is my girl Heaven.” He nodded and Heaven waved. “Okay then girl, I’ll see you later.” Heaven watched as Toy put on some dark shades and they sped off out of the parking lot. Heaven imagined herself doing the same with G. However she was snatched out of her daydream by the sight of Khalil sitting in his truck staring at her. She hadn’t even seen him pull up. She walked over and hopped in his truck hoping that he was in an okay mood. Before she could even get the door shut, he pushed her hard out of the truck causing her to fall flat on her face. Onlookers giggled but most were just shocked. A few people asked her if she was okay, while others screamed out ‘no he didn’t!’ and ‘that aint right!’ Heaven stumbled up as she brushed off dirt and looked down at her scraped knee.

  “Why’d you do that?” Heaven screamed out, angry, and hurt, and embarrassed, and truly confused all at once. Khalil jumped out of the truck and stormed around to where she stood.

  “You really be trying to fuck wit’ me Heaven? I don’t know what the fuck you be thinking? Got me waiting here for you and you up at some other nigga truck, smiling in his face and shit like a little fucking groupie!” Heaven dropped her mouth appalled.

  “Khalil, my friend Toy was in the car with him. She called me over,” she protested.

  “Who the fuck is Toy, Heaven? I never heard of no fucking Toy! You just trying to play me!” Khalil took his right hand and palmed Heaven’s face, mushing her hard and causing her to stumble back, almost falling again. When she regained her balance she saw Ricky rush up to Khalil and push him hard. His last two years as the football team’s quarterback sent Khalil stumbling as she had just done.

  “Yo, leave her alone nigga!” Ricky ordered. Before Khalil could retaliate, school security was there breaking everything up. Khalil managed to get out of the old security guard’s grip and was able to jump back in his truck and take off while screaming out “Walk home bitch, and you better be there in an hour!”

  Heaven ran away from the whole scene back into the school, straight to the girls’ bathroom. She just wanted to wait until everyone was gone to come back out. It seemed that whenever something good happened it was always followed by something really, really bad. She contemplated running away, but where would she go? She had to finish school, she was still a minor, and if anyone ever found her, it would be back to her father, who would either send her back to Khalil or take her through his own motions. She threw water on her face and looked in the mirror. Heaven you made it through all of these years, only five more months. You can do this.

  She walked back out into the hallway and found Ricky standing there.

  “You alright?” He asked.

  “Yea, thanks,” Heaven answered. Although he had helped her, Heaven still didn’t trust Ricky. She didn’t feel as comfortable as she used to around him, plus he didn’t realize that he had actually made her situation worse. Khalil would definitely want to know who the young boy was that came to her defense.

  “Listen, I have detention but if you want, I can take you home, if you feel like waiting.” Ricky prayed that she would say yes but she declined and he could tell that there was still distance between them. He figured he’d just give her time.

  “Alright Hev, call me if you need anything. I’m serious.” She smiled, and they went their separate ways as she made her way to Khalil’s on foot.

  She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Shay filling her in on the day’s events. Shay just listened with open ears as Heaven poured out all of the details about the incident with Khalil, her new friend Toy and the party, and even how bad she wanted to work with Toy at the car wash. Shay offered her straight advice as she always did.

  “Heaven listen. The way I look at it is you already getting your ass beat for no reason. It seems like any little thing sends Khalil over the top. I mean if I was you I would have been out, I wouldn’t care where I went. But I understand you trying to stick it out until you go to college. With that being said girl, don’t worry about Khalil. You going to that party, cause I’m going to that party, alright? I heard about that party and if Toy’s sister is who I think she is, that party is going to be banging!” Heaven laughed at Shay.

  “How did you hear about it Shay? Toy is in high school.”

  “Yea well, I know Toy’s sister. And it may be a party for Toy, but her sister gonna have all types of niggas coming through there, all the big dicks.” Heaven became excited, hoping that meant that G would be present.

  “Yea that’s what she told me, she said it was going to be a jumpoff,” Heaven added, using Toy’s words.

  “It is. But anyway, I’ll handle Khalil with that one. As far as working. Heaven, if it weren’t such a risk I’d tell you to do it. Bu
t mama, I don’t want you to get hurt messing around with Khalil. I mean little parties here and there is cool, but how will you pull off having a job that you go to everyday? Let’s just concentrate on the party.”

  “Okay girl,” Heaven answered. Shay laughed at her.

  “What you mean ‘okay girl’. Look at you!” Shay laughed. The girls talked all the way until Heaven reached Khalil’s door.

  “Okay Shay, I gotta go now. You sure you gonna be able to get me to go to the party?” Heaven asked skeptically, talking low in a hushed whisper.

  “Yes Heaven, I’m sure. I’ll talk to you later. See you Friday.”

  “See you Friday girl.” Heaven responded, and then she turned off her cell phone and walked into Khalil’s apartment ready for round two.

  …Prince Charming…

  “How do you know G?” Heaven asked, face scrunched up in puzzlement, as she watched Toy get ready for her party. Heaven wasn’t sure how Shay had done it, but she had convinced Khalil that she and Heaven were having a girls’ night at her house because of everything that had been going on with her. Shay had even convinced him to let Heaven spend the night. Khalil must have felt bad about locking Heaven in the closet for two hours after the whole incident outside of the high school, because he agreed with no hesitation. Heaven was able to dress and go to Toy’s house as soon as Khalil was out of the door to his bar and Shay was going to come pick her up from there. Toy was going to ride with her sister. Ever since the shooting with her mother, Khalil never dropped Heaven off at her father’s house on Fridays anymore, so Friday nights were usually Heaven’s alone time anyway, that was probably another reason he agreed. Toy rolled her head around and looked Heaven up and down with a mocking attitude.