Heaven's Hell

by Takerra, Allen

Heaven had heard G on the phone with Sonia and had tip toed back to the bedroom before he hung up. She knew G wasn’t hers, and she knew she would be stupid to think that she was the only one, especially with her being in her own situation. She wondered if that was the same girl she had heard in the background, the night she called him from her parents’ house. She wondered how serious they were. Her mind wandered to thoughts of him touching her and kissing her and licking her the way he had just done to Heaven. The thought of him missing her made Heaven uneasy. She climbed into the bed and turned off the light, staring at the ceiling through the darkness.

  Yeah, she thought to herself. He’s gonna hurt me. It was time for Heaven to throw the guard up.

  The next few days Heaven was distant with G. She tried not to be, but with her age, came immaturity, especially being that she had never been in a situation where she felt so strong about a man before. She answered him shortly, and insinuated little conversation, causing G to begin to back off. He asked her several times what was wrong, and she always said the same thing, ‘nothing’. She didn’t seem to want to be sexual with him, and G wasn’t the type to push a female into anything. He hardly ever initiated it in the first place. So their days were spent basically as two people in the same house, in their own separate little worlds. G felt defeated, once again, he felt like he was losing interest. By the end of the week, Heaven was at his house, reading a book from his abundant collection, and G was with Sonia, at his loft. It wasn’t that he actually wanted Sonia over Heaven, it wasn’t even as if he missed Sonia at all, but G’s way of dealing with a problem with one female, was to occupy himself with another. Although the sex was meaningless, however eventful, G felt a little fucked up.

  “Where you going?” Sonia asked, after G had sprinkled his love juice all over her back, ran into the bathroom to shower, and now was re-dressing.

  There was a delay to his answer.

  “I’m going home.”

  “Home?” She asked, confused. Her mind raced. “Isn’t this home?”

  G realized he had revealed more than he would have liked, so he just remained silent and continued to dress. Sonia continued to question him with a little fret in her voice.

  “What, you married or something? That’s why you’re always so unavailable, huh?” She added like she had cracked the code.

  G answered her without looking up.

  “Nah. I’m not married.”

  But Sonia felt he was lying. She slowly dressed once again feeling used. Her feelings for G were growing more and more by the minute. She had tried to not get caught up in him, but she couldn’t help it. G oozed a sexy confidence that made a girl foolish if she didn’t try to lock him down. He dropped her off home and after giving him a long kiss that she was sure to have him craving more; she stepped out of his car and watched him pull off. She felt puzzled.

  When G walked into the house in the middle of the night, Heaven was laid on his couch sleeping peacefully. A feeling of guilt rushed over him. He walked over to her and gently removed the reading glasses from her face that he had gotten her. Then he covered her with a blanket and brushed the hair from her cheek, kissing her gently on the forehead.

  “What’s wrong with you?” He whispered. He watched her for a few moments realizing that his feelings for Heaven were still there. She was the most precious thing he had ever seen. He turned off the television and set every alarm in the house. After giving Heaven one final look, he then headed upstairs, feeling just as perplexed as he had left Sonia.

  The next day at school was different for Heaven. She felt as though she had been away forever.

  For some reason she didn’t see Toy barely all day, and the one time that she did see her, it seemed to Heaven as if Toy had looked her way and turned in the opposite direction. Maybe she didn’t see me, Heaven reassured herself. However, she knew something was different.

  The day seemed to drag and with the end of the school year approaching, there was little to no work for Heaven to do. This made the minutes go by like hours for her.

  By lunch time Heaven was ready for the day to be over and to see G again. Although she was still angry about the whole Sonia phone call incident, she enjoyed being around him. Even though the past few days she hadn’t showed it. She had made up her mind that she would just talk to him about the way she was feeling. As soon as the final bell sounded, Heaven ran out of the doors smiling, ready to see him, and bumped hard into someone.

  “I’m sorry,” she stammered, but was cut short by shock.

  “Hey babygirl.”

  Heaven’s heart went to her throat.

  “What are you doing here?” She asked, feeling like her breath was taken from her, and all of a sudden feeling a rush of fear.

  “What do you think I’m doing? I’m here to pick you up like I always do.”

  Khalil was standing there in front of Heaven, dressed in the same clothes he was locked up in, smelling in desperate need of a shower. But there he was, in the flesh.

  Heaven couldn’t think fast enough, she searched quickly for G’s car but saw nothing. She was trembling. She figured she would stall time before getting into his car, the last thing she wanted was to go with Khalil, but somehow she felt obligated. Her fun was over.

  “When, how, did you get out?” She stuttered.

  Khalil sensed her alarm and could also tell that she was not happy to see him. He saw her eyes darting over everywhere in search of something and followed them trying to see what or who she was looking for.

  “Well, there was a lot of bullshit with everything. They weren’t even supposed to run in on me like that, and on top of it, Sam has been M.I.A. and no one knows where he is, so he didn’t show up to court for the hearing. They let me go.” Heaven quickly wondered where her father was but snapped back to the present reality, Khalil was here to take her. He grabbed her by the arm and began pulling her toward the truck.

  “C’mon Heaven. What you standing there for? It’s been two weeks and you know what I need. I missed you so much baby.” He went to give her a kiss, but Heaven pulled away in instant disgust, causing Khalil to become angry. In the past two weeks, Heaven felt as if she had grown into a completely different person, but Khalil, was still there, and still the same Khalil. He raised his hand in rage, but was thrown off to follow through by the sight of G walking up to them.

  “What’s up?” G asked, trying to feel the situation out and not really prepared to see Khalil. But showing that he was thrown off, was never in G’s nature.

  Khalil however, wore his confusion all over his face.

  “Yo G, what’s up man? What you doing here?”

  Heaven swallowed hard and looked at G, not sure what he was going to say.

  “I came to pick up Heaven. You ready?” He asked, turning to her.

  Khalil looked back and forth at them like they had some explaining to do, but G looked at him as if there was nothing wrong with what he had said.

  “Heaven? Why would you be picking up Heaven?”

  G flinched his jaw in anger; he didn’t like niggas questioning him. Before he could answer, Heaven did, not wanting any trouble.

  “Well, I’ve been staying with Shay and G has been coming to pick me up and drop me off. They both have been looking out for me.”

  G looked at her like she was crazy, but little did he know, Heaven was just trying to keep the peace. Khalil could tell there was more to the story and he planned on beating it out of Heaven the second they got home. But for now, he would play it cool. He was angry, but he wasn’t stupid. A problem with G was something he did not want.

  “Alright, well good looking out, G. Tell Shay I said the same, but I think I got it from here.” He grabbed her arm again. “Let’s go Heaven.”

  They all three stayed stagnated, and G was about to say ‘fuck it’ and leave. If she had to lie to him, she obviously still wanted to be with him. But something in him kept him there, standing. Waiting on her. Heaven stumbled on a response.

  “I, um
. I actually want to go with G, Khalil.”

  Khalil’s face twisted in anger and hurt. He began feeling scared at the fact that over two weeks, Heaven’s fear of him had seemed to diminish. Worst of all, he was feeling like this was the end, and at this moment, there was nothing he could really do about it. He couldn’t lose her though.

  “What?” He asked her. “Have you lost your mind?”

  Heaven just looked at him, and then to G, who gave her a slight nod, assuring her that he had her. Everything was going to be okay. She took a deep breath, straightened her back, and proceeded.

  “Khalil, listen. I’m sorry, but.”

  Khalil’s eyes widened at the sound of the ‘but’. He braced himself for what she was about to say.

  “I don’t want to go home with you.”

  Khalil’s heart began to race. He spoke slowly, trying to remain calm. Inside, he felt like going crazy.

  “So, if you don’t come home with me today, when do you plan on coming home, Heaven?”

  She looked at him before dropping her head. And then she looked up at G and prayed that she was making the right decision. Different things raced through her mind. Saint Tropez, the conversation she had heard with Sonia, Khalil’s beatings, her parents, the way she felt with Khalil, the way she felt with G. Although Khalil hurt her physically, he could never hurt her heart, because he didn’t have it. But G, G owned it, and that scared her. What if he didn’t even want her, what would she do? Where would she go?

  “Khalil. I-I thank you for everything you’ve done…like taking me from that house… and I know we’ve been together a long time. But I just think I’m young, and I, I think I need space…. I want some space. I want to live my life.”

  There was a long silence and Khalil nodded slowly. Then, out of nowhere, he lost it. He grabbed her roughly by the arm, damn near popping it out of the socket, and pulled her hard to him.

  “Bitch is you crazy? You think you can just leave me! Get ya fucking ass in the truck!”

  Khalil didn’t know what hit him, but he had an idea of who. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground looking up at the sky, eye throbbing and head dazed, feeling like he was going in and out of consciousness.

  “Heaven, get in the car,” G ordered. She stood still in shock, looking down at Khalil’s bloody face. “Get in the car Heaven. Now.”

  She moved her feet quickly in response to the bass in his voice. G leaned down to Khalil, knowing that he may had gone too far, but it was too late. The shit had played out like that and there was no way he could sit back and let her go home with him, and he definitely couldn’t sit back and let him disrespect her in front of his face.

  “Nigga, fuck did I tell you about putting ya hands on a fucking female?”

  Khalil didn’t answer; he just looked up at G cowardly, so G continued. “Now, if she saying it’s over, let her fucking go. Get the fuck up and get in ya truck and take ya ass home,” G demanded.

  Khalil tried to pull himself up but felt dizzy, so he laid his head back down for a moment. He could feel tears coming in his eyes. He couldn’t imagine his life without Heaven, not even for one night. He felt sick to his stomach.

  G looked down at him and then turned around and walked back to his car, getting in the driver’s seat and pulling off, leaving Khalil there in physical and emotional pain.

  As they drove, it was silent, with only a rap mixtape playing on G’s car radio. Swiftly, G turned off the music and turned to Heaven when they reached a red light. He had a look Heaven hadn’t seen before, very, very serious.

  “Yo, what was all that about back there? You lying to him and shit, telling him you were staying with Shay…and then you been acting crazy as hell since we got back from vacation. What’s up with you Heaven?”

  Heaven had known that she wanted to have this conversation, but now that it was here, she felt like running from it. She said the first thing that came to mind.

  “Nothing, G. Nothing’s wrong with me. I only told him that to keep there from being any problems between the two of you. I know you guys do business together, and I didn’t want to get in the middle of it. I’ve been enough trouble to you, I didn’t want to be anymore.” She remembered hearing G tell Sonia that he missed her and added with slight attitude. “And if you want to take me to Shay’s you can. If it’s okay with her.”

  G twisted his face up in confusion.

  “I just knocked a nigga out, that I do business with, in front of a high school. And I drove off with a minor, a fucking runaway minor! And you telling me you don’t want to be anymore trouble? And now you want to go to Shay’s?” G was infuriated. He shook his head and ran his tongue along his jaw. Then he did a quick u-turn in the middle of a busy four-lane street. Heaven had never seen this side to him before. It scared her and excited her all at once.

  Heaven remembered feeling like she wanted to talk to him about this and she really didn’t want to go to Shay’s, but she also didn’t want to impose on G and his life. She wanted him to want her to be there, not to feel like she had to be.

  They rode in uncomfortable silence and pulled in front of Shay’s house. She was sitting on the porch with a cordless phone in her hand. She looked up at G and Heaven sitting in his Porsche truck and from the look in their faces, neither of them were happy. Last she had heard from Loc, G was whisking Heaven away on some romantic getaway to Saint Tropez, and they were having the time of their lives. That didn’t appear to be the case right now. She walked over to the truck and tapped on Heaven’s passenger side window.

  “Hey, let me call you back okay,” she said, hanging up as Heaven rolled down the window.

  “Hey, Hev. What’s up babygirl?” She asked curiously, trying to get a sense of what was going on.

  “Hey, Shay. Can I stay here with you?”

  Shay was taken back by the request. She looked at G baffled but G kept his focus straight ahead. At this point, he kind of wanted Heaven out of his car. He didn’t understand what was going on with her. Shay stammered on a response.

  “Uh, yeah, sure. What happened, Heaven?”

  Heaven began to explain, or at least tried, but then her voice began to crack and tears were falling from her eyes. Her little mind and heart were experiencing all types of emotions, and she really didn’t want to leave G. She just wanted to tell him how bad it hurt her to give him her heart and her body, and then to hear him say he missed someone else. And then for him to bring to her attention how difficult she had made things for him. It hurt.

  “Shay, I just…. I just really need. I don’t know.”

  Heaven held her head down and cried and Shay just looked at her worried, even G stubbornly broke away from his trance and looked at her. He didn’t want to see her hurt.

  “Well, just c’mon Heaven. Come inside.” Shay opened Heaven’s car door and grabbed Heaven lightly by her right arm, but G grabbed her left one and looked at Shay.

  “Shay, just give us a minute.”

  Shay looked at Heaven, who glanced back assuringly, so she closed the car door and walked back over to her porch. Heaven wiped her face with her hands and looked over at G, feeling stupid, and embarrassed.

  G reclined his seat in an effort to let her know he was ready to talk, and Heaven turned to him and figured she would just tell him how she felt. She swallowed hard and chose her words carefully.

  “G, I like you. I really do. And I think that you like me. And I know I’m not the only girl that you’re with, but I just felt like, the vacation…. I mean, I felt like the vacation meant more to me than it did to you.”

  G looked at her perplexed trying to comprehend what she was saying.

  “And why would you feel like that?”

  Heaven took a deep breath.

  “Because G. I heard you tell that girl that you missed her. The same day that we got back, and it hurt my feelings. I know I haven’t handled that the best way, and you are entitled to feel however you feel, about anyone you want, because I know that we are not together. But
, I had given you something. I had given you something that was always taken from me, and it was really special to me.”

  G understood now, and he silently cursed himself for even telling Sonia something that he never even meant in the first place. The thought never occurred to him that Heaven had heard that conversation. In fact, he had forgotten all about that conversation. He studied Heaven’s sweet face, watery eyes and all.

  “No babygirl,” he comforted her, stroking her cheek. “It was special to me too. And I’m sorry you heard that. But trust me, there’s nothing there with her. My feelings lie with you Heaven, and I hope you can believe that.”

  She stared in his eyes and had a feeling that he was telling the truth. And if he wasn’t, she didn’t want to believe that right now. She just wanted things between them back to the way they were these prior weeks.

  She nodded and cracked a smile and G leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. He then rolled down the passenger window and called Shay over to the car.

  “What’s up? Everything alright over here?” Shay asked, seeing that the two had obviously fixed whatever issue they were having.

  Heaven smiled.

  “Yeah, everything’s okay. Thanks Shay… um. I think I’m gonna go home with G.”

  Shay smirked at them and G grinned back at her.

  “Alright then, I guess I’ll holla at yall later.”

  “Later ma,” G shot back, and pulled off into the traffic, taking a right at the corner and off of Shay’s street.

  Shay picked up her phone and dialed who she was previously talking to, ready to pick up where she left off and resume her plans. After two rings, he answered.