An Inconvenient Marriage

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “My parents still live here. They tell me what is going on.”

  “I see. So, they told you about Mr. Mitchell’s marriage and his wife.”

  “Right. I’m here to gather more information from the women at the luncheon. They should know the details better than my parents. I hear that Carrie Monroe is the wife of Jake’s closest friend, Justin, so she should know the most about what Jake is like now. Belinda Hawke is here and she is Sue’s closest friend from childhood. They should be the best two people to go to about this.”

  “It sounds like you have everything carefully planned out.” And it’s completely wrong.

  “I have to be careful. I expect that there will be some resistance when I finally see Jake.”

  “Really? Why is that?”

  “I was engaged to him at one time but for some reason, he got cold feet and called off the wedding at the last minute. But that was many years ago. He’s obviously willing to get married now.”

  Sue forced herself not to show any reaction. So this is Johanna Clarke. She took a deep breath to calm down. “So, you’re sure that you would be better for him than Sue Lewis?”

  “Well, I am clearly more feminine and attractive. My looks charm lots of men. Certainly, you know the power good looks have over a man. You’re a decent looking woman.”

  “Who knows? I might even be Mr. Mitchell’s type.”

  The woman laughed. “As nice as you are, I seriously doubt that.”

  “Why?” Sue noted that her irritation was beginning to show in her voice despite her best effort to remain pleasant.

  “Well, though you are appropriately dressed, your mannerisms is not that of the wealthy class. I suspect, from looking at you, that you manage quite well financially and may even have a few respectable friends. However, you don’t have the proper upbringing for the duties that befall his current status. There are dinner parties to go to and guests to entertain. You have to know how to socialize. Also, you may look feminine but you act masculine. You bang on locked doors and yell. You just dropped that box of books on the table instead of gently placing it down. You’re crossing your arms and you speak too loud. A true lady has refined manners. These are things that will impress people. A man in Jake’s position will clearly want a wife who possesses the more feminine qualities his peers will expect her to exhibit.”

  “Then that Sue Lewis woman must be shameful. One has to wonder how he can bear to be seen in public with her.”

  “Oh, he was always a little soft. He had a rough childhood. His mother didn’t have a lot of money, so he had to work his way up to the wealth he currently possesses. I suppose he felt pity for Sue and decided to help her out. His mother almost lost their home when his father left, so I think he recalled that experience when Sue Lewis gave him the sob story about her family almost being foreclosed on.”

  “Apparently, he’s very good to those he pities.”

  “I wouldn't know. I just got here yesterday. I will find out what Sue Lewis is like and what he’s done for her during this luncheon.”

  “Did Mrs. Monroe invite you to this luncheon?”

  “Actually, she did. I was on my way to Jake’s new bank when she met me on the street. She said that it would be a good idea to get the inside story on how to win him over before I saw him.”

  That doesn’t sound like something Mrs. Monroe would do. I thought she was happy that Jake and I were married. Sue pushed aside her hurt feelings and said, “That’s very kind of her.”

  “I was surprised. It’s not like we ever got along or anything, but maybe she’s seen the way Sue Lewis treats him and wants better for him.”

  “And you would treat him better?”

  “I would be the perfect wife. Like I said, I can give anyone a good impression. I won’t ever embarrass him in public. I heard about the wedding, and to be honest, I don’t buy that it was a planned skit the Lewises did. I think those poor people really don’t know any better than to fling food around and let disgusting animals run across the room.”

  “I wonder why he dares to go out to eat with her or dance with her? He would be better off shutting her up in the house.”

  “I’m sure she nags him until he takes her out. Otherwise, no one would want to be around her. What a pitiful creature.”

  “Uh huh.” Sue tensely smiled. “Of course, a poor spinster is nothing more than someone to pity. She couldn’t offer anything of value to a man.”

  “Not really. Why do you think it’s just a business arrangement? Even though he’s soft-hearted, he does have his limits.”

  “What one considers limits, another might call respect. At least, he isn’t using her.”

  The woman lowered her tone as if revealing a secret. “That’s my secret weapon. I’ve been married two times and men need physical intimacy. Since he’s not getting it from her, I can turn on the charm and offer it if he marries me.”

  “He’s managed for thirty-five years without doing it.”

  “Which is why he’ll be that much more vulnerable to me.”

  “I don’t agree with you. I’ve seen him do business, and he keeps a very cool head no matter what situation he’s in. Well, perhaps that wasn’t true with Sue Lewis. He did have to call a guard to throw her out of the bank.”

  The woman cringed. “That’s even more of a reason for him to get rid of her. She must be a real shrew.”

  “She is. She doesn’t let anyone get away with anything.”

  “He can do a lot better.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want to. Maybe there’s something he sees in Sue that he doesn’t see in other women. If you’re here to gather information, I’ll give you some right now. He treats Sue very well. He praises her and treats her like a princess. He’s not only handsome but he’s generous, trustworthy, loyal, fun, and intelligent. He really is the ideal man and I feel sorry for you since you were so wrapped up in money that you missed the real treasure you could have had.”

  “Money is the one thing he was always good at making. Why, he’s quadrupled his net worth over the past thirteen years and with his father’s inheritance, he doubled what he had quadrupled. A woman could live very well off of his income.”

  “Then it’s too bad you’re a depreciating asset.”

  She gasped. “Excuse me?”

  “You may be a beautiful woman who knows how to dress and act like a lady, but you’re only going to get older. Your looks will fade and so will your charm. Then what will be left but a lonely, bitter old woman whose only purpose in life was to rob men of the best years of their life, not to mention their pocketbooks?”

  Johanna jumped up and knocked on the door. “Someone get me out of here!”

  “That’s not how you get someone’s attention. This is how you do it.” She pounded loudly on the door. “Get me out of here before I pull her hair out!”

  “You wouldn’t,” she hissed.

  “Wouldn’t I? I’m the nag who received Jake’s pity.”

  “You’re Sue Lewis?”

  “No. I’m Sue Mitchell, and I guarantee you that we’re not getting an annulment, so you are wasting your time.”

  She looked amused. “You don’t have what it takes to fit in.”

  “That’s not what Jake told me last night.” She decided to let Johanna assume whatever she wanted from that comment. She banged on the door again. She grunted when no one opened it. She turned around and inspected the items in the room. She found a tool box in the corner under the table. She got down on her knees, crawled under the table and grabbed it.

  “Is that your plan to stay with him? You’ll beg for him to keep you around?”

  Sue gasped but managed to stand up with the hammer. “I don’t have to beg. He’s the kind of man who can look past the clothes and fake charm. He can smell a woman who’s after his money a mile away. You don’t have a chance. You’re too desperate. You know what they say in business, ‘never break a sweat.’” She took the hammer and slammed it against the doorknob.

&nb
sp; “Your reputation didn’t do you justice. You’re an even bigger nag and far too masculine for any man.”

  “I may be a nag but at least I love him for who he is and not for what he can give me.”

  “I'll have him again. Your time is running up. You only have five months left.”

  Sue slammed the hammer on the doorknob harder. “I’m trapped in here with a crazy woman. Get me out!” She tried to open the door. The doorknob was a little loose.

  “I’m not crazy.”

  “Anyone who would willingly let a man like Jake go is crazy!” Sue screamed. She banged the doorknob with the hammer again.

  Johanna pulled her away from the door and angrily whispered, “You are making a public spectacle of yourself. Stop it!”

  “Oh. So you don’t like to be embarrassed in public?” Sue raised her voice even more. “It’s too bad for you that I don’t mind attracting the wrong kind of attention. You don’t get the reputation for being a nag without upsetting many people.”

  Johanna pulled on her hair. “I will be the one ripping your hair out if you keep this up. We need to quietly wait for someone to get us.”

  Greatly annoyed, Sue reached up and grabbed Johanna’s hair. Only, Johanna was wearing a wig. Sue stared at the brown wig in shock as Johanna’s hands flew up to her hairnet.

  Suddenly the door flung open. Johanna reached for the wig but Sue ran past Mrs. Monroe who was laughing with the other women. Johanna raced after her.

  Sue stopped by the punch bowl and held the wig over it. “Does this bother you?” She dipped the wig close to the punch. “Oh no! I hope I don’t slip and accidentally drop it.”

  “Give that back!” Johanna demanded as she walked over to Sue.

  The women ran back to the table and watched the scene in amusement.

  “Only if you go back to Chicago because you’re not welcome here. I don’t mind embarrassing you in front of important people.”

  “What’s going on here?” a man called out.

  All the women looked up to see a baffled group of men who had been attending a meeting in a room upstairs. Sue noted that Jake was trying not to laugh. The other men included Mr. Allen, Mr. Monroe, and a few financial administrators at the college.

  “Is this what you were planning?” Justin asked his wife. “This is why you had to have your luncheon here at this time?”

  Sue looked at Mrs. Monroe who shrugged. I've been set up. These women wanted me to let Johanna have it. But why?

  Suddenly, Luke ran into the building, chasing his mouse. A cat and two dogs followed him. Mr. Martin, who volunteered at the animal shelter, was in close pursuit.

  “Luke, what you doing here?” Sue demanded as the boy followed the mouse under the table which was covered with a lacy tablecloth.

  Johanna screamed as the mouse ran over her feet. She jumped back and fell into the cake. Luke followed the mouse onto the table and ran over the neatly placed dishes. He didn’t mind stepping in the food. The cat ran over Johanna and after the mouse while a dog leapt over the punch bowl and snatched the wig out of Sue’s hand. Sue quickly backed up while another dog practically pushed her aside in his efforts to get the cat. Mr. Martin managed to grab one dog and put a leash on him.

  Luke grabbed the mouse and grinned. “I got him!”

  The cat pounced on his chest and dug its claws into his skin.

  He screamed and threw the mouse at Sue who caught it.

  Trevor ran into the building, out of breath. “Sue, Gloria’s in labor. We have to go to the farm!”

  Sue dropped the mouse on a panicking and crying Johanna and ran over to her brother. “She is? When did the labor start?” She heard Luke yell something at Johanna and the men finally moved to action to save what was left of the luncheon while the other women stood by and laughed at the whole scene.

  “I told Luke not to bring his mouse,” Trevor said. “I’m sorry, sis. He insisted on coming along on Trouble. I rode Double Trouble in. Luke saw that man walking the cat and two dogs and jumped off the horse to show the man his mouse. Then I had to chase Trouble down until I got his reins. Both horses are safely tied up at the light posts outside.”

  Sue remained oblivious to the chaos going on behind her.

  She shook her head. “When is Gloria going to have the baby?”

  “Probably tonight. Her water broke an hour ago. I just got the doctor. Her water broke like a gush of water flowing out of a massive hole in a dam. I never saw so much liquid in my entire life. It was strange water too. I never smelled anything like it before. Anyway, Luke happened to be chasing his mouse under her legs when her water broke, and he got drenched. It was like that time when he got stuck in the heavy downpour we had two summers ago and we could wring out all of his clothes...”

  “Put off the writer’s cap for a moment. I don’t want to know all the details.” She shook her head. Trevor could write a book about anything.

  “Alright, bossy.” He rolled his eyes. "She wants you to be there for moral support. She’s scared.”

  Johanna ran past them, clutching her wig to her chest and crying, and left the building.

  Mrs. Monroe came up to Sue. “I’m sorry I planned such a devious thing but no matter what I or the other women told Johanna, she wasn’t willing to leave. So I thought if I put you in a room with her, you would frighten her enough so she would go away. And I hoped that when she saw the men watching, she would be so humiliated, she wouldn’t even consider coming back."

  “That was devious,” Sue agreed, but she smiled as she said it. “Of course, it was funny.”

  She laughed. “I’m glad you have such a great sense of humor.”

  “Really though, why didn’t you warn me that you were going to trap me in there with her?”

  “Would you have gone to that room if you had known?”

  “No.”

  “There’s your answer.”

  “Is that why Mr. Allen came by the library this morning to tell me about her?”

  “Yes, it was. We asked him to tell you about Johanna so that you would be properly motivated to send her running back home.”

  Sue shook her head. “I knew there was no way that so many men would be interested in me all of the sudden.”

  Before Mrs. Monroe had a chance to respond, Luke yelled for help.

  Sue turned around and gasped when she saw Luke dangling from the chandelier. “Luke, how did you get up there?” she demanded.

  “The mouse ran upstairs so I followed him. Then he jumped down to the floor. I didn’t think. I jumped and grabbed onto the chandelier.”

  She rolled her eyes as her brother explained the events. “Only you could get yourself stuck up there.”

  Someone came up behind her and gently touched her shoulder. “I got it.” Jake smiled at her.

  She sighed. “I’m sorry about all of this. I had no idea delivering library books to this luncheon was all a ploy to get me upset enough to send someone running off.”

  “I know. Justin said his wife was up to something but didn’t know what it was until we heard all the commotion and stopped our meeting with Mr. Allen to find out what was going on.”

  She was glad to see he was in a good mood about it.

  He looked up at the scared boy. “On the count of three, let go of the chandelier and I’ll catch you.”

  Luke nodded, and after Jake counted to three, he let go and Jake caught him.

  “We got the mouse,” Justin and Mr. Allen said as they handed the boy the pet that was trapped in a small ball they found from the small supply room. “I think we finally got all the animals under control. Poor Mr. Martin looked so flustered. He doesn’t like so much drama.”

  Sue looked around and noted that the animals were gone, as was Mr. Martin. “He definitely couldn’t handle my family then.”

  “I knew I was doing you a favor when I told you to put that dress on in the library,” Jake said.

  “What?”

  “He was one of the men who was interes
ted in you.”

  She shook her head. That was why he insisted she wear that dress.

  “Luke,” Trevor began as he walked up to them, “Pa is going to throw a fit when he hears about this.”

  “As long as I have little Jake, I don’t care,” Luke replied.

  Jake cringed. “You named that thing after me?”

  “He sure did,” Trevor said. “He’s been calling the critter that ever since you ate those Rocky Mountain oysters.”

  “Rocky Mountain oysters? Are those mollusks from Colorado?” Justin asked.

  “It’s not what you think,” Jake shuddered. “I’ll explain later.”

  “You really need to stop bringing that thing into town,” Sue told her youngest brother. “I can’t have you making a scene every time you show up.”

  Mr. Allen laughed. “Are you kidding? That was a riot. It was better than the wedding skit your family did.”

  "Your family must do their best work when they ad-lib stuff,” Justin agreed.

  “I guess it was an interesting occurrence,” Trevor thoughtfully stated. “Sis, you’ll have to tell me what happened so I can write it down.”

  “Are you men going to help us clean this mess up?” Mrs. Monroe called out as the women struggled to get the room back to its former condition.

  Justin scoffed at her. “You planned this chaos. You clean it up. We have a meeting to finish.”

  “I'll be up there in a minute,” Jake told him as the men headed up the stairs. “Sue will be with you in a moment,” he told her brothers.

  “We can take a hint,” Trevor replied as he led Luke out of the building.

  Jake turned to her and smiled. “You really think so well of me that you would take off another woman’s wig and threaten to throw it in the punch bowl if she didn’t leave?”

  Sue grinned. “It was either that or tell her horrible things about you so she would stay away from you.”

  He chuckled. “If it helps, while you were talking to Trevor, I told Johanna that I have no intention of annulling our marriage. I know I have a good thing going with you and I have no intention of blowing it.”

  “I like being with you too.” She sighed. “I have to go to the farm. Gloria is in labor and I have to go help out. She’s been anxious during the whole pregnancy and asked for my support. Anyway, I wanted to let you know before I left.”