Heart of the Moment (Heart's Intent, #3)

by Brower, Dawn

  “That’s not something easily answered. To make it short...” She sighed. “I took one look at you and realized you were about to blow away. You don’t look well. Yes, I have been brash and baldly stated you look like shit. That was actually me being polite. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. We all need someone to lean on from time to time, and sadly I’m aware of how many people you have that you can count on. For whatever reason, the few that you can you’ve pushed away. I hope your reasons are sound because something tells me you could use someone in your life.”

  A tear fell down Jessica’s cheek. Lana was the last person she expected to notice how much she needed a friend. She wasn’t about to kick herself while she was down. If Lana was willing to be in her life, she’d take a chance and allow her in. She leaned over and hugged her tight. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Now, come help me take my new dog home.”

  Not long after that, they had Bella and were heading to the nearest pet store to get supplies. The best of everything for the new love of her life. Things were starting to look up for her. Jessica had an adorable puppy and a new friend. Nothing more could possibly go wrong...

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “I don’t want to go to lunch,” Jessica told Lana. “I’m quite content staying in my house. Besides, Bella is all the company I need.” The puppy turned out to be the best thing she’d ever gotten herself. For the past two weeks, she’d given Jessica unconditional love, and it helped to alleviate some of her depression. Dr. Adams had been right in that regard. Taking care of the dog had given her a new purpose. Perhaps she would take Bella for a walk in the park. That sounded much more fun than sitting in a restaurant and being gawked at.

  “You are not staying inside today,” Lana scoffed. “It’s a beautiful day and should be enjoyed.”

  “Isn’t sitting inside a restaurant defeating that purpose?”

  “You may have a point,” Lana said. “But I have an idea, and I think you’ll go along with it. That fluff ball you call a puppy needs to visit a groomer bad to get her hair under control. There is a groomer near the restaurant I want to go. Before you scream—yes, I made an appointment already. They are expecting you there in thirty minutes.”

  Jessica stared down at Bella and had to concede Lana may be right. Bella’s fur had to be tamed, and she was ill-equipped to do it. She could drop the dog off at the groomer, have lunch with Lana, and then take Bella to the park afterward. She’d probably want to roll around in the grass and erase the pretty shampoo smell from her. It, theoretically, was a win-win situation.

  “All right,” Jessica said. “You win. We will do what you have planned.”

  Lana pumped her fist in the air. “Okay, let’s go. Grab the mutt and meet me in the car.”

  Jessica grabbed Bella’s leash and led her outside. Bella immediately led her to a nearby bush and did her business. So far, she was pretty good about going to the bathroom outside. Really, Jessica had gotten lucky in that regard. She had no idea how to potty train a puppy. Bella was as low maintenance as a dog could be—if you disregarded the fact she had to have regular groomer visits.

  After she was settled in the car with Bella on her lap, Lana started the car and drove away from the house. They sat in silence for several moments. Jessica enjoyed it for as long as it lasted, which wasn’t much. As soon as they turned the corner leaving Jessica’s subdivision, Lana opened her mouth and began her bombardment of questions. “I realize I said I wouldn’t ask, but it’s driving me insane.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “What is going on with you?”

  Jessica didn’t really want to talk about it. She hated voicing her problems for any reason. It had taken a lot for her to open up to Dr. Adams, and she really didn’t know Lana well enough to unload on her. It was easier for her to keep it all to herself. Once she opened a vein, there was no stopping the flow of information. “So much for minding your own business.”

  Lana groaned. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I can’t help myself. The offer still stands though... Anytime you want to tell me what’s ailing you, I’m here. Don’t pretend there isn’t anything. I’m a nurse, and there are too many signs pointing otherwise.”

  How bad did she look? She hadn’t bothered to stand in front of a mirror and make an actual assessment. That was part of her denial stage. The longer she could avoid the situation, the better for her stress levels. Her appointment with Dr. Foster was in a couple of days. There would be plenty of time then to worry about what might happen to her.

  “I...” Hell, she didn’t know what to say. Should she tell Lana a little bit? “There may or may not be an issue. I will have more information after I go see my doctor. After I have all the details, I’ll consider sharing them with you. Until then, I ask that you please respect my privacy.”

  Lana nodded as she pulled her car into a parking spot. She shut off the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition. The keys dangled from her hands as she stared off into space for a few heartbeats, then she turned to Jessica and said, “The fact that you’re keeping it close to the vest means it is serious. You already know enough information to ascertain that much. If it’s as grave as your tone implies, you shouldn’t go to that appointment alone.”

  “I—” Jessica started to say.

  Lana held up her hand and interrupted her, “Don’t say any more. Think about letting me go with you. I could be a good asset to have. When you make a decision, you can text me and I’ll be there. In the meantime, take your dog into the groomer and then meet me at the Italian restaurant around the corner.”

  Jessica nodded and picked Bella up to take inside. She wasn’t so sure having Lana around would be a good idea or not. On one hand, she was a medical professional and might understand the terminology better than she did. But there was also the fact that she was an unknown quantity. Could she trust her with so much personal information? Their friendship was tenuous at best and one breath away from falling apart the moment Lana decided Jessica wasn’t worth her time. Truthfully, she kept waiting for the latter to happen. She still didn’t understand why Lana had decided to take her under her wing. It was something she might never fully comprehend, but she was grateful all the same. Maybe it was time for her to take a risk and let Lana completely in. She’d already done so much for her, and Jessica continued to keep her at a distance.

  “What do you think, Bella?” she asked. “Should I tell Lana everything?”

  Jessica was so focused on Bella she almost ran right into someone. She reached out to balance herself on the man’s arm and froze. It was Preston. How had he known she’d be there? Was he following her?

  “Hello,” he said. “Who’s your friend?”

  She narrowed her gaze and glared at him. “What are you doing here?”

  He held up his hands and said, “Easy sweetheart, I’m on my way to my car. I finished eating lunch at a restaurant around the corner. I had a meeting with a colleague, and we decided we could do it over food.”

  That sounded reasonable enough, but she didn’t buy it. Did Lana arrange it so they’d run into each other? This all appeared rather contrived. Jessica didn’t believe in coincidences. She’d arranged a few fake meetings once upon a time to believe in them.

  “Right,” she said and tilted her head. “Does this person have a name?”

  “He does,” Preston said. He lifted a brow questioningly. “Why the third degree?”

  She ignored him and said, “Well what is it?”

  He shook his head frowned. “You’re upset. I’m not entirely certain what this is all about, but if it eases your mind it was Dr. Foster. We’re working on a case together that is stumping us both.”

  Jessica froze at his words. She hadn’t met with Dr. Foster yet, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t discussed her. What if Preston knew everything? Did he see her differently now? Her heart beat hard and heavy in her chest. It was a small hospital, and the chances of Preston eventually finding out was inevitable, but she’d hoped to avoid it as long as possible. Perhaps this r
eally was a twist of fate... Perhaps she could test him a little bit and figure out one way or the other.

  “I’m sure she’s lucky to have two doctors determined to help her.”

  He scrunched his eyebrows together. “I never said it was a she.”

  “Isn’t it?” She frowned as convincingly as possible. “I swear you said her a moment ago.” What was wrong with her? She sounded like a harpy with her claws out or a neurotic female who believed she was the only one in the universe. Either way, it wasn’t a good look.

  “No,” he replied. “I didn’t because it’s not a woman.”

  Then they couldn’t have been talking about her. Thank the lord for small favors. She had some time before he found out. A part of her was afraid of him knowing it all. Having him look at her differently... It would hurt her too much for that to happen. She loved him so much, and all she wanted was for him to be happy. If she could be that person for him she would be, but unfortunately her life was one chaotic mess mixed with all things dreadful.

  “My mistake,” she said. “I have to go. Bella has an appointment. I don’t want to be late.”

  “You seem to be doing that a lot.”

  “What?” she asked. She darted her gaze away from him. If she allowed herself to look at him she’d cave.

  “Running late.” He leaned in closer. “Or are you running, period.”

  Jessica flinched. He didn’t understand. Her distance was to protect him from who she was deep inside. She wasn’t a good person, and he was one of the best people she knew. He deserved far better than she could ever offer anyone. The hate she had inside for who she’d turned into was toxic. Until she cleansed herself of that poison completely she was not good for anyone, especially Preston. Her illness was an even bigger wakeup call.

  She lifted her chin defiantly and did the one thing she’d been trying to avoid—staring him in the eyes. “I don’t run from anything.” She shrugged. “If you believed otherwise, that’s on you. I’m sorry if you feel that way, but you’re reading too much into my actions. I’m honestly late now, and I did have an appointment with Dr. Adams the other day.”

  But she hadn’t been running late then... She had been running from him. He couldn’t know that though. If he realized the lengths she went to avoid him, he’d start dogging her heels. He could be relentless when he wanted to be. At one time, she’d liked that trait in him. Now though, it could work against her and she wasn’t going to feed him anything that might spark his interest.

  “I don’t believe you,” he said. “Oh, I know you had an appointment and I’m sure you do now, but that’s not why you’re rushing past me. If you weren’t avoiding me, nothing would stop you from coming to me. You’re forgetting I’m perhaps the one person around who knows you better than you know yourself.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against her ear. “You are hiding something, my dear, and I will figure it out. You can count on that.”

  Jessica closed her eyes and shivered at his words. That was what she’d been afraid of. He was so damn persistent. It wouldn’t be long before he found out how sick she was, and then he’d never leave her side. She didn’t want him that way. Maybe once she was whole and healthy she could have him, but until then she didn’t need him to see her literally fall apart. Cancer was a bitch, and she’d seen the damage some of the treatment did to a person’s body. She’d lose her hair, and the idea of being bald actually horrified her, but not as much as having Preston see her as weak.

  “Dig away,” she said defiantly. “I can’t stop you. But fair warning, you may not like what you find.”

  “It can’t be as bad as this unnecessary distance you’re putting between us. I thought we’d started to make progress. This is bullshit, and you are fully aware of it.”

  His anger was justified. They had made a few steps forward in the right direction. The night Dani had been shot, they’d had a long talk. It helped her to see how selfish she’d been with Ren. If not for Preston, she might still be holding on to some elusive hope that she had a chance to repair her relationship with Ren. It was a breakthrough, and she’d believed that perhaps she had a future with Preston. But that was before she’d gotten her diagnosis. That changed everything, and she’d had to reassess her entire life.

  “The thing I’m aware of is the fact that you’re keeping me from taking my dog to the groomer. I don’t have time to share barbs with you. Go find someone else to harass.”

  Jessica pushed past him and walked inside the groomer. She breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t follow her inside. He was growing bolder each time they ran into each other. It wouldn’t be long before she’d no longer be able to keep it all from him. She wasn’t as strong as she would like to be. Until then, she’d keep her secrets to herself.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Lunch had been a nightmare. Somehow, by some fluke, they’d ended up at the same restaurant Dani and Claire were meeting. Claire had this brilliant idea for Lana and Jessica to join them. It was the last thing Jessica had wanted to do, but she was polite and agreed. Having a meal with Dani and acting as if everything was all right had been one of the most difficult things she’d ever done. Dani had been gracious for the most part.

  Somehow, they’d made it through the whole thing without an incident. Jessica might not have been able to handle it if Dani had been a bitch. Luckily, Claire had dropped a bombshell and it had kept everyone’s attention on Matt’s blunder. It had been rather nice for the focus to be on someone else. The outrage around the table had been palpable, and she’d almost felt sorry for Matthew Price. Unfortunately, Jessica was well aware what it was like to have that many people pissed off at her.

  So, in the end, Matt had saved her from the possibility of unbearable embarrassment. No one actually noticed her once they started discussing him having his sight back. She hadn’t had to answer any questions about how crappy she looked, and even though she was uncomfortable the entire time she’d managed to handle it. When it was over, she’d sent up a silent prayer of thanks for giving her the strength to endure it all. Afterward, she’d picked Bella up from the groomer and had Lana take her home. The energy it had taken to sit through that lunch had drained her. The park would have to wait for another day.

  “I’m so sorry, Bella love,” she said as she hugged the puppy. “You were such a good girl for the groomer. You deserve to have time to play at the park.”

  She’d never in a million years have imagined she’d have a conversation with a dog. Bella was the only one she could be completely open with. She didn’t judge and gave hugs on a regular basis.

  “How about a treat instead?”

  The puppy was no longer as fluffy as she’d been before her visit to the groomer. Her fur was neatly trimmed and she had a pretty pink bow tied to her ear. She hopped around excitedly at the mention of a treat. Jessica laughed and picked her up for a quick hug. “You already know that word, do you? You’re such a smart puppy.”

  Jessica carried Bella into the kitchen and set her down as she retrieved a treat from the cupboard. The puppy sat at her feet until Jessica leaned down and gave it to her. She patted the top of her head and smiled. “You like those, don’t you?”

  A knock at the door caught Jessica’s attention. “I wonder who that is.” Lana had already come and gone. This whole line of thinking was eerily familiar. Surely Preston hadn’t decided to come over and confront her further. The conversation in the parking lot had been difficult, and she didn’t want a repeat performance. She walked to the door and then opened it. Two men stood on her front doorstep—one as dark as the other one was light. They were both handsome and sexy as hell. Too bad she’d given up on men, and even if she hadn’t there was only one she wanted.

  The blond man nodded at her. “Are you Jessica Sousa?”

  Jessica nodded. He sounded so official... “I am. Can I help you.”

  “May we come in?” he asked and gestured toward the dark-haired man. “I’m Detective Carter Jackson and this is my partner Detect
ive Dane Hunter.”

  “What is this about?” Jessica’s heart began to beat heavily in her chest. What did the police want with her? Her stomach rolled and twisted as all the possibilities ran through her mind. Was someone injured? Had someone—she gulped—died?

  “We can explain everything, but I think its best we are more comfortable as we do it,” Detective Hunter said. “Some things are best discussed privately.”

  That did nothing to alleviate her concerns. It wasn’t everyday that the police showed up on her doorstep. It had to be serious. She didn’t like it, but there was one choice left. “By all means,” she said and gestured to them. “Come inside.” They both nodded and stepped inside her house. She led them to the living room and pointed to where they could sit. What was the protocol for having detectives at her house? She had no clue how social she should be. “Can I offer you something to drink?” Jessica hoped they said no. She didn’t really want to leave them alone while she went into the kitchen to retrieve something for them. Hell, she didn’t even have much in the way of refreshments. The idea of grocery shopping had seemed—exhausting.

  “No thank you, ma’am,” Detective Jackson said. “We don’t want to put you out. This shouldn’t take too long.”

  Detective Hunter nodded. “We have a few questions. If you’ll have a seat, we can get started.”

  A few questions? She had a few of those herself. Before she answered any, they’d start talking and tell her what the heck was going on. Jessica sat in a chair and crossed her legs. She folded her hands in her lap and pasted on a congenial smile. “Of course, can you tell me what brings you to my home?”

  They were both quiet for a few moments, and then Detective Hunter flipped open a notebook. He stared at it and cleared his throat. “Can you tell me how you’re acquainted with a Mr. Vincent Jones?”