It's Always Been You

by Elle Wright

  Something told her there was another wrench in her best-laid plan.

  Chapter 7

  “El, we need to talk.” Drake barged into El’s office, closing the door behind him.

  Dr. Elwood Jackson sighed and told his secretary, “Give us a minute.”

  Drake hadn’t even realized there was someone else there, but he couldn’t care. He needed to talk to his uncle. “You need an hour,” he said.

  “Block my calendar off for an hour,” El told the shy woman as she exited in a hurry. When the door closed, El tapped on the desk. “This better be good. You know I’m busy.”

  Drake took a seat on the couch in the office. It was the one El used when counseling his patients, and he had half a mind to stretch out and start the conversation with “I’m going crazy.” Instead he simply said, “You’re a shrink, but you’re also the closest thing to an older brother that I have.”

  El was his father’s youngest brother, and technically his uncle. But he was only five years older than Drake, who liked to call him his uncle-brother. El had told him to drop the “uncle” from the title years ago, but Drake used it sometimes to get on his nerves.

  “What’s going on, Drake?” he asked, leaning back in his chair. “You’re acting out of the ordinary.”

  Drake slapped a dollar bill on the desk. “Now what I’m about to tell you is restricted under doctor/patient confidentiality.”

  El smirked. “Really? You’re paying me a dollar? What the hell is happening?”

  Drake leaned forward, his hands flat on the desk. “This is serious, El. What I’m about to tell you is a game changer. And I need your ear and your advice.”

  El rubbed his chin and nodded. “I’m listening.”

  Drake managed to get the sex and marriage thing out in one sentence. But it annoyed him that five minutes later El was still laughing. While his uncle-brother snickered at his expense, Drake grew more and more frustrated.

  Tapping his fingers against the desk, he finally yelled, “Give me my damn dollar back. You’re no help.”

  El coughed in an effort to stifle his laughter. “I’m sorry. I’m just... I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

  “Last I checked, me talking and you laughing is not a conversation.”

  “You’re right.” El cleared his throat. “Let me get this straight. You had drunken sex with your best friend, married her, and now...”

  “That’s it. We’re still married.”

  “Why this trip to Vegas? Why now?”

  “How the hell should I know? I’m not sure what happened to turn this into what it is. One minute we’re hanging out on the Strip and the next we’re married.”

  “What did Love do?”s

  “Freaked out. Especially when her mother announced it to the entire family reunion,” he mumbled under his breath.

  “What?” El blared. “When did Gloria find out?”

  “She happened to be in the room when the damn concierge dropped by with the happy news and the receipt for the $15,000 ring I bought her.”

  “Fifteen thousand!”

  “I can’t talk about that. Man, if I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t believe it. What the hell was I thinking?”

  “I’m wondering the same thing.”

  “Thanks.”

  “This is not like you, which leads me to believe that a part of you wants to be with Love in some capacity. Do you think that’s why you did this?”

  Drake frowned. “El, what the hell? You know me. You know Love.”

  “You’re not answering the question. Impulsive is not a word I associate with you or Love. Neither are sex and marriage after years of friendship. I’m just wondering if there wasn’t a part of you that’s always wanted to be with Love on that level.”

  Drake thought about that for a minute. Love was beautiful, hands down. And not just physically, but her beauty radiated from within. For years he’d watched men try to get close to her, drawn to those special inner qualities. She was an exceptional cook, she loved sports and she loved him—flaws and all. That meant something to Drake, made him want to deserve someone like her. But he wasn’t the type to settle down. He wanted the high life and a high-rise in the city, women in every town and no expectations. Love wanted the small-town life, a husband who came home at a reasonable hour every night, kids, and family vacations. And Drake wanted that for her.

  He was wise enough, though, to know that Love had ruined it for any woman he’d meet in the future. He’d always compared any prospective woman to her, and the other woman always lost. But that wasn’t something he’d ever shared with anyone else. It was his secret and he’d keep it that way.

  “No,” he grumbled. “A relationship with Love will not work. We want different things in life. She deserves better than me.”

  “Ah,” El said.

  Sighing, Drake shifted in his seat. He hated that “ah” El pulled out during serious conversations. It meant that he surmised something about Drake that Drake would undoubtedly resent.

  “In a perfect world, would Love be the one you want? I mean, you both have some weird codependency on each other. She’s your girl without being your girl. I know you’ve been friends for a long time, but it’s very telling that the minute your inhibitions were lowered, you slept with her and committed to each other officially. Have you asked yourself why?”

  Drake stood abruptly, paced the floor. “Stop asking me questions like that.”

  “Well, you did pay me.”

  “To buy your silence, not to prescribe me medicine and be my psychotherapist.”

  El chuckled. “You do realize that one dollar doesn’t even buy you a minute of my time under normal circumstances.”

  And this was the downside of having a shrink for an uncle-brother. El always tried to find the hidden emotions in everything. Drake was tempted to inquire if El had asked himself all these whack questions. Maybe his uncle-brother wouldn’t be afraid to move on from Avery.

  “To answer your question,” Drake said, “we don’t live in a perfect world. Because if we did, I wouldn’t be going through this right now.”

  “Is it possible that you have feelings for Love that go beyond friendship?”

  It was a trick question. There was no right answer. If he said yes it would affirm El’s suspicions of hidden emotions. If he said no it wouldn’t make any sense, since they’d spent the night together rolling around in bed naked.

  “She’s my best friend.”

  “Like a sister?”

  Drake snorted as he paced. “Hell no.” He had a little sister, and knew what sister feelings were. His friendship with Love had never been like that. For starters, he didn’t admire his little sister’s legs or her cleavage. “But we’ve known each other since we were toddlers.”

  He and Love had never crossed a line with each other. Drake had never given her kisses behind the chalkboard in kindergarten, made forts in the backyard so they could play house. No Hide-and-Go-Get-It in the wooded trails behind the school. There was no picking on her boyfriends because he was jealous.

  “This is going to sound like a strange question, but did you enjoy it?” El asked.

  Drake whirled around. “What?”

  “Did you enjoy being with her?”

  Drake clenched his fists and stretched his neck. “I—I...” he sputtered. “It was sex. I enjoy sex.”

  “Once again, you’re not answering the question. Did you enjoy being with Love on that level? It’s a simple yes or no answer.”

  “Of course.” Drake scowled at El. “Like I said, it was sex.”

  “Was there anything about the experience that was different than your other sexual relationships?”

  “Yes!” Drake blared. “It was different because it was her!” The sheer exhaus
tion he felt after that admission made him sit back down on the couch. Hard. Arms on his knees, he leaned forward. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Once I remembered the details, it’s been running through my mind on a loop.”

  Every kiss, every touch of her lips to his...it still burned there. It wasn’t simply making love. They made fire together. Hot, scorching fire that had seared his brain, stayed with him. Seeing her that morning in her snow boots and puffer coat, looking into her expressive brown eyes, had made him want a repeat.

  “I don’t know what to do with this,” Drake admitted. “Things are different. I’m trying to keep it the same but I still feel her, smell her. She’s not in the ‘can’t go there’ box I put her in all those years ago. I’ve gone there, and I can’t flip a switch and pretend I didn’t.”

  El coughed. “Okay, so let me ask you...what are you going to do about it?”

  What can I do? Any move he made ran the risk of destroying everything, and he’d promised he wouldn’t let what happened ruin them. “Nothing. The sooner we can end this marriage, the better.”

  The answer wasn’t one he liked. He’d have to put some distance between them if their friendship had any chance of surviving. She’d already been hurt enough by Derrick. Drake couldn’t hurt her.

  His phone buzzed with a message, breaking him from his thoughts. When he saw who it was from, he groaned loudly.

  “Who is it?” El asked.

  “Her dad.” Drake glanced at the text again: My office now. “I have go. I’ll call you later.

  Walking to Dr. Leon Washington’s office was like walking the plank. It wasn’t that Drake hated him. It was quite the opposite. Drake’s own father was a lousy one, and Dr. Leon had filled in a lot of gaps for him as a child.

  Drake’s parents had never married. His mother was one in a long line of mistresses that only served one purpose in life for his father. When Drake was born, his father took custody of him, and he could count on one hand the number of times he’d actually seen his mother. He’d met her once after his kindergarten graduation. The second time was an unplanned incident at the mall when he was a teenager. He hadn’t even recognized her when he saw her but she had walked up to him and gave him a hug and a kiss before she disappeared from his life for good. He’d found out she died a few years later.

  His father’s wife never showed him love. He figured it was because he was the constant reminder of the man’s infidelity. There was the kind nanny and the housekeeper. Then there was Gloria. His father and Love’s dad were colleagues and the two families spent a lot of time together. Dr. Leon had taught Drake how to drive, how to change a tire. He’d helped him study for the MCAT and wrote letters of recommendation to medical school.

  Somehow, Drake knew that marrying his daughter was a different story. The elder man, his boss, had made it clear that Love was off-limits. Yes, Dr. Leon was firmly in Derrick’s camp, as evidenced by the fact that he’d sent the fool to Vegas to woo Love back.

  Drake rounded the corner toward Dr. Leon’s office and slowed when he spotted Love pacing outside the door.

  “Love?” he asked, approaching her. “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Your dad texted me and told me to come.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Great,” he mumbled.

  She looked up at him, tears swimming in her eyes. “Do you think he knows? What do I say?”

  The relationship between Love and her father was strained, had been since Leon divorced Gloria, married his mistress and moved to Michigan. It was partly because of his high expectations of his daughter, but mostly because of the divorce and everything that had happened afterward. Her parents had had a contemptuous relationship, but the one thing they’d never argued about was her. Her father had never fought for her. He was completely okay with summer and holiday visits, which infuriated Love.

  She’d once shared with Drake that she knew her father was overbearing, but a part of her always wanted to please him, even though he didn’t deserve her loyalty. She even went so far as to date a man handpicked by her father. Derrick. The asshole who’d cheated on her for months.

  Drake ran his finger down her cheek, and she leaned into it. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to stop her tears. Even lie, cheat or steal. “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “It could be a total coincidence that he asked to see us both. Don’t worry, until we have something to worry about. Besides, he won’t take his anger out on you. I’ll be the one doing cholecystectomies for the foreseeable future.”

  She giggled. “Stop making me laugh.”

  “You know I’m right.”

  “Probably. He won’t even give you those gallbladder surgeries. You’ll be lucky if he lets you scrub in on an appendectomy.”

  “My bet? I’ll be stuck in the ER intubating patients all day or on central line placement.”

  She nodded. “Ready?”

  He knocked on the door. When he heard Dr. Leon beckon them to come in, he opened it. He expected to see Love’s father with his head buried in a chart, or writing on the whiteboard in his office. Instead, Drake froze when he saw Derrick Harper sitting comfortably in front of the desk.

  Dr. Leon stepped forward and met his gaze, the frown on his face telling Drake this wasn’t a friendly visit. “Well, well,” he said. “If it isn’t the newlyweds.”

  “Daddy?” Love said, her voice shaking as her gaze moved between Derrick and her father. “What’s going on?”

  “You tell me,” Dr. Leon said, gesturing for them to take a seat.

  Love held on to Drake’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Her father was a formidable doctor, in and out of the operating room, but what distinguished him from other surgeons was his willingness to teach. He’d mentored students across the country. Right now, though, he didn’t look so amenable.

  Dr. Leon ran a hand over the stubble on his chin and let out a heavy grunt. “Since you’re not talking, how about I start?” He pointed at Derrick, who sat with a smug look on his face. Drake wanted to kick his ass. For the life of him, he didn’t understand what Love had seen in the man. He was a jerk, plain and simple. And Drake knew jerks, because he was an ass on a good day. “Imagine my surprise when Derrick told me what happened in Vegas when he arrived to propose. Not only did he walk into you and Drake sharing a hotel room, but he overheard your mother announcing to a roomful of people that you’re married.”

  Drake glared at Derrick.

  “What?” Love said. “You were there?”

  “I went to the dinner to talk to you,” Derrick said. “I left when your mother announced the marriage.”

  “And you couldn’t wait to come back and tell my father?”

  “Never mind that,” Dr. Leon said. “Why? Are you pregnant?”

  Love shook her head. “No. We’d never... I mean, it’s not like that.”

  “Drake?” Dr. Leon said. “Care to say something? I believe you owe me an explanation.”

  “I do. But I’m not talking about this with him in the room.” Drake couldn’t believe he’d basically told his boss to kick someone out of his office. “This is between me, you and Love. Not Derrick.”

  Leon glared at him. “Listen, you married my daughter without so much as a call for permission. After everything I’ve done for you.”

  Love gasped. “Daddy, don’t—”

  Drake glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Love, let me handle this.” He met her father’s hard gaze with one of his own. “With all due respect, sir, this isn’t about you. It’s about me and Love. He doesn’t belong in this room.”

  “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Derrick asked incredulously.

  Drake stood. “Did I stutter? I meant what I said.”

  “Well, luckily, this isn’t your office.” Derrick
sneered at him.

  Drake looked at Dr. Leon. “I’ve known you for a long time. You’re like a father to me, especially since my dad couldn’t be bothered. I think I deserve a chance to talk to you without an audience.”

  “If you have something to say, say it,” Dr. Leon challenged.

  Drake squeezed Love’s hand when she gasped. “Dr. Leon, the fact that we’re even having this discussion stings. I thought you knew that I would never intentionally hurt Love.”

  “I don’t think you’d intentionally hurt her,” Dr. Leon responded, his voice flat.

  Drake couldn’t figure out why the older man, his mentor, was choosing to treat him as if he was no better than a random guy on the street. He knew Dr. Leon wouldn’t be happy, but this was another level of disdain that he’d never expected. Love’s father was stern, not overly affectionate, but he’d never been a jerk. It rankled Drake, made him want to confront the older man, his job be damned.

  “I know my daughter, and there is more to this story.”

  It was laughable that Dr. Leon was standing in front of him, telling him that he knew Love. “I understand that you think you know your daughter, but when are you going to admit that I know her just as well—probably better? I know what she wants out of life, and I will do my best to make sure she realizes her dreams. As I’m sure she’ll do for me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.” It was the truth, and Love knew it. That’s why he could be found watching chick flicks on a Saturday afternoon, or visiting every single new art exhibit in the area, or snoring through off-Broadway plays. “And I don’t really care what anyone else has to say about it, because I’ve got her.”

  Leon stared at them, long and hard.

  “I’d love to continue this conversation,” Drake told him. “But I need you to ask that fool to leave.”

  Dr. Leon held his ground. “Derrick is family.”

  The comment stung, especially since Drake respected Leon, modeled his professional career after him.

  “Family?” Love said. “Really, Daddy? Drake is family, legally now. I know you’re upset, but he is my husband. Derrick is not, and never will be because he broke my heart.”