The Mommy Plan

by Susan Gable

  “What about Molly?” Rachel splayed her hands across his chest and pushed him back a fraction of an inch.

  “She’s sleeping.” He caressed the line of her jaw. “So, what were you thinking about when you were stealing looks at me today?”

  “Last night.” A flush appeared in her cheeks and she averted her eyes.

  James held back a groan as a rush of heat raced through his veins. “Last night was…great.”

  She hesitantly met his gaze again. “For me, too.”

  “Look, Rachel, I don’t know if we’ll get the chance to be…that intimate again, not with Molly around. But I don’t want to waste a second of the time we can steal together.”

  The lines around her mouth softened and she smiled. “Then I suggest, counselor, that you shut up and kiss me.”

  He pulled her against his chest and did as she commanded, loving the way she made him feel. Carefree, alive, very much a man…

  One more week with her was not going to be enough.

  “COME ON IN.” DON SWUNG the door to his office wide and offered a sweep of his arm in invitation.

  Rachel surreptitiously wiped her palms across the hem of her T-shirt as she entered. Don’s office was larger than Trudy’s, featuring more than just the standard desk and filing cabinets. A sofa and armchair occupied one corner, and there was a large table with four hard-backed chairs around it in another. And he had an air conditioner, for which she was very grateful. Maybe her hands would stop sweating.

  Don dropped himself into the armchair, leaving her no option but to sit on the couch.

  Hard to believe two weeks had passed since she’d arrived. The hours she’d spent with James had made time fly. Early-morning walks with him and Molly, evenings spent around the campfire behind his cabin. An occasional touch, a few stolen kisses. Though they hadn’t made love again, Rachel treasured what they’d shared.

  “So, Rachel, tell me, has Camp Firefly Wishes done anything for you?”

  Okay, this was it. Her last chance to influence the report Don would undoubtedly be writing in the next few days. She nodded her head. “I think so.”

  “What?”

  “Well, meeting these kids has made me—” the next words caught in her throat and she had to force them out “—glad that I agreed to donate Daniel’s organs.”

  Don scribbled on the legal-size yellow tablet he’d propped on the arm of the chair. “What else?”

  She lifted both shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s reminded me that life is for living, and I should get on with doing that. No matter how hard it is.”

  “Good.”

  They talked about the kids in her care, and the responses of the parents to her, about her performance as the arts and crafts teacher. Don skirted around the issue of her relationship with James and Molly. The camp director must have noticed something going on between them, but Rachel appreciated the fact that he didn’t seem interested in discussing it.

  “Let’s talk about the night in the hospital.”

  All the moisture from her mouth fled to her hands, causing a new round of sweating. She picked at a seam on the sofa’s cushion. “I’d rather not.”

  “I’d like to know what you were thinking, what you were feeling that led up to your collapse, Rachel.” Don’s pen poised over the pad.

  In an instant, she could smell the disinfectants, hear the sounds of the sirens and the babble of nurses, see Daniel in that bed, all hooked up to monitors. “No!” She surged to her feet. “I am not talking about that, I am not thinking about that!”

  “Easy. We’re just talking here. Talking can’t hurt you.” Don rose, hand outstretched.

  “No. I’m leaving. Enough is enough. You’ll have to write your report however you see fit, but I’m not talking about this with you. Or anyone else!” She rushed out the door, the muggy air in the hallway making it hard to breathe.

  Her first impulse was to run to James. In his company she could forget about the bad stuff, the painful stuff. But what was the point in that? Tomorrow they were both leaving camp, he to Branford Fields, in the southwest corner of Pennsylvania, she to Elsworth, in the northwest corner. And that would be the end of it. Now was the time to stand on her own two feet. She pinched the bridge of her nose, hard.

  Sometimes life was a bitch.

  But a good soldier laced her boots tighter and carried on.

  JAMES STEPPED NEARER to Rachel in the shadows on the edge of the beach. The camp’s closing ceremony was just about over, and so was their time together.

  And he didn’t like that idea one bit.

  “And so, we extinguish the memory torch until next year, but we’ll carry in our hearts the memories of the people we’ve loved and lost, and the memories of the people who made such a difference for others, giving life in a time of loss.” Don’s solemn voice echoed over the crowd as he snuffed out the flame atop the rainbow-colored torch. Black smoke drifted upward in the night sky. “We hope to see a lot of you again next year. May you all be happy and healthy between now and then.”

  James captured Rachel’s hand as it headed for her face. He wove their fingers together and squeezed, knowing Don’s words had stirred memories of her little boy.

  “Darn! I can’t believe camp is over already,” Molly complained from his other side. “Now we gotta go back home, and the rest of the summer is going to be boring. I wanna stay longer.”

  So did James. He wasn’t ready to give up on Rachel, on feeling like a more complete human being than he had in ages. Their stolen moments over the past week had been welcome oases in his life. She’d pushed him to try things with Molly. A trail ride on horseback, a canoe trip on the lake…but it was some of the other times he’d miss more. Her watching him tuck Molly in at night, his pulling her onto the porch where they’d talked and kissed like a couple of teenagers. But all that was over. He stifled the urge to sigh. “Sorry, tiger. That’s the way it goes. Before you know it, school will be back in session.”

  “Oh, great. I can hardly wait.”

  Rachel chuckled.

  The crowd slowly dispersed, making its way off the beach, wandering back in the direction of the individual cabins. Nolan, Michelle and Cherish appeared in the throng. Nolan carried Tyler in an infant seat, but used his free hand to clap James on the shoulder. “Well, Jim, I guess that’s about it for our vacations, huh? Back to work on Monday. How about one last campfire at your place?”

  “Please, Dad, please?” Molly clasped her hands together in supplication. “Just one more night? We can catch some more fireflies, and tell more stories.”

  “Roast a few more marshmallows,” Cherish put in. “After tonight, I won’t get to see Molly again for a long time. Please?”

  James pretended to consider it for a moment, when the truth was, he was as eager as they were to prolong the experience. “Okay.”

  The girls shrieked and jumped up and down. “We’ll meet you there!” Molly grabbed Cherish by the hand and the pair took off down the road, weaving around other groups of campers.

  “You’ll join us, right?” he asked Rachel.

  “Huh?” She looked up from the dirt road to his face. “Join you for what?”

  “A campfire. Behind my cabin. Roasted marshmallows and stories.” James waved off Nolan and Michelle, who picked up their pace, leaving him alone with Rachel.

  “I should pack. I planned an early start tomorrow morning.” Right. Like she was really looking forward to getting back home to her empty house…her empty life. Even her cat wouldn’t be glad to see her—Peggy Sue was probably miffed at being left with Mrs. Benton for so long. And what would Rachel do for the next few weeks, until it was time to get ready for school? Sit around and watch the paint peel?

  Jolted, she realized that was exactly what she had been doing since Daniel had died. Zoning out. Avoiding everyone and anyone.

  “Rachel?” James tightened his fingers around hers. “You okay?” he asked softly.

  “I’m fine.”

  He
bobbed his head. “Of course. What other answer did I expect? How about you pack first, then come to the fire?”

  She stopped as they reached the front of his cabin and turned to face him. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Just like I wouldn’t have missed these two weeks with you, James McClain.

  “Good. Then I’ll see you in a little while.”

  “SO, JAMES, WAS SUMMER CAMP all you’d hoped for?” Michelle shifted from foot to foot as she rocked the baby in her arms, the glow from the fire casting flickering shadows across her face.

  Nolan had taken the girls off to catch fireflies one last time. The wind rustled the tops of the trees and swirled the smoke from the fire, lifting tiny red embers into the air.

  “All that and more.” He smiled. Let Michelle make of that what she wanted.

  “So I noticed. There’s been a certain spring in your step the past week.” She settled the now-sleeping infant into his carrying seat, then tucked a lightweight blanket around him. “I hate to admit it, but it looks good on you.”

  “What looks good on me?” He glanced down at the shirt he wore, a yellow-colored polo.

  “Not your shirt, nitwit. Rachel.”

  “Rachel?” He raised his eyebrows as Michelle sank into the lawn chair. “I thought you didn’t approve of me and Rachel? She has too much baggage, I believe you said. Or is it that you can approve now that camp’s just about over?”

  “I worried, and I shouldn’t have. She’s been really good with the kids.” Michelle cocked her head as Nolan’s booming laughter echoed from the front of the cabin. She broke into an easy grin. “It’s not good to be alone, James. I was concerned about the effects Rachel’s…loss…could have on you and Molly. I was wrong.”

  James slapped his hand across his chest. “Write this down in the record books. Michelle was wrong.”

  “Smart-ass. So, you gonna keep seeing her? I checked out a map on the Internet yesterday and Branford Fields is only about a two-hour drive or so from Elsworth. Weekends would be easily doable.”

  Weekends. With Rachel. The thought appealed to him. And he’d already checked out the distance between their respective small towns. Definitely doable. “I don’t know, Michelle. What if Molly starts to read too much into the relationship? I’d hate to see her get hurt.”

  Or Rachel. The memory of her collapsing in the hospital flashed by. Or me.

  Michelle sighed and shook her head. “You can’t protect her from everything. Besides, you ought to know by now exactly how resilient the human heart is.”

  James leaned back in the chair, stretching his legs out and crossing them at the ankles. He laced his fingers together and cupped his head in his palms. Crickets chirped, competing with the occasional throaty croak of a frog along the lake’s edge. The wood smoke smelled pleasant. “I don’t even know if she’d want to keep seeing me, Michelle. For all I know, she’s fine with the whole summer romance thing we originally agreed to.”

  “You’ll never know if you don’t ask. For once in your life, take a risk, James.” The sound of little-girl giggles drifted around the cabin, followed by Nolan’s mock roar, and then, high-pitched shrieks. Michelle laughed. “Maybe you’ll get as lucky as I did.”

  A few trial weekends. He and Molly could visit Rachel’s house; she could stay with them. In the guest room. He wouldn’t give the wrong impression to Molly—even if they were sleeping together, they weren’t going to be “sleeping together.”

  He leapt from the chair and bolted in the direction of Rachel’s cabin, hoping to catch her before she even finished packing. And hoping she’d agree to keep seeing him. “Be right back! Keep an eye on Molly for me!”

  “James!” Michelle yelled after him. “Don’t run in the dark. You’ll fall!”

  Quite possibly.

  And the thought didn’t scare him as much as he’d expected.

  He slowed to a trot outside her cabin, vaulted up the steps and onto her porch. He rapped on the door, then opened it. “Rachel?”

  “In the bedroom. Come on in, James.”

  He found her packing—again, though this time she was more organized. Her dresser didn’t look as if it had exploded. She turned from placing something into her suitcase and offered him a slight smile. “Did you bring me more fireflies?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I brought you something else.”

  “Oh?”

  He crooked his finger at her from the doorway. “Come over here.”

  When she was close enough, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. She tipped her head, looking up at him. Closing the space between them slowly, he leaned forward and eased his lips against hers. For several minutes they kissed, her hands fastened tightly on the points of his collar as she held him near. Finally he rested his forehead against hers. “Ah, sweet Rachel. Any regrets?”

  “No,” she said softly. “Well, just one.” She smiled at him.

  “What’s that?”

  “I wish we’d had another chance—” she broke eye contact and her cheeks flushed “—to make love.”

  He ran his fingers along her back. “So do I. Maybe we can do something about it.”

  “Isn’t everyone waiting at the campfire?”

  “I’m not talking about right now.” He lifted his head from hers and took her hands in his. “Rachel, two weeks isn’t enough. I want more than this. I was hoping you’d agree to see me on weekends in the future.”

  “Weekends?”

  “Yep. We could take turns. One weekend you come to my place, one weekend Molly and I come to yours.” He searched her eyes for a hint of reaction as she stared at him. “Well?”

  A broad smile broke across her face and she nodded. “I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.” Her fingers tightened around his.

  “Great,” he said, lowering his mouth toward hers again. “Then tonight isn’t goodbye. It’s just, see you soon.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  MOLLY HAD BEEN BORED ever since camp had ended two weeks ago. Okay, Gram had taken her to the movies and Grandpa had played videogames with her, but compared to Camp Firefly Wishes, all that was snore city. At least now things were looking up.

  “This is it?” she asked, bouncing on the back seat as her dad turned into the driveway. She peered through the gathering darkness, trying to make out the color of the building. This was too cool. They were spending the weekend with Miss Rachel. At her house! Cherish had assured her via e-mail that this was a good sign. Maybe her get-a-new-mom plan would be a success. Molly crossed her fingers. She’d just have to keep encouraging things.

  “Yep, this is it.” Dad eased to a stop.

  Molly already had one hand on the door, the other on the seat belt release.

  “Hold it. I want you to remember all the things we talked about. Good manners, good behavior, all that?”

  Molly rolled her eyes. Like she’d forget to make a good impression on the woman she wanted for a mom? “Yes, Dad. You remember your promise, too, right? No calling me Unsinkable and absolutely no disinfecting. You left the spray at home, right? You’ll make Miss Rachel feel bad if you do that at her house.” And Molly didn’t want that. No matter what, she’d be sure her dad made a good impression this weekend, too.

  The front door of the duplex opened and the light on the porch flicked on. Miss Rachel stood framed in the right-hand doorway. She waved at them.

  Molly grabbed her backpack and tumbled out of the SUV. Dad followed, going around to the back to grab his bag. She raced up the steep porch stairs. “Hi, Miss Rachel. We’re here!”

  She smiled. “So I see.”

  “Sorry we’re so late. I had appointments tonight, and one quasi-emergency,” Dad said.

  “Not a problem. I’m glad you could make it. Come on in.” She ushered them inside, right into the living room. Miss Rachel’s house was tiny compared to theirs. Two archways opened in the opposite wall, one going into a dining room, and the other had a couple of steps up to a little landing. The smell of something
yummy drifted through the air. A calico cat jumped off the back of the sofa and whisked past Molly’s feet, darting up the stairs.

  “Cool! You have a cat.”

  A funny, strangling noise gurgled low in her father’s throat and Molly knew what he was thinking. Cat boxes. Germs.

  “That’s Peggy Sue. She’s not big on people, so don’t take it personally.”

  “What smells so good?” Molly tossed her backpack onto the couch and sniffed the air again.

  “I’m making a cake.” Miss Rachel turned toward Dad and made an apologetic face. “I hope you don’t mind, but there’s a picnic tomorrow afternoon at my father’s house. My brother, Sloan, is visiting with his two girls, and Dad decided it was a good opportunity for a family get-together. We don’t have to go if you don’t want, but I thought maybe Molly would like the chance to play with my nieces.”

  “That’s fine. I’d like to meet the man who scared your hair-pulling first-grade teacher.” James smiled at her. Meeting her family would go a long way toward satisfying the curiosity he still had, the desire to know everything about her.

  Rachel spent the next few minutes giving them a tour. The first floor held the living room, dining room and kitchen, with an enclosed porch that ran along the back of the house. The most interesting feature of the house was the steps. From the living room, there were two up to a little landing, then, if you went straight, two more back down into the kitchen, but if you turned left, you could climb to the second floor. James and Molly had never seen anything quite like it.

  “This is where you’ll be sleeping, Molly,” Rachel said as they passed the bathroom at the top of the stairs. She opened a bedroom door and stepped inside.

  Daniel’s room. And James was willing to bet she hadn’t changed a thing since her son’s death. Yet there wasn’t a speck of dust on any of the furniture. Either she’d cleaned for their arrival, or she kept the room spotless as a sort of memorial. Light blue walls, a bedspread and matching curtains covered with yellow dump trucks and bulldozers, a short bookshelf that held dozens of children’s books. The sight of the Fisher-Price school bus on the top of the shelf kicked James square in the chest. He remembered Daniel’s wish: to go to kindergarten on a big yellow bus.