Crescendo

by Kaitlin Maitland

  Although just being with him and Seth meant she was involved in two different relationships.

  Opening the fridge, he snagged a bottle of his favorite microbrew. Popping the top, he rested against the countertop so he could keep an eye on the sizzling stir-fry.

  Joshua had never spent much time considering whether or not being with two men was complicated for the women he and Seth dated. Given that Leslie was getting double the attention and never went unsatisfied in the bedroom, he"d figured it was a good deal. Now something Seth had said at the beginning of this whole scenario rang true. They"d never managed to find a woman who responded equally to both of them. Usually a woman either consciously or unconsciously preferred one or the other.

  In fact, he could take that line of reasoning a step further and admit that most of the women in their collective past had gravitated toward Seth. Joshua was the bad boy, the one who seemed dangerous, the teaser, and the chronic boundary pusher. While women might think that was a sexy list of traits, they gravitated toward Seth"s rock-steady personality for any long-term attachments. It was his 102

  Kaitlin Maitland

  overtly domineering presence they wanted to keep around, not Joshua"s seemingly apathetic one.

  He caught the scent of something burning and swept the wok off the stove before it could go up in flames. Grabbing a couple of plates, he ladled stir-fry over small mounds of brown rice. This was where his culinary inclinations ended. Dining in style at the table wasn"t his preferred method. He was more of an eat-at-the-counter guy.

  Before the plates could touch the placemats on the countertop, Leslie was climbing onto her barstool. He suppressed a grin at her choice of loungewear. She"d been digging in Seth"s drawers this time. Judging from the Harvard logo on her hip, she"d had to dig pretty deep to find something. He couldn"t remember the last time he"d seen Seth wear a pair of college sweats.

  He gave her a fork. “You prefer his to mine?”

  She tucked into her dinner, not even sparing him a glance. “Last time I borrowed without asking, you acted like I was going to skank them up or something.”

  He was momentarily speechless. He kept shoveling food into his mouth to give it something to do. His mind was busily running through their conversations. Had he actually said something like that?

  She arched an eyebrow. “I believe your response to my apology for using your sweats was to tell me that they would wash.”

  He vaguely remembered that exchange. Washing was what you did after something was worn. He hadn"t meant it as an insult. The truth was that he"d purposely not washed those since she"d worn them. He liked her scent on his clothing.

  “I lived with a gay roommate for years. If I had time to lounge at all, I did it in a T-shirt and panties.” She bit into a piece of steak, closing her eyes as if to savor the taste. “So I"ve been borrowing because my wardrobe is lacking in that department.”

  Crescendo

  103

  Joshua was trying to get over the mental picture of Leslie waltzing through their apartment in a fitted T-shirt with her perky breasts bobbing and her round bottom peeking out. His cock stirred to life behind his fly. “I have no objection to that form of loungewear, you know.”

  “This apartment is ten times the size of my other one. It"d feel like running around in public in my underwear.”

  The silence that settled between them seemed less hostile as they both finished up their dinner. He wondered if he should just let it be, but something told him it was important not to let it go unmentioned.

  Leslie slid down from the barstool and carried her plate to the sink. He watched her slender form as she reached gracefully for a glass from the cabinet and filled it with ice and water from the fridge.

  “Why were you late tonight, Leslie?”

  She looked away, through the living room toward the windows. “Didn"t know I had a curfew.”

  “You don"t.” He shifted, putting his body between her and escape. “What kept you?”

  She drained the glass in one long swallow. “I told you, I had stuff to do.”

  What was left of his heart shriveled. “Look, living here doesn"t commit you to some kind of monogamous relationship. But if you"re seeing someone else, I"m going to find out who so I can be honest with Seth.”

  Her entire body went eerily still. “Is that what you think? That I met some other guy after work for a quickie?”

  Okay, so it sounded ridiculous out loud. Not an hour ago, the whole thing had made sense.

  “As if I have the time or the energy for another set of male issues.”

  104

  Kaitlin Maitland

  Joshua felt like a fool. Like the worst kind of fool. But the signals were there.

  She wasn"t telling him something. And damned if he"d just let it go. “If not that, then what?”

  “Then what, what?”

  He closed the distance between them, and her scent enveloped him in a whirlwind of desire and emotion. It flooded his senses, waking every nerve ending until he felt electric with the current between them. His hands knew every curve, the silky texture of her skin, the resilience of her soft body, the way her flesh yielded beneath his. That alone was almost enough to shatter his self-control.

  She heaved a shuddering sigh. “I wish Seth were here.”

  Her words were a knife in his gut. He swallowed thickly. “Do you prefer him that much? Am I that bad?”

  Her eyes shot upward, their gazes locking. “No! It"s not me. You"ve been against me from that first night. At least you are at times. At other times, I"m not sure at all.”

  Some lawyer he was. He couldn"t come up with anything to refute her accusation. Was he really against her? Or just the emotional turmoil she could leave behind?

  “I just wish I knew what I"d done, Joshua.”

  That was easy enough to answer. “You left. You already left once. What"s to stop you from doing it again? You don"t know what that did to him. I won"t let it happen again.”

  Her words came out so softly he had to lean closer to hear. “I had to leave.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I wanted to stay.” There were tear tracks down both her cheeks.

  “Sweetheart, that doesn"t make a damn bit of sense.”

  She straightened, rolling her shoulders and taking a deep breath. “I don"t believe in long-term attachments.”

  Crescendo

  105

  He mulled this over in his mind. “So you left because Seth wanted something more than casual sex?”

  “I left because there"s no such thing as more than casual sex.” Her voice took on a slightly desperate note. “Don"t you get it? People hang out, and they fuck. They can slap whatever label they want on it because it"s all just fun. You can"t get attached. Eventually that person will find someone else they want to have fun with.

  When that happens, you"ll be left clinging to something that was never as much as you thought it was.”

  Joshua began to get the sense that this went further back than he"d thought.

  In fact, he suspected it went as far back for her as his and Seth"s relationship went for them. This was what Seth had sensed. This was the common thread.

  “I"ll spend as much time as you want in your bed, Joshua. But I"m not going to let you near my heart.”

  Despite the fact that her claim was ludicrous, her words wounded him. It seemed she was trying every way she knew how to protect herself from the very thing he was trying to protect Seth from. It all came back around to heartbreak.

  Damn Seth for leaving town and leaving me to deal with this!

  Joshua had never felt so inadequate in his life. How was he supposed to fix this situation? He didn"t even know where to start. He could tell Leslie they weren"t going to drop her for the next piece of tail until he was blue in the face. In reality, only time could lay her fears to rest.

  106

  Kaitlin Maitland

  Chapter Twelve

  It was a stalemate. Leslie was
still reeling over Joshua"s accusation that she"d found a random guy for some afternoon delight. Was he crazy? When the hell did she have time for guy number three?

  Why, oh why, had she told him that bit about long-term relationships? He didn"t deserve that much insight into her life. Her head pounded, her heart thundered, and her temper was about to blow. He really shouldn"t have poked at her. She was a redhead after all.

  “Now I wish Seth was here.” He rubbed his hands down his face.

  Somehow his words deflated her anger. His obvious helplessness moved her to giggles. “Why do you miss him?”

  “I"m no good at this touchy-feely shit. That"s his department.”

  She wasn"t buying it. She poked him hard in the middle of his bare chest, trying not to be distracted by his incredibly sexy abdominal muscles. “Don"t give me that, Joshua Breckenridge. You can"t bullshit me. You pretend to be indifferent, but you"re not. If you were, you"d order takeout instead of cooking, you wouldn"t try to micromanage my eating habits, and it wouldn"t matter to you whether or not I broke Seth"s heart into five zillion pieces. It does, so you"re not indifferent; you"re just a jerk.”

  It was as if someone threw a switch. His expression went from frustrated to uncertain. Tension knotted its way along his arms as he reached up to scratch his chin.

  Something shifted between them. Joshua had always kept a tight hold on his feelings, but it was as though he"d torn down an emotional barrier. Love, anger, Crescendo

  107

  hope, and even fear swirled together in a roiling mass that threatened to pull her under. Feeling edgy, she backed off a step. As if he understood the need for physical distance, Joshua turned and walked into the living room.

  It was night outside, the city lights twinkling on the streets below. It looked nothing like the vibrant, dirty, and sometimes dangerous place she knew Boston to be. In life, nothing was ever what it seemed to be.

  Joshua stared at the view below their building. “Did Seth ever tell you why we live this way and choose to share our relationships?”

  Drawn by curiosity, Leslie took several steps toward him. “Just the basic history, that you"d been friends forever, and that you both had a thing for voyeurism.”

  His chuckle was rich with layers of bitterness. “My parents shipped me to a boarding school in Vermont when I was in kindergarten. There weren"t a lot of boarders my age. The other students went home every day, which meant we didn"t have much in common. So I kept to myself. By fourth grade, Seth and a dozen or so other boys had started boarding. One of them was a big brute of a kid named Terrence.” He stared down at his hands, clenching them into fists. “Terrence the Terror. He used to beat the shit out of us in the bathrooms when the teachers weren"t there. Then he"d threaten us not to tell.”

  Leslie fought the urge to go to him. It had happened a long time ago. But he didn"t tell it that way. It was as if it had happened yesterday, and the pain he felt gnawed at her heart in a way she didn"t understand.

  “Seth was the smallest in our class back then, and Terrence really had it in for him. Even then I admired Seth"s tenacity. He took the beatings day in and day out and never said a word. Not me. I couldn"t stand it anymore. So one day, when Terrence was in the bathroom beating on Seth, I jumped on his back and started pounding on him.”

  108

  Kaitlin Maitland

  She was beside him now, staring up at the expressions flickering across his face in the mottled light from the windows. She could almost picture miniature versions of Seth and Joshua ganging up on a bully.

  “I"d like to say I went in like an MMA fighter and just dominated him, but he probably would"ve turned the tables on me pretty fast if Seth hadn"t stuck his foot out and tripped the kid. Terrence went down and knocked his face on one of the sinks. He lost two permanent front teeth and got a concussion. His parents pulled him out of school the following week, and Seth and I became joined at the hip.”

  “Still doesn"t explain the desire to cohabitate,” Leslie said softly.

  He was struggling with something. She wondered if he was violating some kind of confidence between him and Seth. “It"s really none of my business, if you think Seth wouldn"t want you to tell me this story.”

  “If it"d been up to him, he probably would"ve told you all of this already. It"s me that hasn"t been ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  He didn"t answer her question. “I didn"t realize until I met his father why Seth would lie down and let a bully beat the shit out of him.”

  A lump formed in her throat. Instinct told her it was only going to get worse.

  “His father was the worst kind of drunk. They were old money, as far back as the first colonists, I think. The old man used to rave that they were descended from kings. Of course, he might"ve been talking about his horses. He was that crazy.”

  Tears burned Leslie"s eyes, and she dug her nails into her palms. She didn"t want to hear any more, but she knew he had to get it out.

  “The old man got roaring drunk the second night we were there and took a horse whip to Seth"s backside. I was in the bedroom, and I could hear him screaming in the study. I didn"t even have to think. I kicked the door open and knocked the old man on his ass. I took the whip right out of his hand. I wanted to beat him with it. Seth wouldn"t let me. So I got right down in his father"s face and told him I"d kill him if he ever did it again.”

  Crescendo

  109

  Her throat was thick with tightly leashed emotion. There was something she had to say. “Having an awful past doesn"t mean the two of you can"t find healthy relationships separate from each other.”

  His tousled blond hair fell over his forehead. “Is that what you think we should do? Do you think we should find two different women and settle down in some monotonous, normal relationship?”

  It was a question that deserved some consideration. Would they be better off in normal relationships instead of trying to balance the rule of three? Would she be better off if, at the end of the day, it was just her and Seth in the bed together?

  Was she insane? She shouldn"t be contemplating any long-term attachments.

  But the truth was she couldn"t imagine life without either of them. They were yin and yang, dark and fair, forceful and protective, blunt and subtle. Like two sides of the same coin, they functioned better as a pair.

  She finally told him, “I don"t think I can be objective about that.”

  “Why?”

  Was it possible to plunge off an emotional cliff? “Because I"d have a hard time giving up either one of you.”

  Joshua didn"t speak, instead reaching out and crushing her to his chest before he lowered his mouth to hers in a kiss unlike anything she"d experienced from him before. He was usually the one who took it slow and easy. This was primal, lips parting and teeth clicking as their tongues tangled together.

  Her center began to melt, arousal snaking its way through her muscles until she was nearly crawling up his chest to get closer. She wanted more, needed more, his heat, his hands, and his body staking its claim on hers.

  He trailed a line of kisses down her neck. She felt as though her heart might burst. “Please, Josh, make love to me.”

  His hands found the hem of her shirt; he pulled it over her head and flung it aside. Seconds later, her bra followed and then her breasts were in his hands. He 110

  Kaitlin Maitland

  used his mouth to caress each nipple in turn. His teeth nipped the sensitive flesh, tugging at the elongated buds until she was moaning with her head flung back in abandon.

  He skated one big palm down her belly, the other supporting her back as he traced her hips and reached around to cup her ass through Seth"s bulky sweats. She thought of him, their third, and missed him to the point of pain.

  “Think of him, Leslie. Think of Seth,” Joshua said as he shimmied the sweatpants down her legs. “Imagine him watching from the chair, wrapping his big cock in his hand and pumping his shaft so you can watch him masturbat
e while I fuck your sweet pussy.”

  The erotic suggestion caused a surge of lust that nearly sent her over the edge of climax. She turned to face the loveseat and gripped the arm, her fingers biting into the fabric as she arched her back and begged without words for Joshua to take her.

  He ran one hand over her backside and spread her cheeks to bare her pussy to the cool air. “Sweetheart, you"re wet enough to drown my cock in your juices.”

  Two fingers slid through her slit, straddling her labia and teasing a trail of havoc from clit to anus. Her vagina flexed, the muscles primed for his penetration.

  Cream created a slippery trail down her inner thighs.

  “Are you begging or demanding?” He ground his palm against her mound until she moaned.

  Beg, demand, she didn"t care. He was positioned behind her, and she wanted his long, sweet cock in her pussy. As his broad head bumped her slick opening, she nearly wept with relief. Wiggling her hips, she tried to make him hurry. In contrast, he seemed determined to draw out the process.

  “So hot, so tight, so ready for me.” His voice was rough as he clamped his hands on her hips and forced her to hold still.

  Crescendo

  111

  Inch by agonizing inch, he pushed into her tight cunt. The long stroke sent shockwaves of friction through her vagina until she was balanced on the edge of climax.

  “Joshua!” She came with his cock fully seated and his balls pressed lightly against her clit.

  He groaned and bent over, his chest brushing her arched back. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he held her close and began to thrust deeply into her body.

  Every stroke pushed deep, hitting her sweet spot until stars burst behind her eyelids.