The Standby Guy

by Natasha Moore

  “He sent me a text last week about it.” She sniffed. “But I am glad he found something so quickly.”

  “This is a huge change for him, and it sounds like he’s keeping busy. I’m sure that’s all it is.”

  Katie grabbed another handful of candy and tossed it in her mouth all at once. The crunch was nearly deafening.

  Carter pulled out his phone. “I’ll call him.”

  Katie’s gaze didn’t leave him, as if she was afraid he was just humoring her. The call went straight to voicemail. “Hey, Sean-man. Calling to check on how things are going at school. Give me a call when you get a chance.”

  “See what I mean? He doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

  “Kat, he has classes. Homework. Friends. A job.” Carter cupped her jaw, and he considered it a victory when she didn’t pull away. At least her worry about Sean had cut through any potential awkwardness between them. “What’s going on? I’ve never known you to be a worrier.”

  She patted the hand cradling her cheek, then sat back in her chair, breaking the contact. “I know. I guess it’s because he’s so far away. I can’t look him in the eye and see how he’s really doing. I can’t even listen to the tone of his voice if he’s not going to call me. And honestly, I…I didn’t think he’d completely ignore me.”

  And there’s the real issue. “I’m sure he’s just busy.”

  “Or there’s something wrong and he doesn’t want me to know it.” Tears shone in her eyes.

  Katie hopped up from her chair. Carter stood and took her in his arms. She clung to him. He’d been afraid she might have been taking this empty-nest situation a little too smoothly. Did it say anything that it caught up with her the day after they’d spent the night together?

  Katie didn’t linger in his arms. She cleared her throat and stepped away. “Sorry. You know I hate to get all emotional.”

  And there was the awkwardness. He shouldn’t have put his arms around her. “Nothing wrong with a little emotion.”

  “You’ll let me know if you hear something from him?”

  He could feel her pushing him away as strongly as if she’d used her hands. “Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Have you said anything to Sean about us dating?” He’d almost mentioned it to him when they talked on Friday.

  “Of course not,” she snapped.

  “Don’t you think he might hear something from one of his friends or see the pictures online?”

  She shrugged. “He told me he thought the village page was boring and never checked it out. And I doubt he talks with his friends about parents.”

  “He’ll be pissed if he hears about it from someone else first.”

  “It’s not even real. We’ll be broken up before he comes home, so it’s best if he doesn’t know anything about it.”

  Carter didn’t think it was a good idea, but… “He’s your son.”

  “Yes, he is.” She didn’t look him in the eye. Her gaze bounced around the room. “How long did you say you’re going to be gone?”

  “Should be back Saturday.” Guess it was a good thing he was going to be away for a few days. It would give them a chance for things to get back to normal.

  “I’m busy this week, too. Senior photos.”

  Yeah, it was better to have a little cooling-off period. Because otherwise he’d be even more tempted to pull her into his arms again— He brushed that thought away.

  “At least there will be no need for us to be pretending for the next few days,” Katie added, her voice tight.

  He probably shouldn’t say anything more, but they’d always been truthful with each other, and they were too old to be playing games. “It doesn’t feel like pretending anymore.”

  She finally looked at him. “I know. That’s the problem.”

  “Last night wasn’t pretending. It wasn’t any damn practice, either.”

  She bit her lip. “Carter…”

  The hell with this. Carter hooked his arm around her waist and tugged her against him. Her hands flew to his shoulders, her eyes open. He whispered her name and then claimed her lips. He could taste the chocolate and the sweet candy on her tongue. For an agonizing moment, she was frozen, but in the next second, she was devouring him, tearing at his shirt and whimpering his name.

  He backed her against the door, not wanting to give her a chance to make excuses. In the back of his mind, he remembered she’d wanted it this way, and in an even farther part he wondered if she’d added sex against the door to her Katie list that morning. He didn’t want to know.

  She was wearing a shirt with tiny buttons running up the front. Their fingers tangled as they both struggled with the stupid things. Laughing. Breathing fast. He was so hard for her, maybe even more than he’d been the night before. Finally she gave up, and while he tried to get rid of the shirt without tearing those tiny buttons off, she reached for his belt buckle.

  Her phone rang.

  Katie cried out and caught his gaze for only a split second before she pushed him away. She scrambled for the phone she’d left on the table. “Sean! Sweetheart. Are you okay?”

  Carter worked to get his breathing under control. His jeans were tight. He kept his hands on his hips and his eyes on Katie. When she turned her back on him, he fought the urge to growl in frustration. He leaned back against the door as she listened to whatever Sean was saying. Carter was relieved that, from the smile on her face, Sean apparently was okay. She turned back to face Carter when she started to talk again.

  “I’m fine. Carter and I are having coffee. Yeah, he’s right here.” She caught his gaze. “You want to talk to him? Oh. Okay, I’ll tell him.” She cleared her throat and dropped the phone to her side. “Sean said he’ll call you when we’re done talking, so if you want to get ready for your trip…”

  In other words, she wanted him out of there.

  “I should go home then.” His voice was flat. It was either that or let his frustration show, but that wouldn’t help either one of them feel any better.

  “Yeah. Um, you have a good trip tomorrow.” Her gaze bounced around the room before she turned around again and resumed her conversation with Sean.

  “Sure.” Carter turned and walked out the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  The sun had gone down, and Katie sat cross-legged on her sofa, a glass of wine on the coffee table and a soft pop station playing from her phone. On her lap was a photograph album she’d pulled out of the hope chest in the dining room. After finally talking to Sean, she’d been hit with a wave of nostalgia so strong she could barely catch her breath. She hoped flipping through the baby pics would help her get over it. Or at least give her a reason to get all teary-eyed besides wishing she could keep her son with her forever.

  Even though she knew it wouldn’t be good for him. And she really didn’t want him with her forever anyway, but right now thinking about the items on her list didn’t make her feel any better.

  She didn’t want to dwell on the roller-coaster ride of maternal emotions. Sometimes they had nothing to do with logic. Katie opened the album cover to reveal the first page. She sucked in a quick gasp at a picture of her and Tim on their first date.

  Look at those kids.

  It had been years since she’d looked at these old pictures. They’d been at the top of the Ferris wheel at the county fair. It was before selfies, of course, but she’d perfected the technique, knowing exactly the right angle to use when she turned her camera around to face them. She’d loved capturing special moments with her camera since she’d been old enough to hold one. She’d had a feeling at the time that that date could be the start of something big.

  There they were. Sixteen. Grinning like fools. Her hair pulled back in a long ponytail. Tim’s arm around her shoulders. A couple of kids with their whole lives ahead of them. They couldn’t know that in only a few years, Marv Ellis would be running late for second shift at the machine shop, blow through a stop sign, and T-bone Tim on his way to pick up Sean from day care.

&nb
sp; Tim had never been thrilled when Katie booked occasional photo shoots, even before the baby was born. He’d grown up in a very traditional household and thought she should stay home and take care of the apartment and his every need. And once Sean was born, Tim had been even more insistent. He worked for his dad at his service station, and they lived in an apartment in a house his parents owned. His parents sold everything and moved away after the accident. Their infrequent visits and phone calls to Sean had become even rarer as he got older. Another reason she’d been so grateful for the Colburns.

  Tim had made enough to take care of his family. He hated the idea of Katie working, but she hadn’t been able to resist that day. And because she’d been at a friend’s house taking photos of her brand-new baby girl, Tim drove into that intersection and lost his life.

  Katie had stopped blaming herself for the accident a long time ago, but on nights like this, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would have ever taken her photography any further than birthday parties and baby pictures if Tim had lived. He’d told her often enough that she was being selfish and her family had to come first. After living with a mother who’d always put her wants ahead of her daughter’s, Katie’d been afraid he was right. She made a promise to herself to always put her son’s needs ahead of her own. That must have been why she’d put off all those things she’d wanted to do.

  Except photography, but that became a business out of necessity.

  She brushed her finger over a picture she’d taken of Tim standing beside the old Chevy he’d bought after saving up for months. Seventeen, a year younger than Sean was now. Tim’s thick brown hair had always flopped over his forehead. She’d loved to use the excuse to touch him when she pushed it back. Sean’s eyes stared back at her from the photo, so like his father’s. Their smiles were similar, too, and that long-limbed, gangly body. Sean was much more laid back than Tim had been, but there were days when she’d catch a quick glimpse of her son and she’d swear for a second that it was her young husband.

  Carter had surprised her when he said he thought she was still pining for Tim. She’d loved him like mad, of course. He was her first love, but he’d also expected her to spend all her time taking care of him and Sean. No wonder her me time was so precious now.

  She flipped through the rest of the album. There were a few photographs of Tim and Carter together. And Sean as a baby, tucked in the laundry basket she used to carry him around in until he outgrew it. There were a couple of photos of Tim playing around on the floor with Sean. But soon the pictures were of Sean alone. Or with Carter. As she flipped through the rest of the album, she was surprised how many pictures included Carter. She shouldn’t have been. He’d always been there for Sean.

  As her business grew, Katie had taken less family pictures at home. The next album contained the milestones, Sean’s birthdays and holidays, but not so many silly or sweet pictures. And as things had shifted to digital, she’d seldom printed out the pictures she did take. But there on the last page was a full page photograph of Sean in his cap and gown she’d taken only a couple of months ago.

  “You’d be so proud of our boy, Tim,” she whispered.

  Katie couldn’t help but worry about Sean now. He told her everything was fine, but she didn’t know if she could trust his words. Something about the tone of his voice. Was it mother’s intuition, or was she looking for problems where there were none?

  Her phone rang, and Katie glanced at the screen before she answered. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Married, Katherine? You’re finally getting married again! Why couldn’t you call and let me know? I shouldn’t have to find out online.”

  She rubbed the headache that was forming between her brows. “Who told you I was getting married? Because I’m not.”

  Her mother huffed. “But the post on the village page said so, right by that picture of you and Carter.”

  Katie barked out a small laugh. “You know what a rumor mill Lakeside is. You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.”

  “You’re not getting married to Carter Colburn?”

  Didn’t her mother hear her the first time? “No.”

  “I don’t understand why you don’t want a man in your life.”

  Katie was exhausted. Tired after the roller coaster of emotions she’d been on that day. Tired of having the same conversation with her mother every time they spoke. “I know. You’ve never understood me. I’ve never understood you. I guess that’s just the way it’s going to be.”

  “Well, that sounds sad. It’s not that I don’t love you, dear.”

  “I know. I love you, too.”

  “While I have you on the phone, then, tell Sean we need his help taking in all the patio furniture. Lawrence is getting too old to handle it all by himself.”

  “Mom, Sean is in Ohio. He’s in college now, remember?”

  “Already? All right, Lawrence will have to ask his grandson then. I can’t believe Sean is so far away. He’ll make a life in Ohio and we’ll never see him again.”

  Not that her mother wanted to see him all that much unless he could help them around the house. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

  “You wait and see. What makes you think you understand him any more than I understand you?”

  Her mother was right. She had no idea what Sean was thinking. Katie said goodbye to her mom and looked again at the picture of Sean in his cap and gown. What was going on in that boy’s mind?

  Before she thought twice, she dashed out her back door and knocked on Carter’s. She pounded on it a couple of more times before he yanked open the door. His jeans were unbuttoned, and his chest and feet were bare. Her mouth went dry. Her mind went right back to how quickly things had gotten hot and heavy earlier. If Sean’s phone call hadn’t interrupted them, she knew they would have had sex right there in her kitchen. Up against the door. She would have had her hands and her mouth on that bare chest. It was a good thing they’d been interrupted. There were too many emotions involved in having sex with Carter.

  He took her shoulders. “What’s the matter, Kat? Are you okay?”

  His hands were warm on her skin. She realized she was in a skimpy tank and loose shorts. It wasn’t that late, was it? She swallowed and nodded. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

  “Fell asleep in the chair, watching TV.” He let go of her and backed up. “Come on in. What’s wrong?”

  She stepped into his kitchen. The layout was identical to hers, but his had unique touches like the salvaged metal light fixture over the table and the polished wood island that had started its life in some old factory. Carter gestured to the reclaimed stools that were tucked under one end of the island, but she couldn’t sit right now.

  “Did you talk to Sean?”

  “Yeah, we had a nice talk.”

  Nice? “What did he tell you? Is he having problems? Should I be worried?”

  “Whoa. Take it easy. I can tell you’re already worried.” Carter frowned. “Didn’t he tell you he’s okay?”

  “Yeah, but there was something in his voice.” She’d heard it before, when Sean had been avoiding a subject he didn’t want to talk about. “I think there might be something wrong, but he doesn’t want me to know.”

  “Mother’s intuition?”

  “Something like that. Did he say anything to you?”

  Carter crossed his arms over that incredible chest. “If Sean had told me he was having a problem, I would have let you know.”

  “Even if he made you promise not to tell me?”

  “I would never agree to keep something like that from you. You know that. You’re his mother.” He sounded hurt, and Katie couldn’t blame him. Carter had been great with Sean. He was the one who’d taught him how to ride a bicycle, decipher algebraic equations, and handle a stick shift.

  “Oh. Okay. I mean, I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry.” What was wrong with her? “I didn’t realize how hard it would be to let go.” Sean had been her whole life for so many years.

  C
arter guided her over to the stools at the end of the island, and they sat next to each other at the counter. “When I was about Sean’s age, I told Pop he could stop worrying about me. He told me that he and Mom would worry about me until the day they died and they would never apologize for it. That’s what parents do, he said.”

  Katie doubted that her mother had ever worried about her unless it was when she’d get another husband. “Yeah, Pop is a smart man. But I wished I knew if I was worrying about him for nothing.”

  “All you can do is hope that you’ve raised Sean well enough that he’ll make the right decisions.”

  She rested her head in her hands. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “You’ve been a great mom, and you have raised him right. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong, but if there was, Sean would want to try to handle it on his own.” He tipped her chin with one finger and turned her head. His dark eyes locked on her gaze. “But I know he trusts you enough that he’ll come to you if he needs your help.”

  “He trusts you, too.” There wasn’t anyone else Katie trusted more.

  “I hope so.”

  Katie placed her hand on his. She was getting teary-eyed again and feeling a little gushy. Having a glass of wine while she looked at old photos hadn’t been the best of ideas. “I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for Sean over the years. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I appreciate it.”

  “I don’t need any thanks. Sean’s a great kid.”

  “Yeah, thanks to you.”

  “Thanks to both of us then.”

  Somehow they’d leaned closer to each other, close enough to kiss if either one leaned in a fraction of an inch. Carter murmured her name and cupped her jaw.

  She jerked away before she could give into temptation. They had to stay friends, nothing more. “I can’t.” She scrambled off the stool and stumbled back. “I just can’t. Good night, Carter.”

  He nodded and turned away. Katie hurried home and dumped the rest of the glass of wine down the sink. She needed a clear head. It would have been so easy to give in and take comfort and pleasure from Carter. But she couldn’t allow her life to get tangled up with his any more than it already was. God, he was even talking about a family. Children. She couldn’t even think about it.