Parallel Visions

by Cheryl Rainfield

  Dad sits down and rubs his face with his hands. “I shouldn ’t have lost my temper. But that boy—I ’ve never liked him. And Jenna has withdrawn since she ’s been with him.” Dad sighs heavily, and looks at me. “Tell us what you ‘saw ’ again.”

  I crease my napkin in my hands, making and remaking a butterfly, and tell them what I saw. Tell them about the photo, the shattered glass. The beating. I don ’t tell them about Mason killing her—that would be too much for them to believe.

  Dad sits there quietly, not interrupting, his eyes dark, his jaw clenched, his hands clasped so tightly in front of him that the tips of his fingers are white. Mom ’s face looks almost bloodless, her eyes glassy with tears.

  “Whether or not your visions are real, ” Dad says once I finish, “I think you have a good sense about people. And Jenna looked miserable tonight. Elizabeth, what do you think?”

  “I think we ’re losing Jenna, ” Mom says in a warbly voice, propping her head up with her hands. “I never played favorites—but Kate ’s health took up more of my attention and time, and Mason ’s playing on that. And I didn ’t like what he said about Kate. I ’m worried about Jenna, Ian. Something ’s not right there.”

  I told you what ’s not right! I want to say, but I don ’t. That they ’re even considering that there might be truth to my visions amazes me. And the most important thing is that we protect Jenna.

  “What do we do?” I say. “Jenna won ’t admit he ’s hitting her. How do we get keep safe?”

  “Jenna and I haven ’t spent much time together since she eloped, ” Mom says. “Mason always comes with her. I think it ’s time I took her out for lunch on her own. Maybe she ’ll talk to me then.”

  “And I could invite Mason out for a beer at the same time, ” Dad says.

  I think about the way Jenna leaned into Mason, like he was protecting her from us—from me. “What if you can ’t get Jenna to tell you anything?” I ask.

  Mom massages her forehead. “I am not going to let a child of mine be hurt. I need to hear it from Jenna herself—but if I find out that Mason has been beating her, I will do serious bodily damage to that man, and that ’s a promise.”

  She stands and gathers dishes to take into the kitchen. They clatter in her hands.

  I jump up to help and Dad does, too. We clear the table silently, until all that ’s left is the big red stain on the tablecloth, dark as blood.

  TEN

  I lie on my bed, staring up at my flying-pigs origami mobile. I can ’t get Jenna ’s face out of my head, the way her eyes pleaded with me. I know she ’s hurting. Everyone can see that. But what if I ’m wrong? What if Mason ’s not the one hurting her? What if it ’s just me seeing something that ’s not real?

  My cell rings. Jenna. I take a deep breath and answer.

  “You need to back off, ” Jenna says, her voice thick. “Mason ’s becoming obsessive about you and the way you ’re trying to break us up. He begged me not to leave him. I ’ve never seen him like this. Whatever you think you saw, Kate, you have to stop talking about it.”

  “I ’m just trying to help.”

  “You want to help me? You really want to help? Then stop accusing Mason of hurting me. Stop telling everyone about it. Just stop, okay? You ’re making it worse.”

  She sounds so scared. “Why don ’t you come stay with us for a few days?”

  “Kate!” Jenna shouts, her voice cracking. “I mean it. Mom and Dad may let you do anything you want, but I won ’t. Just stop!”

  And she hangs up.

  I sit up, wanting to throw my phone across the room. I grab a piece of origami paper from my dresser and start folding and folding, trying to calm myself. I never saw my visions as a curse, but they ’re starting to feel like one now. Or maybe it ’s how I ’m using them. Maybe I shouldn ’t tell anyone about them. But how can I let Jenna keep getting beaten? At least Inez was helped by my visions, wasn ’t she?

  I text Gil. He doesn ’t respond right away.

  I fold and fold until I have paper butterflies and flying pigs all over my bed.

  And then my phone vibrates. I snatch it up.

  “Can ’t talk now. More l8tr.”

  This time I really do throw my cell across the room. Then I get up, take my nightly medicine, brush my teeth, and crawl into bed.

  I’m eating organic oatmeal with berries at the kitchen table when the doorbell rings. “I ’ll get it, ” Mom says, setting down her coffee mug .

  I hear voices and then Mom calls “Kate, it ’s for you!”

  Nobody ever comes to see me. I walk out to find Mom standing at the door beside Gil, a bemused look on her face.

  “Oh! Mom, this is Gil. Gil, this is my mom, ” I say.

  “Yes, we ’ve met, ” Mom says dryly.

  Gil shuffles his feet. “I thought I could walk you to school.” He looks at my mom. “That is, if that ’s okay with you, Mrs. Robbins.”

  “It is if it ’s okay with Kate.”

  “I ’ll be right there!” I say. I race to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair, then grab my backpack. I turn and find Mom right behind me. “Did you take your medication?”

  “Yes. And I ’ve got my inhaler. I always do. Did Jenna say yes to lunch?”

  “No, ” Mom says, rubbing her shoulder. “She said she already had plans with Mason. Who ’s this Gil? I haven ’t heard about him before.”

  “He ’s a boy at school...he helped me the other day when I had the asthma attack, ” I say quickly. “He ’s really nice.”

  Mom smiles. “He is, is he?”

  “Yes! Gotta go. Bye, Mom!” I say, kissing her cheek. I head out the door before she can say anything else.

  Gil glances at me as we walk. “I didn ’t mean to make things awkward.”

  “You didn ’t. My mom ’s just really protective, especially after my sister eloped last year. And I hadn ’t got around to telling her about you yet. It was crazy here last night.”

  Gil looks more subdued than usual and he has dark circles beneath his eyes.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask.

  Gil looks at me grimly. “I ’m sorry I couldn ’t talk last night. Inez was sobbing about wanting to die, but she couldn ’t bear to hurt Nana and me. It was a long night. I wish I could kill the bastards who raped her.”

  I reach for his hand. “I ’m so sorry.”

  “Nana made a big jug of lemonade and we sat on Inez ’s bed with her, holding her while she cried. She was pretty wrung out, and she still won ’t see a counselor or even call a crisis line. But at least she hasn ’t done anything yet. I have you to thank for that.” He squeezes my hand. “How ’s your sister?”

  “Not good. She ’s so unhappy, but she won ’t admit that anything ’s going on. And then she acted like Mason ’s the one who ’s protecting her from me. It ’s so confusing. She said I ’m hurting her marriage. I just don ’t know, Gil. Maybe my visions only make things worse.”

  “You can ’t really believe that, ” Gil says, his hand tightening on mine. “If you hadn ’t told me about Inez, she might actually have—” Gil ’s voice chokes off. “Seriously, Kate—I will be grateful to you forever.”

  I should feel good but I don ’t . I try to smile at him, but I do it miserably.

  “What ’s wrong?” Gil asks.

  I shake my head. “It ’s stupid.”

  “No, tell me.”

  I shrug. “I just—I don ’t want you to be with me because you feel grateful. I want you to like me for me.”

  “I do!” Gil stops, and grabs both my arms. “You must know that ’s not why I ’m with you. I was drawn to you the first time I saw you making a paper dragon in class without Mrs. Sherman seeing it. And even more when I saw you give it to Jeremy after his father died. I like being near you. I feel good around you.”

  “Really?” I stare into his warm brown eyes.

  “Really.” He leans in and kisses me.

  I press myself up against him, thrilling at the
feeling. His strong arms hold me tight and I feel safe—safer and more loved than I have in a long time. I wonder if that ’s how Jenna felt with Mason at first.

  I break the kiss and bury my face in Gil ’s warm neck. I ’m so happy with Gil, but I feel guilty, too, especially when I think about how worried Jenna must be, now that she ’s pregnant. Even as we stand here, Mason could be beating her again. And I know she ’s not going to tell anyone. It ’s not just Jenna and Inez I have to protect now. It ’s Jenna ’s baby, too. I pull away reluctantly, a wheeze clawing at my chest.

  “What is it?” Gil says, touching my cheek.

  “I ’m worried about Jenna.”

  “I know you are.”

  And Gil’s worried about Inez. What if we haven ’t done enough for her? What if she still tries to kill herself? I grab Gil ’s hand and we start walking again. How can I know if we ’ve thwarted the worst for our sisters if I don ’t have another vision? I can ’t just wait for one to happen by itself.

  On an impulse, I let go of Gil ’s hand and shout, “Race you to school!”

  I run off down the street past empty houses, then a bus shelter, the sidewalk littered with cigarette butts. Ahead of me a mother walks her children to school, a car backs out of a driveway, an old woman bends down on her stoop to collect her mail.

  “Kate, wait!” Gil shouts, running after me.

  My wheezing gets louder, my breath shorter. My chest hurts with every breath.

  Gil grabs my arm, yanking me back. “You shouldn ’t be running, should you?”

  He’s too late. I bend over, coughing as my lungs narrow. Houses stare out at me with vacant eyes.

  Gil fumbles with my backpack, unzipping the front pocket. I need the vision to come. I can feel my sight shifting, the world around me getting fuzzy, and instead of fighting it, I relax my eyes.

  Mason pumps gas for a customer, and listens on his cell ’s earpiece as I call Jenna. He hears me asking if he ’s ever hurt her, if I can come over. “Badmouthing me, ” Mason mutters. He finishes with the customer and yanks out his cell, opening up his spyware. He clicks on the GPS option. “Yep. Jenna ’s still at home.”

  “Excuse me?” a customer says.

  “Nothing, ” Mason says. “Just talking to myself.”

  Gil hands me my inhaler. I suck in the medicine, holding it in my lungs as long as I can before I start coughing again. My chest hurts so badly, I fall to my knees. Gil holds me up, pushing the inhaler into my mouth. I use it again.

  “Is she okay?” a woman asks, stopping beside us, a bag of groceries in her hand. “Should I get help?”

  “I don ’t know! Her inhaler ’s supposed to help. Let ’s give it a minute to work, ” Gil says. “She lives just a block or two away.”

  “I ’m fine, ” I get out and wave her on.

  The woman watches me with doubtful eyes but she walks on, looking once over her shoulder at us.

  Mason calls a buddy to cover him, grabs flowers from the bucket near the door, then races home, driving through red lights, tires screeching, listening in as Jenna and I talk in the kitchen.”Jenna ’s bitch sister thinks she can fill Jenna ’s head with lies? What a piece of work. And Jenna just lets her? What kind of loyalty is that? After all I ’ve done for her. Just wait until I deal with her.”

  He wrenches open the apartment door, fixes a smile on his face, and makes nice with Jenna until Kate leaves. Then he lets Jenna have it. Beating her where no one will see it, kicking her ribs and her back until she doesn ’t even cry out any more. Then he tapes her wrists and drags her into the bedroom.

  I cough, straining for air.

  “I ’m going to call 911, ” Gil says, pulling out his cell.

  I grab his arm. “No.” I cough. “Getting better.” I suck on my inhaler again, willing the medicine to work.

  “Kate, ” Gil says, his voice tight.

  I shake my head, gasping, and hold up a finger. “Give me...a minute.” My chest loosens up a little.

  I cough again and drag in more air. “He ’s spying on her.” I cough.

  Gil crouches down in front of me. “Who? Your sister ’s husband?”

  I nod and cough some more. Use the inhaler again. No way am I going to the hospital. I can control it. “Spies on her, then hurts her.” Another cough.

  “Always have your cell on you!” Mason roars. “I want to be able to reach you any time I need you.”

  Jenna cringes, nodding.

  Mason smiles, fingering the cell in his jean ’s pocket.

  “I ’m taking you home, ” Gil says.

  “No. It ’s almost over, ” I say. “We have to help Jenna.”

  “Yeah, we do. But not like this.”

  ELEVEN

  I look up at Gil, confused. I cough again, and suck more air into my whistling lungs. “Like what?”

  Gil stands and pulls me up with him. His face is dark, his mouth tight. “You did this on purpose. You triggered an attack to get a vision.”

  Wow. I didn’t think he ’d know. Didn ’t think anyone would ever know. But I can ’t deny it. “Of course I did! I have to try to help her.” I cough harder, my chest tightening again.

  Inez strides home from school, repeatedly looking over her shoulder. Three teen boys follow her, school blazers flapping, shouting, “Lezzie ! Hey, dyke!”

  They drag her into an alley and ram her up against the wall. Inez punches and kicks them, but there are too many of them. One pins her arms while another unzips her pants.

  “You haven ’t had it with a real man yet. We ’ll make you like boys, you queer dyke.”

  Inez screams, punching at them, but they hold her down.

  “Kate!” Gil pushes my inhaler toward my mouth. “If this doesn ’t get better fast, I don ’t care what you say, I ’m calling 911.”

  “It ’s getting better!” I say, wheezing, and cough again.

  Inez rocks on her bed, arms wrapped tight around her stomach. “No one will believe me, ” she whispers to herself. “The lesbian who cries rape. Who doesn ’t like boys. Who asked for it.” Tears stream down her reddened cheeks. “Three upstanding boys against queer little me.” And then she gets up, lifts up her mattress, and pulls out a stash of hidden pills.

  “Don ’t you want to know what I saw about Inez?” I cough again, my chest aching, but my breathing is coming easier, now.

  “You know I do!” Gil yells, his eyes too bright. “But you can ’t keep doing this. How is it going to help Inez and Jenna if you kill yourself? Do you know how guilty they ’ll feel?”

  “They won ’t know! And I ’m not going to die.”

  “I ’ll know!” Gil jabs his chest.

  In the house across the street, someone pulls back the drapes and a face appears at the window.

  “I ’m sorry, ” I say. “I didn ’t know how else to do this.” I wheeze harder.

  I have to stay calm. I can talk in complete sentences again, which means I ’m out of the danger zone. But strong emotion can trigger another attack, or make this one worse. I breathe out. “Inez was gang-raped by some boys from school. They targeted her because she ’s queer. Said they could make her straight.”

  Gil’s hands clench. “Those bastards! Tell me who they are! I ’ll kill them!” A vein in his neck pulses.

  I’ve never seen him so angry. It should frighten me, after seeing what Mason ’s done to Jenna, but it doesn ’t feel the same. This is protective rage. “I didn ’t recognize them; I only know they ’re from school because of their jackets. They looked a year or two older than us.”

  “Can you pick them out of the yearbooks?” Gil asks hoarsely.

  “I don ’t know, ” I say. “But even if I could, that ’s up to Inez, not me. And I don ’t think she ’s ready for that.”

  “You ’re right. Damn it!” Gil slumps. “Maybe what you told me will help me help her. But neither Inez or Jenna would want you to kill yourself just to help them!” The vein in Gil ’s neck is pulsing again. “Was all that stuff you to
ld Inez about wanting to live just a lie? I won ’t let you hurt yourself like this again.”

  “It ’s not your choice. I have to try to help them if I can! If you could see what Mason ’s done to Jenna—”

  “So you call the police. You don ’t try to stop it yourself. And you don ’t risk your life by sparking an asthma attack. I like you, Kate. I like you a lot. But I won ’t watch you hurt yourself.”

  “Then don ’t watch, ” I say, wheezing.

  “All right, I won ’t!” Gil scowls. Then he turns and stalks off.

  The sky is grey with roiling clouds—exactly the way I feel. I walk to school alone, still wheezing.

  Every time I see Gil in the hall, at lunch, in class, his eyes grow dark, and he turns away. It ’s made the day feel agonizingly slow. I want to throw myself against him and tell him how sorry I am, just so he ’ll look at me again with soft eyes. But I can ’t.

  He’s right; it was risky, triggering that attack.

  But I found out important things that I wouldn ’t have known otherwise. I know why Inez wants to kill herself now. Maybe it ’ll help her heal if she talks about it. And I found out that Mason is spying on Jenna through her cell. That ’s why he came home early when I was at her place. That ’s how he knows what I ’ve been saying to her. And that ’s why he ’s been beating her even more—because of our conversations.

  I close my eyes, seeing Jenna again on the floor, curled up against the pain. She could lose the baby. Sustain internal injuries. Get a concussion. I know she can die. And I made it worse by telling her what I know while Mason listened in.

  I chew on my lip so hard I draw blood. I have to find a way to get Jenna out of there—without her phone.

  I look up at the wall clock. It ’s almost three. I know where I ’m going after school.

  I glance across the seats at Gil. His shoulder is hunched up away from me. I sigh softly and watch the clock until the bell rings. I don ’t even bother going to my locker; instead, I head out the heavy school doors into the warm afternoon. I make a wide circle around the kids smoking on the steps, squinting against the bright sun. Gil ’s already in the parking lot, a group of girls around him, laughing, talking, touching his shirt, trying to get his attention. For a moment I think he might turn to look at me, but he ignores me.