Fifty Shades of Puss in Boots (The Fifty Shades Of Jezebel Trilogy Book 2)
Page 10
They shook hands, the touch lingering. To Jezebel’s horror, tears filled her eyes, turning the sky into a watery mosaic of color.
“Are you crying, Jezebel?” Alice asked, touching her arm in a gesture of sincere concern.
“Crying?”
“You are,” Jack said. “That’s what it’s called when tears are running down your cheeks. What’s wrong?”
Jezzy shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just… I’m just so happy for you both.”
“For us both?” Alice asked. “Why?”
“Big Cock Billionaire Magazine here!”
Jezebel turned toward the voice and came eye-to-eye with the two carnival barkers from the Jerk and Shoot booth. The man with the hat held a microphone in front of her. The one wearing half a rabbit suit snapped a photo.
“Hatter? Hare?” said Alice. “You’re working for Big Cock Billionaire Magazine?”
“We had to find new jobs since you fired us,” said Hatter.
“And we can’t resist taking pictures of your lovely nakedness wherever it may turn up,” said the Hare.
“By the way, this one ain’t too shabby, either.” Hatter crooked a thumb at Jezzy. “I wouldn’t mind having a little tea party with her, if you know what I mean.”
“He means sex,” Hare said.
“I want to put my penis in your body,” Hatter said. “Anywhere at all.”
“He’d even do an armpit.”
“I’ve done armpits before.”
“How was it?”
Hatter shrugged. “It was the pits.”
Jezebel blinked back her tears and focused on the pair. They looked much the same as they had at the game booth, only this time, the Hatter was also sans pants, and his manhood rivaled the size of his microphone.
Jezebel tried to comfort herself with the fact that Big Cock Billionaire Magazine would be covering Jack and Alice’s wedding, but she knew that her tears weren’t happy ones.
Jezzy realized, finally, 28,000 words into this story, that she still had it bad for Jack.
And now?
Now it was too late.
“Why don’t we get a few pictures before we start the interview?” Hare said.
Jezzy turned away from the camera, doing her best to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“Certainly. Why don’t you start with the happy couple, Jack the Bean King and his lovely bride-to-be, Alice.”
“Bride-to-be?” echoed Alice.
“Bride-to-be?” echoed Jack.
“The two of you are perfect together,” Jezebel said, not wanting to pretend any longer. “I can see it. The whole of Fairytaleland can see it.”
“I can see it,” said Hatter.
“I can see it,” said Hare.
“I can see it,” said Hatter.
“You said that already.”
“The first time was for my left eye, the second time for my right eye.”
Hare nodded. “I can see it.”
“Jack is no doubt quite attractive,” Alice said. “But I’m already married.”
Jezebel’s face pinched. “You’re already married?”
“Sure. Remember Lewis from college?”
Jezzy thought back. “The guy who liked to wear your panties?”
“That’s him!” Alice pointed in the direction of the castle. Paparrazi crowded the red carpet, snapping photos of celebrities arriving for the ball. And sure enough there was Alice’s boyfriend from college dressed for the ball in a bow tie and lacy pink panties that only half covered his manhood. “Isn’t he cute?”
Jezzy was stunned. “Ah, cute. Sure.”
“You’re not judging his sexual proclivities, are you Jezzy? We shouldn’t judge what others like, as long as it is consensual and among adults. That seems so unlike you.”
Jezebel stared, her head buzzing. “No, of course I’m not, Alice. I’m so glad you’ve found someone to make you happy.”
“We are happy. I love him dearly.” And with that, Alice scampered to the red carpet and jumped into her husband’s arms.
“Ahh, it’s so lovely to witness true love,” Jack said. “Don’t you think, Jez?”
“Uh, yes.” And it was. “There’s only one problem.”
“Problem?”
Jezebel tore her gaze from Jack’s handsome face and looked at Hatter and Hare, standing there with their microphone and camera and erections, er, expectations.
“I promised to find your sexual soulmate, Jack. I promised to find you a bride. And…” She paused, her throat dry. “And I failed.”
“Failed?” echoed the Hatter.
“Failed?” echoed the Hare.
“I’m sorry,” Jezzy told them. “There will be no wedding for The Bean King. I’m afraid I have let him down.”
She turned around to apologize to Jack, but he wasn’t there. It took her a second to spot him kneeling on the ground at her feet. “Jack, wha—”
“You didn’t fail, Jez. You succeeded.”
“What? How?”
“I already found my sexual soulmate, climbing that beanstalk years ago. In fact, I set up this whole bride search and interview with Big Cock Billionaire Magazine to find out if you could ever feel the same way about me.”
Jezzy felt dizzy, as if she’d just had multiple orgasms and was now hopelessly disoriented.
Jack opened a jewelry box and held it up to her. The biggest, most garish diamond ring sparkled from its black velvet cushion, so big that a crowd started to gather and paparazzi snapped pictures.
“So how about it, Jez? Could you ever feel that way about me? Will you be my bride?”
“But, but… the algorithms…”
“I don’t care about the algorithms.”
“But I’m not Alice…”
“No, you’re not. You’re Jezebel. And you’re who I want. You’ve been who I wanted all along.”
Jezebel’s chest constricted, making it hard to breathe. “We aren’t a perfect match. What if it doesn’t work out?”
“I love you, Jez. And I know getting married is a risk, like jumping over a cliff. But the only one I want to take that leap with is you. Will you jump with me?”
Tears streamed down Jezzy’s face. Her heart raced, and her whole body trembled. “Oh, Jack. I’m so sorry!”
His face fell. “You won’t marry me?”
“No, no… I mean, yes, yes. I will marry you. I’m just so sorry I ever broke up with you in the first place.”
“No, no, I’m sorry it took me so long to become someone you could love.”
“No, no, no, I’m sorry I ever thought ambition was more important than love.”
“No, no, no, no—”
“Can you both please stop being sorry!” Hatter shouted. He was now wearing a Stetson. “Are you two gettin’ hitched or what?”
Jezebel looked down at her sweet Jack, and her heart filled with a happiness that she’d never before known. She’d succeeded after all. She’d found Jack a wife. She’d just never dared to hope his bride would be her.
“Yes, Jack. I’d love to marry you.”
And the night was lit with the flash of a dozen cameras.
The End
Other Books by
Melinda DuChamp
The Siemann Institute Trilogy
The Sexperts 1: Fifty Grades of Shay
The Sexperts 2: The Girl with the Pearl Necklace
The Sexperts 3: Loving the Alien
The Adventures of Alice Trilogy
Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland
Fifty Shades of Alice Through the Looking Glass
Fifty Shades of Alice at the Hellfire Club
The Adventures of Jezebel Trilogy
Fifty Shades of Jezebel and the Beanstalk
Fifty Shades of Puss in Boots
Fifty Shades of Goldilocks
Want It Bad – A Contemporary Erotic Romance
50 SHADES OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND
by Melinda DuChamp
BEYOND 50 SHA
DES OF GREY…
Eighteen-year-old Alice is unhappy. Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he’s also quick and careless in bed, and doesn’t give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he’s not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn’t understand her own needs. She’s heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she’s read about in runaway bestselling books.
BEYOND 9 1/2 WEEKS…
Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys—or girls—down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies.
BEYOND PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES…
Alice is confused and frightened and… aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body’s needs for the very first time.
BEYOND THUNDERDOME…
This isn’t the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn’t for children at all.
This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare…
50 SHADES OF ALICE: THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
by Melinda DuChamp
FIFTY SHADES OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND WAS JUST THE BEGINNING…
Eighteen-year-old Alice recently had an unprecedented erotic experience. But her adventures have only just begun to heat up.
NOW SHE MUST TRAVEL THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS…
After breaking up with her boyfriend, Lewis, Alice enters a strange fantasy world where every pleasure—no matter how kinky—is indulged.
INTO TOTAL ECSTASY!! WITH TWO EXCLAMATION POINTS!!
Alice is subjected to amorous escapades beyond her wildest dreams, and taken to the very limit of sexual endurance. During her carnal encounters with all manner of men and women, she is teased to tears by a bondage master, thoroughly used in a three way, enlightened to the sensual joys of a female touch, taken to a sex shop to test different erotic toys, given several very special piercings, and is dragged to the Hall of Denied Orgasms where she must fight the frumious Jabbercocky to save all of Looking Glass Land. And you know what we mean by “fight”…
This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice through the looking glass, if you dare…
50 GRADES OF SHAY: THE SEXPERTS
by Melinda DuChamp
IN THE FUTURE, SOME PEOPLE ARE STILL PRUDES…
But Fanny Leuber and Peter Bonebury, instructors at the Siemann Sex Institute, are doing all they can to make sure everyone can enjoy a healthy, prosperous sex life. Even if that means kidnapping clueless men to teach them how to please a woman, giving BDSM lessons, and creating group sex instructional videos.
But when a gorgeous, naive blond with sexual super powers arrives at the institute, everything Fanny and Peter know will be exposed and turned upside down … including their secret feelings for each other.
Written by bestselling erotica author Melinda DuChamp, The Sexperts is another hilarious, romantic, and downright naughty adventure for readers who are daring enough.
It’s erotica for smart people who like to laugh, just like you.
FIFTY SHADES OF PUSS IN BOOTS
Copyright © 2015
Cover art copyright © 2015
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, either living or dead is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without express permission in writing.