Shock Advised (Kilgore Fire #1)

by Lani Lynn Vale

  I didn’t bother to tell her no.

  I wouldn’t be keeping this from her. HIPPA be damned.

  I’d deal with the repercussions of giving out patient info later. This was more important than my license.

  Mia would want to know, and I wouldn’t be keeping anything from her.

  She wasn’t a fragile flower.

  We loaded Judith into the back of the ambulance, and I got in with her, taking a seat at her right.

  PD closed the doors, and I got busy starting an IV on her and getting fluids running.

  “You’re good for my daughter. I think you’ve helped her these last two months,” Judith admitted.

  I grimaced.

  “I haven’t seen, nor spoken to her, since Colt’s funeral,” I said, all business.

  She may have sent me a peace offering, but that didn’t mean that I was going to put myself out there again.

  Colt dying had dredged up a lot of old memories for me.

  Ones of Catori, my sister, dying. Ones of Winter dying. Ones of my brother breaking and never really living again. Adam dying.

  Memories assaulted me, and I hadn’t had a full night’s rest since I’d met her.

  And I was pretty fucking pissed about it.

  I was a fun person.

  I let loose.

  I celebrated.

  What I didn’t do, however, was care.

  Caring let to feelings, and feelings led to heartache.

  I didn’t want that…and Mia made me care. Made me feel. Then she refused to see or speak to me, and I was left wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.

  She’d changed something inside of me.

  Made me consider a relationship with her…something I just didn’t do…and then took away that promise…the promise of her.

  Yes, I realized she was hurting.

  But I could’ve hurt right along with her.

  I didn’t have to be there to have her back, but she wouldn’t give me that.

  I knew it was selfish. She’d just lost her son. She was allowed to do whatever the fuck she wanted to. Me, I was used to people thinking I couldn’t handle the hard stuff.

  My whole family thought I couldn’t handle it. So why should she be any different?

  “Oh, such an expressive face,” Judith rambled. “My girl’s a survivor. She had to be. Her daddy died, and I could barely afford a single thing. I was working from sun up until four or five hours past sundown, before she was even old enough to watch herself alone. She’s been an adult for a very long time. She doesn’t know how to lean on others when she needs it…and, sadly, that’s my fault. You need to give her a second chance to prove she’s the one for you.”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m a mess myself. It’s probably for the best that she doesn’t realize what she was starting to mean to me,” I admitted.

  Judith had the nerve to laugh.

  “You’re fooling yourself,” she said as she reached for her left arm again.

  I checked the time, then pulled out another nitro and opened it, placing it under her tongue for her this time.

  Little by little she relaxed.

  My heart, however, didn’t relax.

  I couldn’t tell Mia that she lost her mom, too.

  So I did some hardcore praying as I monitored her all the way to the hospital.

  Then breathed a sigh of relief when the attending physician took one look at her and ordered some clot busters for her.

  I backed away to let them work, then even further out of the room until I was standing in the hallway that would lead me upstairs.

  “Hey, you ready?” PD asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Call and tell them we’re gonna take a lunch break. Then we can go up to the cafeteria for a bite, and I can stop by and tell Mia about her mom,” I said.

  PD shrugged.

  PD was laid back.

  He could literally go with the flow for anything.

  Which was why, when I handed him a twenty to buy me lunch, he took it without a word and left, not looking back once.

  I started down the hall in the opposite direction of PD, not stopping until I got to the wing that led to labor and delivery.

  Chapter 6

  Only best friends know the way to your heart.

  Then will proceed to bug the ever loving hell out of you until you follow the path that they know you should be taking.

  -Wall sign

  Mia

  “Would you stop? He’ll come to see you, you’ll see. I promise,” Masen said for the fourth time.

  I placed my stethoscope to the chest of the tiny baby I was checking over in the nursery.

  Masen had the twin of the baby I was working on, but he wasn’t being anywhere near as cooperative.

  “I can’t help it. I feel like such a worm for not talking to him. I could’ve gone about it a little better than I did,” I admitted, checking the newborns diaper.

  Finding it dry, I started to work the baby back into the little outfit it had been wearing realizing, again, how hard it was to dress a tiny baby.

  Colton had always stiffened his limbs, making it even harder than it should’ve been.

  The memory burned as tears struck my eyes, but I blinked them back and went on with my work.

  Like I always did.

  Memoires assaulted me all day long.

  Most of them, however, were ones of Colt’s last moments with me.

  How he’d held onto my hair, or how he’d fluttered his eye lashes at me when I’d kissed him.

  This one, though, was a welcome memory.

  One that was from happier times.

  One that didn’t remind me that he was gone, but that he’d been beautiful when he was alive.

  “Earth to Mia…oh dear, sweet baby Jesus,” Masen gasped.

  I blinked, looking in her direction.

  She was staring at the window, and I followed her gaze to the opening where we could see the nurse’s station.

  “Holy, crud,” I breathed.

  Why?

  Because the hottest firefighter in the city…hell, in the state of Texas…was standing at the nurse’s station looking in at me.

  And he was smiling.

  “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about him coming to see you,” Masen said teasingly.

  I swallowed thickly and finished up with the little girl of the pair, placing her into a swaddle before laying her down into the rolling crib.

  Masen finished up with the baby boy and we both rolled out of the nursery, one after the other.

  I smiled shyly at Tai.

  “Hello,” I said softly. “I’ll be right back after I deliver these kiddos, okay?”

  He looked down at the babies, his face softening somewhat from his tense stare.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  I bit my lip and passed by him.

  I couldn’t help but inhale as I passed. He smelled delicious.

  Fabric softener and man.

  “Alright, my dears,” I said to the couple in the room.

  They were a young African American couple that’d been trying to have kids for a little over three years.

  The babies looked just like daddy, who couldn’t be happier to have two little ones to spoil.

  “Oh,” the dad said excitedly. “Which one is which?”

  I laughed.

  “This is the girl,” I said pushing the baby slightly forward. “And this one is the boy.”

  The mom laughed. “Oh, this is going to be difficult. All we have is yellow, so we can’t dress them differently, yet. How are we ever going to tell them apart? I can’t pull their diaper down every time I want to see which is which.”

  I grinned.

  “From what I understand, some parents put bracelets on them for the first month or so, so they can figure out who’s who,” I offered the suggestion.

  The parents nodded. “Ever since we found out we were having twins we started looking for ways to tell them
apart, since we didn’t know what we were having. Guess this is the best possible solution,” the dad sighed. “One boy and one girl.”

  “Alright, well they’re yours until the next time we have to check them over, which’ll be in about three hours. We’ll come in periodically to check and see if you need anything, but right now we’ll give you some time with your new babies, okay?”

  They both smiled, and I left the room with an answering smile on my face.

  Which quickly died when I saw Tai talking to a new nurse that I didn’t know really well yet.

  She’d been there for a little over two weeks, and I knew I wouldn’t be liking her any time soon. Especially not when she tried to hit on my…Tai.

  I walked up to the nurse’s station and turned to Linda, our charge nurse.

  “I’m taking my lunch now, okay?”

  Linda nodded and I turned to Tai.

  “You want to go grab a bite to eat?” I asked.

  He nodded curtly.

  I brushed past Tessa, the Tai stealer, and walked next to him as we exited the floor.

  He didn’t speak until we were well away from where we’d started.

  He stopped me in front of the chapel, and I started to get nervous.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  He looked up at the ceiling, then back down to me.

  “Your mom had a heart attack.”

  ***

  “I’m fine!” My mother said for the millionth time. “Back off and let me clean myself!”

  I placed the rag down very gently, glaring at my mother the entire time.

  “You had a heart attack, woman!” I bellowed. “You’re not fine!”

  “Jesus, save me from my nurse daughter who thinks she knows everything. Well, let me tell you something, little girl, I’ve been washing my own body for many years. I don’t need you to do it! Now- oh, thank God! Get her out of here!” My mother ordered¸ looking over my shoulder as she finished her rant.

  I turned slowly to find Tai standing behind me…almost directly behind me.

  Like I could reach out and touch him-behind me.

  I raised my brows at him. “Did you need something?”

  He’d been nice earlier…but he’d been distant. Almost as if he’d reluctantly come to see me because he felt some sort of duty to do so because he knew me, but not because he actually wanted to tell me.

  And he’d left me here with my mother who hadn’t stopped bitching since I’d come into her room four hours before.

  Which made me even more annoyed than I had been.

  “Just wanted to check to see how she was doing,” he said. “I brought a patient in, and I was curious.”

  I frowned.

  “She’s fine. They gave her the clot busting meds, and she’s been doing well since she came in,” I said. “They’re going to run further tests tomorrow to ascertain the damage to her heart, but they believe it was only a mild heart attack with minimal, if any, lasting damage.”

  His shoulders lost some of their rigidness.

  “That’s good to hear,” he said, then turned to my mother. “I’m on shift for another two hours, but when I get done, I’ll come back and get her. Do you think you can hang on that long, or do I need to send my brother?”

  My mouth dropped open.

  “I’m not some child that you can pass around…”

  That comment fell on deaf ears, though, as he only had eyes for my mother as she spoke after releasing the most put upon sounding sigh I’d ever heard from her.

  “I suppose,” she said, “that I can wait another two hours. It’ll be nice to have a break.”

  If my mouth could have, it would’ve dropped open even further. However, it just couldn’t, and I could do nothing but stand there, mouth hanging open, blinking like I had a neurological condition, as they made plans about what he was going to do with me once he had me.

  “Alright, Judith. I’ll come see you in a few hours. Try not to stress too much,” Tai said, backing out of the room.

  His dark, beautiful eyes glanced up at me, and my breath caught.

  Butterflies took flight in my belly, and my heart started to race.

  “Be good,” he mouthed.

  My lips pinched together in affront, but before I could give him a piece of my mind, he slipped back out the door, and I watched his sexy ass as he did.

  “So, let’s discuss apologies,” my mother said.

  I glared at her, and she threw the wet cloth at me, slapping me upside the head with it.

  I sighed and took the rag, placing it on the rolling bedside table that already held a basin of soapy water and two more rags just like the one that she’d thrown at me.

  “I’m sorry, mom. But you just scared the absolute crap out of me. No more working, and I think, instead of moving into a new place of my own, I’ll move in with you, and we can share the bills. That sound okay?” I asked hopefully.

  I didn’t want my mom alone anymore. At least not anytime soon.

  After I saw that she was okay and could take care of herself, then I’d move to my own place.

  Luckily, I hadn’t put the deposit down on the house I’d originally intended on renting.

  “That sounds fine to me. But you need to stay out of my way. And don’t complain about my fabric hoard,” she said, pointing at me with a stiff finger.

  I held up my hands in surrender.

  “Will you let me help you organize it?” I asked hopefully.

  She scowled.

  “I guess. But you can’t throw anything away. I want it all, every scrap,” she stated firmly.

  I sighed.

  “But that wasn’t what I was talking apologies for. You need to figure out how to apologize to Tai,” she said. “For pushing him away when all he wanted to do was be there for you.”

  I pursed my lips.

  “Mom…”

  She held her hand up to stop me.

  “I’m serious. I think that you hurt him more than you realize when you froze him out like that. And he’s a nice guy. Give him a chance. Talk to him. Apologize…and live your life,” she said softly.

  I thought about my mother’s words over the next two hours, thinking about how I’d shut him out.

  Had I hurt him?

  Yes, I think I did.

  Could I have helped it?

  No, probably not.

  But should I apologize?

  Yes. I definitely should.

  As soon as he walked in.

  Except two hours came and went, and I was drooping by the minute once seven o’clock came around.

  “Go home, baby. Maybe he’s held up at work,” she said softly.

  I turned to smile at my mom.

  She’d fallen asleep hours earlier, and I’d tried to do the same, but my nerves and excitement kept me awake.

  “Alright, mom. Do you want me to bring anything particular to you in the morning when I come back up here?” I asked.

  She pursed her lips. “You could bring one of my machines…”

  “No. I’m not bringing that up here. I meant more along the lines of clothes, shoes, deodorant, or shampoo,” I said laughingly.

  She snorted.

  “Clothes. Deodorant. Shampoo and conditioner,” she listed.

  I nodded and stood, going over to the bed to wrap my arms around her neck.

  “Take care of yourself while I’m gone and call me the moment you know anything, okay?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  “Bye mom, love you.”

  “I love you, too. Be careful,” she ordered.

  I gave her a thumb’s up, grabbed my bag that Masen had been kind enough to drop by on her way out of work, and slipped out the door, closing it softly behind me.

  I’d made it out the door, and nearly to the ambulance entrance when the man that was supposed to pick me up three hours ago, came through the door looking ragged.

  I stopped and moved to the side, allowing him to come through with his patient.
/>   He was at a near run and didn’t stop to say hi as he ran for the side entrance into the ER.

  Not that I expected him to.

  I walked out the door and stopped at the sidewalk, waiting for the shuttle to take me to the parking lot where I’d left my car before work.

  The hospital was expanding, meaning that there was tons of equipment and supplies in the parking lot where all the employees used to park.

  Now the employees had to park a nearly five-minute shuttle ride away, which meant I had a bit of wait, giving Tai enough time to come back outside to his rig and see me.

  “Hey!” He called.

  I turned and looked at him.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “Get in,” he said.

  I blinked, looking over at the ambulance, then back at him.

  “No.”

  He sighed and started toward me.

  I waved at PD, who had a small smile on his face.

  He waved back and got into the front of the ambulance.

  “It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. Let’s go,” he said once he reached me.

  I laughed at him.

  “You’re not my daddy, Tai,” I said to him.

  He snorted.

  “Let’s fuckin’ hope not. Now let’s go.”

  This time he took my arm, and I had to stand up since his grip was relentless.

  He wasn’t hurting me, but he had enough power in his grip to do so if he really wanted to.

  I dragged my feet as he pulled me in the direction of the ambulance.

  “I’ve never been in an ambulance before,” I admitted, looking at the huge boxy vehicle warily.

  “Cool. I’ll make sure your first time’s good for you,” he teased.

  I swallowed my tongue.

  He laughed at my expression and opened the passenger side door.

  “Get in the middle,” he ordered.

  “There’s not a seat in the middle,” I said dumbly.

  “There isn’t. But you can sit directly behind my seat in the back,” he said, pointing to the opening to the back.

  I did as I was told, patting PD on the shoulder as I passed.

  “Nice ass,” he said.

  I glared at him once I took my seat.

  “A gentleman wouldn’t look at a woman when she was in that position,” I admonished him.

  He laughed like I told him a really good joke.