“I… Are you sure?”
“I don’t understand you. Of course I’m sure. I don’t like talking out of my ass.”
“God, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”
“The part about me not talking out of my ass?”
I shot her a confused look, then we both burst into laughter.
“No, but everyone, my colleagues, my friends, all of them hated me after that. And I feel guilty.”
“I don’t know about your colleagues, but I would suggest you find better friends. It’s selfish to ask such a thing of you. And, if you look past the sentimental side of things, you see that you did what was best for the child. Even with the price of tension at work, conflicts and, I dare say, self hate. What more can you ask?”
“To be honest, I censored my own thoughts about this. It felt wrong to say that I did the right thing, you know?”
She nodded and her smile could’ve stopped the rain and brought the sun in my darkest days. I allowed myself a second of picturing her lips on mine.
“About that food…”
“Coming right up, Ma’am.”
I set the plate in front of her and watched her eat before diving in myself. I felt satisfied knowing she was eating, knowing I was taking care of her. I blushed, acknowledging my thoughts and their idiocy. Maybe I needed some distance from her.
“Care for some laps? I mean, you can sunbathe. Don’t swim until your cut is healed.”
So much for distance. My brain said one thing, but my mouth acted on impulse.
“I… OK. I can keep you company, I guess.”
Was it just me or there was a shadow crossing her face?
She moved the plates into the sink, assured me she’ll be with me as soon as she finished washing them and insisted I should go ahead without her.
I found the request strange, but complied. I had made a spectacle of myself enough for one morning.
It took her several minutes to come. She sat on the deck, dangling her feet in the water, probably trying to look less awkward in her new clothes.
She had changed out of her loose t-shirt and into a knee length dress with long sleeves.
It was a dark blue dress, opaque, that didn’t let light pass through. You would’ve thought that a thin sundress was more appropriate; even the shorts and white t-shirt she was wearing earlier seemed like a better choice.
I refrained from questioning her clothing choice directly but she felt the need to explain herself when I swam close.
“I don’t really like, um… sunbathing. My skin is sensitive. I know it’s weird.”
“It’s not weird. Nobody is making you do anything. But I think you need some water.”
I gave her just a second of confusion before splashing as much water her way as I could from my position.
She yelped and jumped right up.
“You jerk!” she yelled. I thought I had made a big mistake and was just about to apologize when she unscrewed the cap off her grape juice bottle and poured it right on to of my head.
Before I could realize what was happening, she was already running away, laughing out loud.
“OK. You wanna play it like that?”
I was pretty confident it would be a short chase, but I was wrong. She was surprisingly fast and used all the tricks in the book to prevent me from catching her.
Sooner than I expected I was panting.
“Stop! I can’t… You win,” I managed to say between heavy breathing. “You’re good, girl. You’re good.”
“You admit defeat, mortal?”
“Yes. I admit I am defeated. You can approach safely.”
She considered my words for a second, then walked my way. My plan was working perfectly.
When she got within reach, I leaped and tackled her to the ground, making sure to land under her. I didn’t want to hurt her and realized midair my weight could’ve been too much for her.
After an awkward twist and a series of grunts from me when my back hit the ground, I realized she had moaned in pain.
With a speed only instinct could’ve given her, she pulled herself off me and curled into a ball of pain.
“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? Are you alright?”
“I’m alright. I’m fine.” As fast as she had succumbed to the pain, she stood up and smiled. “Gotcha!”
“What? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, silly. I landed on you, I’m not hurt.”
My first instinct was not to believe her, but her smile looked honest; it confused me.
Before I had the chance to decide how I felt about the incident, I heard a car on the driveway.
“Mom’s home!” Eva exclaimed and left me there, on the ground, still undecided.
I followed her, hugged her mother and took the grocery bags from my father. I wasn’t in the most talkative mood.
“What are you wearing, honey? It’s a beautiful day. Why don’t you put on your sundress?” her mother said.
“I… forgot to pack it,” Eva mumbled.
I searched for her eyes, but she was looking down. So, she was lying!
“I have one you can borrow. Come on.”
Her mother took Eva’s hand and walked her into the house. I watched them, interested in Eva’s reaction. She looked distressed; there was no better word for it.
“What’s up, son?”
“She said she doesn’t like sunbathing,” I blurted out.
“Who? Eva? Nonsense, she loves it. Her mother said that she used to cry whenever they had to come back from the beach, when she was little.”
“Are you sure?”
“Come on, son. These groceries aren’t going to carry themselves.”
***
“OK, OK, I give up!” I said, raising my hands defensively. “You all win.”
“Ever heard of poker face?” Eva asked, giggling.
“Yeah, you all laugh. But my inability to be deceptive means I am an honest person. Unlike you, con artists.”
“Sore loser,” Dad commented.
“You’re mean. You hurt my feelings.”
“I’ll make some tea to sooth you, big baby,” Eva’s mother offered, to everyone’s amusement.
“That’s alright. I think I’m done for the night. If anyone needs me, I’ll be outside for the next half an hour. Need some fresh air after this massacre.”
“You only lost fake money, son.”
I patted Dad on the back on my way out, sure sign there were no hard feelings between us.
Outside, the cool night air enveloped me. I fought the shivers and started walking. My body would get used to the low temperature in a minute.
The sky was clear and stars were amazingly bright, casting an eerie light over the forest. I paused to admire the reflection on the still surface of the lake. Nature was amazing.
With a sigh of relief, I sat down, resting my hands on my knees. It was late, maybe half past midnight and I was starting to feel tired, but I wasn’t going to give up the beauty surrounding me. Sleep was overrated anyway.
Besides, tomorrow was Sunday; I didn’t have to get up.
Despite my reasoning, my body demanded I lay down. The cold grass was a shock at first, but warmed up pretty quickly under my weight. I closed my eyes briefly, breathing deeply, savoring the fragrance of the forest.
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” I heard Eva say in my face. Her breath smelled of mint.
“Hey.”
“I thought you were going for a walk.”
“I was.”
“Liar.”
I turned my head to her. She was laying on her side, resting her head on one tiny fist. The elevation gave her an advantage over me, so I couldn’t see her face from the moonlight behind her.
“Isn’t it past your bedtime, young lady?”
“You’re so funny, Dave. I’m cracking up.”
She wasn’t. She was being sarcastic. I, on the other hand, was really amused.
“The stars are beautiful,” she said quietly and
turned on her back. For a moment, we looked straight into the infinite night sky, the only noise around us coming from the lake, as frogs were chatting rhythmically over the crisp air. Then, my phone buzzed.
I pulled it out of my back pocket and was blinded by its light. I squinted in order to see Helen’s text. She was asking how I was.
“How does your girlfriend feel about the incident?” Eva asked. I could detect a hint of disappointment in her voice.
“You snooping?”
“It’s hard not to. The screen is too bright. I feel like a moth.”
I chuckled. “She’s worried, naturally. Wouldn’t you be?”
I wanted to see her reaction. She looked sad.
“Of course I would. If I were your girlfriend. I mean, I worry even now, and I’m not your girlfriend. Not that I need to be your girlfriend. What am I saying?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend. It was more like a casual relationship, but I ended it, don’t worry.”
“First, why did you end it?”
“My schedule is not the best. I work a lot and a girlfriend requires attention. I want to give her all the attention, but it’s just not possible.”
“A girlfriend doesn’t require attention. A girlfriend requires you, exactly the way you are. If you work a lot, she’s there when you come home. You’re off at some point during the week. You spend that time with her. It’s not that complicated, you know?”
“It doesn’t seem fair.”
“You know nothing, young man,” she concluded, shaking her head. I chuckled.
“And second?”
“Sorry?”
“First, why did I break it off. Second?”
“Oh. Second, why would I worry?”
My smile died down as I realized I had spoken without thinking.
“I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m sorry,” I mumbled. When Eva didn’t reply, I glanced her way. She was grinning. “What?”
“You’re silly.”
“Right. Thanks. I guess.”
I let her laugh, it was only fair. The silence came back, its relaxing effect slightly diminished by the cold that was only getting colder.
“What do you say we go for a drive?” I suggested.
“A drive?”
“Yeah. All the perks of nature watching, but from the warm and comfort of a car.”
She pursed her lips, looking thoughtful.
“Why not? Let me change my clothes.”
“Sure. But don’t take all night. In ten minutes I’m coming after you.”
She stuck her tongue out before leaving me. “Cheeky girl.”
It didn’t take me long to follow her lead. My jeans were getting wet from the cold grass and I didn’t want to ruin my father’s car, so I went back into the house.
It was long past the allocated ten minutes when I finally checked the time. I grinned, anticipating her reaction when I barged into her room. “Maybe, this time I shouldn’t look directly at her,” I thought. No matter how much I wanted to see her naked again, I considered it was only right she would consent to that first.
I paused in front of her door and took a deep breath. This seemed easier in my head. Finally, I pushed the door open.
At first, I needed a second to comprehend what I was seeing. I almost apologized for catching her in her underwear again, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her scarcely covered body. Then anger took over.
EVA
“Shit!”
His eyes were filled with rage, it was so evident that it felt material.
Why did I have to wait so long before getting dressed? Why did I have to read Alex’s nasty texts? I had stopped replying to them since the day of the attack, so why?
If I could have just put the sweater on, if only I hadn’t got careless, I wouldn’t be now naked in front of David. I wouldn’t be clutching the discarded t-shirt over my breasts to hide the bruises.
My heart was racing so fast, I could feel it beating through the fabric. Time was suspended, all I could see were David’s eyes; his eyes were judging me, seeing me for the worthless girl I really was. All I could think was how I wanted to die that instant. It would have been so simple.
Then David turned around and stormed out. Watching him leave made it all real again but an unexpected wave of nausea prevented me from going after him.
I grabbed onto the bed frame and called after him.
“David!”
He couldn’t have heard me, he had already slammed the front door shut on his way out. I clenched my teeth, forcing myself to fight against the nausea, and wrapped myself in the first thing I saw, a bathrobe. In less than a minute I was running out onto the patio, looking for David.
It had gotten colder, almost freezing. I wasn’t dressed for the occasion, but I didn’t care. Between the nausea and the dizziness, the cold seemed like a good thing to endure.
I ran aimlessly, too scared to call out for David. What if Mum heard? What would she think if she found me half naked, running through the woods at night?
Before I knew it, I was lost. My feet were frozen, but it felt like it was happening to someone else. The dizziness was starting to get stronger. I saw a house, but didn’t recognize it. Where was I? I must’ve walked for miles, because there were no cabins near ours.
Wide eyed and panting, I tried to find my way back. Although I was sure I had stopped moving, everything else was spinning. How do I stop moving?
“David? David!” I called out. It was like those dreams where I couldn’t scream. “How do I stop moving? Why is everything… I’m sorry.”
Before collapsing, I saw a shadow getting closer, then there was darkness.
When I came to, I was in my bed. The lights were out, only the moonlight shining through the window.
For a second, I breathed easily. All was just a dream, thank God.
“How are you feeling?”
Those four words turned my core into ice. Next thing I knew, I was bent over the edge of the bed, puking into a bucket. Holding the bucket was Dave. I puked again, then darkness came back over me, like a protective cloak.
It was morning when I woke up. I could’ve been fooled by the chirping of the birds and the quiet surrounding me, but the splitting headache pressing on my temples reminded me of last night’s horrific incident.
“Oh, no,” I made the mistake of saying. Besides my voice sounding like sandpaper must’ve felt, the noise hit my ears like a jackhammer.
Despite every little sound hurting my brain, I shuffled out of the sheets and rose to a sitting position. When I dangled my feet over the edge of the bed, another dizzy spell took a hold of me. I feared I might faint again and kept mumbling to myself encouragements.
“You shouldn’t be standing just yet,” David said. I hadn’t heard the door open.
When I didn’t reply, he came and stood in front of me, blocking the sun. I could feel his eyes burning holes on the back of my head, as I looked down. He hated me.
“How do you feel?” His voice was harsh, scolding me for my mistakes.
“I’m fine. I feel better. I’m sorry for scaring you…”
“You’re not fine. I asked how you were feeling. Symptoms, not fiction.”
With every word, he ripped something inside me. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. When the first drooped on my lap, I held my breath. He’d hate me even more if he saw me crying.
“Look, you have a concussion, that’s why you were unconscious. It must’ve happened before you came here. Are you crying?”
He lifted my face to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to bear the despising look he must’ve had in his eyes.
“Why are you crying? You don’t need the pressure, you’ll just faint again.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I… Please, don’t hate me,” I begged.
“Hate you? I hate the fucking bastard that did this to you!”
“What? No… Nobody did this to me. It’s my fault.”
“Sure. You walked into a door?”
“No. Why would you say that?”
He shook his head. “Isn’t that what you abused women say?”
Bliss: A Step Brother Romance Page 5
