Be A Doll: A Carter Manor Novel

by Stephanie Witter

  But it couldn’t last.

  The first sign of reality peeking in was when I felt Mathis’ shoulders tensing. I immediately stopped my hands from their movements on his back and let them drop to my sides. In the next breath Mathis went to his haunches and he took off the condom without looking down. His eyes were on me, once again distant and cold. I couldn’t decipher the look on his face, but I didn’t try for long. I retreated inside and looked away, pressing my legs closed to hide myself and I turned on my side, closing my eyes as if I was ready to fall asleep. While I was exhausted from the chaos of the emotions and sensations he brought to me today, I wasn’t ready to fall asleep. I only wanted to escape his perusal, escape the risk of biting words that would reach my tender heart in such a vulnerable moment. I needed time to regroup.

  Tomorrow, I would be back on my feet and I would ignore the incredible sex that took place in this very bed.

  Tomorrow, I’d squash away the hurt I felt coming at the thought of Mathis giving to another woman what he just gave me.

  Tomorrow, I’d remember that I didn’t care about Mathis Grimes, but right now I let myself crash after soaring so damn high I touched the stars.

  ***

  MATHIS

  After watching Lila sleeping for an hour I slowly climbed to my feet and padded out of our bedroom. Naked and soft dick swaying between my legs, I didn’t care. I only needed some space, to breathe and calm down.

  Lila had faked sleep for over thirty minutes before I felt her melting into the mattress and succumbing to the call of dreams. During that time I made as if I wasn’t really looking at her out the corner of my eyes, but it was for nothing. She had made sure to stay on her side with her back to me. With the city lights pouring in from the large windows it created sensual shadows on her clear skin, soft shoulder and graceful neck. She was gorgeous. A piece of art.

  I shook my head to clear it of the images of my naked wife and pushed open the door to my office. I went straight to the desk chair and let myself fall into it. I cringed when the leather touched my bare ass and back, but I didn’t move. My eyes were already lost on the picture on the desk, the only picture still up here. Max and I on that damn beach the day before he died.

  I reached for it and as always, my hand was shaking. I swallowed past the boulder that had taken residence as soon as I pulled away from Lila in bed and breathed out slowly, forcing my heart to beat slower.

  “What am I doing, Max?’’ I mumbled roughly and let my head drop against the back of the chair.

  Before, I had never been so lost to a woman during sex. Before, I had never come so hard. Before, I had never forgotten who I was, not even for a damn second.

  Lila did that to me, and a lot more without trying.

  I rubbed at my temple and looked at the old photograph again. There were moments like this one when I felt the weight of my twin’s absence. We were only thirteen when he died, but I just knew that if he had been alive right now I could have called and he would have dropped everything just to talk me off the ledge. But then again, would I have to call him if he was still alive? I wouldn’t be in this situation, living a life I had never envisioned for myself before his death.

  I sighed and put the picture back in its place on my desk and closed my eyes.

  As soon as my eyelids hid away the world from me, I saw Lila under me, writhing, moaning, her blue eyes bright and flaming on me. I saw my wife coming so beautifully and strongly that a tear escaped from each of her luminous eyes.

  The memory of Lila under me while I took her would forever be burned in my mind when all of my other sexual experiences had been swept away to leave behind just a bad aftertaste.

  When you tasted the more complex and savory wine, how could you go back to drinking cheap wine coolers?

  Lila was not just the best wine, she was a nectar, the kind you couldn’t forget and nothing could compete.

  I had doubted that fucking her once would be enough, but now I knew it would never be enough. She was running inside me and I didn’t want her to. I wanted her out of my system, not so deep inside it that I had no idea how to get her out.

  I put my elbows on the desk and leaned my face into my palms.

  Lila had fascinated me from the get-go with the fire impossible to extinguish in her eyes, but now she enthralled me.

  I wasn’t the kind of man who enjoyed being at anyone’s mercy.

  I didn’t like the possibility she could play me, toy with me.

  I needed my control back.

  LILA

  I woke up groggily and I immediately knew he was gone. It wasn’t just because the bed was cold or the fact that there wasn’t a single sound in the apartment. I always knew when Mathis was around because he sucked all the air and energy around him, seemingly to better attract the attention and fuel my contradictory thoughts and sensations.

  I sat up and the sheet covering me pooled in my lap. I looked around the bedroom as if I saw it for the first time. Everything was exactly as it was before, but the atmosphere seemed different. Was it because we had sex last night in here?

  My stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch the previous day. I gingerly left the bed and cringed when I realized I was a lot more sore than I expected. I straightened and put on the first yoga pants I could find paired with the cashmere sweater I had on yesterday. I ran my fingers through my messy hair and left the bedroom to find some food and strong coffee in the kitchen.

  I went down the staircase slowly as my heart squeezed in my chest at the physical reminders of what happened last night. I looked around the living room and the kitchen and didn’t find any sign of the housekeeper, until I saw a note left on the counter. From where I stood I couldn’t make out the handwriting so I made my way to it and quickly snatched it.

  Lila,

  Mrs. McCarthy won’t be in today.

  M.G.

  And that was all there was to the note. Just stupid information regarding the housekeeper and nothing else. I didn’t know what I expected to find really. Mathis’ handwriting was neat and precise, very much in control like the man himself wanted to be. That note drilled that he cared for his distance, his walls surrounding him and keeping him away from the people in his life.

  I balled the note up and walked briskly to the dustbin to throw it away. My bare feet padding on the cold tiled floor. It helped chase away the last traces of sleep still lingering.

  “What an ass,’’ I mumbled to myself and quickly made my way to the coffee machine and put in a dose without checking which one it was and then I grabbed an apple and bit into it with gusto. At that very moment, I would have quite enjoyed biting like this into a certain man’s appendage. That thought made me smile around my bite of apple as I chewed.

  The time it took me to eagerly eat the apple my coffee was ready. I threw away the apple core and grabbed my mug, taking the first sip in a contented sigh when the hot liquid warmed me on the inside where Mathis’ coldness seeped through me from his note.

  The silence around the apartment started to weigh on me as sounds and images from last night came back to me, more vivid than I was comfortable with. It only made it harder for me to swallow my coffee when I realized the chasm having sex with Mathis seemed to have created. After he went to the bathroom to throw away the condom he became very quiet, very subdued. He also didn’t make a move to touch me or tease me in any way. He simply discarded me, done with me.

  I set down the mug and emptied the couple of sips of coffee left in the sink. I lost the taste for it. And then, the intercom rang, startling me so much that I dropped the empty mug in the sink. I cursed when I saw the chipped edge.

  Frowning, I glanced quickly at the clock on the oven and saw it wasn’t even ten in the morning yet. Was it a delivery?

  I padded to the intercom and answered before it sounded a second time.

  “Yes?’’

  “Mrs. Grimes, I apologize, but a Oscar Grimes is here to see you.’’


  Oscar Grimes? Mathis’ father?

  My back straightened automatically and my free hand went to my hair hoping to discipline it enough to pass as half decent. I silently cursed. “Hm… let him up. Thank you.’’

  “Yes, ma’am.’’

  I disconnected and this time I let out a loud curse, finding some pleasure in being able to curse as loud as I wanted without anybody reprimanding me or sending daggers my way. In that situation I believed I was entitled to some cursing. From the way my last encounter with Mr. Grimes Sr. went, I knew his visit wouldn’t be a pleasant one. On top of it, it was almost ten in the morning and I wasn’t ready, had a bad case of bed hair and I had no doubt that my makeup had run down my face after shedding tears during sex with Mathis.

  It was too late to run to the bedroom anyway.

  So, I did the only thing I could and stopped fussing with my hair and opened the door right when the elevator dinged open and Oscar Grimes stepped out clad in a pristine suit and a dark coat without a single piece of lint marring the fabric. Even his gray hair was perfectly combed. The man was put together so perfectly that it made me even more aware of my appearance.

  In the past four years, not once had I had to face someone without being presentable and without wearing the best outfit money could buy. Only Mathis had seen me in pjs and even then the negligees and pjs were from the best designers and made with silk.

  He walked to me, his dark eyes taking in all of my flaws in one sweep before he stopped in front of me on the threshold of the apartment.

  “Mr. Grimes. Please, I apologize for my appearance, but I’m afraid your visit came at the wrong time.’’

  “I see.’’ He then looked over my shoulder as if he expected to see someone appear. “Am I expected to exchange words with you in the hall?’’

  I startled and took a step back, opening the door wider. “Come in.’’ My voice settled then. There was nothing like someone who acted condescending to set my nerves and make me find my footing again, even when only clad in a yoga pants and a wrinkled cashmere sweater.

  He walked in and didn’t give me the chance to close the door after him. He did it, once again asserting his importance and belittling me with a simple move. I brushed the front of my wrinkled sweater and stared straight at the older man as if I was wearing a stunning outfit instead of looking like I either went on a bender or got laid by his son.

  “Would you like something to drink?’’

  He checked the time on his gleaming, and without a doubt expensive, watch and frowned. “No. It’s too early for a stiff drink and I already had a coffee.’’ He turned toward the living room, going straight for the couch without waiting for my invitation to take a seat.

  I might have a difficult background and I might have spent a few years without a roof over my head, but it baffled me that a man like him wouldn’t muster a modicum of politeness and education in all situations. I believed that my years at Carter Manor had made me even more sensitive to everything regarding polite etiquette and such, but that man truly ruffled my feathers.

  Without a word, I joined him on the couch, but chose to sit on the opposite sectional. I sat properly with my back straight and my legs pressed together elegantly even if I was wearing damn yoga pants and not some fancy skirt or slacks.

  “I suppose you’re not here on a social call, Mr. Grimes. What can I help you with?’’

  His dark eyes narrowed on me, probably deciding on the spot of which route to take. Inside, I was slightly nervous, not because that man impressed me even if he did look a lot like an older version of Mathis only more sinister, but it was the reason of his visit that unsettled me. I flew blind and I didn’t do well when taken by surprise at a weak moment.

  “Are you aware that my son is planning on a hostile takeover on a friend of mine’s company?’’ he asked with an even voice, falsely calm.

  I entwined my fingers in my lap delicately and nodded. “I suppose you’re referring to Mr. Moran.’’

  “Mathis did talk to you about his plans then,’’ he said and I perceived a slight surprise underneath his appearance of detachment.

  “Let’s just say that I’m not as stupid as you think of me. Our dinner with Mr. Moran and his wife here is quite memorable and Mathis vowed to make him pay. Considering your visit here, I can put two and two together.’’

  “Then I shouldn’t have to explain at length why you should tell my son to stop acting so harshly for such an inane reason.’’

  Mr. Grimes’ eyes bore into me, probably thinking such eye contact could sway me to his advantage. For a businessman, I found it baffling that he could underestimate someone without actually knowing them. He immediately put me in the whore category and in his mind it seemed that it couldn’t go with a smart brain.

  I kept a calm expression on my face, stopping my lips from twitching into a sneer when I really wanted to let go of my composure, but with a man like him it wouldn’t help my cause or untangle the situation I was in.

  From the little I gathered of the family dynamics, I knew that Mr. Grimes and Mathis’ issues stemmed deep and I was only a new tool to use as a matter of discord.

  “I’m sure Sylvie isn’t interfering in your business matters, Mr. Grimes, and I don’t intend on overstepping that precise boundary.’’

  The cold laugh coming from him chilled me as uneasiness grew, snatching from me the warmth in my body. “Don’t compare my marriage to yours, young lady. We both know this is a charade, a joke. The reason of your presence in my son’s life is a matter of a business arrangement and the reason why he’s buying Moran’s company is because of you and because he doesn’t want people to question his marriage.’’

  Stiff and angry, I clasped my fingers together in my lap more tightly, but that was the only sign of my growing temper. “Mr. Grimes,’’ I began with an even voice, but the chill in my tone was unmistakable. “Mathis’ mind is set and I will not get in the way. His business is his to deal with as he sees fit. If you have some grievance, I will ask you to discuss your issues with him.’’

  “I see that you like to use lady manners.’’ He leaned back on the couch, showing me without saying that he wasn’t ready to leave or drop the subject. If anything, the harshness in his eyes accentuated and in that moment I realized that the coldness in Mathis’ eyes held more warmth than his father’s. “Is that from the time you spent in that bordello?’’

  He was baiting me. I knew it. I breathed calmly, pushing through the pain in my lungs that was typical when anger was about to get the best of me and smiled at the older man facing me. It was probably my most fake smile and the one that pained my cheeks the most, but it was my best weapon. Showing no weakness by hiding behind a polite smile.

  “As much as Carter Manor’s ethics are debatable, it has nothing to do with a bordello. If you have nothing better to say than insult me because I’m not doing what you want me to, I’ll ask you to leave.’’

  He eyed me a moment without saying a word, without blinking and then he grabbed his tie and repositioned it on his still flat stomach in spite of his age over his pristine button-down. “I wonder if you’ll be siding with my son again when he starts coming home later and later to spend time with another woman. I really wonder how long that fealty to your husband will last, because I can assure you that my son has no real interest in you other than for your plastic.’’ He stood up then and buttoned his suit jacket, quite in the same way Mathis did. “You shouldn’t forget where you’re from.’’

  “I’ll never forget, Mr. Grimes. You shouldn’t forget the loyalty you should have towards your son.’’

  He bent and grabbed his briefcase and glared at me once he stood straight again. I went to my feet too and rounded the coffee table to lead my father-in-law back to the door. I was too angry now to care for my appearance and what he might be thinking.

  “You know nothing of what a family is like and my relationship with my son. You better watch your mouth,’’ he said in a low voice, a clear war
ning hanging in the air as he took a step to leave.

  “I know that a family is supposed to support each other first, Mr. Grimes. From the little I’ve seen of you, you do the opposite with Mathis. Instead of going out of your way to help a friend of yours, you should spend more time mending your relationship with your son.’’

  His jaw clenched and the few wrinkles on his face carved deeper as he, undoubtedly, stopped himself from saying something biting in return. I wanted to hit harder, to push him away as far as possible, but in a very brief moment, I saw a deep pain in the older man’s hard eyes. That flash of pain reminded me of the tragedy that struck this family and it made it harder for me to still be furious. I wouldn’t find that man excuses for his despicable behavior since I had met him, but the unhappiness radiated from him so much that I couldn’t bring myself to be as hard as he was.

  Instead, I nodded my goodbye and closed the door in his face.

  ***

  MATHIS

  “Jonatan, I need you to remind the legal department I want an update regarding Moran’s company,’’ I said from my seat behind my desk. My voice carried to my assistant’s desk outside my office without difficulty.

  I glowered at my computer and clicked on the agenda to check what I had planned that afternoon, trying my best to push away any and all thoughts of Lila. It only worked partially. It wasn’t like having sex with your wife for the first time and finding it exceeded your expectations was nothing. It fucked with my mind. Moreover, leaving her that morning without a word, only a lustful look at her naked curves barely covered by a bed sheet wasn’t easy either. And that stupid note I wrote…

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and cursed myself under my breath. I wasn’t the kind of man who would leave sweet notes for the woman he had fucked the night before, but the fact that I would see the woman I had sex with when I came home and that I had given my last name to that same woman made everything different. I wasn’t used to treading in unknown waters.