Loving Logan

by Leila Lacey

  “What’s wrong son?” his mother said to him taking a sip of her sweet tea. Logan could not believe that there was a time in his life that he had thought his mother was weak and did not care about him and is brother. Logan had been so angry when his dad left them. Angry they went hungry, angry they didn’t have new clothes or shoes, sometimes food to eat. He had blamed her for not being “good enough” to make his father want to stay and a host of other things. When he was in juvie his mother had driven the three hours to see him every single Sunday, staying the entire four hours bringing, brownies and cookies, magazines, books and photo albums. Talking to him about Lance and the things that were going on in the town. After a year of him sitting staring at her not talking to her for the entire visit not eating the food she was bringing him. She had finally said to him “Logan, I know I failed you and your brother. I know you are angry and you hate to see me here every week. But I love you son, I always have and I always will. If you want me to stop coming here you just say the word and I will stay away. Otherwise I am going to keep coming, because you are my baby”. She had left and waited. After three Sundays had gone by and his mother had not shown up. His new bunk mate had said “Dude is your mom sick?” Logan had not imagined that something could be wrong with her. That Tuesday he had been told that she had been in a car accident on her way to see him. She had, had a stroke. The guilt and anger that he felt at the world but mostly at himself for treating her so badly all that time. Now sitting in her back yard with her watching his beautiful daughter play. Thinking of all she had done for him and all she did every day making sure that Gia was safe so that he could go and make a living. He was so indebted to her and could not ever repay her.

  “Nothing mom. What do you mean?” Logan said trying to pretend that there was nothing wrong.

  “What she is talking about, is the fact that you have been acting and looking like someone shot your dog sense the attorney that Shelby sent over here with your ownership papers was here. Which has been what momma one two weeks.” Lance said walking up to them breathing heavy sitting down at the table. You would not think that Gia was an only child she wore Lance out every time he saw her.

  “Well I was not going to put it so bluntly, but sense Lance said if for me. Have you spoken to her?” his mother said to him

  “No! Why would I talk to her? Once again a Beasley thinks they can buy what they want. But I am not for sale momma”

  “Logan you are so full of shit!” Lance said to him taking a sip of his beer that he had gotten out of the cooler.

  “LANCE!” his mother said to him. Shaking her head at him, her boys were very respectful but sometimes they forgot they were in her presence.

  “I am sorry momma. No disrespect ma’am but I am so tired with Logan’s us and them rhetoric. Shelby is NOT them, she is a good woman and has been a friend to this family for years. I would not have graduated from college without her. I get that her family is a bunch of assholes well actually I rather like Savannah…” Lance said before Logan cut his off saying

  “You like Savannah’s ass! But so has half the men in town.”

  “HOWEVER!” Lance said giving his brother the finger. “That is not Shelby. She paid for your criminal attorney to keep you out of jail for the next 20 years. Because your crack head one night stand tried to sell her into child slavery. She paid family court lawyer to get you complete custody of your daughter and make sure that she has no visitation and she paid of the mortgage to the shop so you can start with a clean slate and SHE is a bad guy? Lance said yelling at his brother. He sat back in his chair trying to calm down so that his yelling would not scare his mother and hid niece. Lance had been very angry with his brother sense finding out how he had treated Shelby.

  “Well go ahead and give down to the country son!” his mother said in her calm southern belle accent. They all laughed and the mood relaxed. Gia ran up to Logan, “Daddy I need to go potty!” she said doing the little girl I have to pee pee dance. Before Logan could get up Lance said “I will take her. Come on ladybug lets go tinkle”

  “Tinkle really?” Logan said to him as his brother walked back into the house

  “Shut up!” Lance said to him.

  “Shut up is not a nice word uncle Yance!” Gia said.

  “Yeah uncle Yance!” Logan said laughing and shaking his head. Once Gia and Lance were in the house Leanne turned to her son and took his hand.

  “Logan, you have spent your whole life being angry at the things that are unfair in this world. I have allowed you to have your anger hoping that it would be a way to make you cope. But what it has done is made you bitter. It has made you push a very special woman away from you.” she said to him. Reaching up she turned his head to look her in the eye. “Shelby had never judged you. Do you think it’s fair for you to judge her? Love her, don’t love her. Whatever you decide Logan let it be for the woman she is. Not the family she came from” she finished squeezing his hand.

  Logan knew his mother was right and he had really messed up. He was not sure the steps to take to get Shelby to forgive him. But he knew the first thing was making up with his brother. When Lance and Gia came back out onto the patio, Gia running straight for the swing set. Logan stood up and grabbed himself and started to jog in place. “Uncle Yance I need to go potty!” Lance and his mother started to laugh hysterically. Shaking his head Lance said to his brother “you are going to go on yourself then. I am not taking your big butt to the bathroom I know how ex-cons think!”

  “LANCE!” his mother said

  CHAPTER 5

  “Cassidy I cannot wear this on my date with Zach!” Shelby was saying to her friend. She was standing in front of her full length mirror. Looking sexier than she thought was possible for her to look. Cassidy had, had her stylist come over to do her hair she had put it up is a French twist with soft tendrils coming down to frame her face. She was still getting used to highlights and the lighter color but she loved it. Cassidy had chosen a beautiful crossover bust line dress that had a soft, clear elastic to hold it to her skin and allows the sleeves to sit slightly off-shoulder. The dark purple fabric was a unique matte knit that has a beautiful drape and stretch. A built-in stretch Bengaline shaper for the bust, waist, and lower hip gives support, structure, and holds her in, while the gathered outer fabric disguised the internal structure and gave her a sleek and clean silhouette. The result was an incredibly sexy and attention grabbing wiggle dress. She was wearing pearl drop earrings and classic pearl strand with nearly round freshwater cultured pearls strung on a hand-knotted silk cord, secured with a 14k white gold safety clasp.

  “Oh Hush Shelby!” Cassidy said to her friend looking at her in the mirror. They were both looking at her in awe. “Girl you look so good I might give you head. Now stop fidgeting and go and get your purse” Cassidy finished.

  “CASSIDY!” Shelby said laughing. “Is there a time when sex is NOT on you mind?” Shelby said walking back into her bedroom to grab her purse.

  “No! To be honest, I think of sex from the cocking of the rooster to the howl of the wolf. That my dear friend is why I am so happy. You should give it a shot” Cassidy said smiling as she fell back onto Shelby’s bed taking a sip of the amazing Sparkling Mascato Wine she had ordered from the twelve comers vineyard in Michigan. It was Shelby’s favorite Vineyard. She had went on a tour of it a couple of years ago with some family friends and had fallen in love with the wine and the people.

  “So what were you thinking the other night when you kissed Grey?” Shelby said to her cocking her eyebrow.

  “I.. Well..” Cassidy stammered trying to think of what she wanted to say.

  “Oh My God! You LIKE HIM!” Shelby said smiling in shock amazement and happiness. Before she could say anything her doorbell rang. “Oh My God he is here!” Shelby said running to the other side of her bed to check her make-up and hair again.

  “Calm down woman you act like you have never been on a date before. Jeez!” Cassidy said laughing. “I will get the door.�
� She said heading out of the room

  “Cassidy?” Shelby said. Cassidy popped her head back around the corner.

  “Don’t think I forgot about you, wanting my brother to dip his stick in your oil pan. We will talk about that later.” Shelby said to her friend winking. Laughing and walking down the steps Cassidy sang “Noo weee won’t” thinking that she was getting the last word.

  “Yes we will” Shelby sang quietly

  “I HEARD THAT!” Cassidy said from down stairs.

  Shelby ran around collecting the things she needed in her purse and started to head sown stairs she hated to keep people waiting. As she came down the steps she saw Zach, Dear God this man was sexy, He was wearing a Camel men’s purple label men’s Italian Cashmere blazer sport coat, men's button down front shirt with a classic collar, long sleeves, buttoned cuffs, button-down front, shirttail hemline with a contemporary slim straight fit a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo Parigi Nero Calf Leather Shoes and a pair of Straight Leg Denim Jeans. Zach was well dressed smelled like heaven and looked even better, and all Shelby could think about was Logan.

  *******

  When Zach pulled into the parking lot of O’Flannigan’s Shelby had not noticed she was having such a good time talking with him in the car. But as he helped her out of her of the car. She remembered the first time she had ever had sex with Logan. The passion that she had felt with him, she could almost feel him kissing her and sliding inside of her.

  “Are you ok?” Zach said to her as they were walking into the pub.

  “Yes! This is one of my favorite places to eat.” Shelby said smiling. As they stepped in waiting for the hostess to seat them. Shelby looked around the restaurant, O’Flannigan’s was very busy tonight. People were laughing and talking enjoying their drinks and meals. Shelby glanced at the bar and there he was sitting there talking to Lance and some other woman. Probably the woman of the hour. Logan, looking as handsome as ever. “No, No you will NOT stand here and pine for a man that wants nothing to do with you, when you have a gorgeous man that you have come here with that wants your attention.” Shelby thought to herself.

  Shelby and Zach fell into a comfortable conversation and deciding what they wanted to order. Neither of them realized they had been spotted and were being watch by Logan. He and Lance had come out to eat and have drinks. Kind of a way to make up and just get Logan out of the shop.

  “Don’t even think about it” Lance said to his brother. He had seen them too. Lance could see the longing in Logan’s face

  “Don’t even think about what?” Logan asked. Never breaking his stare at the couple at the table.

  “Don’t even think about going over there.” Lance said. Nudging his brother to break his trance. Logan looked at him, “You pushed her away Logan, you told her she was not good enough. She looks like she is happy, if you do not intend to do the right thing by her. I need you to leave her be” Lance finished/

  “I know” Logan said shaking his head and looking down. He then looked back to the table and Shelby was laughing at something that guy was whispering in her ear. “She really looks beautiful tonight doesn’t she? He finished.

  “Yeah she does” Lance said shaking his head. Lance took another bite of his food, watching his brother as he sat there enthralled with Shelby. Lance realized his brother did not know it but he was in love. Nudging his shoulder again he said “So what are you going to do about it?” Before Lance could get the question out completely Logan was off his stool and heading toward there table. Lance chucked a little and then remembered who is brother was. “Shit” he said to himself as he followed behind Logan.

  Shelby back was facing the two men that were approaching the table. She was laughing and Zach was stroking the back of her had when Logan stopped behind her and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

  “You look downright edible tonight!” Logan said to her. Leaning to the side, startled and annoyed Shelby flinched away from Logan.

  Sensing Shelby getting pissed Lance extended his hand to her date. “Hi. I am Lance, this is my brother Logan we are old friends of Shelby’s”

  Zach took Lances hand, wondering what was going on. Finally saying “Hello, I am Professor Zachary Walker, I work with Shelby it’s nice to meet you” The silence at the table was defining, Shelby was stewing in anger, Logan was staring at Shelby like he was a man that just came out of the dessert for eight days and she was a glass of water, and Lance and Zach and Lance were trying to figure out what to do. Finally after minutes of silence that felt like forever Zach cleared his throat and Lance mumbled under his breath. “Awkward”. Having had enough Shelby stood up suddenly looking at Zach as he stood up, always the gentleman.

  “Excuse me Zach I am going to go to the ladies room. Lance sweetie although it was good to see you when I come back you..” Shelby said pausing and pointing at Lance and then Logan. “And your brother should not be at this table. Ok thanks” Shelby finished sarcastically as she walked toward the ladies room. “Who the hell did Logan think he was?” Shelby was thinking. How dare he think that he can just walk up to me and whisper in my ear and all is forgiven? One thing her family treating her like she was nothing had taught her it was she deserved to be treat with respect and love. Logan had his chance and decided that he wanted to cuddle up with the chip on his shoulder then so be it. If he is at that table when I get back I just may forget that we were ever friends or lovers and give him a peace of my mind.

  Luckily when Shelby returned to her table Logan and Lance had left the restaurant all together. Shelby felt a small pain of sadness that he had so easily left but then again that would make it so that she could focus on Zach.

  “I am so sorry about the interruption Zach” Shelby said as she sat down.

  “Oh please don’t be.” Zach said waiving her off as he dug into his plate, the waitress had brought their food just before Shelby got to the table. “It’s always good to see someone that is desperately in love.” He finished.

  Dropping her fork on her plate for a few short seconds shocked at what Zach had said. Recovering and laughing non chalantly she said “Oh, I am not in love with either of them, they are like my brothers I went to school with them we have been friends for years.” she said picking up her fork a digging in to her pasta. Smiling and looking at his plate Zach looked up and Shelby and smiled and said “I was not talking about you” Zach said looking into her eyes “I was talking about Logan that is a man that is head over heels in love with a woman” he said. Zach was looking at Shelby trying to gage her response to what he was telling her and her fidgeting and in ability told him more than words could.

  ‘Well it’s not with me.” Shelby said avoiding looking him in the eye.

  Chapter 6

  Zach and Shelby had spent three hours at dinner talking and laughing it had been a wonderful evening. But there was not one spark for Shelby. Not even an ember. “DAMN YOU LOGAN” she thought. Months if not weeks ago Shelby would have loved adored Zach and the evening she spent with him. But now, after experiencing his unmitigated heat and the most earth shattering orgasms of her life she was sure. This man this date, seemed like a waste of time. But Shelby would be damned if she was going to let desire and girlish fancy ruin her chances of being content. As Zach pulled up in front of Shelby’s house she could smell the Magnolias and grass in there air, there was a slight breeze blowing through the car engulfing them in the warmth and breeze of the evening. The stars were shining in the air like chandeliers hanging in the night sky.

  “Zach, I had a wonderful time tonight thank you so much.” Shelby said smiling as she turned toward him in the car.

  “I did too. I have not enjoyed the company of a beautiful sexy woman in a long time, and you are both of those along with being a genius.” Shelby smiled bashfully she was so unsure of what to do. She wanted to feel something for Zach but couldn’t. Zach leaned into toward the passenger side of the car to getting within a hairs breathe of her lips, caressing her cheek and looking in to her eyes, he leane
d in for the kiss. As their lips touched Shelby marveled at how a little more than a month ago she had day dreamed about kissing him. Now is was awkward and she wasted to stop, she felt like she was kissing her brother. Shelby allowed the kiss to linger as long he wanted as to not embarrass him. As he back into the driver’s seat, Shelby waited unsure what to say.

  “Was that as bad for you as it was for me?” Zach said. They both started to laugh and once the laughter subsided. Shelby said.

  “I am so sorry Zach I just don’t feel there is any chemistry” Shelby said grabbing his hand and stroking the top of his hand with her thumb.

  “Shelby please do not apologize. I am just honored you gave me a chance.” Zach said.

  “I am so glad I got to spend the evening with a delicious man.” Shelby said fanning herself. They both laughed, Shelby was so glad she had not hurt him. No the only person she was torturing is herself.

  “Here let me walk you to your door.” Zach said. Getting out to walk her to her door. Once Shelby dug out her keys and gave them to Zach to unlock the door.

  “I had a great time Zach I really did” Shelby told him kissing his once last time before he left. Locking the door and turning on the lamp in her living room illuminated the room.

  “AHH!” Shelby screamed. Logan was sitting in her living room in one of her wing-backed chairs that she had sitting in her picture window. “LOGAN! Jesus you scared me! How did you get in?” she finished. Lifting his hand with keys in it and shaking them he said “You gave a copy of your key Lance and he gave me a duplicate set.” Logan said cocking a little smile in the corner of his mouth.

  Throwing her purse on the sofa table. Shelby out her hand out saying “Give me my key Logan”

  Logan stood up help the keys in the air, then pushing the deep down in to his pocket he said “Come and get it”