All That I Want: A Queensbay Small Town Romance

by Drea Stein

  After the brief frenzy of that night, she had seen that Jake was dependable and that his dreams and hopes and goals were steady and consistent. He knew he wasn’t destined for big time football. He’d wanted to get done with college so he could come back home and start building houses. He was a small town guy, and she had been eager to fling herself out into the world. Now here she was, bruised and battered and washed ashore, and he was still the same small town guy, albeit with a thriving regional business, just where he wanted to be.

  He faced her, took her hand, and as if he could read all of the thoughts flitting through her mind, said, “I don’t know what brought you back, Colleen, but it looks like you’re here to stay. It just might be more enjoyable if we got to know each other again.”

  She shook her head and said, “I don’t think you’ve changed much. You’re right where you wanted to be.”

  He dropped her hand and took a step back as if she’d slapped him. She hadn’t meant to insult him, but she saw that she had.

  “Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and sticking to it,” he said stiffly.

  “Jake, I didn’t mean to say there was.”

  “As I recall, that’s exactly what you said when you left. Wasn’t it something like,” he paused for effect and then threw her words back at him, “‘Jake Owen, you’re never leaving this town. And I am, leaving here and seeing the world and never coming back.’”

  She smiled, blinked back sudden tears, and replied, “Well, I’m back now. You’re a good guy, successful, well-established. I’m still finding my way, and I need some space to do it, to breathe, and to be clearheaded about it.”

  He took a step closer, so close that she thought they were going to kiss. For one brief moment, she let herself imagine what it would be like. She could feel the heat between them, feel the desire from him. She closed her eyes halfway, almost felt him leaning in, then she stepped away. She did not need a man to help her, as easy as it would be to fall into those arms and say yes, Jake, send a crew over. She couldn’t do that. She had learned the hard way that nothing came for free. She had learned her lesson, and she needed to teach her daughter the same thing, if only by setting the example.

  He stopped midway through his move toward her and nodded.

  “Okay, we’ll take it slow,” he said.

  “We’ll take it nowhere,” she said firmly as she came back to her senses.

  “If that’s what you want to tell yourself. Colleen, it’s been a long time, but I think you and I both know there’s some unfinished business between us. You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here, now. So I think we can both count on figuring out just what’s going on between the two of us.”

  He smiled, turned around, and walked out the door.

  “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” she called after him, trying not admire his tall, athletic build. So not my type, she told herself.

  The sun had come out, so he stopped a moment to slip on his sunglasses. He couldn’t quite keep the grin off of his face. For some women it was shoes, some it was flowers, others chocolate. For Colleen it appeared to be old furniture. Good thing he had a whole warehouse full of stuff he had pulled off of job sites. Never knew when you were going to need something, whether it was antique floorboards, an old-fashioned clawfoot tub, or some old piece of furniture begging for a little tender loving care.

  He was whistling as he headed to the truck. He’d always known she was something special.

  Chapter 10

  Jake’s words bothered her, leaving her feeling nervous and unsettled. What did he mean by unfinished business between them? She sighed. She knew exactly what he meant, and the only question was what was she going to do about it? The walk to the preschool was doing nothing to settle her nerves, but she felt the familiar tingle of happiness as she turned the corner toward the day care. Adele loved it here, and that was one bright spot. Adele was happy to see her, even happier when she suggested that they stop by the park on the way home. Together they walked hand in hand to the small playground next to the library, Adele happily chattering about her day.

  She loved to talk about her teachers and the still strange mannerisms of the kids, especially one, Josh, who only ate white food. Adele was French enough to not be a picky eater, and the thought someone could not like to eat almost everything incomprehensible. Colleen smiled down at her daughter, noting with wistfulness that her little face seemed to be getting more and more grown-up by the day. Adele’s words came out in a tumbling stream and when she did not know the English one, she substituted the French one, and Colleen followed along, nodding in all the proper places.

  This late in the afternoon, the sun was still strong, so she was glad to see that at least one of the benches at the playground was shaded by a sprawling oak tree. She took Adele’s assorted things and sat down. Adele ran off, and Colleen watched until she saw her talking to some other girls. Soon there was a game going, and Colleen relaxed, thankful that at least one of them was finding her place. In the moment of relative peace, she tried to relax but found that her mind was racing. Jake, the store, Olivier, Phil, Darby, Adele.

  It was so hard to be sure she was doing the right thing. There was no way of knowing, which was the hardest pill to swallow. Where would all of her choices up to this point and all of them past this point lead? Would it ever be alright?

  Caught up in her own thoughts, it took a while before she registered the stares directed in her direction. She looked across the sandbox at the park bench at the two women who sat there. Colleen knew one of them. Amy Anderson, formerly Amy Waters. Married, with one kid, Mackenzie who went to Happy Faces with Adele.

  Colleen sighed. Though she and Amy had gone to high school together, they hadn’t exactly been what you would call friends. But unlike what had happened with Darby, Amy had brought that incident on herself. Still, hadn’t enough time passed that they could move on? Perhaps they could laugh about it over drinks, maybe while their kids had a play date. Isn’t that what mommies did here? Wine Wednesdays and Tipsy Tuesdays or something like that?

  Adele had moved from the slide to the sandbox, which featured a concrete sculpture of a mother turtle and a baby turtle. Kids played on and about it, and Adele was soon in the sand, building something with two other girls. Colleen decided it was now or never. If she was going to be in Queensbay and run a business, she needed friends. Colleen wiped her hands on the skirt of her dress. They were just a little sweaty as she idled her way over to the general vicinity of the bench where the two mothers were sitting. One had a stroller with a bundle of blue in it. Colleen could just make out the tip of a nose and eyes closed tightly in slumber. She would compliment the baby, Colleen thought, that would be a good place to start; she couldn’t go wrong there.

  “Oh my, what a lovely baby,” she said, pitching her voice low, so as not to wake him up.

  Amy turned to look at her, a challenging, direct look, while the other woman gave her a tentative smile, which faded as she saw the look on Amy’s face. The silence stretched into rudeness, and Colleen straightened, readying herself for the fight.

  “I’m Lisa,” the other woman said, taking pity on her.

  “Colleen.”

  There was still silence from the other woman, so Colleen decided to take the plunge. “Amy, nice to see you again.”

  Amy continued to stare frostily at her. Colleen swallowed. This wasn’t going to be easy. Luckily for her, Lisa was an easier nut to crack.

  “You’re from around here?” Lisa asked, against the silence.

  “I used to be. I grew up in Queensbay, but I’ve been living in Paris.”

  “Paris,” Lisa breathed, and Colleen saw real excitement in her eyes. “I love Paris, I mean I only went once, for like three days, and it was on a bus tour.”

  “Don’t worry, it still counts,” Colleen said, though she knew her Parisian friends would frown at such a touristy way to see the city. To get to know Paris, one had to walk and walk some more.r />
  “Oh my, why did you leave? I mean, if I lived in Paris, I don’t know that I would ever leave there.”

  Colleen smiled, tried to hide her nervousness. “I decided to open a store in Queensbay. Grand opening is in a few weeks. I hope you’ll stop by.” There, it was out. She had said it, and now she knew she needed to make sure she really did it.

  Lisa was about to say something when Amy finally decided to chime in. “I heard you’re back because your sugar daddy kicked you to the curb.”

  “Amy,” Lisa hissed, her voice horrified. The little blue package made a fussing sound, and Lisa’s hand automatically went out to push the stroller back and forth as she bent over and began to make soothing noises over the baby.

  Colleen froze and then turned to Amy. “What did you say?”

  “I heard you had to leave. That your baby daddy’s wife told you to get out.”

  Colleen laughed, or at least tried to. She wondered how Amy had struck so close to the truth. Who could know about all of that?

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, I think you do. I mean, it’s a pattern with you, stealing other people’s boyfriends. Started with Jake and the prom, then you find some French prince to shack up with. Now that he’s turned you out, you’re here with your little bastard. And, don’t get too cozy with Jake Owen. He might just be taken as well.”

  Colleen tried to collect her swirling thoughts, trying to decide just where this antipathy was coming from. Lisa, who looked embarrassed by her friend, stood up as the baby in the stroller’s fussing became more agitated.

  “You, know I really should get him home. Kylie, come here, Henry needs to go home.”

  There was a bit of fussing from Kylie, but in the end she skipped to her mother, and they took off, a neat unit walking down the block, after a quick good-bye.

  “Mackenzie, come here,” Amy said, throwing a baleful look at Colleen.

  Mackenzie, who looked to be in the middle of telling Addie some secret, looked up. She was about to protest, but one look at her mother’s face told her that there was no room for negotiation.

  “Nice to see you too, Amy,” Colleen said as the woman led her daughter off.

  Colleen sank down on the bench and let the colors of the park swirl around her. Bright pink jackets, the green of the trees, the early flowers. She wondered just who had been talking and what sort of stories had been going around about her. She had come back home to regroup, to start over, but somehow she wasn’t finding things quite as inviting as she thought they might be.

  Adele came over after a moment. She had dirty hands and a smudge of dirt on her face.

  “Why did they leave?”

  “Do you know those girls?”

  “They go to school with me,” Adele said.

  “Are they friends with you?”

  “Yes, Mama. Why wouldn’t they be?”

  “No reason, just asking. Is it time to go home yet?”

  “Swing?” Adele said hopefully instead, and Colleen smiled and nodded.

  A swing, a playground. If that’s all it took to make Adele happy, then that was what mattered. Adele ran over to the swing, where a little boy was being pushed by a tall blond woman. Adele said hi, and waved her mother over. Colleen swallowed, took a breath, not sure she could handle an encounter with another person, but Adele wanted to swing, so swing she would.

  She walked over and started pushing, giving a small nod and smile to the woman. They pushed the kids in silence until the other woman broke it.

  “Those women.” It was just two words, but there was something in the way that it was said that managed to convey both shame and something close to solidarity.

  Colleen looked at the other woman closely. She really was much taller than Colleen, even in her flat bottomed red Converse sneakers. She was dressed casually, in ripped faded jeans, a plain gray t-shirt, and a brown suede jacket.

  “Do you know them?” Colleen asked, returning her attention to the woman’s face.

  “They go to preschool with Josh,” the woman answered with a nod. “I call them the Queensbay Meanie Queenies.”

  Colleen stifled laughter, even as the woman explained.

  “Everyone here is like the Stepford Wives. They all have the same jeans, flats, and expensive bags and strollers. And, that’s just the kids. The moms are even worse. Makes me want to vomit. I mean, I thought high school was the last time you had to dress to fit in. Come on, we’re grown-ups. We should be allowed to wear what we want, right? And let our kids do the same.”

  “Adele goes to preschool with them too.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult anyone,” the woman said and looked mortified.

  “I’m not friends with them,” Colleen hastily assured her. Especially not after what Amy had said to her.

  “Oh, good. I mean, well, they just don’t seem very nice.”

  Colleen considered and sighed. They weren’t, but the sad fact was that she hadn’t been much different, once upon a time.

  “Sand box, please. Josh and are going to build a castle.” Adele turned and Colleen let the swing slow, helping her out. Josh, impatient, jumped off the swings and the two of them raced off toward the sandbox.

  “So, Josh goes to Happy Faces too?” Colleen asked and wondered if this was the same Josh Adele had told her about, the one who only ate white foods.

  “For now,” the woman said matter-of-factly. They drifted toward the bench that was near to the sandbox.

  Colleen wondered what was behind those words. There weren’t a lot of preschools in town, as Colleen had found out. Any of the other places would have required Colleen to drive Adele, and she preferred, for the moment, that her life was mostly contained within a relatively small radius of her house, the preschool, the bar, and the shop. A far cry from Paris, but that was going to have to be acceptable.

  “I’m Colleen.”

  “Lydia Snow.” The other woman stuck out a hand, and Colleen took it. The grip, as she expected, was firm and enveloping, and there was a hint of roughness over it, as if Lydia worked outside or at least worked with her hands a lot.

  “It’s not fair!” A bellow came from the sand pile, and then there was a shower of sand.

  Before Colleen could realize what was happening, Lydia was on her feet and heading over toward the children.

  “Josh, what did I say about throwing sand?” Lydia’s voice was weary, as if she had said it a thousand times before.

  Colleen stood too, her eyes scanning Adele, who looked unharmed but unhappy.

  “My dress is ruined,” Adele said icily, and Colleen had to smother a smile.

  “Darling, it’s not ruined. Nothing a little detergent can’t take care of,” Colleen replied.

  She had tried to explain to Adele that it might be better to dress in more casual play clothes, but Adele was part French after all and could not be swayed from wearing dresses even to pre-school.

  “He,” Adele said, and pointed at Josh, “threw sand.”

  “You didn’t want to play cops and robbers,” Josh said, his voice hurt and his arms crossed over his chest.

  “I said I would play after I finished building my castle.”

  “Well, your castle is done.”

  Colleen looked, seeing no evidence of a castle.

  “Because you stepped on it,” Adele said.

  “You made me,” Josh said.

  Colleen didn’t have to check her watch to know that it was probably time to go.

  “I did not.”

  “Did too.”

  “Josh,” Lydia said testily “You did too, I saw you.”

  “Well, she didn’t want to play.”

  “She did, just not right away.”

  “Hailey always plays with me.”

  “Hailey gets paid to play with you, Josh.”

  Colleen was shocked and waited for the outburst of tears. Instead there was none, just the stamp of a foot, oddly defiant and heartbreaking.
r />   “How about this. Why don’t we build a castle over here and a city here and then connect it with a bridge. New and old,” Lydia suggested in the same matter-of-fact voice.

  “Like Paris,” Adele said, her mind captured.

  “Yes, like Paris,” Lydia said. “Here, I’ll start over here.”

  “Mama, come help.”

  Colleen smiled, glad she had worn jeans today. It didn’t take long before Josh and Adele were busy enough that they didn’t need help. Carefully, Lydia took a seat on the concrete edge of the sand pit, and Colleen followed her.

  “That was a good idea.”

  “Yes. Josh’s therapist says that he needs to work on his deflection and compromising skills.”

  “Oh.” Colleen wasn’t sure what to say.

  “At least that’s what my dad told me. Who knows? I think he’s just a kid who hasn’t had someone tell him ‘no’ a lot. His babysitter pretty much gives him what he wants.”

  “So you’re not his mother? Or his babysitter?” Colleen had been trying to figure out the exact relationship between Lydia and Josh all afternoon but hadn’t wanted to ask outright.

  “Oh no, couldn’t pay me enough. I mean, I like kids,” Lydia said, then paused, and then frowned. “Actually, I don’t know much about them.”

  Colleen was well and truly confused. It must have showed on her face, and Lydia took pity on her.

  “I’m Josh’s sister. Hailey is his babysitter. She’s on her vacation, and if the gods are willing, she’ll be back next Monday.”

  “His sister?” Colleen was pretty sure there was a solid twenty-year age difference between Josh and Lydia.

  “Yes. Let’s see, his mom, Charlene, is my dad’s fourth wife. I’m from my dad’s first marriage. So technically we’re only half siblings, but that’s a mouthful. And it’s just the two of us. There weren’t any other kids. Dad is, well, not exactly the fatherly type, unless you count marrying women who are young enough to be his daughter.”

  “So you live with them?”

  “Oh no … are you kidding? I grew up in Georgia with my mom. I live in Savannah now. I’m just visiting. I mean, my dad and I, well, close might not be the right word, but we’re not estranged, either. He’s always supported me, so he called, because Hailey’s gone, and Charlene is out in Arizona. I think she’s in rehab, or maybe it’s just an extended stay at the spa, so my dad asked me to help out.”