All That I Want: A Queensbay Small Town Romance

by Drea Stein

  She laughed. “Something like that. Guess the joke’s on me.”

  He looked at her, and while his hands radiated warmth and security, there was an entirely different look in his eye. “Well, we’re both here now. You have a kid. I suppose that means no late nights or sleepovers just yet.”

  “What?”

  “I want to get to know you again, Colleen. I want you to get to know me. I think they call it dating. You have a kid who you want to protect. I get it. So you tell me what the ground rules are for dating a single mother, and I’ll abide by them. But don’t try to just tell me to go away, because I’m a complication or a distraction. We both know you’d be lying.”

  She looked at Jake, finally admitting to herself what had been growing over the last several weeks. “Yes, I’d be lying.”

  “Good. We have a place to start.”

  She scanned his face carefully, trying to decide if he was teasing her, but for once she saw no humor in his face. She realized that she had seen many emotions cross Jake’s face: amusement, satisfaction, anger, but what she saw now was different. Maybe it was sincerity. When had she had last seen it in a man? She almost laughed because the answer was the last time would be when she had been with Jake, a long, long time ago.

  She turned away, unsure of what she was feeling.

  “Mama, Mama, swings.”

  Colleen pulled her hands from Jake’s and looked down at her daughter. It took her a moment to pull herself back into the reality. Where had she been? Daydreaming about something, pulled down memory lane. It was a dangerous place to be.

  She looked at her watch. “We have to go home to dinner.”

  Adele looked at her, and she could sense the pleading that was about to begin. All of a sudden though, she needed to get away from Jake and his too-close presence.

  “Tomorrow,” she told Adele. “I can bring you again tomorrow. Remember tonight, croque monsieurs for dinner. And I said we would make madeleines.”

  Adele looked torn. She already loved to cook, and Colleen could see the fierce struggle going on inside the little girl’s head between more time in the park and the siren call of the kitchen.

  “Tomorrow I will leave work early, and we can have an extra half-hour in the park.”

  That sealed the deal. She was smart enough to know when the offer was too good to refuse.

  “I can walk you home,” Jake started to say and took a step in their direction. Adele looked curious and, Colleen thought, pleased by the idea. She had a horrible thought of the questions Adele would ask or the information she would surrender without much of a fight and it seemed quite clear to her that Jake could in no way accompany them home.

  Colleen shook her head firmly. “We will be fine. Another time.”

  Jake nodded and took a step back. “Think about what those rules are,” he said, his voice low.

  She took Adele by the hand, and they started to walk away. She felt rather than saw Adele twist around, knowing that her daughter must be giving one final wave to Jake, before she turned around and skipped ahead, doing her best to avoid the cracks in the sidewalk. As for herself, Colleen did not trust herself to turn around, and so marched straight on, aware of Jake’s lingering gaze at her retreating figure.

  Chapter 28

  “Wow. What a difference a couple of days makes.”

  Colleen looked up and smiled when she saw the tall blonde woman step into the store. Lydia was dressed up for her, in a pair of black leggings, flats, and a flowy oversized blouse. Enormous black sunglasses acted as a headband, holding her hair away from her face. Not a paint splash or clay splatter was to be seen. Cradled carefully in her arms was a cardboard box with a sparkly blue bow.

  “Lydia,” Colleen greeted her friend happily.

  “I thought I’d check up on your progress, see if you needed any help.”

  Colleen looked at her and guessed. “Artist’s block?”

  Lydia nodded sheepishly. “I wasn’t getting anything done in the studio, so I decided to get out. I thought something mindless like sweeping or painting or cleaning might relax me. And I wanted to bring you this.”

  “That’s so sweet of you,” Colleen said taking the box. She set it down on the counter and opened it up, peeling back the layers of newspaper until she uncovered what was in it.

  She lifted the candlesticks and they caught the sunlight pouring in through the now-uncovered windows.

  “They’re beautiful, luminous,” she said, and they were. They were light, airy, and a beautiful color between blue and green that reminded her of the water in the harbor just before a storm rolled in.

  “I thought maybe you’d like to take some of my pieces, on commission of course, so no risk to you. I’ve been experimenting with a new glaze, trying to get the color right. It reminds me of the green of the harbor in the evening as the light is fading. There’s also the tint when the wind is stirring up the whitecaps, and it froths it into something more translucent.” Lydia’s voice had gone airy, and the look on her face was dreamy as she talked about her art.

  “They’ll be perfect over here,” Colleen said as she walked toward a spot where the light came in. “No one will be able to miss them.”

  “Oh good. I am glad you like them. I have other pieces, but you can start with that.”

  “I had no idea …” Colleen said, then hesitated, unsure of the phrasing.

  “What? That I wasn’t just some crazy lady who likes to play with clay?”

  “Well …” Colleen hadn’t wanted to admit that she’d thought Lydia might just be spending her daddy’s money to play around with clay.

  “Nope, I am a real art school grad. I teach too, in Savannah, but I took the semester off to help with Josh. I told Daddy I would come but on the condition that he had to have a kiln installed. It’s been really great for my work, you know, just being able to focus on Josh and creating. I am glad he’s in school a couple of hours every day. Still, there are days that are harder than others.”

  “Do you sell anywhere else?”

  Lydia nodded. “Oh, yes. Some places in Manhattan, L.A., New Orleans, and down in Florida. I am trying to get into San Francisco too.”

  Colleen nodded, slightly overwhelmed. “Very impressive. Thank you so much.”

  “Cool,” Lydia said, and she seemed suddenly nervous. “I’m supposed to give you this. My dealer, I mean my art dealer, says you’re supposed to sign it, that way I know I’ll get paid.”

  Colleen took the papers Lydia handed her and glanced over them. She stopped when she saw the name. “You’re repped by the Norman Gallery.”

  “Oh, have you heard of them?”

  Colleen nodded. “You might say.”

  The Norman Gallery was huge, with outposts in Manhattan, London, and Paris. She’d dealt with them when she worked for Olivier. The gallery took on established artists as well as up-and-coming ones. Lydia Snow was much more than some woman who played with clay indeed.

  “Well great,” Lydia said. “If you sell them, I told Josh I’d take him for ice cream. And he wants Adele to come along too. He’s taken quite a shine to her—probably because she doesn’t cave into his narcissistic bullshit. She’s just cool.”

  “It seems like I should be buying you the ice cream,” Colleen said, slightly overwhelmed that she was going to be displaying Lydia’s work in her own small store.

  “No way, I’m trying to teach the kid about delayed gratification. I am sure it will all be undone once Hailey gets back, but a big sister has got to try.”

  “Absolutely. I’ll buy you a glass of wine when I sell this. You might want to get ready and create a few more. I have the feeling these aren’t going to last long.”

  “Cool,” Lydia said, and her face broke into a grin. “I think this place is going to be a smashing success.”

  Colleen shrugged, just a little bit nervous. “Sometimes it all feels false. Like I’m creating this life that I will never get to live.”

  “Well, nothing wrong with sel
ling a dream. I get it: ‘La Belle Vie.’ Name of the blog, name of the store; it all sort of ties together.”

  Colleen nodded as she fussed with where to place some towels. She had unearthed an old butcher block island. Actually, she had found it on the side of the road and asked one of Jake’s crew to help her bring it back in his truck. She’d bought them all lunch as a thank you. Now it was sitting in one section of the shop as the anchor to her home goods section. She’d only had time to give it a quick coat of paint but with the candlesticks and her French linen towels, the vignette, as she liked to think about it, was starting to take shape.

  “I like it. Nice complement to the Garden Cottage. She’s going to take some of my flower pots, by the way,” Lydia said, sounding excited and amazed. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe that people really want to buy my stuff.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” Colleen said with a smile. “From what I’ve seen, your work is amazing.”

  “I don’t know,” Lydia said, “it’s not like I’m kissing guys all over town.”

  Lydia put it out there, and Colleen looked at her.

  “Sorry, had to ask. Smooth segues in conversation aren’t my forte. So you better just spill, otherwise you’ll be subjected to more of my heavy-handed attempts at finding out what happened.”

  “He came by the park later on.” Colleen said.

  “And?”

  “He pushed Adele on the swing.”

  “Okay,” Lydia said slowly.

  Colleen stacked her folded towels. She needed to price these. She looked around for her sticker gun.

  “Adele’s father never once pushed her on a swing.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’m not looking for a dad for her.”

  “Okay.”

  “Can you say something more than that?”

  “Nope,” Lydia said cheerfully. “I want to hear what you have to say. What I think isn’t important.”

  “So …” Colleen struggled to find words. “I don’t need him coming into my life and acting …”

  “Like a nice guy who might want to kiss you and push your daughter on the swing. Let me guess, you’re a package deal, you and Adele.”

  “No.”

  “No?” Lydia was clearly puzzled.

  “We’re not any sort of deal. We don’t need anyone in our life.”

  “Okay, I get how you can rock the single mom gig, but, I mean, you don’t plan to become a nun, do you?”

  “A what?”

  “You are going to have sex again sometime.”

  “I haven’t thought about that,” Colleen said, knowing her voice sounded prim.

  “Oh, honey,” Lydia drawled, “everyone thinks about that sooner or later.”

  “Fine,” Colleen admitted. “I can have sex, but that part is separate. My needs can be met …”

  “With a simple hook up? Sure, that might work for a while, but look around. You’re a nester if I have ever met one. You’re going to want to share that with someone.”

  “With Adele. And my mom.”

  “Okay, so that sounds like some weird version of The Golden Girls, but I think you may be selling yourself short.”

  “I’ve got a business to open up and run.”

  “All those sound like good excuses. You know that you can have sex when the shop isn’t open?”

  “I just don’t want Adele to get her hopes up.”

  Lydia laughed. “Now you’ve hit the nail on the head. I buy that excuse more than anything else. Maybe you just start with the hot sex with the guy with the amazing abs and take it from there. If he occasionally pushes Adele on the swing, think of it as a bonus.”

  Colleen sighed. Lydia had been right about one thing. She was a nester, and there was some part of her that would always long for the things she had stopped believing in. Jake had told her that the rules of the relationship were hers to make. But once made, would she be able to navigate them? Or stick to them? And what happened when one of them wanted more?

  Chapter 29

  Jake stepped into La Belle Vie, shutting the door gently behind him. He’d been thinking about Colleen a lot since he had left her in the park. He’d kept his distance, respecting her desire to think about how she wanted to handle their relationship. He understood that she had someone to think about besides herself, but, after not hearing from her, he decided that he needed to give her a nudge, a gentle one, to let her know that he hadn’t changed his mind. Sure, her having a daughter made things a little more complicated, but this was his second chance with Colleen McShane, and he was ready to take her on, child and all.

  He glanced around, taking in the whole of the shop. The place looked good, especially now that she was stocking the store with her inventory. It smelled nice too, like lavender, he realized, and he saw a basket filled with little bags of it that he knew were supposed to go in your drawers. Well, not his. But maybe he should pick some up for his mother, or the women who worked in his office. There was a section with soaps and potions, then one with things for the kitchen, towels, dishes, and candlesticks.

  He admired the butcher block she had found and recognized how she had cleaned it up and transformed it. She appeared from behind the curtain that separated the main part of the shop from the back storage space. She had changed out the beads Phil had used for a simple linen cloth curtain. He missed the clack of the beads but had to admit that the curtain was more in keeping with the style of the store. She paused, then continued over to the butcher block where she put a stack of gaily patterned napkins down.

  “Looks great in here,” he said. “Totally amazing.”

  “Thanks to you,” she said. “I must have been crazy to think I could have done it all by myself. Are you here to drop off the final bill? One of your guys picked up the chairs the other day. I hope your mom likes them.”

  Jake looked at her and smiled. She was wearing one of her dresses, the kind that both covered and revealed, a filmy concoction patterned with bright flowers. Her hair was up, in a messy sort of bun, and he wanted to pull it down and run his hands through it. But he could sense the guard she had up, the edge on her as she watched him.

  He stuck his hands in his pocket, instead, determined, for the moment, to keep them to himself.

  “What?” she said. “Why are you smiling?”

  “Because you look pretty and smell nice. Can’t I smile about that?”

  Her hand rose to her throat.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll send you the bill. It has to go through accounting first.”

  “Okay,” Colleen said, and nodded.

  He took a step closer and was heartened to see that she didn’t step back.

  “You haven’t got back to me with your rules, you know.”

  She twisted her hands together.

  “Jake, I want to …”

  “Rip my shirt off?” he said, smiling, his voice teasing.

  “Yes,” she said and sounded surprised at herself. “I am attracted to you, and not just because you have an amazing set of abs. I always have been, and maybe that’s the problem.”

  “That’s a problem?”

  “It is when you tend to lose yourself. You have a way of turning my life upside down, Jake, and I came here to get my footing.”

  He came closer to her, and she didn’t move away. One strand of hair had escaped from her bun, and he tucked it behind her ear. She trembled, and he smiled. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, a short, sweet kiss. He broke it off and grinned at the confusion in her eyes.

  “So we go slow,” he said, “like I said. Rules. You make them. I’ll follow them. But, like I said, I want to see you. I get you’re a package deal. You tell me how that works.”

  “I’ve never done this before,” she said.

  “You’re a smart girl, one of the smartest people I know. You’ll figure it out.”

  He watched the emotions playing across her face. He wanted more, wanted her right now, but he fought every raging hormone in his body. She want
ed it to be less intense. Well, he could handle that. Sure, it would mean keeping a grip on his feelings, but he could do that for now.

  “Would you like to see something?”

  “What?” she asked and looked up, surprised.

  “Tomorrow morning. I want to show you something.”

  “Jake …”

  “I can use your professional opinion,” he said smoothly.

  “My what?”

  “Your eye for design. It’s a project I’m working on.”

  “Does this have anything to do with why you wanted all those pictures of the Showhouse?” she asked, suddenly curious.

  He thought about satisfying that curiosity but decided it would be more interesting for them both if he just shrugged. “It might.”

  “Okay, I’m in.”

  He smiled, caught the excitement in her voice. “You probably shouldn’t wear a dress. It’s a bit, umm, messy in there.”

  She looked as if she were considering it. “Fine. I’ll see if I own sneakers.”

  He started to react, but she shook her head. “I’m kidding,” she said. “I have work clothes too.”

  “Good,” he said. “I was starting to think you slept in your dresses. Not that it’s a bad way to picture you, but jeans might be more appropriate.”

  “So it’s a date.”

  He swooped in, brushed his lips against her cheek.

  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow around ten o’clock, here.”

  She nodded, and he left, whistling as he went out into the sunlight. There was something entirely satisfying, he thought, about keeping Colleen McShane off guard.

  Chapter 30

  Colleen didn’t know why she was nervous. This wasn’t even a real date. And she’d been on a bunch of those. They’d been sweet and boring, horrible and marginally tolerable. But none of them, not even the times she’d gone out with Olivier, had left her with such a case of jitters and anticipation as this nondate with Jake.

  She had dropped Adele off at school, where excitement about the upcoming spring pageant was riding high. Adele fervently hoped she would get the part of the flower, but the competition was fierce. Colleen assured her that no part was too small and that a long and fulfilling show business career lay ahead of her. And then she had gone to the shop, determined to work on inventory and spreadsheets.