All That I Want: A Queensbay Small Town Romance

by Drea Stein

  “No, I think she did it again, today.” He said and put his head in his hands.

  “Well, if you only think it, there’s probably some wiggle room.”

  “What?” He looked up.

  Quent was there again polishing a glass. Ellie traded a look with him, and it was so full of affection and happiness that Jake wanted to break something.

  “If you’re not sure, you probably have a second chance,” Quent agreed.

  “She has trust issues. And daddy issues,” Ellie said.

  “I’ve never been anything but there for her.”

  “The girl’s blind,” Ellie said. “I know. You built her store, fixed her steps, bought a puppy for her daughter.”

  “Boomer is my dog.”

  “Oh please, sugar, everyone knows why you bought the dumb puppy. Because Adele looked at you with those big eyes of her, and you were a goner.”

  Jake shrugged. The McShane girls had gotten under his skin. He had thought about the future, and he wondered how he could fit a car seat in his truck. Or whether it might be time to kick the renters out of the house he had bought up in The Heights and start the renovation he’d been dreaming about. They’d need at least three, possibly four bedrooms, because Adele would want a brother or a sister. And, well, he hoped Colleen might want to have another baby someday. With him. That was the future he dreamed about with Colleen, evenings on their porch overlooking the harbor, watching the kids catch fireflies while the sun set over the harbor.

  “I am not going anywhere. I am not Sean McShane or the Prince Charming she met in France. I’m me, Jake Owen.”

  “Darlin’, I know that. And I think she knows that.”

  ”What do I do, Ellie?”

  “Give her some time,” she answered. “She’ll realize she’s just scared. Girl’s so broken she doesn’t even know it. Every man has run out on her. Sure, she’ll make it sound like she and Adele’s daddy had an arrangement. That they were all grown up and sophisticated about it, but it’s not doubt he made her plenty of promises he never intended to keep just to make sure she didn’t run off on him. I am sure she doesn’t love him anymore, but she sure feels abandoned by him. Trust me. I’ve been in her shoes. Doesn’t know what she can trust or can’t.”

  Jake nodded. A thought was coming to him about one thing that would, he hoped, show Colleen that he meant what he said. He pushed back from his chair, pulled some money from his pocket, and slapped it on the bar.

  “Where you going?” Ellie asked suspiciously.

  “Don’t worry. Not to crowd her. I’ve got an idea.”

  Ellie and Quent watched him go. Ellie reached her hand almost unconsciously across the bar, and Quent, just as unconsciously took it, and pulled it gently to his lips, giving her a kiss.

  “Think they’ll figure it out?” Quent asked.

  “I hope they will,” Ellie said.

  Chapter 53

  “What is it that you’re afraid of?” Ellie asked. Colleen sensed a point to be made lurked somewhere behind the offhand way Ellie asked the question while she swirled the lemon in her club soda with the thin red plastic straw.

  “I’m not afraid of anything,” Colleen said as she looked for the Grand Marnier. The I-just turned-twenty-one girl at the end of the bar was ordering fancy drinks just to prove how sophisticated she was. If she kept it up, she’d feel like hell in the morning, but Colleen was in no mood to lecture.

  “Oh sugar, everyone is afraid of something.”

  “Like monsters in the closet? Okay, you will never find me camping. Did it once with the Girl Scouts and a bear came to our campsite and stole the hamburger rolls. I spent the whole night in my tent lying awake, listening to every nature sound and telling myself that I only needed to run faster than the girl sleeping next to me.”

  “Bears? I don’t think there are many bears here. And fine, if you don’t want to go camping, I get it. Trust me, you won’t find me camping. We have air conditioning and walls for a reason.”

  “Amen sister,” Colleen agreed and deposited the drink that was mostly cola and maraschino cherries in front of college girl, who was trying to impress college guy who was drinking a gin and tonic. She wanted to pull the girl aside and tell her stop laughing so hard at the guy’s dumb jokes and that she didn’t have to do anything with him just because he was buying her a drink. Colleen wanted to tell her to stay in school, to figure out how to code or program and start her own business. She shouldn’t want or need a guy.

  Instead, though, she took a deep breath and steeled herself. She couldn’t go around preaching to every younger version of herself. Sometimes a person just needed to make her own mistakes.

  Ellie wasn’t done. “So what are you really afraid of?”

  Colleen shrugged. It wasn’t that she didn’t have fears. She didn’t like mice or spiders, but that was pretty routine as far as fears went.

  “And I’m not talking about bugs and vermin. Or snakes. We’re meant to be afraid of those, unless they’re turned into cowboy boots, in which case you better be afraid of the fellah who wears them,” Ellie said.

  Colleen laughed and said, “Don’t tell me you’re afraid, even of those.”

  Ellie shrugged one elegant shoulder. She had gained a little weight, Colleen noticed, and it looked good on her. The gauntness was gone, and now Ellie looked like a commanding women of a certain age.

  “I was afraid of being alone,” Ellie said. “And of being poor. So afraid of being broke and alone that I made some questionable choices.”

  Collen shrugged. “Sometimes being broke and alone is better than the alternative.”

  “What?”

  “Being with someone and miserable.”

  “Was that what you were? Miserable with Mr. Fancy Pants.”

  Colleen nodded. “Not at first of course, but when it became clear to me that I was never going to be a priority in his life, I started to think about who I was and how I ended up where I was.”

  “Who did you blame,” Ellie asked. “Your mom or dad?”

  Colleen stilled for a moment.

  “Sorry, sugar, you don’t have to answer it. None of my business. But sometime until we can figure out why we did what we did, we can’t really move on.”

  “Have you moved on?” Collen asked.

  “I’d like to think I have, but maybe not. I still think about Bobby a lot, but now I remember the bad as well the good. I was beating myself up for how I lived my life, for all the mistakes I made, and then I decided, if I wanted to change, then I could. As simple as that.”

  “Can you?”

  Ellie gave a wry smile. “Only if you really want to. Not saying it’s easy. Just that the decision is simple. Follow through is a bitch though, and you’re bound to fall off the wagon once in a while, but as long as you keep trying, you’ll get there.”

  Colleen thought about what Ellie had said to her while she walked home after her shift. It wasn’t too late, and the night was warm. She didn’t know what to say to Jake, and it had seemed easier to avoid him. But the avoidance had slipped into days of silence between them. She missed him, and that was the problem. Somewhere along the way she had gotten used to him being around, and he had become a part of the life she was starting to build here with Adele.

  He had walked out on her, part of her told herself. But it hadn’t been like that, really. He had told he loved her and then given her space. What was she supposed to do with that? And she was pretty sure he’d told Amy Anderson to go to hell, given the way Amy glowered at her during pre-school pick up.

  She came to her house, opened the gate, which swung silently on well-oiled hinges. Jake must have taken care of that, since it had been on her to-do list for days. She stopped, looking at the steps. There was a white piece of paper there, taped on, with the words “Wet Paint” scrawled on with a marker. She smiled, almost started to cry. He must have come while she was working, painted the step for her, taken care of the gate. She imagined he’d asked Adele to help and how pati
ent he would have been while he showed her how to hold the brush, how to paint in long, even strokes.

  Gingerly, she went up the steps, avoiding the wet one and sat herself down in one of the ancient rocking chairs. She needed a moment more to herself. He was a good man, she thought, as she rocked slowly and looked at the step. A good man.

  Chapter 54

  Jake took a good long, look at the house. He sighed, acknowledging that the view was the best thing about it. He’d meant to do more to it, but this particular project had fallen by the wayside, with all the other things that had been going on. The house was a sturdy Craftsman style that had once been charming but was now in dire need of new everything, inside and out. The roof, the porch, bathrooms, kitchen, plumbing, and electricity all needed replacing. But it had generously sized rooms, a master suite, and three additional bedrooms, and it was a good solid house. He had bought it from the previous owners, an older couple who’d finally had to move in with their family out of state. He hadn’t done much with it over the last few years, which was good because it still boasted the original trim and some of the beautiful stained glass windows that were characteristic of the type.

  What Ellie had said to him had gotten him thinking. Sure he’d been a good guy, doing all the right things. He’d thought Colleen would get the picture, but she hadn’t because other people, particularly other men in her life, probably, had done some of the same things. Colleen had traveled, stayed in fancy hotels, dined in gourmet restaurants, but none of the past versions of him in her life had given her what couldn’t be bought.

  She was afraid that she wasn’t good enough for anyone to actually give her what she most wanted and needed: love and commitment, security and respect. She couldn’t see it, but she was doing just fine on her own. Sure, he’d helped, but she could have hired any contractor for the store. True, he hadn’t cashed her check yet, didn’t intend to, but she had taken what she’d been given, a run-down junk shop and her vision had turned it into a first-class retail store.

  All of those thoughts had gotten Jake thinking about what Colleen had said and what she had really meant. He knew he needed to show her, really show her that he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d done all of the small things. Now it was time for the big one. He knew she would love the house. This was her favorite part of town; once, a long time ago, she had told him that, and had even pointed out this house to him.

  He ran a hand along the wood railing of the porch. More solid than he had thought, which meant maybe he could just have it sanded and painted instead of replaced. He followed the porch along the whole front of the house. Good and solid. Inside was another story. Bathrooms and the kitchen would need to be completely redone. The floors needed refinishing, the walls repainted of course. The woodwork, if he remembered correctly, would need refinishing. Not a gut job, thankfully, but a thorough overhaul.

  Jake took the steps down and walked around the side of the house to the back. The lawn stretched away from him, a good flat piece of land that sloped a bit before it dropped to the bluff. A stairway led down to the beach, but the view gave the house its million-dollar potential. Queensbay Harbor stretched out in front of him, the mid-morning sun and blue sky turning the water into a mix of sapphire and diamonds. A clean, light breeze ruffled his hair and stirred the leaves of the trees that helped to separate this lot from its neighbors.

  A flagstone patio would be lovely out here, with a fire pit and some seating. A nice new grill and maybe even a countertop and refrigerator to keep the beverages chilled. Great for relaxing on summer evenings. She’d probably want him to string lights from the house to one of the trees. It would be nice to sit outside as the sun went down, hear kids running around looking for fireflies. He’d have to get a fence installed, a low one with a safety gate, so as to be sure to keep kids and dogs from heading down to the water unsupervised.

  He nodded. Yes, this was a good house, and he could see it all coming together. Of course, there wasn’t time to get it all perfect, and he was sure she’d want to have input. His crew could start on some of the basics, though. He pulled out his phone, fired off a few texts, and smiled. He loved it when a plan started to come together.

  Chapter 55

  Colleen finished her inventory while Adele sat on the counter, legs swinging. Adele was slightly miffed that they were working instead of going to the park, but Colleen needed to figure out what she needed to reorder after the success of the sidewalk sale.

  “Can I have a cookie?” Adele asked.

  Colleen almost said yes before she caught herself. “Nice try young lady, but didn’t you have one yesterday?”

  “That was yesterday,” Adele said. Her eyes were big and solemn as if that settled the matter.

  “I thought we agreed on half a cookie every other day,” Colleen said. Darby’s cookies were addictive, but they were also the size of Adele’s head.

  Colleen could see from Adele’s expression that her mind was gearing up for a logical argument, but whatever else she was going to say was cut off as she caught sight of the man who pushed open the door and walked into the shop.

  “Uncle Olivier!” she said, and Colleen turned as if in slow motion. Adele’s little body had flung herself at him, and he caught her, giving her a little swing up into the air.

  “My, my; let me look at you,” he said.

  Colleen felt cold suddenly, even though the shop was warm enough.

  “You look tres bien, ma cherie,” Olivier said. Adele was still in his arms, and Colleen couldn’t see her face, but she could only guess that it looked rapturous. Olivier had that effect on females; she had to give him that.

  He set her down, but Adele kept her hand intertwined with his. He turned and looked at her, and Colleen braced herself, waiting for it, the weak-kneed, stomach-leaping surge of excitement that had always accompanied his presence. She drew a deep breath. There was nothing. She still felt just the hint of annoyance, and now, she realized that she felt outrage as well. How dare he come here, to her town, without any warning? This was her town, her place. He had no right to chase them down.

  “Colleen, you look wonderful,” he purred. The accent usually got to her, made her practically swoon, but not today. It sounded fake, oily, and definitely not charming.

  “Olivier, you’re here. In Queensbay,” she said. She had wanted to not sound surprised, not like an idiot, but knew she was failing. She needed to pull herself together.

  “Charming little town,” he said as he moved closer to her. He kissed her then, and she pulled away, but it was just the traditional European greeting, one kiss on each cheek, and she relaxed just a fraction.

  He took her hand and looked into her eyes, as her senses tingled, warning her that he was trying to seduce her. “So lovely, my two belle mademoiselles. I have missed you. You said you would only be gone a little while, yet I find that you have a shop here, like you intend to stay, no?”

  “Why are you here?” she asked.

  “How long are you staying?” Adele asked at the same time.

  Olivier smiled the smile that used to make her want to jump in bed with him and stay there all day. “For a little bit. I have some business that brought me to New York, and I realized this little town, this Queensbay, wasn’t so far away, so I thought I would stop by and say hello.”

  “You’re going to stay for a while?” Adele asked, and the hope in her voice was almost too much for Colleen to hear. She didn’t stop to think about what her own thoughts were doing, the tumultuous brew of anticipation, excitement, and now dread that Olivier’s presence elicited.

  “For a while, ma petite cherie. Tell me, what do you do in this charmingly quaint town?” he asked Adele, but Colleen could see that it was directed toward her.

  Olivier walked around the store, taking it in, Adele’s hand still clutched in his, and Colleen found herself holding her breath. She hated herself for it, hated knowing that she was eager to know what he thought. It was her store, her life, her town. She should not car
e one whit what he thought.

  “Ahh, tres bien. It reminds me of the shop on the Rue de la Nord, the one where we found the mirror.”

  “Yes,” she said, letting out her breath. “I was trying for that. The way the space was open, with the light pouring in. Unfinished, but with a touch of the grand.”

  “Simple and elegant. I see you have some new pieces in here as well?”

  She nodded. “I’ve been adding some of my own pieces. They are being very well received.”

  “So business is good, mais oui?”

  Adele pulled Olivier over toward something, but not before he gave Colleen a look. It was assessing, approving, and, yes, just a little bit sexy.

  The bell tinkled, and she turned to greet the customer.

  “I got your text, thought you ladies might like some lunch,” Jake called out as he walked in, a box from The Golden Pear Café in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

  Olivier, his timing impeccable, as always, rounded a display at that same moment. Jake stopped in his tracks, taking in the way Adele was wrapped around him. His face went blank, and Colleen could almost have kissed him right there for his understanding. She had texted him a simple thank you after she had found her porch step painted. And he had texted back. And now, here he was, bringing her lunch.

  “Mr. Jake,” Adele said and detached herself from Olivier to give him a hug. He managed to ruffle her hair with his hand without spilling the coffee or tipping the box.

  “I didn’t know you had a guest or would have brought another cup,” he said as Adele went back to Olivier’s side. He handed the cup of coffee to Colleen.

  “Thanks. Jake, this is Olivier Martell. Olivier, Jake Owen.”

  Jake leaned forward. He didn’t exactly tower over Olivier but Colleen couldn’t help to note the contrasts between the two. Olivier, slim, elegantly dressed, very European and Jake, in his work boots, khakis, and polo shirt, the one that displayed his all-American muscles.