A Fluffy Tale 2: Warm & Fuzzy

by Ann Somerville

  “Nightmares?”

  “No. Something...something worse. I lie in bed and...I don’t want it to happen, but it just does. I start replaying what I remember of what happened just before...in the bar, I mean.”

  “When you went for drinks with him and the others?”

  “Yeah. I get to a certain point and then there’s this...nothing.” He shivered. “I feel like I’m falling into the hole where the memory should be. Being swallowed by the nothing.” He shrugged. “Then I get up and come downstairs, read until I sleep. Sometimes it takes a while to happen.”

  “You could have taken time off.”

  “Yeah, right. I thought I’d already labelled myself a drunk. I didn’t know the man I was trying to prove something to was behind it.”

  Spen touched his shoulder, then remembered why that was a bad idea. He pulled his hand away. “Sorry.”

  “Why? I don’t mind.” As if to prove the point, Kani climbed up onto Daniel’s shoulder and looked at Spen, as if to ask him why he couldn’t make such a natural gesture of comfort. Spen patted Kani, but was careful not to touch Daniel again. Daniel turned to look at him. “What’s wrong, Spen?”

  “I don’t want to be...you know, like him. Always patting you.”

  Daniel grimaced. “That I won’t miss. I hated that. I thought he was just friendly, but I guess he was feeling out the territory.”

  “Yes, he was. Softening you up. I hated seeing him do it.”

  “That night! You saw him on the security video, didn’t you?”

  Busted. “Yeah. And while I’m being honest...I knew about your family before you told me. Luke, uh, had been investigating. Because he’d heard rumours not everything was on the up and up with your recruitment.”

  “Oh great. More people to avoid. But I suppose I don’t have to worry about that now. I mean, since I won’t be going back.” He said it without any nastiness in his tone, just the resignation of someone used to hearing bad news.

  “Doesn’t mean we have to lose touch,” Spen said.

  “Oh sure. We can get together and reminisce about how Tony hired me to be his boyfriend, and how you thwarted his evil rape plans. Yeah, a barrel of laughs for young and old.”

  Kani meeped at Spen, and batted at his hand. When Spen lifted it away, thinking it was annoying the little guy, Kani stamped his foot—and so did Myko. What the hell? He put his hand gingerly on Daniel’s shoulder, and Kani trilled, stroking his fingers with his tail. Ah, that’s what he wanted. Not subtle at all, kems.

  “That’s not all we can talk about.”

  “Maybe,” Daniel said, leaning ever so slightly into his touch. “I can’t think, Spen. Look, I’m just going to try and sleep down here. You should go home.”

  “I can stay. Mum doesn’t need the car in the morning, and I wasn’t planning to go into work.”

  “You shouldn’t....”

  “What?”

  “Rearrange your life for me.”

  Spen squeezed Daniel’s shoulder. “I’m not. I’m helping a friend out. You shouldn’t be on your own, Danny.”

  Daniel’s eyes closed. Spen thought it was in pleasure, but it might have been pure exhaustion. “Why do you call me that?”

  “Dunno. You just look more like a Danny than a Daniel. Not a Dan, though.”

  “Never. Dad called me Danny.”

  “You want me to stop?”

  “No. Unless you’re being sarcastic, I don’t mind.” He unfolded his legs and leaned back against the sofa cushions. “I don’t mind if you stay, but where will you sleep?”

  “Here? On the armchair? Or next to you? What would you like?”

  “Here,” Daniel murmured. “S’nice. Really, really tired....”

  “Get comfortable then. I’ll fetch a blanket.”

  “On the chair,” Daniel said, a massive yawn half-swallowing his words.

  Spen looked around and noticed two neatly folded blankets and a pillow on the armchair near the window. He rose to fetch them. Myko stayed where he was, lying against Daniel’s thigh, Kani cuddled in his arms. So sweet. And too tempting an idea.

  He draped a blanket over Daniel, and shoved the pillow under his unresisting head. He curled up at the other end of the sofa, but his long legs weren’t made for that kind of position. Try as he might to discreetly arrange himself, he couldn’t get comfortable. “Maybe we should move up to your bed,” he grumbled.

  Daniel’s head snapped up, and Spen realised what it had sounded like as those green eyes bored into him. “Shit, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

  Daniel continued to stare. He was starting to freak Spen out a little. “Daniel? I said forget it.”

  “What if I don’t want to?”

  “Look, don’t you think I’ve apologised enough—”

  “I think it’s a great idea. If you don’t mind.”

  “I wasn’t really thinking.”

  Daniel sagged back. “Oh. Okay. I guess you think it’s a bit skeevy, with me being the poor rape victim and everything.”

  Spen spat out a curse which made Kani squeak and Myko bat at Spen’s leg with a clawed paw in reproach. “Will you lay off with that shit? I was trying to be considerate!”

  “So was I. You’re never going to sleep down here like that, Beanpole.”

  The use of Julian’s nickname forced a laugh out of him. “Watch it, squirt.” Daniel smiled a little. “All right. If you’re okay with us sleeping upstairs and you think it’ll help, then sure. But if you don’t want me to be here....”

  Daniel reached out from under the blanket and clutched at Spen’s arm. “Stay? Please?”

  The raw need in Daniel’s voice plucked at heartstrings Spen didn’t even know he owned. “Okay,” he said, his voice gone a little gravelly with emotion. “Why don’t you...um...go brush your teeth and stuff? I’ll clear up here. Is there a spare toothbrush anywhere?”

  “Yeah, Mum keeps them...I mean, kept them in the bathroom. I’ll leave one out for you.”

  “Thanks.” He ruffled Daniel’s hair, aiming for casual, but he couldn’t miss the way Daniel pushed against his fingers, as if looking for more contact. When had anyone last held the guy?

  “See you upstairs. Come on, Kani.” He disentangled himself from the blanket and stood.

  “You go with him, Myko. Be a chaperone.”

  Daniel turned around and stuck his tongue out at him, while Kani crossly stamped his foot. Myko made the most peculiar noise, almost like a real growl. It sounded disapproving, for sure. “That’s me told then,” Spen said, amused as hell at the display of childishness.

  “Yes, it is. Come on, you guys.”

  ~~~~~~~~

  Spen took his time wiping down the kitchen counter, putting away dishes, waiting until he could hear nothing from the upper floor before climbing the stairs. He used the toothbrush left there for him, and washed his face. Shit, he looked nearly as wrecked as Daniel, but then he hadn’t been sleeping too well either. Keeping secrets from his friends and worrying about whether the police would really nail Noble as they hoped, hadn’t been good for him, or fun of any kind at all. Even if Daniel hadn’t forgiven him—he had forgiven him, hadn’t he?—Spen would feel better just because he no longer had the burden of those secrets. Of course it wasn’t over, and he wasn’t naïve enough to believe the next few weeks and months would be a ball of laughs for Daniel as he waited for Noble’s prosecution. But now, they could talk about it.

  That was if he didn’t screw up tonight. God, did Danny boy have any idea what he was asking? But Spen had suggested it and he only had his own big mouth to blame. They’d shared a room, even shared a bed watching movies. He could do this, play the good buddy, keep the scary emptiness from descending for one night at least. Daniel didn’t want more, and even if he did, now was so not the time to give it.

  Okay, he admitted it. He was out of his depth. Completely. He was running on instinct, but his instincts had never had to deal with this situation. What if he did screw it up? He’
d already hurt Daniel, risked losing his trust forever, even if there hadn’t been any alternative. This could be much, much worse.

  He sighed. Nothing for it now, he supposed.

  He left the bathroom and entered Daniel’s bedroom, which was opposite. Daniel was curled up under the covers, facing away from him on the far side of the wide single bed. Spen couldn’t see the kems which probably meant they were cuddling against Daniel’s chest.

  Oh, hell. What should he wear? Jeans were buggers of things to sleep in.

  “I’ve already seen you in your underwear,” Daniel muttered, reading his mind.

  “Okay. This is a little weird for me, just so you know,” Spen said, shucking his jeans and folding them over a chair. He kept his T-shirt on, not having a vest on underneath.

  “If you think I’m going to jump you, you’re so far off track you have no idea.”

  “Of course not. You’re being a bit of a prick.”

  He heard a tiny chuckle. “Yeah. Get into bed, Spen. I just want to sleep.”

  “Me too.” He switched off the bedside lamp, then climbed into the bed and under the covers, trying very hard not to touch Daniel. An effort wasted by the fact that Daniel immediately rolled over and snuggled up to him.

  “Whoa. You little shit, you’re testing me.”

  Another laugh. “Not really.” He looked up at Spen. “I need to feel you’re here. I don’t want to be alone.”

  Spen stroked the hair back off Daniel’s face, and maybe fell in love just a little harder than he had before. “You’re not,” he whispered. He put his arm over Daniel, and Daniel sighed. “Go to sleep, Danny. We’ve got you.”

  Daniel nodded, moving in a little closer. The kems decided now was a good time to emerge and crawl up onto the pillows, sitting on their humans’ heads—only Myko sat on Daniel’s, Kani on Spen’s. I know what you little brats are up to. Myko opened one eye to look at him, then pretended to go back to sleep. Not fooling me, squirt. A tiny pink tongue emerged from Myko’s mouth to give his opinion of Spen’s thoughts.

  Daniel was already asleep—really asleep, not faking. Poor sod must really have been sleep-deprived. Spen relaxed. This was what he was here for, to help the kid get some rest. Even the kems had settled down and if they were too tired to play, then sleep was a damn good idea. He closed his eyes, and dropped off before he had time to wonder if he would.

  He woke with a heart-stopping jerk, instinctively reaching out to protect his companion. He met Daniel’s arm, and feeling down, realised Daniel had his T-shirt fisted in a death grip. He wrapped his arms around Daniel and hugged him tight. “It’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here, Danny.” He spoke quietly, his thumbs stroking Daniel’s back to soothe him. In the dark he couldn’t see the kems, but one of them brushed against his hand so he knew they were doing their bit.

  “I’m okay now,” Daniel mumbled after a minute or so, letting go of Spen’s shirt. “Sorry.”

  “No problem. Nightmare?”

  “No. Panic, like I said. Fear of falling. I don’t have nightmares. I have dreams of...nice things that I can’t have any more.”

  Spen kept up his soothing thumb massage. “Sucks.”

  “Really. I’m okay, honest. You don’t have to....”

  “Want me to stop?”

  “No. Yes. I mean....”

  “I like doing it. Does that bother you? I’ll stop if it does.”

  “No. I like it.”

  Daniel went still. Spen kept on, but he sensed something had shifted. With anyone else, in any other place, he would know where this could go. But with Daniel....

  “Danny?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Danny...uh...look....”

  “Spen, if I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan rape victim...would you be here now?”

  “No. But only because...well, we work together. We wouldn’t even do that if...uh....”

  “I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan?”

  “Come on, kid, knock that off. I just meant we wouldn’t have met. It’s not a fair question.”

  “No.” Daniel moved closer, his face against Spen’s chest, his breath warming his skin. Spen tried to think of designing security routines, data capture screens for teachers, anything boring and annoying enough to stop his body reacting to the gentle, tormenting sensation. “Spen, if I tell you something now, here...would you be prepared to forget it in the morning and never mention it again?”

  “I can’t promise to forget, but I won’t ever mention it unless you do. Uh...it’s not about him, is it? I mean, it’s nothing to do with the police—”

  “No, no. I don’t think so.”

  “Because I can’t hide stuff from them. Not if it affects that.”

  “I have a crush on you. Like, the world’s biggest. Supernova-sized.”

  Spen’s laugh of pure relief escaped before he could choke it off. Daniel tried to pull away, obviously hurt, but Spen held him tight. “No, Danny, don’t. I’m not laughing at you. I thought you might tell me you had a crush on...well, you know.”

  Daniel shivered. “I couldn’t. He gives me the creeps.”

  “I bet.” Spen reached up to find Daniel’s hair, and tangled his fingers in it. “You don’t want me to mention it?”

  “No. Because...you’ll treat me differently. You’ll think I wanted you to stay because of that and I didn’t. I just...I needed someone to be with me so much. I feel like I’m losing control.”

  Despite himself, and knowing he was letting more of his real feelings show than he really ought to, Spen kissed Daniel’s head. “I know why you wanted me to stay, Danny boy. I offered first, remember?”

  Daniel relaxed a little. “Yeah. But I want us to be friends, so I never said anything. I never would have said anything, because we worked together, and because I need you to be my friend. I don’t need more.”

  Spen hugged him harder. “What if I wanted to offer you more?”

  “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

  “I’m really not. You’re always telling me how I feel. This is how I really feel.” He kissed Daniel’s hair again, then bent lower and found his mouth, so he could kiss him on the lips. Daniel sighed against his cheek. “Totally lousy timing though.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Not you, kiddo. Me. Last thing you need is someone else you looked to for help, taking advantage.”

  “Are you?”

  “Trying hard not to.” He stroked Daniel’s hair. “This is such a bad time to be talking about this. We’re tired and the situation is....”

  “Horrible.”

  “Yeah, it is. So let’s sleep on it. In the morning, if you don’t mention, I won’t. I never will unless you do. I’ll be your friend, and helping through all this, whatever you say. You’re in control.”

  “I’m a mess.”

  “Now you admit it. You’re doing pretty well, Daniel.”

  “Now you admit it.”

  Spen chuckled and kissed Daniel’s hair again. “Yeah, I do. Go to sleep, kiddo.”

  “Don’t call me that, Beanie.”

  “Okay. Think you can sleep now?”

  “Maybe. I did better this time. I actually fell asleep for a while before it hit. I think having Myko here helped.”

  Spen’s kem chirped cheerfully at his name. Spen growled. “Oh, well, if it’s only Myko you need....” He pretended to get off the bed, but relented at Daniel’s desperate grasp. “Hey, only joking.” He wrapped his arms around Daniel again. “Not going anywhere, squirt. Now sleep.”

  “Thank you.” Daniel buried himself against Spen’s chest. A few quiet squeaks later and their kems had squeezed themselves into the small remaining space between Spen and Daniel’s bodies. Then all was silent and peaceful once more.

  Spen rested his cheek against Daniel’s head. In the morning, Daniel would probably die of embarrassment thinking about this conversation. That was okay. Mutual attraction wasn’t life and death stuff. What Daniel was coping with every day, a
nd this shit with Noble—now, that was important.

  Still, nice to know Daniel could still feel something for anyone after what Noble and life had done to him. And it was nice to be one he had feelings for. Spen wouldn’t get his hopes up. He’d enjoy a little cuddle, a little company, not think too much about Rob and missing being with a guy he’d cared for. Not thinking, that would be good for a while too.

  Chapter 13

  Daniel woke when a bored Kani decided he had slept long enough, and began nibbling his chin. He swatted his annoyed kem away, and his hand brushed someone’s shoulder.

  That woke him up properly. Then he remembered. Spen. Just to confirm it, Myko peeked over Spen’s shoulder and gave a tiny chirp, answered just as discreetly by Kani. The kems obviously thought Spen needed more rest than Daniel did. Or maybe they wanted to punish him for being such an utter prat.

  He slid carefully out from under the blankets and bolted for the bathroom to pee and berate himself for stupidity. Spen would hate him for being such a needy little bastard. So much for trying not to be pathetic, and look like a competent adult.

  A knock on the bathroom door made him jump. “If you’re in there freaking out, Danny boy, wait until you have a cup of tea before you make any big decisions. I’ll go put the kettle on.”

  “I’m fine!”

  “Great. I’m still putting the kettle on.”

  Daniel’s face flushed hot as much from amusement as embarrassment. Spen’s dry sense of humour had been all that had kept him sane at times over the last few months, and it had saved them from undying enmity over Daniel’s horrible behaviour last night. He wouldn’t have blamed Spen if he’d never spoken to him again. But he hadn’t just spoken to him, but had held him. And more.

  He washed his face again, and when he ducked out, found the bedroom empty, so he could pull on his jeans. Downstairs, Spen stood watching the kettle, still not at boiling point. He was fully dressed, and wearing an apron. It barely cleared his hips, which was both ridiculous and endearing. Kani and Myko chased each other around the living room, clearly bored with human company for the moment.

  “Hi,” Daniel ventured.

  Spen turned and gave him a wide smile. “Hey, kid. How did you sleep?”