“Better. Um.” He came closer, and on impulse wrapped his arms around Spen. “Don’t hate me?”
He felt Spen chuckle, then he put a hand under Daniel’s chin and made him look up. He bent and kissed him on the lips. “Easiest thing anyone ever asked me to do,” he murmured, stroking his hand down Daniel’s hair. Daniel wished he could do the same back. He wanted to know what the short crinkly curls would feel like under his fingers. He wanted to touch Spen’s dark, warm skin, stroke him from top to toe.
But then Spen pushed him back carefully. Daniel’s heart sank. “Now, Danny, don’t get worked up.” Spen leaned over and kissed him again. “Tea?”
“Please. I think there’s bread for toast, and Alex likes cereal.”
“Tea for now. Sit and I’ll pour.” Another caress to Daniel’s hair eased his anxiety. He sat and enjoyed the simple pleasure of having Spen all to himself, with nothing more pressing than what to eat for breakfast.
Spen knew how much milk to add to Daniel’s mug, and did it without checking before putting the tea before him. That sort of cosy, domestic touch could be dangerously easy to grow used to. Spen took a seat and a long slurp of tea, before regarding Daniel with a serious expression. “I had a thought, just before.”
“About us?”
“Yeah. I told you, don’t get worked up, kiddo.”
“How many of your fingers do I have to break to stop you calling me that?”
“Three?” Daniel made a face at him. “Look, just drink your tea and listen, okay? I know how I said you were in control here...and you totally are....”
“But you don’t really like me that way, right?”
Spen set his mug down with a heavy sigh. “Apply that scientific mind of yours to the available evidence, Danny boy. Do I look like someone who’s gone off you?” He reached over to stroke Daniel’s wrist, smiling kindly. Daniel’s heart fluttered a little. He’d always thought that was just a saying, but no, he felt it in his chest.
“No,” Daniel managed to get out. “But...?”
“But, you suspicious sod, I was thinking about the court case.”
Daniel made a face and pushed his mug of tea away. “Oh thanks. I was almost feeling okay.”
Spen increased the pressure on Daniel’s wrist, using his thumb to massage the back of his hand. “Hang on a little longer, kid. All I was thinking is that I’ll have to give evidence against Noball, and they might ask me why I got involved. About what my relationship is with you.”
“And...you want....”
“To be able to answer truthfully that we’re just friends.”
Daniel sagged. “Oh.”
“Friends who hug a lot.”
Daniel grinned. “Kissing too?”
Spen’s smile spread like a sunrise. “Maybe now and then.”
“Well, if it’ll help put the bastard away....”
“I think it might. I don’t want to give them any wriggle room.”
“I understand. Um....”
Spen held his hand up. “How about more tea and maybe toast before any more big stuff, okay?”
“I’m not five, Spen.”
“Wasn’t talking about you, Danny boy. I’m a growing lad.”
~~~~~~~~
Good intentions and sensible reasons couldn’t stop Spen patting Daniel’s shoulder when the kid bumped hips with him, or letting their hands stay in contact a little longer than they needed to when they reached for the honey at the same time. “Just friends?” Daniel said, a ginger eyebrow cocked cheekily.
“Yes, you brat. Knock it off.”
Daniel’s good mood lasted until they cleared up the breakfast things, and while they sat on the sofa, watching the kems and enjoying being together with no demands on them. But just as Spen wondered if he should make another pot of tea, Myko, who’d been chasing Kani across the room and around the bookshelves, knocked a piece of paper off the coffee table. When Spen bent to pick it up, he realised it was the pamphlet about counselling. It couldn’t be the one he had from the hospital, because that was sitting on his bedside table, back at his parents’ house.
He went to put it back on the table, but Daniel stopped him, taking it from his hand. “No, let me have it. This is what I wanted to talk about before.”
“Danny?”
Daniel smoothed out the pamphlet. “I’ve been thinking...maybe you were right. Wouldn’t hurt to talk to these people. I mean, rather than put it all on you. It’s not fair.”
“It’s not that it’s not fair, kiddo—”
“Grrrr.”
“Sorry.” He kissed Daniel’s cheek. “Don’t worry about ‘fair’. The point is, they’ve got more experience than I do. I’m dead scared I’ll hurt you out of ignorance. I don’t know what to expect. Neither do you. You’re strong, Danny. But knowledge is power.” He touched the pamphlet. “I could go with you. I mean, I’ve got questions and I don’t know who to ask. This prosecution could take months, Shah said. It’s just how the courts work.”
“Yeah, I know. I watch television too.”
“Oh well, then. No surprises for you.” Daniel punched him lightly on the arm. Spen pretended to be mortally wounded, but Myko spoiled the effect by jumping into Spen’s lap and whacking him in the face with his tail. Spen picked his kem up and brought him nose to nose. “Watch it, fuzzball.” He put the pest down on his lap again and wagged his finger at him. Myko batted it with a paw. It was simply impossible to reprimand a kem.
“Would you really come along with me?”
“Sure. When?”
“Today? This morning?”
“Why not? The kids get back this afternoon. What are you going to tell them about your job?”
Kani leapt up onto Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel pulled his kem down onto his chest so he could pet him properly. “I’ll have to lie. Dee can’t afford distractions. But I’m rubbish at lying to them.”
“So tell them part of the truth. Tell them Fuckface is suspended because he’s been buying illegal drugs, that they’re investigating him further, and you’re on leave so the police can strip the office. No need to say more. After all, the police haven’t charged him with more than that at the moment, so it’s not a lie.”
“No. I’ll have to try and be convincing. I should get changed, I suppose.”
“How about I call them while you dress, see if we need an appointment or anything?”
Daniel thanked him. Spen couldn’t help but notice the burst of energy which had propelled him to make the decision about the rape centre, had disappeared. Still, he hadn’t changed his mind yet, so Spen would encourage him as long as Daniel didn’t actively resist the idea.
The centre did require appointments for counselling, but strongly advised Daniel to come in and talk, get information, and arrange to meet someone later. “Has he been tested? For STDs?”
“Not yet,” Spen said.
“We can help there too. Please, do bring him down.”
Daniel came in five minutes later, neatly dressed in an ironed linen shirt and sharp trousers. Spen felt distinctly grubby next to him, but Daniel didn’t seem to care. He came over, his stance inviting a hug, so he got one.
Spen told him what the centre said. “I’m not doing anything about tests until next week.”
“I’m sure that’s okay. Are you? Okay, I mean?” Spen tilted Daniel’s head up and searched his face for any sign that he was freaking out.
“Mostly. It’s going to suck but I need to do it.”
Spen bent and kissed him. “Good for you. Come on.”
~~~~~~~~
Without Spen beside him, Daniel would probably have never made it inside the rape crisis centre, let alone allow a strange woman talk to him about intimate matters. It felt like he was making something he hardly believed had happened, into reality. Spen held his hand, and asked questions when it became too much for him. Even with that, Daniel felt like a used dishrag by the time they stepped out into the sunshine.
“A pint?” Spen suggested.
“You’re driving. Coffee and early lunch? On me, no arguments.”
“None from me, Danny.”
Daniel wished he could show Spen how much he loved being called by that name. Loved it even though it made him sad too. A good sad though.
Spen knew a coffee shop not too far away that served reasonable food, so they left the car in the carpark and walked. It didn’t feel right to be here on a working day, men of leisure only because someone had tried to carry out an attack on him. The sunshine felt good on his face, though. “Is it wrong to feel good that I might never have to go back to that office?”
“No,” Spen said. “You were mad enough about that last night though.”
“I really need a job. But I think I might die if I had to do that one again, even if it wasn’t working for him.”
“Danny, you’re a clever, wonderful person, but Myko would make a better PA than you.”
“Hey!” Daniel’s indignant protest matched Myko’s irritated squeak.
Spen grinned, and ushered him into the coffee shop. He managed to distract Daniel by asking him to order, but after they had ordered and paid, and found an outside table, Daniel pinned him with a glare. “What do you mean about me being a bad PA?”
“I never said that. But it’s like asking a dolphin to power a motorboat. It’s a pointless waste of your talent, and there are people who would do it just as well and enjoy it more.”
“I’ve explained this to you.”
“Yeah, yeah, the qualification thing. There has to be a way we can sort that out for you.”
“‘We’?”
“I’d like to help.”
“I don’t see how you can.” Daniel’s mobile rang. He didn’t recognise the number. “I better get this. Daniel here.”
“Daniel? It’s Inspector Shah. How are you doing?”
“Fine, thank you. Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all. I’m calling to say that we’ve charged Tony Noble with rape as well as the other charges we discussed.”
A prickle of adrenaline ran across Daniel’s scalp. Spen reached over and took his hand. Daniel was grateful for that. “Uh, okay.”
“He’s still in custody, but he’ll probably be bailed tomorrow.”
“But you can keep him away from me and my family, right?”
“Yes, you and any other witnesses. We’ll insist on that as a condition of bail, and the magistrate won’t have a problem with that. Then there’ll be a committal hearing in a couple of months.”
“What if he, uh...comes near me?”
“You call the police. He can be thrown back into custody if he tries that.”
“My brother and sister?”
“If he approaches them, we’ll see that as an approach to you. We can arrange for police patrols to swing past your house randomly and you should make sure your brother and sister know what to do if they’re the least bit worried. I can arrange for an officer to chat to them if you want. We also made it clear to Noble that the case doesn’t rest on your testimony, so that means attacking you would be pointless. I think it’s unlikely he’ll harass you. It would hardly help his case.”
“No. Uh...thanks for letting me know.”
“No problem. If you have any questions about the case, you can call me.”
“Thank you.”
Daniel hung up. “They’ve decided to go with the...you know...charge.”
Spen squeezed his hand. “That’s good.”
“He’s going to get bail.”
“Okay, well, that’s not too unexpected. He won’t come near you, Danny.”
“How do you know?
“Why would he? Your testimony isn’t the only evidence against him, and the police have enough to get him on some serious shit without it. If he tries to threaten you, then the police will haul him in.”
“He might not stop at threatening. I’m worried about Dee and Alex.” Daniel’s chest was tight with unwelcome familiar rising panic.
“Okay, I understand. Daniel, calm now.”
Daniel gulped. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting...they did mention bail, but it’s all sooner than I expected.”
“Yeah, same here.”
The waitress set their food and drinks down. Daniel thanked her, but his appetite had fled, though Kani as usual found the food fascinating. Spen was watching Daniel. Maybe waiting to see if he was going to melt down, Daniel thought sourly. “I’m okay,” he snapped.
“Oh...sorry, I was just thinking. When do Dee and Alex start the summer break?”
“Week after next. Why?”
“Well, if you’re not working, you can keep an eye on them, but didn’t you say something about your aunt offering to have them?”
“I am not sending my brother and sister away!”
“Shhhh. God, Daniel, calm down.”
Daniel looked at his plate, where Kani was nosing under a spinach leaf. “This isn’t up for debate, Spen.”
“I know. I wasn’t suggesting that. But maybe they could go stay with her over the holidays. By the time the break is over, the committal hearing might even be over.”
“I don’t know if Aunt Lisa would agree. But the trial will be months and months after that.”
“Yeah, but if he’s going to try anything, he’ll probably do it sooner rather than later. Worth thinking about, anyway.”
Daniel nodded. He’d grown so used to not considering his extended family in his plans, other than worrying about whether he should send the kids to their grandparents or not, that his overseas relatives hadn’t even entered his thoughts. “I guess it would let me look for a job without worrying about them worrying about me.”
“That too,” Spen said, a little distractedly.
“I do need another job.”
“Yes, I know. One step at a time, squirt.”
“Kani, bite him.”
Myko lifted his head from where he’d stuck it into Spen’s fruit juice and squeaked at Daniel, whether in encouragement or disapproval, Daniel didn’t know. Kani ignored them both. Spen just grinned. “No respect,” Daniel muttered.
Spen ruffled his hair. Daniel pulled away and frowned at him. “Not in public, you thug.”
“Oh sorry, your majesty. Eat your food before Kani distributes it to needy people.” Kani squeaked in annoyance.
Daniel poked at the salad. “Maybe I should hold off on the job hunting for a month or more. I don’t feel like I can sell myself right now.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“No, but I still feel like damaged goods. Guess I’ll end up with a generic reference after all.”
“Wait until you speak to Mr Stern, and don’t do anything until you clear it with Zachary. Julian says Zachary is a brilliant lawyer. If anyone can squeeze a good deal from those tightwads, he can.”
Daniel nodded again. His life was on hold. Waiting for Tony to be tried. Waiting for the company to fire him. Waiting for Spen....
Spen said Daniel was in control, but then he’d gone and decided that they would just be friends, without even asking. Okay, he had good reasons but...a trial could be a year or more away. Maybe he was using it as an excuse. Daniel hadn’t exactly given him a lot of room to manoeuvre.
“Danny? You okay?”
“I’m fine.” He picked up a forkful of food and ate it. “So what will happen to Cross-Channel now?”
“I’m sure I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m more worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be. Things are under control. I’ll email my aunt tonight and see what she says. I’ll call Zachary, tell him about the new charges, and ask him about the bail thing. And next week, I’ll talk to Stern.”
“And get tested.”
Daniel shrugged. “Yeah. You don’t need to worry.”
Spen cocked his head like Daniel had said something he didn’t understand, then shrugged. “Okay.”
They ate the rest of the meal in silence, to the obvious confusion of the kems who kept giving them worried litt
le chirps and squeaks as they nosed around the table. They wanted to play, that much was clear, but they wanted to stick close to their humans too. Finally, Kani and Myko both climbed into Daniel’s lap, forcing themselves up under his arms so they could peer into his face with identical expressions of concern. Spen laughed, and Daniel couldn’t help smiling.
“What do you mischiefs want, hmmm?” He petted them both, and Myko snuggled into his hand. Kani snuggled into Myko instead.
“They don’t want you to be sad,” Spen murmured.
“Neither do I, but I can’t just click my fingers and make it all go away. I wish I could.”
“No, you can’t, but you don’t have to do it on your own, either.”
“I do at least until the trial is over.” Spen frowned and looked about to say something, but Daniel cut him off. “Look, I really should get moving. You need to pick up your mum, I need to do some shopping and cooking. And cleaning, because I don’t want Dee to think she has to lift a finger before Monday or the whole of next week. I should call my grandmother, email my aunt—”
“I understand. You’re busy. So let’s go.”
Perversely, Spen’s brusque efficiency, walking out of the café ahead of Daniel, taking the lead on the walk back to the car, hurt. Daniel was only trying to prove that he didn’t need a nanny, and that he wasn’t expecting Spen to solve all his problems.
They were back at Daniel’s house in twenty minutes. “Uh, do you want to come in?” Daniel asked.
“Not if you’re busy. There’s a few things I could do for Mum and Dad since I’m around.”
“Oh.”
Spen turned to look at him. “Danny....”
“Yeah?”
“I, uh...um...let me know if you hear from Shah again, okay?”
“Sure. Guess I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah.” Spen reached over. Daniel thought he was after something in the glovebox and by the time he realised it was his hand Spen was after, the moment had passed. “You look after yourself, kiddo.”
“Bye.” Daniel got out of the car before the conversation got tangled up again. He waved cheerfully as Spen drove off, and wondered why, if he was supposed to be in control of this situation, he felt so lost.
~~~~~~~~
“Shit,” Spen cursed softly as he drove up to the intersection. What had gone wrong? One minute all was fine and cheerful and friendly with Daniel, next minute the kid closed up tight. What had he done, or not done? Or was it nothing to do with him at all?
A Fluffy Tale 2: Warm & Fuzzy Page 14
