This was what he’d tried to tell Daniel before—about not knowing what he was doing. But he thought it had been going pretty well up to...well, up to when it stopped going well.
He needed advice, so when he arrived home and parked the car, he called the only person he could talk freely with about Daniel and his situation. “Beanie! How did you get on last night?”
“Uh, that’s kind of why I called, Julian. Are you free this afternoon?”
“No, sorry. Leo’s got appointments. Why don’t you come over for supper?”
“Will Zachary be okay with that? I don’t want to intrude.”
“I’ve got him trained. He hardly ever kills and eats visitors now.”
Spen grinned. “That’s reassuring. Six?”
“Yeah. Zachary won’t be home but we can talk while I cook.”
“You’re cooking? Wow.”
“Remind me why I like you?”
“My charm and extreme height?”
“Must be. See you at six, Beanpole.”
The prospect of talking to Julian, and maybe even Julian’s canny boss and his scarily smart husband, helped ease Spen’s anxiety slightly. So did throwing himself into cleaning the bathroom, mopping all the linoleum floors, and doing a thorough vacuum on the carpeted surfaces. When he finished, it was time to pick up his mother. She knew as soon as she saw him something was wrong.
“Oh, love, what happened?” she said as he set off.
“I really don’t know, Mum. He’s up and down. Maybe that’s normal.”
“I think so, Spencer. He’s not had very long to adjust.”
“No.” Spen thought about telling his mother about the added emotional component, but he didn’t know he wanted to violate Daniel’s privacy to that extent, when his mother was still involved in caring for Daniel’s siblings. Since he wasn’t sure exactly how Daniel felt about him now, and how to describe his feelings, there was a certain amount of cowardice in that discretion.
He did tell his mother that Noble was to be charged with rape. “And how does Daniel feel about that?”
“He’s worried about Noble coming after the kids. I can’t say it’s totally not going to happen.”
“You hear some terrible stories. Can we help? I’d hate anything to happen to those children.”
“He’s looking into some ideas, but if you can offer to keep an eye on them, I think he’d be grateful. The risk is probably small, but Noble is a real creep. A really dangerous creep.”
His mother shuddered. “And a man with a wife and children. Do they know, do you suppose?”
“They do now. Frankly, I think she should pack the kids up and run like hell, but who knows what she’ll do. I’ve got more than enough to do worrying about the people I know and care about.”
His mother didn’t say anything, but she patted his knee sympathetically. He didn’t want to burden her too much with the ugliness of this business. For two weeks, he’d been struggling to cope in secret with what he’d learned about Noble and his predatory crimes. What he’d learned had been done to Daniel, and to two other young men he’d worked with, had given him nightmares. He didn’t want to inflict that knowledge on his mother more than was absolutely necessary.
She was delighted at the clean floors, protesting he shouldn’t spend his day off doing housework. He didn’t tell her that it was either that or go nuts worrying about Daniel and the whole clusterfuck. Instead he just kissed her cheek. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it. Anyway, it’s not a favour, because I live here too.”
“Glad to have you, love. Are you here for supper, or are you going back over to Daniel’s?”
Spen hid a wince. “Actually, Julian invited me over, so I thought I would go. I’ll take a taxi though.”
“That’s nice of him. Daniel’s with the children, I suppose. I wonder what he’ll tell them.”
“No idea. We talked about it, but I don’t know what he finally decided. So I’ll, uh, go shower and change, and see you in the morning.”
Spen hadn’t been over to Julian’s new digs, though he’d heard about them. He appreciated the swish neighbourhood and architectural beauty of the building where Julian and Zachary lived, but on the whole, he wouldn’t want to live there. His parents’ place was a nice, comfortable, middle-class home, and he’d never wanted more. Still, he was happy for his friend, moving up from a fairly grotty flat to a lovely apartment with a great friend and boss, not to mention the stunningly handsome, if somewhat reserved spouse.
Myko and Pyon immediately ran off to make mischief elsewhere in the apartment. Julian handed him a glass of chilled white wine, and told him to sit on the other side of the counter while he did things to vegetables. “Okay, what’s made those brown eyes blue, Spen?”
Spen ended up spilling everything—what had happened the night before, the revelations about their mutual feelings, the visit to the rape crisis centre, lunch, the call, everything. Not long after he started, Leo wandered in, accepted a somewhat smaller glass of wine from Julian, and made himself comfortable in an armchair near the kitchen, petting his little white kem while listening without comment to what Spen was saying. Neither he nor Julian looked all that surprised when Spen admitted that he and Daniel had been nursing mutual crushes, and when Spen said that he didn’t know why Daniel had turned all stiff and unfriendly over lunch, Julian just shook his head and grinned.
“What’s so funny?”
“You were with Rob too long, I think. This is how it goes when you’re still feeling each other out. You’ve just forgotten. Right, Leo?”
Leo smiled. “Well, dear boy, it’s a while since I’ve had to deal with this kind of thing too, you know. But Spencer, Julian’s right. Even without the complication of this terrible affair with his employer, love is surely a terribly confusing business for a young man like Daniel, especially one who seems to have been rather sheltered and devoted to study. I’d be surprised if he’s experienced in such matters at all.”
“Love? We’re not talking about that,” Spen said.
“Not yet,” Julian said, still grinning. “Relax, Beanpole. Sounds to me like he has way too many things going on in his head. He really likes you—blind Freddy could tell that—and you really like him. Give him more than twenty-four hours to adjust.”
“Oh.” It hadn’t even been that long, actually. It had just felt like longer.
“Not to mention,” Leo said, “if he has been nurturing these feelings for some time, especially over what has to have been a most trying period, he’s probably terrified of making a mistake with you. Just as you are, for different reasons. As the more experienced partner in this relationship, you may have to make allowances and take control of things for him.”
“I said he was in control. I don’t want him to feel like I’m pressuring him, like Noble was.”
“But, my dear fellow, if you back off now, having declared your affections, he might see that as a lack of enthusiasm. His self-confidence is rather low, I noticed. Not surprising, when he was doing a job for which he was ill-suited, which ended so disastrously, and now he’s being forced by the judicial process to see himself in the role of victim—for the second time, since he’s involved in this tedious suit against the crane company. You and I may know that he has a multitude of fine talents and has done rather well at keeping his family together despite the tragedy of his parents’ death, but he needs time to recover and see himself more positively.”
“See, I’d like to help there too, but I don’t know what to do. He’s ruled out going back to finish his degree and without that, he can’t work as an engineer.”
“Ah,” Leo said. “Actually, this is something Julian and I have discussed today, but we need Zachary to give us the benefit of his legal experience before we can come up with a proper plan.”
“Zachary?”
“Don’t worry, Spen,” Julian said, drying his hands on a towel. “Leo’s on the case. You don’t need to worry about a thing.”
~~~~~~~~
The kids had gone to bed an hour ago. They’d taken the news about Tony and the job more calmly than Daniel had feared, swallowing the half-truth as complete truth because it was so awful, they didn’t need to imagine anything worse. Dee was still worried about the finances, of course, but Daniel was able to wave that away by saying things weren’t settled with the company yet, and he thought they would have another position there he could fill, at least temporarily. Not a lie, exactly—it was always possible they did, even if Daniel would rather chew off a foot than work there any more. The most important thing was not distracting Dee from these crucial exams. He thought he’d managed to avoid that pretty well.
Suggesting a trip to Aunt Lisa’s rather than a summer visit to their grandparents—which, from the conversation Daniel had had with his grandmother earlier, looked unlikely anyway on account of his grandfather’s condition—had thrilled Alex, while Dee was torn between worrying about the cost, and growing excited about a possible overseas trip. Daniel had emailed their aunt hours ago, and now sat in front of his computer half waiting for an answer, while doing everything he could to avoid going to bed.
He’d mucked things up again, hadn’t he? Spen was trying to give him space and not mess up the court case because he knew how much it mattered to Daniel, but Daniel had reacted like a brat, hurt his feelings, and made him feel unwelcome just when Daniel needed him most. If Spen never came over again, it would only be fair punishment.
Kani meeped at him from his lap. Daniel stroked him. “You guys are so much smarter than me. Kems always know what we’re thinking.”
Kani squirmed out of his light grip and jumped onto the desk. “Careful. Some of that’s fragile.” Kani turned and gave him an old-fashioned look, as if to say that Daniel didn’t need to remind him about something so obvious. Thinking back, Daniel wondered if the spilt tea in Tony’s office had been as accidental as it looked. Kems were, apart from all their other many talents, excellent judges of character. Kani and Myko hated Tony from the start. Daniel should really have paid attention to that.
“What are you up to now?” Kani was nosing around with a little more intent than usual among the models and notepads. “No food in the bedroom, squirt. You know that.”
Kani ignored him. Daniel shook his head and went back to surfing the net, looking for statistics on rape cases and the effects of GHB. Not the happiest topics, but he found it hard to think about anything else.
The incoming email chime made him jump, but when he saw it was a reply from Aunt Lisa, a little bit of tension eased. She was enthusiastic, as he hoped she would be given her grand but unrealistic offers after the accident, and was offering to pay all the costs of the flights and expenses while the kids were there. She had even offered to buy whatever clothes the kids needed for the different season, which was probably unnecessary, but it meant packing didn’t have to be too stressful. He didn’t care if such generosity resulted from a guilty conscience or not—all that mattered was that Dee and Alex would be safely out of harm’s way for nearly two months. He emailed back to say he was delighted at her offer, and asking how she wanted them to arrange flight bookings and so on.
Two months in the house alone. It would be hard, but since he could hardly tell Dee or Alex what was really behind his insomnia lately, losing their company was less important than ensuring their safety. He’d just have to cope. There was always....
Except maybe there wouldn’t be Spen. Daniel hadn’t given him much incentive to put up with his nonsense, and whatever mild affection Spen felt for him, might already have evaporated now he’d had to deal with the reality of Daniel’s crazy life.
Kani squeaked. “What’s up, squirt?” Daniel went to pick him up, but his kem fought furiously to be left alone. “Okay, okay, calm down. What’s wrong?” Kani squeaked again and pushed something out from under the notes Daniel had been making. His phone. “It wasn’t lost, Kani. Thanks for finding it though.”
Kani squeaked again, and stamped on the phone, actually pushing one of the keys. Fortunately the keypad was locked. “Stop that,” Daniel said, picking the phone up and putting it on the other side of the computer. “What’s up with you, hmmm?”
Kani jumped across the keyboard and started stamping on the phone again, squeaking like a crazy thing. “Bloody hell, what’s got into you?”
Another stamp. “Is the phone annoying you? I’ll turn it off.” He went to pick it up but Kani nipped his hand. “Now that’s really not on, squirt. What?”
Kani walked over to the keyboard and began banging on it. Daniel was about to lift him off and scold him properly when he realised what key Kani was hitting. ‘S’.
Daniel stared at his kem in astonishment. “You’re trying to tell me something?” Kani squeaked, his tail lashing. “‘S’ for...Spen?”
Kani meeped and did a somersault. Daniel had never seen his kem do anything like it before. “What about Spen?”
Kani jumped back over to the phone and nudged it towards him. “I can’t, squirt. It’s late.”
Kani put a foot on the phone and squeaked angrily, his tail erect and stiff with annoyance. “God, you’re persistent. He doesn’t want to hear from me, and not at this time of night.”
Kani pushed the phone over to Daniel at such speed he had to catch it before it fell off the edge. “Look, I’ll text him, okay? Will that suit your highness?” Kani meeped and nodded. Not for the first time in his life, Daniel wondered just how damn smart kems really were. Probably a lot more than anyone gave them credit for.
It was after eleven, and even though it was a Friday night, calling someone whose routine he barely knew at this time was not acceptable, whatever tantrum Kani threw. But Spen’s text message tone was pretty discreet, Daniel recalled. It was unlikely to wake him up, so he could risk that, he supposed.
But what to say? “Sorry for being a dickhead?” Or maybe, “Thanks for suggesting the thing about my aunt?”
Neither was the kind of thing which justified a late night text. Or, for that matter, Kani’s weird behaviour.
His kem watched him intently with bright, mischievous eyes. He stamped his foot again as if to say, “Get on with it.”
“You’re a pain, you know that?”
Kani lay down, head resting on his paws, like butter wouldn’t melt in his terribly maligned mouth. “You’re not fooling anyone.” Kani’s tail flicked disdainfully.
Daniel stared at his phone. The only thing he really wanted to say to Spen was the one thing that would probably drive him away. Maybe he should say it anyway, get it over with. Better now than when he had come to rely even more on Spen. When losing Spen’s friendship would become a wound too great to bear.
~~~~~~~~
Spen was staring at the ceiling, trying to stop his busy brain from cycling over the events of the day and the last week, when his phone gave a quiet ‘tink’. He was tempted to ignore it, but Myko reached over from the pillow and batted the phone with his paw. Spen had to catch it to stop it falling on the ground, and the screen told him the incoming message was from “Danny”.
He opened it. All it said was, “I don’t want to wait.”
The kid had to be awake. Spen called his number.
“Hey. I thought you’d be asleep.” Daniel sounded completely alert.
“I’d like to be, but my brain has other ideas. Um...Danny, I don’t want to wait either.”
A pause, then Daniel said slowly. “So what about the trial?”
“I was over at Julian’s tonight, and I asked Zachary about what would happen if—in theory—our relationship changed before the trial started. He said so long as I was sure none of my actions were motivated by or appeared to be motivated by malice, and I told the exact truth in court, it should be okay. I should tell Inspector Shah too, in case he needs to know. He also said that so far as he could tell, my evidence was a very minor part of the case.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. So I don’t want to wait, and I don’t need to wait
. The only question left is...what do you want?”
“You,” Daniel breathed into the phone, and Spen smiled, his heart lighter than it had been all day. “Is that all right?”
“Better than, Danny boy. How are you doing? How did it go with Dee and Alex?”
“Okay. They accepted the story. Oh, and my aunt is happy to take them over the holidays. We just have some details to sort out and then they can fly out.”
“Oh that’s great. Uh...but that means you’ll be on your own.”
“Will I?”
“Only if you want to be.”
“I don’t want to be.”
“See, that was easy.” He heard Daniel laugh. “Want me to come over now?”
“Um, yeah, I do, but it’s not a good idea. Dee will wonder and I don’t want to distract her. But if you’re not busy tomorrow, I said I’d take Alex down to the skate park, and then out for lunch, so Dee can have peace and quiet.”
“I’d love to come. But will you sleep tonight?”
“Hang on.” He heard the phone being set down, and the distant sound of Kani chirping. A few more seconds, then Daniel was back on the line. “Okay, I’m in bed now. Can we talk until I’m sleepy?”
“Sure. Unless I fall asleep first.”
“Myko can turn the phone off.”
“Kems can’t use phones, Danny.”
“Don’t you be too sure about that....”
~~~~~~~~
The kids greeted the news that the trip was on with shouts and hugs, but almost immediately, Dee began to fret. “Visas—”
“Electronic and already applied for. Your passports are up to date, and you don’t need vaccinations or anything like that.”
“I won’t have time to pack!”
“Yes you will, I promise. You just take what clothes you have, your normal toiletries and stuff, and Aunt Lisa will buy anything else when you get there.”
“But—”
A Fluffy Tale 2: Warm & Fuzzy Page 15
