Love Is Patient

by Cathy Marie Hake

  “Da–ad. You’re not listening.”

  “What?” Nathan snapped out of his contemplation.

  “I asked you when you were going to tell Van about where we’re going.”

  “If Van is willing to watch you, I’m going to Mexico.”

  “What about the arcade, Dad? I wanna play games!”

  Nathan looked at Vanessa. “We’ll play at the arcade today, but if that hammer in Vanessa’s kitchen is anything like the ones going to Mexico, that team needs a lot of help to build that church.”

  “Why can’t I go with you?”

  “It’s a school week.” Nathan took a gulp of hot cocoa. He needed to get away to think. Vanessa needed time to be with Jeff to see if they could get along well for more than just a day at a time.

  A short while later, while Jeff smacked buttons on a blaring machine at the arcade and Amber sat patiently at Vanessa’s side, Nathan apologized. “I should have asked you privately about watching Jeff instead of blurting it out like that. If you’d rather not, I’ll understand.”

  She hitched a shoulder and laughed self-consciously. “Oh—I’m happy to watch him. He’s a lot of fun. I was trying to find a way of suggesting it might be easier if I stayed at your place with him than bringing Lick to mine.”

  “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Why should I?”

  “It’s closer to the school, but it’ll be farther for you to get to and from work.”

  She hitched the strap of her purse up onto her shoulder. “I’m glad you’re going to go. The team needs guys like you who know what you’re doing. You have a lot of talent. It’s generous of you to want to use it for G—” She caught herself. “For others.”

  Nathan slid his hand over hers and laced their fingers. Her eyes widened. “I need a chance to do some soul-searching and thinking.”

  “I got hundreds of points and this many tickets on that game!” Jeff half shouted the words and intruded on the moment. He stood before them and held up a long trail of pale blue rafflelike tickets the arcade machine spit out. “I wanna get so many, I can get something really cool.”

  “Oh, is that so?” Vanessa broke away and rose. “I’m lethal on Uranium Thief.”

  “Can I play you? Can I?”

  “You’d better. I’d be horribly disappointed to come all of the way here with you and not get a chance to razzle dazzle you with my ability.”

  “Oh, brother,” Nathan scoffed. “Jeff, can you believe her? She really thinks she knows what she’s doing, but she doesn’t know who she’s playing against.”

  Vanessa’s chin went up at a stubborn tilt. “I challenge you here and now—and if I get to the third level before you, you have to eat a fried pickle.”

  “A fried pickle?” Nathan and Jeff said together.

  Vanessa dusted her hands together. “A fried pickle. Now prepare for doom. You’re about to wish you’d never brought me along today.”

  “Even if I have to eat a fried pickle, I won’t feel doomed.” Nathan looked at her intently. “I’d never be glad that you hadn’t come along.”

  Eighteen

  “Twenty-eight dollars?” Vanessa twisted in the seat and gave Nathan an appalled look. “We wasted twenty-eight dollars at the arcade?”

  “It wasn’t a waste, Vanessa. We had a good time, didn’t we?”

  “And look at all of the good stuff I earned!” Jeff sat in the middle of the backseat like Midas in the center of his golden treasures. He’d spent half of forever choosing bouncy balls, slink chains, squirt guns, a magnifying glass, crazy sunglasses, candy, and half a dozen other assorted “prizes” with the tickets he’d earned from the arcade machines. Had they gone to a five-and-dime, he could have bought all of it for five bucks, max. Nevertheless, they’d had fun, and his pride made it all worthwhile.

  “Sport, here’s that big, big bridge.”

  “Are we going on it? Really?”

  “No kidding.”

  Jeff sat a little straighter and craned to look out over the very edge of the bridge.

  The railing came up so high that Vanessa could barely see over it part of the time. The Coronado Bridge in San Diego swept in a huge, graceful, sideways arc. It boasted such height, military vessels passed under it with ease. This kind of height gave her a sense of freedom. She tried to concentrate on looking as far out at whatever horizon she could spot through the drizzle. Due to the weather, there wasn’t the usual abundance of sailboats out.

  Charming, little old houses covered the island. Well-manicured lawns and nicely sculpted shrubs reflected the orderly community of military officers and understated wealthy citizens. Vanessa watched a cat streak across a lawn and shoot up a tree.

  “Oh! I was so busy gawking, I didn’t notice we passed the restaurant. I’m sorry, Nathan. It was on the left back there.”

  He gave her a startled look. “You’re serious.”

  “Of course I am. I blew it.”

  “No problem—that can happen to anyone. I meant, you’re serious about that restaurant—that it has fried pickles!”

  She bobbed her head. “And you two are going to eat them. I got to level three first.”

  Nathan pulled into a parking lot. Vanessa wrinkled her nose. “What are we doing here?”

  “Getting antacids. If I have to eat a fried pickle, I want something to rescue my stomach afterward.”

  “Hey! Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!”

  “Ever hear of ‘an ounce of prevention’? Well, I’m subscribing to that theory.” Nathan opened his door. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

  Ten minutes later, he emerged from the drugstore. He carried a big paper sack and stuck it between the two front seats. Vanessa peeped inside and let out a disbelieving laugh.

  At least a full-dozen bottles of pink liquid jumbled in the bag.

  “If you don’t want to eat the fried pickles, just say so. You didn’t have to buy out the store.”

  He snapped his seat belt and hitched his shoulder. “I figured we’d need it for the Mexico trip. Two for one.”

  “You’re a bargain shopper? Who woulda thunk it?”

  “Bargain? Me? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m not talking about a sale. I’m saying I’m killing two birds with one stone—the pickles and the trip.”

  Ten minutes later, seated in the Red Oak Steakhouse, Jeff repeated the prayer after Vanessa said each line. Just before she said, “amen”, he blurted out, “And God, please don’t let Daddy kill those birds. Amen.”

  “What birds, Son?”

  Jeff gave his father a sad look. “The ones on your trip that you wanna throw rocks at.”

  “It’s just a saying, Sport. It means taking care of two things at the same time.”

  “Oh.”

  Vanessa gave Jeff’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “But you were right. You can pray about anything that bothers you. I do, and it makes me feel better.”

  Vanessa saw emotion flare in Nathan’s eyes, but she couldn’t interpret it.

  “Your mom did that too,” he said quietly to Jeff. “She talked to God about all sorts of things.”

  The food came, and Jeff practically dove across the table. “I wanna try the pickle!”

  Vanessa arranged the napkin in her lap and avoided looking at Nathan. Had she gone too far? Spoken when she should have held her tongue? Opened the door to his grief again? Being torn between living for Christ and being sensitive to Nathan’s limits was like being stuck between third base and home—she was in a pickle, all right.

  ❧

  Nathan didn’t want the day to end. More to the point, he didn’t want his time with Vanessa to be over. After lunch, he decided they ought to take in a movie. They’d just missed the beginning, so to burn up time until the next showing, he drove to the huge, red-roofed Hotel Del Coronado. “Why don’t we wander and gawk? This old place is fascinating.”

  “I need to stop at the desk and make sure they’re okay with Amber on the premises.”

  “I’ll driv
e up to the front, then.” He pulled up to the entrance of the white main building, and a bellhop immediately opened Vanessa’s door.

  “I’ll only be a minute.” She hopped out, and Amber started to follow. “Amber, stay.”

  When Vanessa slipped inside, Nathan reached down and petted the dog. “She’ll be right back.”

  Indeed Vanessa came right back out. A gust of wind blew her hair into wild disarray, but Nathan could see her laugh in delight rather than become upset. She found so much joy in simple things. He loved that about her. She ducked her head into the car. “They’re fine with Amber as long as I have the training jacket and gentle leader on her. How about if Jeff and Amber stay with me while you park? That way we won’t have wet fur and a soggy boy?”

  Nathan looked beyond the portico at the gloomy drizzle and shook his head. As he scooted out of the car, he said, “I’ll just have them valet park. That way, we’ll all stay dry, and we’ll be able to get back to the theater on time.”

  They entered the lobby, and Vanessa started to get the giggles. Nathan gave her a questioning look. “What’s come over you?”

  “The valet is going to see all of those bottles you bought at the drugstore and think I’m the world’s worst cook!”

  “You’re a good cook, Van,” Jeff piped up. “I like the stuff you make, and you know how to make lotsa different junk. Dad’s a pretty good cook too. He makes terrific hot chocolate!”

  “Sport, you need to use your indoor voice.” Nathan looked around. “So where do you want to go first?”

  Vanessa looked around. “We can go downstairs and wander through a few shops. If it’s not raining, we can peek at the swimming pool.”

  Nathan nodded toward one of the antique elevators. The metal grillwork on it carried the grace of a bygone era. “They sure don’t make beauties like that anymore. Should we give Amber a chance to ride?”

  “Amber?” Jeff looked crestfallen. “What about me?”

  Vanessa leaned down. “You get to be the tail guard. You come along and make sure her tail doesn’t get caught in the door. That’s an important job.”

  They spent a leisurely hour-and-a-half wandering around. Jeff kept twisting around to check on Amber’s tail. “He’s a responsible little guy,” Vanessa praised.

  When they got into the theater, Nathan used a small penlight he’d brought in from his glove compartment to illuminate the floor. They found a spot that didn’t have any spilled soda or popcorn, and Amber curled up. Vanessa took her seat, and to Nathan’s dismay, Jeff hopped into the seat right next to her. He thought about picking the boy up and plopping him down in the next seat over. That way, Nathan could slip his hand over and hold Vanessa’s hand during the movie. . .or he could put his arm around her shoulders.

  “No, that’s not a good idea.”

  Nathan turned his head sharply. One of the men from the ball team held a flimsy cardboard tray laden with popcorn and drinks. He was trying to get four kids settled in and keep them from grabbing a drink all at the same time.

  Nathan extended his arm and shored up the bottom of the tray. “You’re about to lose the battle.”

  Doug groaned. “Thanks. Janey’s mom and sister are in town. I volunteered to take all of the kids for the day—but that was when we had a clear weather report.” He spied Vanessa and gave Nathan a keen look.

  Nathan ignored it. “Hope you enjoy the movie.” He sat down. Had he needed to give a review of the movie, he’d be sunk. The whole time it played, Nathan tried to sort out his thoughts. He liked her. . .as more than just a friend. Some-where along the way, she’d burrowed into his heart and made him start to face life again. He wanted her to be an integral part of that life. As the movie flickered on the screen, Nathan didn’t even follow the plot. He came to the rock-solid conclusion that he wanted to make their relationship a public thing. . . and hopefully a very private thing too.

  But wanting wasn’t enough. Vanessa deserved someone who shared the joy and innocence of her beliefs, and Nathan didn’t know if he could ever again be the man of faith he’d once been. Amber had howled during that hymn “It Is Well with My Soul,” but Nathan had to admit, It still isn’t well with my soul.

  ❧

  Two weeks later, Kip came into the pet shop. “Valene said you’re going to watch Jeff so Nathan can go with the Mexico work-and-witness team. Knowing how clear he’s been about not wanting to be involved with the church, I thought she got things mixed up. I couldn’t imagine him hanging out with a bunch of us, building a sanctuary, of all things, but I just stopped by Seaside and got the paperwork. I’m sharing a tent with Nathan.”

  Vanessa stayed on her knees on the hard linoleum floor. She’d started cleaning the birdcages, and when she put the latest sheet of newspaper in the tray to line this one, she’d spotted the comic strips and had taken a moment to enjoy them.

  Kip squatted down next to her. “Van, this isn’t funny. I’m worried about you.”

  “You don’t think I can handle Jeff and Lick for a week?”

  “Stop it right there. You can play games and tease other people into changing a subject, but I know you too well to get sidetracked. You’re losing your heart to Nathan.” He held up a hand to keep Van from responding. “Don’t bother to deny it or make excuses. It’s a fact. The question is: What are you going to do about it?”

  “Pray.”

  “That’s a good first step. What about exercising some wisdom?”

  Vanessa stared at Kip. He was known for being brutally honest at times. She had the sinking sensation she was about to get an earful. “I’m not going to pretend I’m at peace with everything, Kip. I’m being honest with God.”

  “But are you able to be honest with Him when you’re not being honest with yourself?” He smacked his thigh in impatience. “I’m partially to blame. I told you to pursue the relationship because I hoped you might be the Lord’s emissary to bring Nathan back into relationship with Him.”

  “You’re not to blame, Kip. It’s not that kind of situation at all. Since we’re shooting straight from the hip, here’s the truth: I really care for Nathan—as a friend and as a man. Until he can get over his grief and reestablish his relationship with the Lord, I know I can’t let the relationship go any further.”

  “This whole thing bothers me a lot. Don’t tell me you don’t feel any hesitance, because you have to. Deep in your heart, you have to know God would want you to put a brake on this before it rolls out into dangerous territory.”

  Vanessa slid the tray back into the birdcage. “I was reading Philippians 4 today.” She sat on the floor and quoted, “ ‘Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’ ” She let out a prolonged sigh. “I have to trust the Lord with this. I need to be patient about His timing and believe that He’ll guard my heart.”

  “Don’t stop there. What about verses eight and nine?” He locked eyes with her and quoted, “ ‘Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.’ ”

  She waited. Tension sang between them.

  “It’s not right, and you know it isn’t,” Kip finally insisted. “Nathan hasn’t renounced the Lord, but he’s miles away from a strong walk. You’re not feeling peace, and I think you need to reflect on it, because the Holy Spirit may be telling you to back off.”

  They both stood. Kip shook his head sadly. He reached over and cupped her cheek. “There was a time when I thought maybe you and I might make a go of things. I’ve always loved your sparkle and wit. I’ve accepted I won’t ever be the
man for you. You and Nathan have a special chemistry folks talk about that I’ve never really seen in action. I often struggle to tell you and Val apart when you’re together; blindfolded, even as short a time as he’s known you, he could figure out which one you are. I hoped maybe it was just infatuation and your family would step in and make you see the truth. I’ve probably put my foot in my mouth here, and you’ll likely chalk all of this up to a wild, jealous rant. It’s not, though. Van, as a brother in Christ—and I know that’s all I’ll ever be—I felt compelled to speak the truth.”

  He patted her cheek, then pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead and walked out of the shop. The bell chimed over the door, and for once, its cheery noise seemed dreadfully out of place.

  Nineteen

  Nathan stomped a few times and methodically dusted off his shirt front, sleeves, and the seat of his jeans before ducking into the tent. He was sore, dirty, and tired. He hadn’t felt half as good in years.

  “Place is really coming together,” Kip said as he lounged on his sleeping bag. “We ought to be able to get the roof up tomorrow.”

  Nathan nodded. He rummaged through one of the athletic bags he’d brought, then pulled out a pair of granola bars. He tossed one at Kip. “I’m too hungry to wait for supper.”

  “I could eat the hind legs off a running buck.” Kip chuckled as he peeled back the wrapper. “Who am I kidding? I’m getting so stiff, I couldn’t catch a centipede.”

  “No more than anyone else.”

  Kip shook his head. “I was hoping playing ball would help get me back in shape. After all of that waiting at the hospital or sitting in a desk chair, I was pathetic.”

  “What were you at the hospital for?”

  Kip set aside the Bible he’d been reading. “That was dumb of me. ’Course you wouldn’t know. My sister had leukemia. She had a bone marrow transplant last year.” He grinned. “She’s doing great now.”

  “Wow. Bet your family feels pretty lucky.”

  “Blessed is a better word for it.” He stretched and winced.

  Nathan didn’t say anything. For the past four nights, he’d stayed in the area after dinner for Bible study or fellowship. Around the fire they built in a big pit, they shared and spoke of life’s disappointments and joys, of how God gave them strength in the hard times.