Falling to Pieces

by Garza, Amber

My heart jolts. “Of course.”

  “Then you need to help him move on.”

  “Move on from what?” A stilted laugh escapes from my throat. “We’re just friends.”

  Cole gives me a bored look, and the girl he’s with looks up at me intrigued. “You and I both know that’s not entirely true.”

  My heart hammers in my chest, his words stirring crazy emotions inside of me. Since I met Asher I suspected his feelings were more than just friendship for me, but I’d never had it actually confirmed until recently. Now to have his friend saying the same thing makes my head spin.

  “How do you suggest I help him move on?” My tone is hard. “I can’t make Asher do anything, you know that.”

  “You need to make it clear that there isn’t a future for the two of you,” he answers.

  “I’ll be back in a minute with some waters and then I’ll take your drink order.” I spin on my heels and race toward the kitchen, my face burning up like I have a fever. Once safely inside the kitchen I allow my chest to expand, and a stream of air pushes past my lips. At that moment Brandon sweeps in through the door.

  “Hey.” I grab his arm. “Have you seen Billie?”

  “No.” His eyebrows knit together in concern. “Is everything okay?”

  Maybe Brandon isn’t so bad after all. It makes me feel a little bad for blowing off his friend the other night. I never should’ve done that. I mean, Cole may be a jerk, but he’s right about one thing. I have done enough damage to Asher’s life, and with all the baggage I’m carrying I’ll only succeed in doing more.

  “Yeah. Fine.” I force a smile. “Hey, I had a lot of fun with your friend the other night.”

  “Really?” Brandon looks genuinely shocked. “I’ll tell him. He liked you a lot too.”

  I nod, and pry myself from the wall.

  “Can I tell him to call you?” Brandon asks.

  I pause, not sure I want to go out with Tyler again. Only I know this is what I have to do. If I want Asher to move on, then I need to as well. “Yeah, that would be great.”

  “You’re really going out with him again, huh?” Billie sits on the closed toilet seat in our bathroom painting imaginary pictures on the floor with her bare toes while I straighten my hair. “I thought you didn’t like him.”

  I run the flat iron through a strand of hair, watching steam rise from it. “I like him just fine.”

  “Except that you said he was boring.” Billie gives me a knowing look. “What’s really going on, Ivy? You’ve been acting strange ever since you came home from work last night.”

  “Nothing.” I set the brush down on the counter, and face my friend. “You’re the one who always wants me to go out. I thought you would be happy about this.”

  She wrinkles her face. “Are you happy about this?”

  Exasperated, I return my attention to the mirror. “Yes. I’m going on a date with a nice guy.”

  “A nice, boring guy that you couldn’t wait to get away from the other night.” Billie stands, shaking her head. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

  I bristle at her words, and am about to argue with her when a knock on the door stops me. “Crap. He’s early.” I shoo her away with my hands. “Stall him. I still have to do the rest of my makeup.”

  When Billie scurries down the hallway, I lean over the sink and brush mascara over my lashes. I hear the door open, and a male voice fills the apartment. Quickly, I pick up my lip-gloss and run it over my lips. Billie’s head pops into the room, and I freeze at the look on her face.

  “What?” I ask.

  She moves one side of her mouth to the side, as if she’s contemplating whether or not to answer my question. “The door was for you, but it’s not exactly Tyler.”

  “Then who is it?” Before I even finish the sentence I know who it is. My skin prickles at the thought. I inhale deeply, and then reluctantly leave the restroom.

  Asher’s back is to me, and he’s stroking his neck with a muscular arm when I enter the family room. I stare at his broad shoulders and bulging bicep for a minute, imagining that his hands are touching me and not his neck. When he turns toward me, I snap back into focus.

  His eyes widen. “Whoa. Where are you going like that?”

  My cheeks flush. I glance down nervously at my long shirt, leggings and black flats. “I have a date, actually.”

  “What?” His eyebrows shoot up. “With who? The guy I saw you with the other night?” I open my mouth to tell him it’s none of his business, but he beats me to it. “You know what, never mind. This was a bad idea.” With his shoulders slumped, he staggers toward the front door.

  I know I should stay silent and let him leave, but curiosity gets the better of me.

  “Wait,” I call after him.

  16

  Asher

  The minute Ivy reveals that she has a date tonight I know it was a mistake to come. What had I hoped to accomplish anyway? I guess I just wasn’t thinking. After Sydney called I felt like I needed to apologize to Ivy for what happened last night.

  I was so surprised when my phone rang earlier today displaying Sydney’s number. After our ill fated night out, I assumed she’d never want to talk to me again. I almost didn’t answer, but then I remembered how sweet she had been about the whole thing, so I picked up.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she started. “It’s just that it’s clear by the way your eyes light up when you talk about Ivy that you really like her a lot. If a guy ever feels that way about me, I never want anyone to come between us.”

  This perked my interest, and I listened intently.

  “So, I feel like there’s something I need to tell you.” She paused then, and I feared she wouldn’t continue.

  “Go on,” I prodded.

  “Mercedes said that Cole took her to Sunny’s for dinner last night. Apparently he had a pretty heated conversation with Ivy about you.”

  I gripped the phone so hard my hand hurt. “What did he say to her?”

  “He told her to leave you alone; that she’d already done enough damage.”

  I ball my hand into a fist at my side, wanting to smash it into Cole’s face. I should’ve known he’d do something like this. He’s always putting his nose in other people’s business. Only this time he’d gone too far. Even if he was just trying to help, he never should’ve approached her. She’s been harassed enough.

  After hanging up, I just jumped in my car and came directly here. I didn’t bother stopping to think about the consequences. Of course, that seems to be my biggest downfall – my compulsive nature. It’s always getting me in trouble.

  I race out of Ivy’s apartment, cursing myself for coming here, but then she calls after me. Stopping, I spin around to face her. She stands in the doorway, her face bright. Ivy isn’t the kind of girl that needs makeup, but when she wears it, it brings out the blue in her eyes and shows off the heart shape of her lips. I find my gaze lingering on her mouth, imagining how it would feel against mine.

  “Why did you come by, Asher?” she asks.

  “I heard what happened last night with Cole, and I just wanted to apologize.”

  She stiffens at my words. “There’s nothing to apologize for. He just came in with his girlfriend to eat.”

  “I know what he said to you, Ives. It wasn’t right.”

  “He didn’t do anything wrong.” She smiles tightly. “Everything’s fine.”

  I step toward her. “Cole just thinks he’s protecting me, but I don’t need to be protected from you.”

  She moves away from me. “Look, my date will be here any minute. It would probably be awkward if he found me out here with a different guy.”

  Just the thought of her on a date with someone that isn’t me makes me feel like I might hurl. I imagine him touching her and kissing her, and I can’t take it. “Come with me for a ride.”

  Her eyes flash. “I can’t. I just told you.”

  “So what? Blow the guy off. My bike’s just downstairs.”

 
; For a minute I think she’s contemplating it, but then her eyes darken. “No.”

  “Ives, c’mon.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” I bridge the gap between us. “I don’t want you to date anyone else, Ives. Come out with me. Please?”

  Her gaze lifts to mine, and I see the longing in her eyes. I reach for her, but she pushes me back. “You need to leave, Asher.” She tries to close the door, but I block it with my arm.

  “Ives.” I throw her a wink. “You’re not going to make me go riding alone, are you?”

  She crosses her arms over her chest, giving me a challenging stare. “Fine. Go with Billie.”

  “Huh?” her friend says from inside.

  “Huh?” I echo.

  Ivy smiles triumphantly. “Yes, it’s perfect. Billie loves motorcycles. Besides, now that I think about it you two are perfect for each other. You guys should totally go out.” When she spins away from me and stalks inside, my mouth drops open in shock. That was unexpected. Did she really just push me to go out with her roommate? Just what is she up to?

  Billie’s frame darkens the doorway. She looks thoroughly uncomfortable. “Um, you don’t really have to take me riding. I don’t know why she said that.”

  I lift my head thinking that the best thing to do at this moment is to call Ivy’s bluff. “No, I think that would be fun. What do you say?”

  “I don’t know. Give me just a minute.” Billie holds up one finger before disappearing inside.

  After a few minutes she emerges wearing a leather jacket, jeans and boots. “Okay, let’s ride ‘em cowboy.”

  I frown. “You know it’s a bike, not a horse, right?”

  She laughs. “Thank goodness for that. Horses scare me.”

  I smile. Billie may not be the girl I want to go out with tonight, but at least she’ll be more fun than Sydney. I assume her spunkiness is one of the things that drew Ivy to her. We round the corner, and Billie places a hand on my shoulder. “Just give her time.”

  I look up at her and nod, wondering if she knows Ivy’s secret.

  “So, do you have an extra helmet for me?” she asks.

  “You can use Ivy’s.”

  She pauses. “You bought Ivy a helmet to use when she rides your bike? You really are the last romantic guy left, huh?”

  I chuckle. “No, I didn’t technically buy it for Ivy. It’s my extra helmet for anyone who rides with me. It just so happens that Ivy’s one of the only people who does.”

  She cocks her head to the side, assessing me out of the corner of her eye. “How is it that the two of you never hooked up?”

  “Ask her that.” I toss Billie the helmet, and she catches it. “Nice catch.”

  She shrugs. “I played softball back in the day.”

  “Oh yeah? For school?”

  “Yep.”

  “Were you any good?” I ask.

  “My coach thought so.” She shrugs modestly. As she climbs onto the back of my bike, I glance over to see that guy Ivy was with the other night getting out of his car. He’s wearing a collared shirt and slacks, and I have to refrain from laughing at him.

  “I can’t believe Ives is dating that guy,” I say, as Billie’s arms wrap around my middle. She doesn’t do it in a sensual way like Ivy. Instead, she holds me tight but keeps her fingers tucked into her palm. I get the feeling she’s trying not to touch me.

  “Don’t worry,” Billie says. “She thinks he’s boring. It won’t last long.”

  My insides warm at her words. Maybe this night won’t be so bad after all.

  We ride for awhile, and even though it’s different from riding with Ivy it’s still fun. Billie makes lots of jokes and she’s not skittish about being on a motorcycle like a lot of girls. I can definitely see why Ivy likes her. When we pull back into the apartment complex, I turn toward Billie. “That was fun.”

  “Yeah, it was. Now I see why Ivy’s so crazy about it.” Billie yanks the helmet off her head, and then runs her fingers through her short hair.

  “Have you never ridden before?” I ask incredulous.

  “No.”

  “Then why did Ivy say you liked motorcycles?”

  Billie shrugs, looking embarrassed. “I don’t know what Ivy’s up to.”

  I lean forward, smiling. “It seems like maybe you do.”

  “Okay, this is a little embarrassing.” Billie bites her lip. “I may have told Ivy that I think you’re really hot.”

  It’s not what I’m expecting her to say, and it catches me off guard.

  “Maybe Ivy just thought she was doing me a favor or something by forcing me on you.”

  “She didn’t force you on me,” I say. “I would’ve said no if I didn’t want to take you.”

  She smiles. “Look, I know you have a thing for Ivy. It’s pretty obvious. But I’m still glad you took me out on your bike. It was amazing.”

  “You wanna go again sometime?” I ask, my eyebrows raised.

  “I’d love to, but I don’t know.” Her gaze shifts back and forth. “I should probably talk to Ivy about it.”

  “I believe this was Ivy’s idea,” I remind her.

  “True.” She winks. “Okay, I’ll bite.”

  “Just don’t bite too hard,” I tease.

  When her cheeks flush, I kind of wish I hadn’t said that. Flirting just comes so naturally to me that oftentimes I do it without thinking. Only I can’t afford to flirt with Ivy’s friend. I’m only doing this to get under Ivy’s skin, and maybe find out a little information in the process.

  17

  Ivy

  I can’t focus on Tyler at all during our date. All I can think about is Asher and Billie riding around town on his bike. What was I thinking when I suggested that he take her for a ride? I guess I wasn’t. He just threw me by showing up unexpectedly. I never thought he would ever come to my apartment again, let alone to apologize for Cole’s behavior. His protectiveness of me almost made me cave this time. I want to be with him, but Cole’s right about me. I’m no good for Asher, so I need to just let him go.

  At the time it seemed like a good plan to push him toward Billie. It got him away from me, and I know it’s safe. I mean, Billie and Asher will never end up together. But the more time I spend with “Boring Tyler” I find my mind wondering what Billie and Asher are doing. Since I am known for having an overactive imagination, my thoughts go to places I wish they wouldn’t. By the time Tyler drops me off, I’m practically having an anxiety attack. It doesn’t help when I see Asher’s bike in the parking lot. Why is he still here?

  As I walk up the stairs, dread descends into my gut. What will I find when I go into my apartment? I don’t think I can stand it if Asher and Billie are making out…or worse. I hesitate before opening the door. I stand in front of it for several minutes with my key held out in front of me.

  Oh, this is silly.

  Finally I shove the key into the lock and push the door open. To my relief, Asher and Billie are sitting on the couch playing on Billie’s Xbox. I hate video games, so I never play with her. As a kid I never had a game system, and as an adult I just think they’re a big time waster.

  Asher turns to me when I enter. “Hey, how was your date?”

  I cringe at the way he says the word “date”. The whole thing is strange with him being here when I get back, playing video games with my roommate. I lift my chin. “It was really fun,” I lie.

  “Really? So “Boring Tyler” wasn’t so boring after all, huh?” Billie quips, still staring at the screen as she punches buttons on her controller in rapid succession.

  Dropping my purse on the table, I sigh. Why did she just share with Asher that I thought Tyler was boring? I wish I’d never told her that. I walk into the kitchen and pull a cup out of the cupboard. “No, he wasn’t boring. We had a good time.”

  “Then where he is he now?” Asher asks.

  His words stop me cold. “I never invite guys up.”

  “It’s true. She ne
ver does,” Billie interjects.

  I pour some water into my glass and take a sip. Asher abandons his controller and gets up off the couch. He swaggers toward me, causing my heart to involuntarily skip a beat. Tyler didn’t have this effect on me at all tonight, but one look at Asher and my heart beats so frantically I have trouble breathing.

  “You invited me up.” His blue eyes pierce mine, and I immediately drop my gaze. I stare at my glass of water as if it will tell me something. Asher leans in close and speaks in a voice so low only I can hear, “It’s nice to know that I’m the only guy that’s had that privilege.”

  My hands trembling, I move out from behind the counter and walk toward Billie. Having Asher here has caused my emotions to skyrocket again and I need to steady myself. I lower myself onto the couch, taking another gulp of my water. “So, did you two have fun on your ride?”

  “Yeah, it was great,” Asher answers from over my shoulder.

  “Good. I’m glad you two had fun. It sounds like all of our nights worked out.” I swallow hard, trying hard not to look in Asher’s direction.

  “Yeah, I am too,” Asher’s voice is strained. “I guess I should leave now. See you later, Ives. And Billie, I’ll call you about that ride.”

  Billie smiles at him, and it makes my stomach churn. I can’t even respond. I just stare at the ground when I hear the door open and close. The minute his feet hit the stairs Billie sets down her controller and turns to me.

  “Ivy, if you didn’t want me to go with him, you shouldn’t have practically forced me. I only went because you asked me to.”

  “I know.” I run my fingers around the rim of the glass. “It’s fine. I’m not upset.”

  “Yes, you are. I can tell.” Billie leans back on the couch. “So, how did it really go with Mr. Boring?”

  I giggle and set my glass down on the coffee table. “Boring.”

  Billie stretches out her legs, propping her feet up on the edge of the coffee table and wiggling her bare toes. “That’s what I figured. Why did you say you had fun?”

  I shrug. “I didn’t want to admit to Asher that the date was awful.”