Tears Fall at Night - smashwords

by Vanessa Miller

  “Hey Deidre, how are you doing today?”

  “Not so good, Carmella. I have some news that I really don’t like delivering.”

  “What’s wrong? Is Nelson still balking at the amount of alimony he’ll have to pay?”

  “He’s refused to sign the papers, Deidre. He doesn’t want the divorce.”

  Carmella sat down as she tried to wrap her mind around what she was hearing. Did Nelson really think that he could just call off their divorce as if it had just been a bad joke? “What do you mean? Does he think he can just come back home after all that’s happened?”

  “I don’t think he’s interested in coming home,” Deidre said.

  Now she was really confused. “If he doesn’t want to come back home, why won’t he just sign the divorce papers and get on with it?”

  “They won’t say. But Clark did let me know that Nelson is prepared to give in to all your demands as long as you let him postpone the divorce until December.”

  “But that’s not fair. Why should he get to put my life on hold without even giving us a reason?” Carmella was outraged, pacing back and forth, wishing she had something to throw. She had already given Ramsey her number… had already started dreaming of a life without Nelson and now he had the nerve to put her life on hold again. No, she wasn’t going to stand for it.

  “I think I know how we can get him to sign the papers.”

  “How?”

  “I can tell his attorney that if he doesn’t have those papers signed and in my office by the end of the week, we will go public with our story.”

  She was ready to be rid of Nelson, but she didn’t want to do anything to cause him any problems. “I don’t think I could do that, Deidre. I may not want to be his wife anymore, but I don’t want to do anything to hurt him either.”

  “You are truly a woman after God’s heart, Carmella Marshall. But I don’t want you to worry about this. I said that I would threaten to go to the press on him—we don’t actually have to do it. I’ll call Clark back and let you know if I make progress with them.”

  After that call from her attorney, Carmella felt depression trying to set in again, especially after she’d received a call from Ramsey. He’d called to tell her how much he had enjoyed having breakfast with her and had asked if she would like to have dinner with him. Carmella wanted to scream yes from the rooftop, but she was still a married woman. She didn’t want to play games with Ramsey and make him believe that she was just a signature away from divorce when Nelson was throwing her for all kinds of loops. She also didn’t feel like letting him in on her melodrama, so she simply said, “Can I think about it and give you a call back?”

  “Sure. I don’t want to rush you. I know you’re dealing with a lot right now.”

  Ramsey was so understanding and pleasant to talk to. How could she have ever thought her life would have been better without this man? It hurt so bad to say goodbye to Ramsey, because she felt as if Nelson was holding all the cards and she was once again powerless against him.

  ***

  The next morning before getting out of bed, Carmella turned her praise music on while reading a few chapters in the book Joshua. When she reached the twenty-fourth chapter and fifteenth verse, Carmella felt convicted by her attitude as she read, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. She realized that Joshua had made a definitive statement that didn’t take into account what might happen tomorrow or the next day.

  Come what may, Joshua and his household would serve the Lord. And if serving the Lord for her meant staying married to Nelson and saying goodbye to Ramsey, then that was what she would do. However, she didn’t feel as powerless the next morning as she had the night before. Because that morning after reading from the book of Joshua, Carmella knew that God would carry her through that time of uncertainty. Hadn’t He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho by causing the walls to come tumbling down?

  So, maybe God was at that very moment working to tear down Nelson’s hard-hearted walls. Maybe God wanted her to give her marriage a chance by allowing Nelson a few more months come to his senses. The ironic thing was that since Nelson was delaying the process, she was the one who wanted it to move faster. Her heart had been changed and she no longer lived, slept and ate Nelson Marshall.

  What scared Carmella, though, was that maybe it wasn’t God that had brought about that change in her attitude towards her husband. Maybe seeing Ramsey and having him flirt with her and take her out to breakfast had moved her heart away from her husband. That wasn’t right. Too many people lose their marriages because of wandering eyes. Carmella had too much respect for the institution of marriage to allow that to happen to her.

  With her mind made up, Carmella had two calls to make before she started her workday. The first call was to Ramsey. She hadn’t been truthful with him last night and Carmella felt that she owed him that.

  He picked up on the first ring, and Carmella quickly said, “I know you’re at work, so I won’t keep you.”

  “Don’t worry about it. This is my planning time, so I can talk for a while.”

  She cleared her throat as she gathered the strength to do what she believed was right. “I wanted to thank you for calling to check on me last night and for taking me to breakfast yesterday. That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Just imagine how much fun we’ll have when I take you to dinner,” Ramsey said.

  He sounded as if he was grinning, and Carmella sure hated to take the smile off his face. “That’s why I’m calling, Ramsey. I won’t be able to go to dinner with you.”

  “Would you rather do breakfast again?”

  “No Ramsey, that’s not it. Nelson hasn’t signed the divorce papers and has decided that he can’t do it until December.”

  “What’s going on, Melly? Didn’t you tell me that the divorce was his idea?”

  “I did and it is. I don’t understand Nelson anymore, so I won’t be able to explain the way his mind works. But I can’t see you until I am actually divorced. You do understand that, don’t you?”

  Ramsey puffed out a longsuffering breath as he said, “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.”

  They hung up and Carmella made her next phone call. When her attorney got on the line, Carmella said, “Tell Nelson that the only way I will agree to postpone the divorce is if he agrees to attend marriage counseling with me.”

  “If that’s what you want, I’ll pass your demand along to them.”

  Carmella could hear the disappointment in Deidre’s voice. But to her credit, Deidre held her tongue and handled her business.

  Carmella then got dressed and walked out of her bedroom and went to her kitchen, her new workstation. Joy was already in the kitchen, pulling spices out of the cabinet.

  “What are you doing up so early this morning?” Carmella asked her late-to-bed, late-to-rise daughter.

  “Mom, it’s nine-thirty. I could ask what you’re doing getting up so late, but I could tell that you were in a bad mood when you went to bed last night.”

  Her children were still worried about her. Nothing Carmella said would convince them that they could stop worrying; she would just have to show them one day at a time. “I was upset, but I prayed about it and I’m just going to let the Lord handle it.”

  Joy left her spot by the cabinets and sat down at the counter. “I was doing inventory on all your spices, so we’d know what to pick up at the store for these cakes you want to bake.”

  “Thanks for getting on that, Joy. I can’t believe my first event is only a week away.”

  Joy grabbed her mom’s hand and gave her a serious stare down as she asked, “Do you want to talk about what upset you last night?” When Carmella seemed to hesitate, Joy added, “You’ll feel better if you just get it off your chest… no more letting stuff fester, okay?”

  “Okay Joy, no more letting stuff fester.” Carmella sat down next to her daughter, she breathed in deeply and then said, “I was upset last night because y
our father has all of a sudden decided that he doesn’t want to sign the divorce papers until sometime in December. But after praying about it this morning, I called my attorney and told her that I would agree to it if he would agree to go to marriage counseling with me.”

  Joy shook her head. “Mom, don’t take this wrong, but for a smart lady, you are very naïve.”

  “I’m not being naïve, Joy. I’m just trying to do what I think God would want.”

  Joy closed her eyes, leaned her head back and as she reopened her eyes, she said, “Has it slipped your mind that the election is next month?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Think, Mom. Daddy has probably had some advance polling done and he now realizes that he would most likely lose the election if he divorced you right now. My guess is, he’ll be ready to sign the papers the moment he is re-elected to his judgeship.”

  “I don’t think that your father is as cold and calculating as you seem to believe. And neither you nor I know what the Lord has to say about this matter, so I choose to wait to find out.”

  “Suit yourself, Mom. I hope it turns out the way you want it to.”

  “Me too,” Carmella said, without indicating which way she wanted things to turn out.

  13

  Feeling like a fool, she sat in her pastor’s office waiting for Nelson who was an hour late. She glanced at her watch one more time and then said, “I’m really sorry about this, Pastor Mitchell. Nelson told my lawyer that he would come to this counseling session. He must have changed his mind and just didn’t bother to let me know.”

  “These things happen sometimes, daughter.”

  She had been a member of this wonderful church for twenty years. Pastor Mitchell was twenty-five years older than she, and he always called her daughter whenever they spoke. Being that her father was long gone, it made Carmella feel all warm inside every time she heard him address her as daughter. She wanted to put her head on his shoulder and cry her eyes out as she told him about all the problems she’d been having with Nelson and the kids.

  Instead of doing that, she put her purse on her shoulder and stood. “Sorry to have wasted your time, Pastor. I think I’ll just head on home now.”

  Pastor Mitchell came around his desk and took Carmella in his arms, giving her a warm, caring hug and asked, “How are you holding up?”

  His shoulder was there, so she leaned her head on it and let a few tears seep out. “It’s been hard, Pastor. I was caught off guard by this divorce, because I thought Nelson and I would be together until one of us buried the other.”

  As they moved apart, Pastor Mitchell patted her on the back while shaking his head. “I hate divorce. But if you’ve done all you can do, then rest in God, daughter. Let’s see what He says the end of this matter will be.”

  Carmella was upset when she left church, but by the time she drove home, she had almost convinced herself that God was working this thing out for her, so she didn’t need to stress over anything. But then she went inside her home and had to face her children.

  Joy was the first to pounce. “So how was the counseling session?” She looked at her watch and then commented, “With all of Daddy’s issues, I would have expected ya’ll to be there all night.”

  “Shut up, Joy,” Dontae said as he rose with hope in his eyes. “Just let Mom tell us what happened.”

  Carmella wondered if Nelson knew just how much Dontae needed him to do the right thing. If for no other reason, she would hold on as long as she could so that Dontae could get his hero back. But now she would have to tell them the truth. She put her purse and keys down and then said, “Your father didn’t show up.”

  “What do you mean? He agreed to the counseling session, right?” Dontae asked.

  “He did agree,” Carmella answered her son, while looking at Joy. And if she wasn’t mistaken, Carmella saw disappointment on Joy’s face. It was as if she had lost all faith in her Dad, but was still secretly hoping that he would restore her faith. She tried to sound bright and cheery as she said, “Look, I don’t want you two worrying about this. I’m sure Pastor Mitchell will allow us to reschedule the meeting. I’ll just call Nelson and get a time that works for him.”

  “Stop it! Stop it!” Joy screamed at Carmella.

  “I don’t know why you’re so upset with me, Joy. I haven’t done anything. I’m just trying to make this right for all of us.”

  “Don’t worry about us, Mom. You need to make this right for yourself.” Joy was still yelling as she added. “Daddy is playing you for a fool. He’s just stringing you along until the election. Don’t you get it? He’s never coming back home.”

  Carmella was getting a headache. Why had Nelson thought it was okay to leave her to handle the fall out of the mess he created. She couldn’t take much more. Lord Jesus, I am weak, so I need You to be strong for me, she silently called out to her God as she sunk down onto the sofa in the living room and began rubbing her temple.

  “Mom, don’t stress,” Dontae admonished. “We know you’ve tried to work with Daddy. It’s his loss, though.”

  If it was Nelson’s loss, Carmella wondered why she felt so lost and alone. Help me, Jesus!

  “That’s it. I’m going to handle this myself,” Joy said as she stormed out of the house.

  ***

  The next few days sped by as Carmella and Joy worked on the final preparations for her first paid event at Rose’s dinner party and Dontae busied himself with homework and football practice.

  It was the day of her event. Carmella had her business cards and she was putting the final touches on her cakes, pies, pudding and two different kinds of brownies. Her radio was on and Carmella was praising the Lord as she decorated her cakes. Joy had her checklist out and was busily counting the items and checking things off of her list. The praise music stopped as the radio station went to breaking news.

  The newscaster said, “With the election coming up, here are some things we thought you ought to know…”

  Carmella was stuffing frosting into a Ziploc bag. She cut a hole in the bag and frosted her pastries as the radio announcer talked about one issue after the next that affected North Carolina residents. The announcer then said, “And we have it on good authority that Judge Nelson Marshall, the same man who is running for re-election as a judge who will fight for family, has evidently stopped fighting for his own. Because he has left his wife and is now living with his pregnant girlfriend.”

  The frosting bag in Carmella’s hand dropped, as her hands went to her mouth. She had no idea that she would be this devastated to hear that Nelson had gotten another woman pregnant. “Oh my God,” she said as she started backing away from the table. She wanted to run to her bedroom and lock the world out as she digested this news.

  “Mom, wait,” Joy said, as she grabbed hold of her mother.”

  “I just need a moment, Joy. I’ll be back, okay?”

  “No, I don’t want you to go.” Joy hugged her mother. “It’s not true, anyway. Jasmine isn’t pregnant, so don’t get upset for nothing.”

  Carmella pulled away from her daughter and then glanced over at the radio. “But they just said—”

  “I gave that information to the media. I never told them that she was pregnant, but I insinuated it.”

  Carmella sat down. She lowered her head as she inhaled and exhaled. As she calmed herself, she turned back to her daughter. “Why would you do something like this, Joy?”

  “Instead of asking me why I would do what I did, why don’t you ask him how he could have done all this to you?”

  “You had no right to put our business out there for everyone to hear. How do you think this makes me feel? Now I have to go to this party tonight and face all of these people while trying to get business from them.” At this point Carmella wanted to call Rose and cancel. If this event had been for anyone but Rose, she would have done just that. She took a deep breath, decided to put one foot in front of the other and move forward.

 
Carmella got back to putting the frosting on her items. She tried her best to ignore Joy as she floated around the kitchen. But alas, Joy would not be ignored.

  “I’m sorry, Mom. Don’t be mad at me.”

  Carmella shook her head, still steaming at what Joy had done.

  “I did it for you, Mom.”

  Carmella gripped the edge of her prep table as she told Joy, “I never asked you to humiliate me. Nor did I ask you to lampoon your father’s chances of getting re-elected.”

  “He doesn’t deserve that job. He’s a hypocrite.”

  Carmella blew out an exhausted breath. “Joy, one day you are going to have to find a way to forgive your father. I don’t want you going through life bitter and unyielding.”

  “I’m not bitter and unyielding,” she declared.

  Carmella held up a hand. “I don’t have time for this right now. Let’s just finish getting everything together and get through this event.” Before turning back to her pastries, Carmella pointed a stern finger in Joy’s face, “But I’ll tell you right now, Joy Lynn Marshall, I’m going to make sure that you are the one passing out the pastries tonight. I’m going to stay at my station and let you handle all of the people who want to tell you how sorry they are about your dad.”

  “It’s the least I can do for you, Mom. And again, I’m sorry that I embarrassed you. I hadn’t thought about the other side of this story when I was passing it on to the media.”

  ***

  Rose’s party was fabulous. And even though Carmella worried about receiving pity comments from the guests at the party, no one bothered them. She passed out her business cards and received orders from five of the guests. As they were driving home, Carmella’s phone rang.

  It was Deidre. Carmella pushed the phone button on her steering wheel and said “Hello?”

  Deidre’s voice traveled through the car as she said, “I have good news. Nelson signed the divorce papers.”

  Joy rolled her eyes.

  “Are you kidding?” Carmella said, “I thought he didn’t want to sign until after the election?”