Hey. Are you here? I’m at the bar. I can’t find you.
There was a silence that felt thick.
In that bare span of seconds, I knew. I knew where he was.
He was downstairs, in the secure area.
My nerves rose abruptly. I pinged him again, louder.
Revik? Are you there?
I’m busy right now, Alyson.
Biting my lip, I fought my own defensiveness.
I was going to tell you. As soon as I saw you in person.
Then let’s not talk about it now, he sent back, his thoughts cold.
Where are you? Can I see you? I’d like to––
No. His light grew colder still. And you already know where I am, wife. I'm downstairs. Where you just were.
My hands clenched. I hesitated a bare second, then sent the words anyway.
Don’t go in there, Revik.
Excuse me? His anger rose sharply. What did you just fucking say to me?
You heard me just fine. Don’t go into Ditrini’s cell. I mean it.
Is that an order… wife?
I’ll make it one, if I have to. Biting the inside of my cheek, I exuded a pulse of harder warning. Revik, you know damned well what he’ll do if you go in there yourself. Send someone else. Feed them questions. But don’t let him see you there. It’s what he wants.
No, wife. What he wants is for you to go in there. Alone. Preferably behind my back.
Revik, damn it. I’m sorry––
He shut me out of his light.
Biting my lip, I felt my cheeks warm as my eyes clicked back into focus.
The first person whose gaze I met was Jon.
He must have read something on either my face or my light, because I saw him frown, even as a shimmer of… something… left his aleimi. I realized his light had grown too complex for me to read in the old way, but I couldn’t focus on him well enough to go deeper. At the moment, I couldn’t be bothered to try very hard, either.
Seeing his questioning look, I sent him a pulse of reassurance.
It’s fine, I added with my mind. He’s mad at me.
Why? Jon sent back, so clearly it startled me. Or is it personal?
Half and half, I sent with a sigh. While you and he were talking, I went downstairs to talk to Ditrini. I didn’t tell him I was going to do it. Biting my lip, I shrugged, admitting, I more or less lied to him about it, actually.
I felt a reaction in Jon’s light, strong enough that Wreg flinched next to him, then glanced at me, his dark eyes puzzled. I reacted a little to feeling Jon in that way, the clarity in his light––then sighed, irritated with myself.
Hell, if anything, it was a relief. The wall between us that had been frustrating me off and on for the past four years had finally fallen away.
I know, I sent, sighing again. Believe me, I know. I had a good reason, though. I’ll explain later, I promise. Hesitating, I made my thoughts lighter when I added, You’d better take your man upstairs, Commander Jon. Just looking at him makes me tired.
Jon glanced at Wreg, a faint concern in his eyes as he caressed the hair out of the seer’s face.
Yeah, he sent, sighing. He looked back at me. …About that. We thought we’d wait until arrangements could be made. For both of us being out of commission, that is. We wanted to talk to you, Revik and Balidor. Probably Yumi, Vik, Tarsi and Chan, too. Can we set aside some time this evening? Maybe have a planning dinner, the nine of us? Ten, if you think Declan should be there, too, or anyone from Arc Enterprises.
I stood there for a second, thinking about his words.
I was relieved Jon and Wreg wanted to plan for this, but it also made me feel strangely guilty. I should have been the one asking for that, not the reverse.
He laughed. Really, big sis? You think so, huh?
Well, yeah, I sent, a little defensive. I didn’t plan that for myself. I thought it was a friends and family thing. Revik asked Cass and Chan to do a lot of that. Mostly Cass.
Once I mentioned her name, I wished I hadn’t.
I saw Jon wince, right before a pulse of pain came off his light.
He tried to talk over it, just like I had earlier.
Oh, he sent, his thoughts stripped of emotion. Well. You don’t have to do this one, Al. I know you and Revik have got your hands full.
Are you guys going to do a wedding? I know Gar was partly joking, but––
Allie, don’t worry about any of that, seriously. Wreg and I have some other things we need to take care of before we talk about that whole end of things. Maybe we can discuss that later tonight, too?
I nodded, still feeling off-balance, and not only because Revik was seriously pissed off at me, maybe for the first time since we were in the Tank.
The idea that Jon would soon be going through the same kind of bonding process Revik and I went through was hard for me to process, especially now, with everything else going on.
Killer viruses. Killer storms. Earthquakes.
The damned apocalypse had just started.
I remembered how completely irrational Revik and I got, how lost we were. Jon and Wreg would be doing that here, at our base camp in the middle of what was essentially a war zone, or soon would be. Moreover, we might have company soon.
Ditrini sure seemed to think so.
Breathe, sis. Jon’s mental voice contained a wan attempt at humor.
This isn’t disapproval, I sent, unable to keep the tension out of my thoughts. It’s worry, Jon. It’s not a great time for either of you to be that vulnerable.
I know. A sigh came from deeper inside him. Believe me, we both know. But we may not have much choice. We’re having to make a serious effort to be this restrained.
Are you really that far along?
Jon shrugged, coloring even in the dim light. Far enough that we both agreed we should stay out of each other’s beds until we’ve had a chance to make arrangements.
Does Balidor know?
He might, Jon admitted. He arranged a suite for the two of us… without Wreg or me asking him for it. So either he saw this coming, or he’s so tied into the construct, me and Wreg were annoying him.
I snorted. Yeah. It could be either, really.
Allie, Jon sent, sounding worried. Shouldn’t you go talk to Revik?
Sighing, I folded my arms, gesturing with my hand almost without knowing I did it. He doesn't want to see me right now. He’s pissed. He told me to leave him alone.
Should you be listening to him?
I rubbed my face. I don’t know. He’s down there now. I’m worried he’s already in there, talking to that psychopath. Ditrini would absolutely love it if he went in there. He’s probably been rehearsing everything he wants to say to Revik since we picked him up… if not longer.
There was a silence.
It didn’t occur to me at first, but the silence was partly because Jon was shielding from me. He didn’t want to know about my time in China any more than Revik did.
As if hearing me, Jon sent, Are you sure Revik doesn’t already know that stuff, Al? He told me he saw most of your time in China while you two were in that healing coma or whatever. Well enough to recognize Surli when he first saw him in that cell.
I didn’t answer.
Revik apparently told Jon more than he’d admitted to me.
I knew he’d seen impressions of my time there, but he’d been more than a little vague about details. He asked me about the thing with Surli without ever admitting to me he recognized him. I found myself wondering which parts of the Ditrini thing he’d seen before he asked me about that too, and winced.
He’d known enough to talk to Balidor and Wreg about having Ditrini killed, even before he’d seen the tattoo Ditrini put on my back.
Shit, I thought towards Jon. I’d better go find him. If I don’t, he’ll probably kill Ditrini before Balidor gets a chance to question him again.
Was it that bad? Jon sent.
When I glanced at him, Jon must have seen something in
my face. He quickly shook his head.
Never mind. Sorry I asked.
It’s fine. But I really should go.
Jon nodded, sending a pulse of reassurance I felt in my heart. Again, it was strong enough to startle me, and warm enough that it brought a surprised smile to my lips. Unfolding my arms, I nodded back, sending him a pulse in return.
Thanks, I sent. And congratulations. Really. Just don’t kill each other, okay? We need you both. Him, too.
Gotcha, he sent, mock serious. Don’t kill husband. I’ll try to remember.
Maybe write it down? I suggested. Or have Wreg give you a tattoo?
For the gods’ sakes, don’t get him started on tattoos, please... Jon rolled his eyes, giving me a genuine frown. Seriously. Don’t mention me and tattoos in the same sentence to Wreg. Or really, ever… but definitely not in front of him.
I laughed aloud at that, unable to help myself.
Please don’t explain, I sent back. Ever. Do that, and you have a deal.
Done.
I was already edging back through the crowd, following the curve of the horseshoe-shaped tank towards the entrance. Most of those clustered around the bar had already forgotten me––partly because I wasn’t drinking, I suspected, so not in the same headspace as the rest of them, and partly because most could probably tell I was in the Barrier.
They must have been watching Jon, too.
As soon as he and I stopped talking, Neela smacked Jon on the shoulder, offering him a shot of something. One of those two things had Wreg scowling again, but Jon leaned back, sitting in Wreg’s lap as he downed the offered shot.
Before they’d dropped from sight, I was already sliding back into the Barrier.
My message that time was brief.
On my way down, I told him.
Allie, he sent angrily. No––
That time, it was me who pushed him out, shutting the door on his light even as I headed for the bank of elevators that would take me to the right part of the basement.
31
DOG HOUSE
HE MET ME at the elevator.
I felt a hard pulse of his light as soon as the doors began to open.
Being that close to him, it wasn’t just anger I felt. His hurt hit at me, along with sex-pain, frustration, helplessness and a volatility that lived somewhere below all of that. All of those things, alone and in combination, were intense enough that my adrenaline spiked.
My eyes never left his as I walked out of the elevator to face him.
Despite everything I felt on him, his voice was completely devoid of emotion.
“I asked you not to come,” he growled. “I asked you, Allie.”
I stayed where I was, not moving as the elevator doors closed behind me.
His eyes were glowing. Pale rings of brilliant green, they shone and flickered at me like living flames. His aura sparked around him, raising the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck. It moved like a separate entity, alive and seething, crackling in the air around his body and mine.
“Revik.” I reached for him with my aleimi, hesitating when I felt him jerk back when my light came in contact with his. I softened my voice. “…Revik, hey. You need to calm down, okay? I know you’re mad at me. I get that, but calm down, please.”
His jaw hardened. If anything, his eyes glowed brighter.
“Hey.” I reached for him with my hand that time, but he took a step back, his jaw clenching harder. “I had a good reason, okay? I had a good reason for going in there.”
“I know.” His voice came out so deep and low, it really did sound like a growl. “You think the Lao Hu put some kind of block on your light. You think he did it.”
I stared in surprise. “Well, if you know that, then––”
“Alyson,” he snapped. “I know because I watched the fucking recordings.” His face hardened more when I touched his light again. “Fucking stop it! I’m not an animal. Stop trying to ‘manage’ me, goddamn it. I have every right to be angry!”
I withdrew my light cautiously, but continued to watch him, both from the Barrier and with my eyes. Him, I could see clearly. Probably because of the bond.
“Revik, you're not yourself right now.”
“Don’t start, Allie. Don’t fucking start. If I’m not myself, then maybe––”
“Revik!” My jaw hardened. “I’m not ‘managing’ you, goddamn it! You’re freaking me out. You’ve been acting strange all day. I’m seriously starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with your light… something unrelated to this.” Trailing at the rage that rose to his eyes, I cut him off before he could speak. “Look. I know you’re pissed I didn’t tell you beforehand. I’m not minimizing that. I get it, okay?”
“Bullshit!” he snarled. His eyes glowed brighter, causing me to step back. “Bullshit, Allie! If you ‘got it’ you wouldn’t have fucking done it! You wouldn’t be trying to distract me with other crap in an attempt to pretend you didn’t do anything wrong!”
I fell silent, watching him. I was wondering now if I needed to call Wreg.
“Go ahead!” Revik snapped. “Call him! Let’s get Wreg down here! We’ll see what the head of your goddamned security team has to say about you going in there, interrogating psychopaths you share an aleimic bond with. I’m sure he and Balidor will love that you went in there without informing either of them. Without any real back-up, for fuck’s sake!”
I blinked, but just stared up at him, fighting to understand what I could see in his eyes and his light. My silence only seemed to anger him more, though.
“I’m taking you out of here,” he said. “I’m taking you the fuck out of here, Allie!”
“Out of here?” I frowned, bewildered, looking around. “Out of where? The basement?”
“No.” He shook his head, jaw hard. Staring off to the side, he clenched his jaw. “No, not the fucking basement. Gaos di’lalente… I never should have let them bring you back here. I clearly can’t trust you to keep yourself safe. Hell, I can’t even trust you to tell me the goddamned truth about the kind of danger you want to put yourself in. Might as well be one of your servants, not your husband who gets any kind of head’s up on what you’re thinking… much less what you intend to actually do.”
I didn’t answer, but watched the volatility in his light warily.
I fought to keep my light open, to not withdraw from him, knowing that would only make this worse. I tried to focus on the pain I felt on him, not the anger. I tried to make sense of the hurt underlying that pain instead of the part of him that felt like it wanted to fight me––physically, that is––or maybe just drag me out of there by force. Even so, I could feel that a more animal part of me was getting ready to fight him, if I had to.
Could this really be all about Ditrini?
“Revik… has anyone looked at your light since we got here? Has Balidor checked the construct over the hotel?”
“What?” Revik stared at me, his voice hostile as his eyes sparked brighter. “What the fuck are you talking about, Alyson?”
“You know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about Shadow messing with our construct, planting someone here who’s––”
But he was already shaking his head, clicking loudly.
“No, Allie.”
“Revik, you know it’s possible. Remember South America? How both of us reacted to––”
“No, Allie.” His voice came out hard, but I saw some of that fire in his eyes dim. “No. That’s not it.” He grunted. “Nice deflection, though, wife.”
I stared at him, affected more by his tone than his words. I could hear him in it again. Even so, I found myself watching his eyes, swallowing.
“How can you be sure?” I said. “You thought it was real last time, too. You always think it’s real when you’re in it.”
“I’m sure. Believe me, I’m sure.”
I frowned. “Then what the hell is this? What is wrong with you?” I hesitated, still thinking. “Does this have something to d
o with what’s wrong with me?”
He shook his head. That time, it didn’t feel like a “no” precisely.
I frowned. “What does that mean?” At his silence, I sharpened my voice. “Revik, you need to tell me what’s going on. Earlier, in the room, something was going on with you, too. You said you would tell me, when––”
“I’m fine, Allie. It’s not Shadow, okay?” He clicked shortly, hands on his hips. I watched him stare hard at the floor, as if indecisive. “I really should take you out of here,” he muttered. “Just fucking go. Not tell anyone.”
I frowned. “Take me out of where? The hotel? New York? What the hell are you talking about? Why would we leave here, when all of our people are here? What aren’t you telling me?”
He gave a short laugh, glaring at me. “What am I not telling you?”
I bit my lip. “You’ve been avoiding telling me something for days, Revik. Weeks, probably.”
“Nice diversion, wife. Really fucking nice.”
“I’m not diverting you. You brought it up, not me.”
“Gaos, Allie. You lie to me, sneak behind my back. Put yourself in danger––”
“I wasn’t in fucking danger! Jesus! He’s chained to a damned chair. They have him drugged. And I did have back-up, despite what you say. Tenzi, Garend and Anale were there. Tenzi was outside the damned door with his hand on the gas the whole time. I appreciate your concern, but you’re crossing a fucking line here, Revik. I have every right to question one of our prisoners. My issues with Ditrini make it more my decision. Not less.”
At his scowl, I scowled back at him.
“Look, I shouldn’t have lied,” I said. “But I get tired of fighting you guys all the time. I knew you and Balidor would want to put me through a million protocols and probably make me wait through days of you interrogating him before you let me near him. I wasn’t in the mood to go through another one of your hyper-protective obstacle courses, only to have me pull rank and do the exact same thing I just did, only after weeks of pointless arguments. I knew you’d be pissed off at me no matter how I did it… so I did it my way, on my own timeline.” At the anger building in his expression, I cut him off. “I knew what you’d say, okay? I knew. I understood all of the risks, and the arguments, and I didn’t want to hear it all again.”
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