Summer at Tiffany's

by Karen Swan

‘If we have to be,’ she riposted, knowing she sounded childish. ‘Aren’t you going to ask me why she’s not talking to Gem?’

  ‘OK. Why isn’t she talking to Gem?’

  ‘I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me that.’

  Archie groaned. ‘Well, I know she’s livid about having to hide the puppy from Laird until Saturday. It’s given her loads more work to do, as if she wasn’t already busy enough with me, Velvet and her mother. Of course! Throw a puppy into the mix! Did you hear it crying last night?’

  Cassie shook her head.

  ‘No. Me neither. But she did. Was up three times in the night, and then of course Velvet woke up early for once.’ He groaned. ‘Oh Christ, I don’t know. This is all way above my pay scale. No wonder men talk sport.’

  They were quiet for a moment.

  ‘Tell me what you think of Laird,’ she said. ‘You’ve spent more time with him than me or Suze.’

  ‘I think he’s a decent bloke – obviously batty about Gem, down to earth, sporty, good with his hands. And Luke too. I’m really enjoying his company, I have to say. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. His job’s so fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.’

  Cassie felt sick at the words. When he found out who Luke really was – or rather, had been – and surely he inevitably would, he’d feel utterly traitorous for having be friended Henry’s nemesis. She knew she ought to tell him, that now was the time, but the words wouldn’t come. She still didn’t want to consider the possibility of Henry knowing Luke had been here and the suspicions that would arouse.

  ‘So you don’t think it’s dodgy that he wants to settle down so young? Hats and Suze are convinced he’s after Gem’s money.’

  Arch shrugged. ‘He’s an orphan too. I reckon things are different when it’s just you against the world. You’d want to start building your tribe sooner rather than later.’

  ‘Do you know what happened to his folks?’

  He shrugged again. ‘I didn’t like to ask. But it explains a lot, don’t you think?’

  ‘Yeah, maybe.’ She pulled her hands out of the water, shaking them dry and resting them under her cheek like Archie.

  ‘My darling wife and her mother are making their lives far more stressful than they need to, by fretting about this wedding; it’s not like we don’t have enough going on at the moment, what with me trying not to die.’

  ‘Oi. Enough of that talk, mister.’

  Archie winked at her again. ‘Gem’s nearly twenty-one: she can make her own decisions. Frankly she should make her own decisions. What’s the worst that can happen? They divorce.’ He gave a lackadaisical shrug.

  ‘Arch, you say that like it’s no big deal, but I’ve got the T-shirt, remember? It’s pretty bloody bad. I feel like I’ve had to grow a new skin, a new heart, getting over it.’

  Arch reached over and patted her hand.

  She tried to go back to the point. This was about Gem, not her. ‘Plus, when they divorce, he takes half her fortune – that’s the problem Hats and Suze are worried about. Gem’s robust – she’ll bounce back; but that inheritance is her parents’ legacy.’

  ‘Laird’s not materially minded. Look at him back there. He’s all about the spirit, catching the perfect wave.’

  ‘Even more reason, then, why he’d be up for a quarter-share in Butterbox and Snapdragons. This is one of the top ten surfing beaches in the world.’

  Archie pulled a shocked face. ‘So sceptical, Miss Fraser! I never knew you had it in you.’

  ‘That’s the thing about divorce, Arch,’ she muttered, closing her eyes again. ‘By the time you come out the other end, you automatically see the worst in everybody and don’t trust anybody.’

  ‘Not even yourself?’

  ‘Myself least of all. No one ever said survival was pretty.’

  There was a small pause. ‘Henry’s not Gil. He would never—’

  ‘I know.’ Dammit. They were back to her, again.

  ‘But . . . ?’ Archie asked, opening both eyes to look at her.

  She looked back at him. ‘But every time I think of becoming a Mrs again – a wife – I feel trapped and powerless, like I’m putting my entire life in his hands. I know Henry would never abuse my trust, but then I never thought Gil would either. It’s not as simple as just putting another ring on my finger. I have to give up my name, change my passport, my driving licence, my bank details . . . Everything that says I’m me. Nothing changes for you. You lot don’t even have to wear a ring if you don’t want to. It’s the girls who do all the giving up, renouncing their own identity, not the men.’

  Archie’s face fell. ‘Christ, when you put it like that . . . I feel bloody awful now to have asked Suzy to be my wife.’

  Cassie laughed, splashing him with water. ‘Stop it. You know what I’m saying. When you get married for the first time, you place hope over experience. It’s different second time around. And none of these feelings are about doubting Henry – it’s not personal or about him. They’re just the scars of divorce.’

  ‘Once bitten, twice shy, huh?’

  It wasn’t the first time she’d been told that. She stared at him. ‘Surely you can talk to him for me, when he gets back? Try and get my point across? Whenever I try, he takes it as a rejection of him, and it’s not. And then we fight.’

  ‘Hang on a minute, I’m supposed to be negotiating between you and Suze, not you and Henry.’

  ‘I’ll pay you a commission.’ She pulled a face. ‘I seem to be at war with everyone at the moment. Can’t do right for doing wrong.’

  ‘It’ll all make sense with hindsight. That’s what I always tell myself when I’m on a balls-up bender of my own.’

  ‘Yo!’ They both lifted their heads to find Laird paddling towards them, a grin on his face. ‘Look who’s come to join us for a few rides before sundown.’

  They glanced behind to see a dark head, powerful shoulders and arms, paddling fast in their direction, wetsuit still rolled down.

  Cassie felt her heart drop. Oh great, what was he doing out here? One of the reasons she’d come out in the first place was to avoid having to see him, along with the others, at the house.

  ‘Luke, old boy,’ Archie said happily, struggling to sit up, wincing as the cold seawater slapped around him from the movement.

  ‘Hey,’ she nodded quietly, sitting up too as he approached. She watched as he pushed up into a sitting position, legs astride the board, his eyes dancing with the same delight as Laird’s.

  ‘It was too good an evening to pass up,’ Luke grinned, bumping boards with Archie in greeting and noticing his bone-dry hair. ‘Caught any good waves so far?’

  ‘Well, I’ve been ripping it up, but these two have been holding a mothers’ meeting,’ Laird laughed. ‘I thought they were going to whip out a flask and start serving up coffees at one point.’

  ‘I’ll have you know we’ve been putting the world to rights over here. Poor Cass has got a lot on her plate at the moment. Falling off the bridge this morning was the least of her worries.’ Archie gave her a comradely wink.

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Luke said, jamming his arms into the sleeves of his wetsuit and rolling it over his shoulders. ‘Like what, Cass? I thought your life was pretty perfect.’

  Cassie stared at him. Like he didn’t know! It was his fault that she’d fallen out with Amber, Gem and Suzy! She’d told him she didn’t want all those beers; she’d told him she didn’t want to get on his shoulders, and look at the result! He hadn’t even been allowed to talk to her since the concert. How could he pretend nothing was wrong, for either one of them?

  ‘Arch is telling porkies. We were actually discussing whether he should go ahead with the operation for his ingrowing toenails.’

  ‘Eww!’ Laird laughed as Archie gasped in indignation.

  ‘Suzy would never stand for my toenails getting that long.’

  ‘Your wife clips your toenails, mate?’ Laird asked, slapping his board with hilarity. ‘Oh, dude, that’s even wo
rse!’

  Cassie chuckled – glad she’d moved the conversation on – but she was aware of Luke’s stillness amid their silliness, his eyes upon her, just like Suzy had said.

  ‘Well, whatever you’ve got going on, it’s time to ride,’ Luke said after a moment, reaching his arms up behind his head and tugging the tape on the back zip. ‘These waves are perfect for you. I learned on surf like this.’

  Archie wrinkled his nose. Apart from his legs dangling in the water, he had dried off. ‘To be honest, I think I’ll just—’

  ‘Uh-uh-uh. There’s only one way back in, mate,’ Laird said, slapping one hand onto Archie’s shoulder. ‘And that’s standing up. Come on, you’ve done it once before. I’ll lead you in.’

  ‘Cassie? Want me to guide you?’ Luke asked her, running his finger inside the neckline of his wetsuit, adjusting it fractionally.

  ‘It’s all right,’ she demurred. ‘I can’t stand up. I’ll just belly-board in.’

  He looked at her in surprise. ‘That’s it? You’re just going to give up? I never thought of you as a quitter.’

  ‘Listen, I’ve spent over a week trying to get up on this thing. No one can say I haven’t tried.’ Frustration tinted her voice.

  ‘Then we’ll do it together. Surfing’s all about knowing when to make your move. You can’t go for just any wave. We’ll line up just after the break there and when I say go, you pop, OK?’

  She shrugged with a teenager’s carelessness, wondering what the fallout would be when it got back to the girls that the two of them had been surfing together too. Archie might have to become her character witness. ‘Fine, but Laird said exactly the same thing and I know it’s not as easy as you make it sound.’

  ‘We’ll see you back on shore, chaps,’ Archie said as Laird began paddling away.

  Luke nodded, watching them go before turning back to her. ‘You OK?’ he asked in a different tone of voice – concerned, intimate.

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘I mean everything that’s been going on with Amber and the girls. It seems like you’re having a tough time.’

  Cassie immediately looked away, taken aback by his kindness, a wall of blocked emotion rearing up inside her and taking her completely unawares. Why was she upset? She didn’t understand . . .

  ‘Amber feels so bad about earlier. I mean, really, really bad. She was in a bit of a state when we got back to the house, to be honest.’

  Cassie shrugged. Amber hadn’t looked in much of a ‘state’ in that hidden nook at the far end of the beach when she’d stumbled across them kissing earlier, but she wasn’t prepared to go over it with him.

  She looked down, noticing that her hands were beginning to tremble. She’d been in the water for too long. That, probably, and the shock . . .

  ‘We should go,’ she said.

  He reached out to stop her board. ‘Wait. Look . . . I just wanted to explain why I’ve, you know . . . disappeared. It’s not your fault, but if I so much as look at you, she freaks out.’

  Her and Suzy, it seemed. ‘Whatever. I don’t care.’ She raked one hand hard through her hair, refusing to look at him. He appeared to have gone very still. ‘I take it she knows now? About us?’

  He hesitated, before nodding. ‘I had to tell her.’

  ‘I don’t know why it had to be a secret in the first place. I sincerely doubt I’m the first of your exes she’s come across.’

  ‘No. But you were the only one who mattered.’

  She looked across at him, taken aback by the tone in his voice, the look in his eyes. She could feel the nearness of his leg in the water beside hers – the displaced water pushing against her skin as their boards bumped and nudged each other in the swell. ‘We need to go,’ she said, quickly lowering herself onto the board.

  ‘Cass—’

  ‘The others will be waiting.’ She began paddling inshore.

  Luke caught her in two strokes, but he didn’t try to stop her; instead, they cut through the water, side by side, in silence, positioning themselves six feet short of the break, alongside the line of other surfers, all sitting on their boards, waiting.

  They bobbed on the surface, the moment that had just eluded them darting around them like a shadow in the depths, but keeping a safer distance.

  ‘OK. Two back,’ Luke murmured after a while. ‘See it?’

  ‘Yes.’ Nerves fluttered inside her.

  ‘When I say, start to paddle. And you pop on my command, OK? No hesitation.’

  She gave a small, dry laugh. ‘Pop on my command . . .’ It sounded funny, but he wasn’t laughing; he wasn’t even smiling. His eyes were on the wave that was heading straight for them – unbroken, its power still hidden below the surface, its twin threat and promise still just a suggestion from here.

  She stared at his profile, outlined against the deep pink sky – so handsome, so unsettling, so familiar. She had traced it a long time ago with her fingers, her tongue . . .

  Her stomach twisted. They didn’t have to ride this wave that was heading straight for them. They could let it just slip past, flow beneath them, ignored, and their heads would stay above water. They could drift over it as if it had never been there at all. But—

  ‘Paddle.’

  Her arms began to move, slicing the water in powerful arcs, and he was alongside her, the wave only feet away now. She could hear it gather and build below her like a storm, the rolling concentration of energy still pent up and leashed.

  ‘Now!’

  It seemed too early to her, but there wasn’t time to think or argue. Instinct took over. She could feel the sheer force of the wave immediately lift her up, her board only just ahead of the froth as it began to crest and break, and her feet made contact with the waxed surface. Every muscle in her core was tensed, her body hard and concentrated on this one moment as she felt the momentum begin to carry her and take over, doing the work for her. Her arms spread wide, her legs bent but steady as the wave toppled in on itself, her board nosing just ahead, riding its energy effortlessly.

  ‘Woohooooo!’

  The jubilant scream wasn’t hers – she couldn’t see whose; her focus was resolutely on the water just ahead of her – but she claimed it as her own anyway, the same rush of exhilaration gathering in her as she somehow stayed up, her body instinctively finding balance in small twists left and right – not dramatic, nothing as impressive as the swooping turns of the pros, but enough to keep her upright, to keep her going.

  A delighted laugh escaped her. She was doing it! She was actually surfing!

  ‘Oh my God!’ she screamed, her eyes wide with amazement and joy as she suddenly ‘got’ it. This was the rush everyone talked about it, the almost-spiritual transcendence that came from harnessing nature and riding its rhythm. How could she have come this far in her life and never experienced it? How could she have deprived herself of knowing this? It was the ultimate freedom . . .

  Wait, no . . . Too soon, the wave began to die, sinking down into itself like a collapsed soufflé, and the board began gently submerging as the energy it needed ran out, until she was neck deep in water again and her feet touched the sand.

  No! She wanted more! Longer, faster, higher . . . She wanted to do it all over again. One hit and already she was hooked.

  Luke sliced to a dramatic stop beside her, a giant rainbow of droplets showering outwards like fireworks in the sky. His overwhelmed expression matched hers as he gathered her in a tight hug.

  ‘I did it!’ she laughed incredulously, as she pulled back, her mouth open as wide as her eyes. ‘I actually did it!’

  ‘You did it, Cass,’ he laughed, his eyes dancing with happiness.

  ‘Well, strictly speaking, we did it,’ she laughed, aware of the role he’d played in her success, aware suddenly she was still in his arms. ‘I needed your prompt to get it right.’

  His expression changed. ‘We did it, then,’ he echoed, his voice so low she could feel the bass rumble from his chest against hers, his eyes o
n her lips, droplets falling from his face onto her cheeks.

  He looked back at her and her smile faded as she realized she was trembling – but not because of the cold. She saw the truth in his eyes, heard the echo of Suzy’s words – ‘It isn’t over ...’ – and she knew the wave had broken over them at last.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ‘Come and get it!’ Archie called, almost entirely enveloped in smoke as the wind changed direction yet again and the smell of burnt sausages drifted over to the cows.

  Cassie, who was lying upstairs in the bath, winced at the prospect of having to go out there. Yet again, she’d been hiding away, escaping to her room the moment she’d got back and pleading chills from the sea. But she couldn’t stay in here forever, appealing though it was.

  The others were already on the terrace by the time she appeared fifteen minutes later, her hair towel-dried and wearing her favourite tracksuit bottoms.

  It was almost ten o’clock and the temperature had dropped sharply, although a large fire pit was saving them from the worst of the night coolness for now and throwing a flattering, flickering light over everyone’s beach-tight skin. Cassie automatically stood in front of it, holding her hands up to be warmed.

  ‘Not still cold, are you? Here, I had to save you one,’ Archie said, handing her a hot dog with a wink. ‘Bunch of gannets, the lot of them. Even I can’t eat that quickly.’

  ‘Hey, some of us have earned this meal. We worked up an appetite,’ Laird protested, taking a huge bite of his own hot dog, a bottle of beer in his other hand. ‘Isn’t that right, Luke?’

  Luke, who was standing on the other side of the vast fire pit, staring outright at her as flames leaped between them, nodded. ‘Yeah.’

  She looked away quickly. She had heard his voice outside her window as he chatted to the guys – coming over early to help – for well over an hour and she knew he’d been waiting for her to show. She knew that, now, with absolute certainty.

  ‘Where’s Suzy?’ she asked, taking a bite of the hot dog, ketchup splattering over her white T-shirt. ‘Oh great, first bite,’ she muttered, as Archie laughingly ran over with a tea towel and began dabbing at her chest, something Cassie had seen him do endless times with Velvet.