‘I meant…’ Cort hesitated, ‘I meant you and me…’ He tried to change what he’d said, but only made matters worse. ‘Us,’ he attempted, and Ruby smiled.
‘As I said…’ She looked at his tie which was grey in the darkness, but which she knew was really a lovely lilac, and she did what she had wanted to do in the suture room—she put her hand up and felt the cool silk. She wanted him to go with her, wanted a little more of the peace she had found with him today. ‘I think it’s a very good idea.’
Cort wanted to go with her too, though not necessarily to the beach.
He didn’t do this type of thing.
He didn’t find himself at student nurse parties, neither did he find himself in situations such as this one because he didn’t put himself there.
He liked it now that he was, though.
Liked it a lot because the next thing he knew he was kissing her.
It was the nicest thing. It really was a lovely kiss. He sort of bent down and caught her, not completely by surprise because she’d felt his presence all night, or had it been before that? Ruby thought as his mouth roamed hers.
She’d never kissed anyone in a suit.
Never kissed anyone as lovely before, come to think of it.
She couldn’t hear the music from the house now, wasn’t aware of anything except the lovely circle his arms created around them and what was happening in the centre. He had a hand on the wall and one in her hair over her neck, and his kiss was measured and deep like its owner, but as his tongue met hers, as she tasted his breath, there was more passion in his kiss than she’d ever anticipated, more passion than she’d ever tasted, and that it came from Cort made it all the more wild, like a secret only she was privy to. He pulled her head closer just a fraction and his mouth welcomed her a whole lot more and Ruby wanted to climb up his chest to wrap herself around him. She wanted his tie off, she wanted his shirt off, she wanted the party to disappear…she wanted more.
He pulled back just a fraction, and if their mouths weren’t touching any more, they still thrummed. He looked down, not at a student nurse and a whole set of problems but into velvet-brown eyes and felt rare intimacy. It wasn’t just lust or a sudden urge. It was, quite simply, just nice to feel, and he hadn’t felt anything for so very long now—yet he was able to with her.
‘Do you want a nut?’ He could taste her words, could feel them because as she spoke her lips dusted his.
And in turn Ruby felt rather than saw him smile, felt his lips spread, and, yes, she would kiss them again in a moment, just not here. He was like her beloved pistachios, she decided, all brittle and hard but so readily cracked and such a reward to get to the delicious centre.
Cort was used to making rapid decisions—it was what he did for a living after all—but always his decisions were measured, tempered by outcomes and responsibilities. They just weren’t tonight.
‘I want you,’ Cort said.
Which he did.
It was as simple as that.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHE went in first and checked that the coast was clear. It was, well, sort of. There was a couple necking in the hall, but the rest were all gathered in the lounge room, so she waved him in and up the stairs and they bolted along the hall.
‘Won’t they all come up?’ Cort asked as they stepped into her bedroom. ‘To see how you are?’
‘No,’ Ruby said, and grabbed a scarf and tied it onto the handle. ‘That means don’t disturb…’
He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to see her, but as his hand groped for the light switch she stopped him.
‘Don’t,’ Ruby said. ‘Don’t break it.’
‘Break what?’
‘Just…whatever it is that we’ve got.’
He stood a touch unsure as she lit a candle in the corner and then another and another till the room was bathed in dancing fingers of orange and white. Then she hauled over a chair and, just to be sure, wedged it against the door handle.
It was a room called Ruby. There were drapes, curtains, cushions, candles and crystals, all things that usually did not interest him.
There was the beat of the music and noises from downstairs and he was too old, too jaded, too bitter for someone so light and so lovely, but she’d been crying, he reminded himself as she turned to him.
He was going to leave, Ruby knew that. He was going to change his mind, but he could change it in the morning, because she wanted him tonight.
She wanted him in a way she had never wanted someone before. It was an imperative, a knowledge that this was their only chance, and she was incredibly bold in a way she wasn’t usually. She took him by the hand and to a bed that was really rather small. She felt his hesitation and tension and she wanted it gone so she kissed him, and in that moment she welcomed him back in an instant, because out went trouble as he kissed her onto the bed and they tumbled into paradise.
Tongues and taste and the lovely wedge of his body blew cares away as he lay sort of over and beside her—backed into a corner in possibly the nicest of ways. She could feel the belt of his suit against her stomach, feel the roaming of his hands over her waist then sliding to her bottom then almost apologetically heading back to her waist. She could feel him holding back when he didn’t want to.
When she didn’t want him to.
She kissed his chin and up his cheek, moved his hand back to her bottom and heard the sigh of his breath, and she pressed just a little into him and kissed his eyes and his ears, and it was like tripping a switch, because suddenly he was on top of her, his mouth hungry and urgent. He kissed her throat and then up to her mouth and her body pressed into him some more, and then she could climb up and wrap herself around him as she had wanted to before, but she pulled back his head, wanted to see him again, to hear him again, before she kissed him again.
‘Why,’ she whispered, ‘are you always so crabby?’
‘Because I’m miserable?’ He stopped and smiled down at her.
‘But you’re not.’
‘I am,’ he insisted. ‘I really am.’
‘You’re not tonight,’ Ruby said, and he had to agree with her.
‘No. I’m not tonight.’
He wanted her skirt off, wanted to see her as she had been when he’d walked into the house, but it would seem Ruby had rules.
‘I’m not making love to a man in a suit—in a brown suit.’
‘Taupe.’ Cort smiled, not even a little smile but a full, wide smile that she had never before seen, and Ruby caught her breath because it completely changed him. She went for his tie, then changed her mind.
‘You do it,’ she said.
She wriggled from under him and climbed off the bed and left him lying there. She looked down at him and he undid his tie, but that was as far as he went.
‘You want it off…’ Cort said. ‘Come and get it.’ So she did, pulling it off before she went for his jacket next.
‘Shoes,’ he said, and she took off one. ‘Both of them.’
‘You’ve got more clothes than me.’
Wasn’t he supposed to be riddled with guilt, or aching with regret? Not sitting up just to get her to remove another sandal, which she did.
‘Shirt,’ Ruby said, and he obliged.
‘Skirt,’ Cort said, and so too did she.
She wanted to go over to the bed and climb onto him, she couldn’t have ever guessed just how wanton she could be, but he rewarded her not with this game but with his smile, with a Cort Mason she would never have guessed was there beneath the austere exterior. She liked standing before him, drunk on lust and shivering with want, teasing each other and making each other wait.
‘Belt,’ said Ruby.
‘Hardly fair on you,’ Cort said, because she was down to her halter and panties and he still had socks and shoes and trousers and belt, but Ruby didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she stopped him when he magnanimously went to undo his zipper.
‘Just the belt will do,’ Ruby said, and as with his tie he merely loosen
ed it.
‘Take it off, then.’
Which meant she got to touch him. Slowly, very slowly she pulled loose the belt and she wanted to dive onto him then, but Cort reminded her it was her turn. She slid her top up slowly and she had to close her eyes at one point because, so close to him, she wanted to bend towards his mouth, wanted to climb into bed and be with him, but instead she took off her top and it was bizarre but she didn’t feel shy or stupid. Instead, with Cort she felt free.
She stared down and saw the lust and approval in the eyes that caressed her skin. Then she stared down at herself and saw two very small breasts that she now rather liked, because how could she not when Cort craved them so much that he reached out his hand and stroked one slowly, till she blew out a held breath and thought she’d sink to her knees.
‘I’ll help with your shoes.’
She bent over him and as he stroked her breast she took off his shoes and socks, and then she kissed his toes.
And he lay there about to pull away because how could he let her? Except her tongue was so sure.
Would he regret this?
He asked himself once as she stood again and then he answered, never, because this wasn’t sad or guilt ridden. There was no one else in his head but Ruby, nothing else but him and her.
He could never have thought it would be so magical.
That it could ever be so pure and good again.
That they would have their own rules and their own ways.
He watched her kneel and rummage in a drawer and come out with pistachios.
‘Trousers,’ Ruby said.
‘It’s your turn.’
‘Only if you catch this with your mouth.’
She was mad, he decided as he lay in the bed, trying to catch a pistachio. Then he didn’t want to play that game, so he stood and Ruby stood maybe just a little bit embarrassed because she had never been so free before, never felt so able to be herself with another person. He was so, so slow and tender as he knelt down and slid down her pants. She squirmed just a little, but then he stroked the little hairs and he blew onto her and then she felt his lips press there and she thought her knees might give way.
She held onto his head, her thighs closed tight and shaking as his tongue slid in. His hands pushed at her bottom and his mouth worked to part her some more and she could hear a moan and it came from her.
He laid her down and parted her knees and it was so close to heaven that she felt like crying. All the tears that weren’t ever allowed to fall seemed to whoosh up as his mouth found her.
It was as if he’d found her.
The real Ruby, who she couldn’t be, who he mustn’t see, because then he’d leave. She stopped him, rolled a little way and found a condom, which was just as well, Cort thought, because it had been a long time since he’d carried any on him.
He slid the condom on even though he didn’t want it.
Didn’t want a one-night stand, though this surely was what it was.
And he wanted to get back what he’d had a moment ago. He had felt her collapse beneath his mouth, had felt her about to give in, but then she’d regrouped and held back. He would have it, Cort decided, he would find her again.
She wanted him. She wanted him as he kissed her, she wanted all of him, and as his thick thigh parted her legs there was nothing more she wanted than him inside her.
Nothing else surrounded them now, no one else present, no chance of interruption, and he was so deep inside her now, and she wanted him to come so that she could too.
Just a little bit.
She didn’t want the tears that had been close, and perhaps still were, to impinge on this moment; she didn’t want to give in completely.
She pushed up a little, her clitoris swollen from his attention, and pressed in harder, and she felt the pulse of her body that would signal him to join her.
‘Cort.’ She said his name, and lifted her body to his, because she wanted him with her, but still he pushed on.
‘Cort.’ She heard the demand in her voice, because she was coming and now so could he and it would be done, but still his arms were not beneath her, he was on his elbows and looking down at her.
‘Come on,’ he said as if he knew there was more. ‘It’s okay,’ he said as if he knew that this scared her.
Not him.
This.
Because sex was okay and all that had gone on beforehand too.
But this, lying naked beneath him, eyes open and watching, and him knowing there was more to give.
She wanted a one-night stand, not for him to know her. She wanted him to climb off and get dressed and be out of there.
She wanted chocolate or pizza, not to expose her soul.
She didn’t want to cry, but all evening it had been building.
She could feel her tears and then his tongue, feel the sob in her mouth and then his over hers, and he didn’t stifle it, he took it, kissed it, accepted it, and he was so deep inside her, not just her body but her mind.
‘Help me.’ She didn’t know what she was saying, but he seemed to get it. He smothered her with his body, just scooped her right in and she pressed her face to his lovely hot chest and screamed into it, like a pillow. She clutched at his back and wrapped her legs around him, feeling the jolt of her body, and it was more than she could deal with so she let him absorb all the tension as it shot through her, let his body smother her as he released too.
Oh, God, she was crying, she really was crying, but he didn’t seem to mind.
She was spent and it was over, but she didn’t want it to be. She could feel the last throes of him and inside her still flickered a tiny, magical beat.
They could hear the party and the music and the voices coming back into their consciousness, could feel control seeping in where there had just been none, and she felt as if she’d been on holiday and had now returned, her world the same as when she had left it but richer for the experience, for the glimpse into another world. One she could surely never belong in.
‘You’re going to hate yourself in the morning,’ Ruby said, but he just smiled.
‘Probably,’ Cort said. ‘But not you.’ It seemed imperative that she know that and she nodded.
‘No regrets, then,’ Ruby said, because they both knew it was impossible for it to be anything more than this.
‘None,’ Cort said. All the candles had died now and the room was in darkness as he lay on his back with her curled up beside him and tried to find a hint of regret, but right now there was none.
They slept with the window open, because Ruby loved to fall asleep to the sound of the ocean, but the slam of the front door and the sound of the last revellers leaving woke her in the small hours and for a moment she struggled to orientate herself. She looked at a sky that was all stars and hardly any moon and remembered she had to go back into work tomorrow, panicked more than a little as she recalled all that Sheila had said, and then Cort pulled her more into him. He mumbled something, that it would all be okay, and she closed her eyes and let her mind agree.
It had to be okay, Ruby told herself.
It had to be.
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS Ruby who woke with regret.
Well, not regret so much, she thought as she wrapped herself in a green and gold sarong and headed downstairs. More embarrassment. She’d never let herself go like that—never been so free with another. Deciding she needed more than herbal tea this morning, Ruby made two coffees and involuntarily recalled her impromptu striptease and nut-throwing act and she closed her eyes for a moment. She remembered she’d been crying, but closing your eyes while holding a kettle wasn’t the most sensible of moves, and she poured scalding water onto the bench.
‘Are you okay?’ Tilly asked as Ruby yelped and jumped back.
‘Of course,’ Ruby said, but her face was burning, not because there was a man in her room but because of how she’d been with him last night.
‘Is that the A and E registrar you’re making coffee for?�
�� Tilly asked as Ruby headed to her own little fridge for milk. ‘Maybe he’d like normal milk?’ Tilly suggested, and Ruby gave a worried nod and headed to the main fridge because, yes, most people didn’t drink rice milk. ‘So is it?’ Tilly grinned as Ruby added milk to the coffees.
‘Can’t you just pretend not to have noticed?’ Ruby glanced over her shoulder and looked at her friend. ‘Did anyone see us?’
‘No one said anything. I don’t think anyone saw, I was just keeping an eye out because I was worried about you—you seemed a bit off at the pub.’
‘Was I drunk?’ Ruby asked hopefully, because then she’d have an excuse for her tears and her stupidity. She closed her eyes in horror as she remembered flinging nuts and swore never to eat another pistachio again.
‘Were you?’ Tilly asked. ‘You seemed fine to me. Did you have a lot?’
‘Two beers.’ Ruby sighed.
‘What’s the problem?’ Tilly asked, because she’d never seen Ruby like this. Ruby was always happy-go-lucky, but the smile seemed a bit more strained these days, and though it was hardly a nunnery they were running, Ruby really wasn’t one for hauling guys off to her room.
‘What was I thinking?’ Ruby muttered. ‘I’ve got to work with him. I’m in enough trouble there as it is.’
‘Trouble?’ Tilly checked as Jess wandered in.
‘Not trouble.’ Quickly she tried to backtrack. ‘I had my assessment yesterday and Sheila doesn’t seem to think I’m pulling my weight.’
‘You—not pulling your weight?’ Jess asked, her voice more than a little incredulous, because that sounded nothing like Ruby. They’d worked together last year on the children’s ward, and Jess knew that couldn’t be right. ‘What exactly did she say?’
‘It’s no big deal.’ Ruby waved Jess’s concerns away. ‘I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve just got to get rid of the registrar in my bed.’ And she did as she always did, made herself smile, even made the others laugh as she rolled her eyes and picked up the mugs of coffee. ‘Wish me luck.’
Cort wasn’t faring too well either.
Cort Mason - Dr. Delectable Page 4
