‘And you?’ Cort asked, not for ego but he was curious. Had the attraction that had hit been as instant for her?
‘I thought you were good looking,’ Ruby breathed. ‘I guess I didn’t think further. You were just…’ And she looked at him and told him exactly what he was. ‘Gorgeous.’
‘We have to be careful,’ Cort said, ‘till you’re done.’
And the warmness that spread through her turned to fire as she realised what he was saying.
‘I shouldn’t have picked you up today, but I was worried about you,’ Cort admitted. ‘I thought you hadn’t shown up for your nights. You told me you were on nights on Monday.’
‘Sheila changed them,’ Ruby explained again. ‘I have to do three, and she suggested I do them with her. I’m on tomorrow.’ He could hear the dread in her voice even though she tried to veil it, and he didn’t really understand. There were so many things he loathed. Every step he had walked along the corridor in Beth’s nursing home he had dreaded and her funeral hadn’t exactly been something he’d looked forward to, but he’d just put one foot in front of the other and got on with it. It had never entered his head to walk away.
‘You’re going to be fine. I’ll be at work, though I’ll have to—’
‘I know, I know,’ Ruby interrupted. ‘You’ll just ignore me like you ignore everyone.’
‘I don’t.’
Ruby just shrugged.
‘And I won’t come to the house…’
‘They really wouldn’t say anything.’
‘It’s a few nights, Ruby.’ Which sounded easy, except he’d driven around looking for her when he shouldn’t have and even a few nights seemed impossible from here. ‘Once it’s over…’ He left the rest to her imagination and, boy, did it soar.
She had been scared to even glimpse at a future, hadn’t thought that her blissful night with this incredible man could be anything other than a cherished memory. That a man like Cort might really want to get to know her more.
That, as brilliant as it was, it wasn’t just sex.
‘You’ll get through these nights.’ He saw her eyes briefly shutter, knew there was so much more going on behind that smile. ‘Ruby…’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Maybe it was better left, Cort decided. Maybe by talking about it, he would build it up to something bigger than it was for her.
‘Can I have a tour?’ Quickly she changed the subject.
‘I’ve just got to ring work.’
‘You just left there.’
‘I said I’d check back.’ Which was true, but even though there was no real need to take the call in the bedroom, he did so.
There was only one photo of Beth.
And even that made him feel guilty—that the one he kept was one taken before the accident. He hated the Christmas and birthday photos that the staff had taken of what had been left of his wife afterwards and the guilt that came that he loved the woman she had been.
He chatted to his boss, made sure his messages had been relayed and put the Beth of yesteryear into a drawer for now, because it wasn’t the time to share it with Ruby. He wondered how it was even possible that somehow his heart was actually moving on.
Then he turned and he didn’t have to wonder how he was moving on because somehow, so easily, Ruby made it possible.
‘That is not taupe,’ she said of his bedspread when he turned off his phone. ‘That’s completely brown.’
‘We’ll go shopping soon,’ Cort said, and the thought both thrilled and terrified—not sheets, or whatever, but that she was being asked into his life. Then he gave a slight grimace. ‘Actually, I might have to go shopping now…’
‘I’m on the Pill,’ Ruby said, and she looked at him, ‘which is something I’ve never said to anyone before…’
And he nodded, because he got it, got the enormity of what they were both saying, the confirmation they were home.
It was different here, in his bedroom, Ruby thought. More special, somehow, to be here in his home. There was no urgency, just purpose in their kiss. And there was no chance of regret tomorrow, because it was still daytime.
She could hear sirens whizzing past and traffic outside as he undressed her, and that it was afternoon mattered, because the world was going on, it was they two that very deliberately chose to stop.
There was no music or booze or party, just each other, and she wasn’t scared that the light might break the moment because naked before him the light let this be real.
It was bliss to climb into his bed and watch as he undressed and climbed in beside her. She heard his phone bleep and he checked it.
‘I’m going to hate that phone, aren’t I?’
‘You are,’ Cort promised.
‘Do you ever get to turn it off?’
‘Holidays…’ Cort started, and then changed his mind, because he wanted the future to be different, he wanted a part of him to be solely devoted to her. And Doug was there, Cort told himself, and Jamelia was there too, and the world could carry on without him, would just have to carry on without him sometimes. He reached over and turned it off, and it felt like a holiday, felt like freedom, felt like life as he let go of the reins and reached for her.
‘What would Sheila say?’ Ruby asked as he lay beside her and started kissing her.
‘I don’t want to think about it.’
‘And Siobhan?’ Ruby laughed.
And then she wasn’t joking any more, she was just next to him and he felt lovely, they felt lovely, in a great big bed with them at the centre and nothing to disturb their kiss except the bleep of her phone. She said a rude word in his mouth and happily chose to ignore it.
‘You’d better get it,’ Cort said.
‘I don’t get urgent calls,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m not important enough.’
‘You are to me,’ Cort said, and she got back to being kissed, got back to the passionate man that no one but her knew existed. She’d been told that you couldn’t faint lying down but that’s what his kiss made her feel like. She felt the dizzy sensation of removal as his tongue captured hers, she felt the world slide away as his body met hers, and wondered how she had got so lucky, how the place she hated so much could give her something so sublime.
‘You’re my new-moon wish,’ Ruby said as he kissed her, his hand stroking her slippery warmth. Her mouth moved to his neck and she kissed it, then deeper, as his hand worked on, and she tried to resist her body’s demands. She was mindful of him and lifted her head because she didn’t want to leave a mark, but his thigh hooked over her and still his fingers worked their magic and still she moved her mouth lower and kissed his taut shoulder and then let herself kiss deeper, sucked on his skin as he brought her so close, and then she worked her head down, kissed him as intimately as he had once kissed her, tasted every lovely inch of him till she breathed and blew on him and kissed him again, and told him her truth. ‘You got me through.’
‘I haven’t finished yet,’ Cort said, and then she heard his wry laugh, because if she didn’t stop now, he might rue his own words. ‘Come here,’ he said, and slid her up to face him. There were no sheets now, they had fallen somewhere on the floor, so side by side they kissed and then side by side they watched, no barriers, no protection, because they were already safe, and the moment of merging was overwhelming. Cort slid into her and her body shivered and tightened and wrapped right around him. He pushed deeper into her again then he stilled for a moment but she didn’t want that, because he couldn’t come soon enough for Ruby, so ready was her body to join his.
‘Come with me,’ she said.
‘Soon,’ Cort said, because he wanted to enjoy her longer, he wanted the impossible, because as he drove into her, Ruby’s hips moved towards him and then towards him again, and it was Ruby who couldn’t wait a moment longer. There was such passion in him, such a rare match of want, that she could let go and feel him, feel the friction they made and the taste of his skin, could drown in their scent and call out his name. She felt th
e rip of tension run through him, felt the shudder of his release and the lovely spill of him inside her, and the absence of fear and the amazing knowledge that she could do anything if this was her reward at the end of each day.
‘You’re bad for me.’ Cort grinned.
‘You’re so good for me?’ Ruby smiled. ‘Can I tell you something?’
‘Anything,’ Cort said.
‘I’m starving,’ Ruby admitted. ‘I only had a salad at the canteen—I didn’t want to freak my patient out.’
‘What did she have in the end?’ Cort asked, because, amazingly he was curious.
‘A jacket potato.’
‘I don’t know how you do it.’
‘That was an easy one,’ Ruby said. ‘Believe me!’
‘I do—and I’m starving too,’ Cort admitted. ‘A certain someone put me off my sandwich…’ He did a quick mental run of what was in the kitchen. ‘I can ring out for something. I don’t think I’ve got anything…er…suitable.’
Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘We don’t just eat vegetables.’ She climbed out of bed and headed off to the kitchen. By the time he got there, she was already flinging open his cupboards and raiding his rather pathetic fridge contents. ‘It’s like when you’re on a plane and order vegetarian—we get a stupid apple for dessert and everyone else gets chocolate pudding. Why?’ she demanded.
‘I have no idea.’
Cort had never considered having anyone back at the flat, let alone the possibility of someone moving in, but now she was here, he wondered how he could stand her to leave.
She was colour.
A lively, vivid colour that was neither blinding nor irritating, but just by her presence she brightened the place. The television was on, not on the news as it normally would be early evening, but she’d commandeered the remote and had flicked to a soap Cort hadn’t seen in more than a decade.
‘He forgave her!’ Ruby was disgusted. ‘I can’t believe he forgave her.’
‘Again!’ Cort said, eating beans on toast on the sofa and amazed that even after a decade it was so easy to catch up. ‘She was at it last time I watched.’
What was it with Ruby? Cort tried to fathom. It couldn’t just be sex, Cort reasoned, even though beneath his towel, things were stirring again—what was it with her that made him want to dive right back into living?
He needed to tell her about Beth.
Cort knew that and sat there wondering what her reaction would be, but she was laughing and she hadn’t done that for ages, relaxed for once, which she needed to be.
‘Once your nights are finished,’ Cort said, ‘if it’s okay with you, maybe we could go away for a couple of days…’ Away from here, he decided. Away from a photo she’d demand instantly to see. To a place that was neither his nor hers—where they could talk properly, and if she was upset, they could work through it. The last thing he wanted was to trouble her now.
Her phone bleeped and, checking her messages, Ruby saw that there had been a couple.
Should I be worried?
‘Oh.’ Ruby winced. ‘It’s Tilly. I texted her about…’ she glanced at her watch ‘…oh, a few hours or so ago to tell her to put the kettle on.’ She texted back a quick message.
‘What did you say?’
‘Just that I was fine, and sorry.’ She could read his expression. ‘They wouldn’t say anything. I know you might find it impossible to believe…’
‘Not impossible,’ Cort said, and realised he’d be wasting his time telling her not to say anything about them. Clearly she trusted them, but reluctantly he stood. ‘Come on, I’ll take you home.’
‘Now?’ Ruby grumbled.
‘Now,’ Cort said, or he’d take her back to bed and then they’d both fall asleep and they’d have all her housemates to answer to. ‘Let’s just get through the next week—ignoring each other.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘TELL me again!’ Ellie said.
‘I’ve told you four times.’ Ruby laughed. Jess and Ellie were home when she tumbled into the house, though Tilly, who was working that night, had left early to help with an antenatal class. ‘Once I’m finished in Emergency, once I’ve got through nights, well, it’s not written in stone, but I think we’ll be more open, able to show our faces together in public. I don’t know…’ she admitted, because at the time it had seemed obvious what the other was saying—that once they’d got through this bit, they had a future, but under the scrutiny of her friends, she wondered if she was clutching at straws, and she certainly wasn’t about to discuss the absence of condoms.
So she played it down instead, toned it down, tried to calm things down in her heart, and after a good gossip she wished her friends goodnight and headed for bed. Except despite a tired body her mind wouldn’t quieten down and Ruby found herself staring out of the window, knowing she had work tomorrow and wishing she could sleep. She eventually did, but only for a little while, she was quite sure of it, when at eight a.m. she staggered into the kitchen.
‘What are you doing up?’ Tilly was nursing a huge mug of tea. ‘I thought you’d have a lie-in.’
‘I heard the kettle.’ Ruby smiled. ‘I’m going back to bed soon.’
‘So where did you get to yesterday?’ Tilly asked, and Ruby told her, well, some of it, but even though she sounded upbeat and happy she could see the worry in her friend’s eyes.
‘You haven’t known him very long,’ Tilly gently pointed out.
‘I know.’ Ruby ran a hand through her hair and tried to apply logic to a heart that had made up its mind. ‘I’m not doing an Ellie—I’m not convincing myself this is “the one”. I just can’t believe how he makes me feel and I know he feels the same.’ She could see Tilly wasn’t completely mollified. ‘What?’ Ruby demanded, because she could do that with her best friend. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘Nothing.’ Tilly was honest. ‘I don’t know a single thing about him. I remember him when I did my emergency rotation and I don’t think I said two words to him in the time I was there. He was just “Call Paeds. Organise a social worker…”’
‘He’s actually not like that at all,’ Ruby said, ‘once you know him.’
‘Good,’ Tilly said, and she would never meddle, but she was concerned about Ruby, knew she was struggling at work and knew that her friend didn’t give her heart away easily.
‘Oh, I got your payslip…you said you were worried…’
Ruby peeled it open and groaned as she scanned the little slip.
‘I knew they’d paid me too much. I was hoping it was back pay or something.’ But instead they’d put her down as working on a night that her shift had been cancelled. ‘I’ll ring them later,’ Ruby said. ‘Right now I’m going back to bed.’ But she still couldn’t sleep. Tilly’s unvoiced concern had her thinking—what did she know about him? She knew that he had family in Melbourne, that he had worked with her brother, there hadn’t exactly been time to take a history. Still, as the morning stretched on, and sleep remained elusive, and as a couple of hundred dollars extra in her bank account niggled, a walk into work to clear her conscience seemed like a good idea. Though she’d held little hope of bumping into Cort, as the lift doors opened on the admin floor and she saw him standing there, it was certainly an added bonus.
‘Hi.’ She smiled and he remembered Sheila’s warning.
‘Hi.’ He stepped aside to let her out, as was the polite thing to do, but Ruby just stood there, temptation beckoning, and he stepped into the lift. ‘Shouldn’t you be in bed?’
‘I wish I was.’
So did Cort. He glanced to the lift panel, wished he knew how to stop the lift, but one push of the button and he’d no doubt get it wrong and they’d come up for air, to find half of security gathered and watching.
‘You okay?’ Cort checked, and she nodded, but then she changed her mind.
‘Cort…’ She wanted quiet for her mind, she wanted the assurance only he gave, she wanted supper at his place and the quiet confidence he imbued
in her. Maybe if he came for dinner, or she went there… ‘Can we…?’ But she didn’t get to ask. The busy lift was soon in demand and instead she stepped out. But, still, she was all the better for seeing him, because when he was there, there was no doubt in her mind that they would work.
‘I think I’ve been overpaid.’ Still high from seeing him, Ruby spoke to one of the girls at the pay office.
‘People don’t normally complain about that. Let’s have a look.’ The woman whose name badge said ‘Ruth’ took Ruby’s slip and read through it.
‘I didn’t work that Saturday,’ Ruby explained. ‘I was down to work, but my shift got cancelled. You have to take it off me today…’ Ruby smiled ‘…or I’ll spend it.’
It was one of those messy problems. Ruby had signed her time sheet apparently, which she hadn’t, of course, and Ruby accepted Ruth’s offer to take a seat while she located the time sheet to see what had happened.
‘Marie?’ Ruth called to a colleague. ‘Can you take a look at this?’
‘One moment,’ came the response as Ruby sat reading through a pamphlet on superannuation and not really listening as the women chatted on.
‘So what part is annual leave?’
‘He had five weeks of annual leave owing,’ Ruth said, ‘then ten days’ paid carer’s leave, plus two days paid compassionate from the date his wife died.’
‘Do we need to see the death certificate?’
‘That’s what he just brought in,’ Ruth said. ‘I’ve taken a copy.’
They never said his name, and had she not seen him in the lift she would never have known. Even sitting there, Ruby couldn’t be absolutely sure.
She just was.
This was the family stuff he had been dealing with.
His wife had just died and he’d been in bed with her.
‘I have to go.’ Ruby stood.
‘I’ve just found your timesheet,’ Ruth said. Ruby wanted to run, but she was trying not to do that any more, so she waited and it was worked out that someone had used her sheet but signed their name and that it would be amended at the next pay cycle. She smiled and thanked them and then she left. Finally free, she didn’t take the bus but walked down the hill to her house. There was Mrs Bennett in her garden and she smiled and waved as Ruby went past and Ruby somehow managed to smile and wave back, but she couldn’t even force a smile as she saw Tilly on the stairs.
Cort Mason - Dr. Delectable Page 9