‘Hi, there!’ Cort deliberately didn’t react when it was Tilly who walked towards them and was also quietly grateful that she introduced herself as if they had never met. ‘I’m Matilda. Tilly. We’re incredibly busy in Maternity at the moment, so they asked me to dash down and see if I could help.’
‘She’s through there,’ Cort said, and told her a little of his findings, adding, ‘Though I haven’t done an internal yet.’
‘I’ll come in with you,’ Hannah said.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Tilly politely declined.
She was very calm and unruffled and thanked both Cort and Hannah then disappeared into the cubicle as Hannah sat brooding at the nurses’ station, staring at the curtains like a cat put out in a storm. ‘If we say we need help,’ Hannah said, ‘surely they should send—’
‘They’re busy,’ Cort interrupted. ‘And I guess they figured the patient can’t come to much harm as there are doctors and nurses here.’ He would normally have left it there, but Ruby must still be in the air for him, because he looked over and continued the conversation with Hannah. ‘Have you thought about doing midwifery?’
‘Me?’ Hannah scoffed, then rolled her eyes and added a little sheepishly, ‘Every day for the last six months or so. I’m just not sure it’s worth trying—I’m nearly fifty. I’ve been in Emergency for ever.’
‘Maybe if you’re nicer to Tilly you could see if you could spend a few hours up there. It might help you make up your mind.’ He looked over as Tilly came towards them.
‘She’s fine.’ Tilly smiled. ‘Still a while to go, I think. I’ll take her up to Maternity—how do I arrange a porter?’
‘The porters are just having a coffee. I’ll take her up with you if you like,’ Hannah offered. ‘I’ll just go and grab my cardigan.’
And there was a moment, just a moment where he could have asked Tilly why Ruby hadn’t come in—to check if she was okay or had, in fact, just not shown up. A moment to acknowledge Tilly and to step down from the safe higher ground of Senior Reg and just talk as you would to someone you knew casually, who was a friend of someone you cared about.
He chose not to take it.
Hannah returned with her cardigan and a marked shift in attitude towards the grad midwife and Cort pushed through the morning, but it all felt wrong. The busy department felt strangely quiet without that blaze of red to silently ponder, and at lunchtime, unable to face the staffroom, Cort headed up to the canteen.
‘It’s good to get away from there, even for a little while.’ Sheila joined him in the canteen queue and Cort gave her a smile, though his own company was really all that he wanted. It had been a long night, followed by a very long morning.
‘I thought you were on nights this week.’
‘I’m supposed to be in for a management day,’ Sheila said as they shuffled down the queue and rather dispiritedly checked out the food on offer. ‘Which is a bit of a joke—I haven’t even seen my office.’
The queue slowed down and Cort yawned and asked for another shot to be added to his coffee. Instead of the chicken salad he was half considering, or the cream-cheese bagel that was curling at the edges, he decided to push his luck with the canteen lady.
‘Can I have a bacon sandwich?’
‘Then they’ll all want one,’ she said, because most of the meals were wrapped in plastic and pre-made now, except on very rare occasions.
‘He’s been here eighteen hours straight.’ Sheila put in a word for him and as Cort turned to thank her, a normal day, a normal shuffle along the queue in the canteen suddenly somehow brightened.
She was like a butterfly.
Swooping in on a gloomy canteen, which was wall to wall navy and white uniforms and dark green scrubs or sensible suits, Ruby gave it colour.
Her hair was down and she was wearing denim shorts that showed slim, pale legs and a sort of mesh shirt that was reds and golds and swirls of white, and she had on leather strappy sandals and was just so light and breezy that apart from the lanyard round her neck and the anxious-looking woman by her side, you’d never have known she was working.
The queue passed him as he stood waiting for his order and he listened as she stood and helped her patient with her food selection, encouraging her and gently suggesting alternatives, and she made him notice things that he never had before. Like how kind the staff were with the patient, and how other staff behind in the queue didn’t huff and puff and moan about how long she was taking, but with a nod from the cashier moved subtly past.
He saw Ruby’s calm presence, and he saw something else too—that just as she felt she couldn’t do Emergency, couldn’t stand what he did, he realised that he couldn’t readily do her job either. He could not stand with endless patience as the woman struggled with a seemingly simple decision, pasta or potato salad, but, Cort knew, what a vital job it was.
‘Maybe rice?’ the patient said, and Cort felt his jaw clench, but Ruby just nodded.
‘That sounds good.’
And Ruby waited and waited for her patient’s decision, except she didn’t seem to be waiting, just pausing, and Cort found himself wanting to know what the woman would choose, to prod her in the back and say, ‘Just have the rice, for God’s sake.’ Because, yes, there were some jobs that not everyone could do.
‘Here we are, Cort.’ The largest bacon sandwich ever came over the counter and for the first time since he’d been a teenager, Cort thought he might blush as he took the plate, headed over to Sheila and sat down.
‘I’ve had a word with some of the staff,’ Sheila said, because it was easier to talk away from the ward. ‘As you know, I’m going to do a stint on nights and see how it’s all going on there.’
Cort took a sip of his coffee and nodded.
‘How’s Jamelia?’
‘She’s doing better,’ Cort admitted, though his eyes kept wandering to where Ruby was warming her patient’s meal in the microwave. ‘She just needs someone to shadow her and I’ve spoken with Doug about it—we’ll get there,’ he said, because they would.
‘I’ve got a good team, Cort,’ Sheila said. ‘I know they can go a bit far at times, but they have to deal with a lot.’
‘I’m aware of that.’ He was more than aware of that.
‘We just need to remember we are a team,’ Sheila said. ‘And that sometimes we struggle. All of us do, Cort.’ He glanced up at her, because for a moment there he thought she was referring to him. ‘It’s good to hear you went out last week.’
Cort rolled his eyes and took a large bite of his sandwich.
‘It really is,’ Sheila said. ‘You want teamwork, Cort, well, you have to be a part of it.’
And his eyes roamed the canteen as he went to take another bite and then he saw where she was sitting and Ruby looked over at him and somehow the sandwich didn’t taste quite so nice. Part of him wanted to take another bite, a really big one, but instead he put the sandwich down and then he was rewarded with a very private smile, and that did it. He would go there tonight, Cort decided.
He would go over, because he knew that she was struggling and he didn’t know if she’d told her friends, and, he admitted to himself, if he was going to be there at any point in the future, then he ought to be there for her now.
‘Not hungry?’ Sheila frowned at his discarded sandwich.
‘Not as much as I thought I was.’
‘Is that Ruby?’ Sheila asked, knowing full well that it was. ‘Doing an agency shift?’
Cort said nothing, just as he usually would.
‘She finishes soon,’ Sheila said, which she never usually would either. ‘I’m having a lot of trouble getting that one through.’ She picked up the untouched half of Cort’s sandwich and took a bite. ‘She’s like Lila…’
‘Your daughter?’
‘Both vegetarians, both live on another planet.’
Cort drained his coffee and still said nothing, but for the second time in fifteen minutes or so he was blushing.
‘I still do
n’t know if she’ll turn up for her shift. What is it with these girls? My daughter just dropped out of maths—two years of study gone, just like that.’
‘Sheila,’ Cort asked, ‘what if your pager went and they asked you to go and work on Ophthalmology?’
‘They wouldn’t.’ Sheila flushed, because she could not stand eyes—they were her thing, the one thing she ran from—she didn’t even like putting in eyedrops.
‘If they did, though?’ Cort said. ‘If they told you that you had to spend six weeks there—and in the ophthalmic theatre too.’
‘I’d say no,’ Sheila said. ‘Because I’m allowed to. Emergency is an essential part of her course. Anyway…’ Sheila met him with a firm gaze ‘…let’s hope she turns up and that we can keep things uneventful for her.’ And that was all she did say, but he took the warning, because in three years he’d never so much as looked at anyone and, yep, Emergency could be a horrible place to work at times and he didn’t want any more of the spotlight falling on Ruby.
‘Cort?’ Sheila checked, and he nodded. Nothing more was said, but both fully understood.
As he headed back to work, deliberately he avoided Ruby’s table, and deliberately he didn’t glance back.
It hurt not to be acknowledged, though Ruby did her best not to let it show, just concentrated on her patient, the aim to keep things light and uneventful, because Louise hated eating in public.
‘Can we go now?’ Louise said, for perhaps the fiftieth time.
‘Soon,’ Ruby said, gently but firmly, deliberately eating her salad as slowly as she could. ‘I want to finish my lunch, I won’t get another break.’ Though as Sheila walked directly towards them, Ruby was rather tempted to take the easy option and tell Louise they were heading back to the unit.
‘Hi, there, Ruby.’ She gave a brief smile to Louise too.
‘Hi, Sheila.’ Ruby wasn’t too embarrassed to be seen working. As a third-year student, she was able to practise as a division-two nurse and a lot of the students crammed in as many shifts as they could. Still, it was just a little awkward given she was due to be on night shift tomorrow.
‘Are you doing some agency?’
‘Hospital bank.’ Ruby gave a sweet smile and then pointedly turned her attention back to her patient. When Sheila continued to hover, Ruby extended the conversation a touch. ‘It’s my last one for this week.’
‘Good,’ Sheila said, ‘because you’ll need all your wits about you for night duty. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Looking forward to it,’ Ruby said as Sheila finally left.
‘Who was that?’ Louise asked.
‘The A and E NUM.’ Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘She’s not too bad really, but she runs a tight ship.’
‘She reminds me of my mother.’ Louise gave a wry smile and Ruby was delighted to see that now the conversation was rather more normal, without thinking, Louise took another mouthful of food.
‘Funny you say that!’ Ruby grinned. ‘I remind her of her daughter apparently.’
It was a slow walk back to the unit, deliberately so, because Louise would have happily run all the way back, just to burn up a few extra calories, but Ruby deliberately ambled, and never in a million years would Sheila, or even Jess, Ellie or Tilly, realise that as she stopped by the guest shop and chatted about some flowers, her mind really was on the patient, that this was, in fact, a deliberate action and part of her job.
Doing this, she was happy, Ruby realised, then tried to push away that thought, although it was occurring all too frequently lately. She could stay a div two if she didn’t complete Emergency, or Sheila insisted that she repeat, but Ruby didn’t have to—she could still work in her beloved psych. Okay, she might not be able to go as far in her career as she would like, but she could still do the job she loved.
As she swiped her ID card and they entered the unit that actually felt like home, Ruby had no intention of not showing up tomorrow.
It was just nice to have options, that was all.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HE SAW her again, walking down the hill towards her home, and, yes, he had guessed at the time she might finish and had taken a different route home, because though he had heeded Sheila’s warning he did need to see her—away from the hospital and house—just to check in with her, to find out if she was okay and, Cort admitted, tell her how much he was thinking of her.
‘Hey.’ He felt like a kerb-crawler as he pulled in beside her, but she gave him a very nice smile. ‘Do you want a lift?’
‘I’m five minutes away,’ Ruby said, but she climbed into the car anyway.
‘How come you’re not on nights?’
‘Sheila swapped them round so that I’d be on with her so I’m doing a couple of shifts on Psych. I can work as a div two,’ Ruby explained.
‘And you’re liking it?’
‘Loving it.’
‘Not long now till you’ll be studying again.’ He glanced at her. ‘For your mental-health nursing…’
She stayed silent.
‘A few nights and you’ll be done.’
‘Yep.’
He turned and looked at her again and she smiled back at him but he was quite sure it didn’t reach her eyes.
‘Ruby?’
‘It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I don’t pass,’ Ruby said, and instead of looking at him she looked out of the window. ‘I can work as a div two—I’ve loved my shifts.’
‘For three nights’ work you can be Div One.’
Ruby shrugged. ‘If she passes me. If not, maybe I can speak to the uni…’
Cort knew he should just drop her home, should go back to his own and sort out his head instead of her, because he didn’t know how he was feeling. Elise was right, as always—if love came again, he’d expected more of the same. With Beth, passion had been a slower-building thing, colleagues first, then friendship, dinner, a steady incline to a higher place, but with Ruby it was like a rapid descent, this jump into the unknown.
‘Do you want to come in?’ As they sat at the traffic lights he just said it and he saw her frown, because they were two minutes from her home. ‘My place,’ Cort said.
‘Careful,’ Ruby warned. ‘You’ll be giving Ellie ideas.’
‘I’m always careful,’ Cort said, just not where Ruby was concerned.
It was the most stunning flat she had ever seen—not the interior, more the view.
Cort fetched her a drink and flicked through his post but didn’t open it. It was from lawyers who were tying up Beth’s estate and one from the nursing home too, no doubt with the final bill. He thought for a moment about telling her, but despite her smile she was dealing with so much already. He knew that, though he longed to share it, it might be better to wait just a little while longer, because this evening was about Ruby and getting her through the next week—his grief, his past, would still be there, waiting. Ruby’s future was the only thing that he might be able to change.
‘They pay registrars too much.’ She looked out at the view and swirled her drink. ‘It’s gorgeous.’
He couldn’t embarrass her or make her feel awkward—couldn’t tell her about insurance payouts and the guilt of buying a place that his wife would have loved. So deep was the pain of his past, he just didn’t know how to share it.
He knew, though, how to remove it for a while.
And if that sounded selfish, Cort didn’t care because he knew he helped her too. Knew that somehow she confided in him.
‘You need colour.’ She looked at his surroundings. ‘This is brown, Cort, not taupe.’
‘I’ve got colour.’
And that made her blush because his eyes were on hers, and her cheeks turned up the colour a little bit more.
‘Look,’ he said, because he was worried for her, ‘about nights—’
‘Am I here for a lecture or sex?’ Ruby interrupted, ‘and if it’s both, can we skip the lecture? I’ll be fine on nights. I’m just going to…’ she gave an impatient shrug ‘…not think ab
out it.’
‘I’m shadowing Jamelia,’ Cort said, ‘so I’ll be around, but…’ he hesitated, ‘I don’t know how she could know anything, but I think Sheila warned me today, about you, about us. I certainly haven’t said anything.’
Of that she had no doubt.
‘Sheila’s a witch,’ Ruby said. ‘She’d just have to look into her crystal ball.’ But Cort just stood there, not impressed with her theory.
‘I don’t think we’ve done anything at work that’s been obvious, but there were a lot of people at the party and your housemates…’
‘They would never say anything.’ She had no doubt there either. ‘Siobhan was at the party. I don’t think she likes me…’
And that made sense to Cort, because Siobhan had made it clear on a number of occasions that she liked him.
‘Maybe they just…’ Cort tried for the right word and came up with a very simple one. ‘Noticed.’ Even if he played it down, even if he’d pretended not to notice, from his first day back at work he’d noticed Ruby, had found himself watching her when he hadn’t intended to.
And now he told her just how much he had…noticed.
‘I didn’t need help with that arm,’ Cort said, and he watched her blink as his words hit home. ‘Ted was completely zonked, I could have done it without local anaesthetic and he wouldn’t have felt a thing, wouldn’t have moved a muscle.’
Ruby started to laugh. ‘So you got me into trouble.’
‘You were already in trouble,’ Cort pointed out. ‘I do feel bad, though.’
‘For what?’ Ruby asked, and she felt a sort of warmness spread through her that this guarded man, one she’d thought she’d hauled to her room and randomly seduced, had been attracted to her all along.
Had, in fact, instigated it.
She’d never have guessed, not for a moment, not if she looked back and replayed every minute before that night over and over, because all he’d been was crabby.
‘I’m glad you told me.’
Cort Mason - Dr. Delectable Page 8
