Deirdre's True Desire

by Heather McCorkle

  Icy puddles crunched beneath the boots of the two deputies who now held the harnesses of Kinan’s draft horses.

  “Good day, deputies. What can we do for you?” Kinan asked in a tone dark with contempt.

  Off to their right, the sheriff and the spindly man rose and approached. The spindly man unfolded more than rose, his long limbs extending like those of a spider. A flick of his wrist erupted dark liquid from his cup into the street. He set the cup on his chair without breaking eye contact with Deirdre.

  Sadie leaned across Deirdre and whispered to Kinan, “Is that Ainsworth?”

  Deirdre knew before he answered, she felt it in her bones.

  “Yes,” Kinan confirmed, his tone chilly.

  “Mr. O’Leary, I trust you’ll cooperate,” the sheriff called out as he waddled up. “You see, Mr. Ainsworth here had some property stolen and we’re checking wagons, just to be on the safe side.”

  Kinan thrust his hand down the street. “I suppose that doesn’t include that wagon that just passed before us unmolested?”

  The sheriff held his hands out, palms toward them. “No need to get riled, now. The items stolen were too large to fit in a wagon that small.”

  A clever enough ruse, she had to hand it to him. Ainsworth walked up to Sadie’s side of the wagon, stopping close enough he could have reached up and touched her if he wished. But Sadie may as well have been invisible, for his hard gaze never left Deirdre. The look in his dull, gray eyes held something akin to a predator. It tried to send a chill through her, but she suppressed it. She would not show an inkling of weakness to this man. Anger swiftly burned away the chill.

  “Mrs. Deirdre Quinn, I presume,” he said in the harsh voice of one who partook of too much tobacco and had for some time. Hidden in his voice, she detected a tone of admiration, slight though it was. The long look he took at her cleavage made it clear what he admired about her. His lips turned up into either a grimace or a smile—she wasn’t sure which just yet. “No one mentioned how lovely you are,” he said, sounding irritated about the fact.

  Lifting her chin, Deirdre gave him a steely gaze. “You would have discovered that if you had received me when I sent along my card.”

  He shrugged. “I regret that I’ve been unable to receive guests. The holiday is nearly upon us, as you know. The year is quickly waning.” At the last part, his predatory smile grew wide enough she could practically see all of his teeth.

  One deputy remained at the head of their team while the other walked back around the wagon with the sheriff. Kinan leaped down from the wagon and stormed out of sight, boots thudding against the frozen ground.

  Ainsworth dipped his head in a mockery of a bow and set his hat back upon it. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies,” he said in a tone that sounded entirely too pleased.

  As soon as he disappeared around the side of the wagon, Deirdre and Sadie exchanged a smile. They scrambled from the seat in a most unladylike manner and hurried to the back, where the men had gathered. Deirdre placed her hands on her hips and feigned indignation.

  “You cannot possibly believe we would steal anything from you. My friends and I have adequate means of our own—and honor atop that. We would never do such a thing,” she said.

  Ainsworth’s oily gaze slid to her. “I certainly hope not. But widows alone in a man’s world can become quite desperate.”

  The calculation in those eyes, the weight of his gaze—they were traits of a dangerous man. She had encountered his like in New York, but she had never been the focus of such a man before. To be so now, on her own, without a husband to shield her, was disconcerting enough to make her queasy. “And you’ve had a lot of experience harassing bereft widows, have you?” she said, before good sense could stop her.

  The grin Ainsworth gave her remained humorless as his gaze crawled up her body. Something dark and horrible lay in that gaze, something that chilled her to the bone and made her heart nearly skip with fear. “Adequate experience with women, yes, I do have that. Harassing widows, certainly not.” A dull pink tongue wetted his lips. “I wouldn’t suspect such a…lovely, proper lady as yourself of wrongdoing. But, you see, you have taken up with an unsavory sort.” A hard, dark edge entered his eyes as his gaze flicked to Kinan and back. “Though, as you are new in town, I suspect that isn’t your fault.”

  The sheriff looked to Ainsworth, who nodded without so much as turning his head in the man’s direction. Right hand on his pistol, eyes on Kinan, the sheriff flung the tarp covering the contents of their wagon aside. Both Ainsworth and the sheriff’s smug grins melted away at the sight of the colorful bolts of fabric nestled amid furniture and wooden boxes. Ainsworth’s jaw clenched.

  “One would think you are moving into the inn, Mrs. Quinn. Perhaps there is an announcement I missed.” At the last, he shot a sharp glare toward the sheriff. Eyes going wide with fear, the sheriff shook his head.

  An unexpected pang of sympathy for the man pierced Deirdre’s heart. No one should have to live in that much fear. Deirdre lifted her chin. “I am decorating it. And, in fact, you did miss an announcement when you failed to allow me an audience.”

  Ainsworth’s thin smile grew wide, and disturbingly, thinner. “I am intrigued, do tell.”

  The deputy reached up to touch a bolt of lace only to have his hand promptly smacked by Sadie. Glaring, he turned to her. She stood tall, fierce countenance a warning that things would not go well for him if he persisted. The man wisely took a step back. Deirdre looped an arm through Sadie’s, effectively cutting off the deputy’s access to the wagon.

  With Sadie placated, and the young man safe from her wrath, Deirdre looked to Ainsworth. “We’re decorating for Patrick Fergusson and Catriona O’Brian’s engagement party, which is occurring next Saturday,” she said.

  The skin around his eyes tightened briefly, but that was his only sign of displeasure. “Ah, my invitation must have been lost by the courier.”

  “Not at all. I feared sending it only to have it returned. But I do indeed have an invitation for you.”

  His brows pulled up. “You would like me to attend?” The question sounded like a challenge.

  Deirdre put on her most sincere face. “Of course, I would. Mr. Ainsworth, you are a pillar of this community, and our neighbor. We have every reason to be cordial and cooperate with one another.”

  Ainsworth made a humming noise low in his throat that sounded as if he could be in agreement or disagreement.

  Deirdre sighed, making it sound as dramatic as she dared. “I understand that we have conflicting interests, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be neighborly. There is a wedding afoot, not to mention the holidays. Surely, we can put our differences aside for that. At least until the spring when things with our property truly get under way.”

  Something flashed in his eyes that might have been triumph, before he swept his hat off and dipped his head to her in a gesture that almost looked genuinely gracious. “You are quite right. And who knows. By then, we may not be at such odds.” Were it not for the flat look in his eyes, she might have thought he meant it.

  “In that case, I do hope you’ll be able to attend the engagement party on Saturday. It won’t be complete without you.” Eyes wide, Deirdre looked to Sadie. “Do we have any invitations with us?”

  Nodding, Sadie dug in a small satchel. She produced a fine envelope with a green wax seal upon it. Deirdre had to tug it from her fingers. Sadie’s eyes pinched into slits, but Ainsworth ignored her as if he couldn’t feel the glare. As much as Deirdre hated people ignoring Sadie, in this case, she didn’t mind. Escaping this man’s notice was a good thing. Besides, it meant he underestimated Sadie, and they could use that to their advantage.

  Deirdre batted her lashes a bit, curtsied just enough to give him a good look down her cleavage, and handed the invitation to Ainsworth. If he thought her the fool for using her feminine wiles, all the better. H
is brows rose with a look of interest as he took the envelope.

  “I will attempt to make it,” he said.

  “Wonderful! I do hope you will. I shall save a dance for you,” she said in her sweetest voice.

  “I look forward to that,” he said, sounding sincere for the first time in their conversation.

  To hide her look of disgust, Deirdre dipped her head in a feigned demure move that spilled black curls across her face.

  Ainsworth took a step back and put his hat back on his head. “I shall let you get back to your event planning. Until Saturday, Mrs. Quinn.”

  “Until Saturday,” she agreed with far more cheer than she felt.

  The sheriff and his deputies stepped away to join Ainsworth in the street. Deirdre held eye contact with Ainsworth only so long as would be considered proper, smiling all the while. She fought the instinct to give him a coy look, knowing it would do more harm than good. He was too intelligent for such blatant tactics to be used too frequently.

  Kinan started for the front of the wagon. Deirdre took hold of Sadie’s hand and followed at a clipped pace. She suddenly didn’t want to be very far away from him. Even as Ainsworth’s steps retreated toward the sheriff’s building, she felt the weight of his gaze on her. It made the skin all across her back crawl and gave her a powerful urge to walk faster. Instead, she slowed her pace.

  With his long strides, Kinan easily beat them to the front of the wagon. The warmth of his hand beneath hers as he helped her into the wagon made her realize how terribly cold she had grown. While it was cold out, she feared the chill came from the encounter with Ainsworth. Only moments passed as Kinan helped Sadie into the wagon then climbed in himself, but it felt like an eternity. She couldn’t get away from Ainsworth fast enough.

  Fixing a smile in place, she leaned out and waved as Kinan flicked the reins and propelled the horses into motion. Ainsworth grabbed the rim of his hat and dipped his head to her. The edge of the wagon cover soon blocked him from view, allowing Deirdre to breathe a touch easier. To think, she had nearly gone to that man’s house to confront him alone.… A powerful shudder shook her from head to toe. Gaze on the frozen dirt road before them, Kinan reached back into the wagon and grabbed a blanket. He handed it to Deirdre.

  “Here you are, for the chill.” His soft voice comforted and beckoned her. She wanted nothing more than to snuggle up to his warmth and feel safe—even if for a brief moment. But, of course, she couldn’t.

  She accepted the blanket and spread it over both hers and Sadie’s laps. Sadie scooted a bit closer to Deirdre and leaned into her, drawing both strength and warmth from her.

  “Thank you,” Deirdre told Kinan softly.

  It wasn’t merely the blanket she was grateful for. If she hadn’t come across Kinan that day after leaving the woods, she feared she would have gone to Ainsworth’s. Seeing him then had calmed her, allowed her to think rationally, and had changed her mind. Now that she had met Ainsworth, she realized, coming across Kinan that day might have also saved her life.

  Sadie shuddered. “That man leaves a foul taste in one’s mouth, a powerfully foul taste,” she said.

  “Yes, and a chill in one’s bones. I find myself wanting to gargle with whiskey to rid myself of the taste and sit by a fire for days,” Deirdre agreed.

  Kinan flicked the reins again, urging the horses faster. “As soon as we reach the inn, I’ll have baths drawn and whiskey brought up to your rooms. In fact, I think I’ll do the same for myself,” he said.

  Only one thing sounded better to Deirdre, and that was Kinan in the bath with her. She needed to rid herself of the seedy feel of Ainsworth’s gaze on her. And what better way to do that than to experience a more memorable sensation, one sure to set her afire. Sadly, Kinan was far too proper for such things. This was one chill Deirdre would have to banish on her own.

  Chapter 15

  The morning rays spilled over the distant hills to bathe the massive pile of lodgepole pine logs in a soft glow. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing Deirdre had ever seen. This pile was smaller than the piles at Deirdre’s and Sadie’s home sites. Cat didn’t intend to live here, but a home needed to be built to ensure they didn’t lose the land. The winery itself was not enough, according to the county official.

  “There are so many of them,” she said in a choked voice.

  Frost crunched beneath her boots as she stepped up to stroke the rough bark of a log half as big around as she was tall. The pile of them was almost as tall as a single-story house. Their sweet pine scent filled her with hope. Right then and there she decided to plant a seedling for each log it took to build her home, to honor what the tree had given to her. A silly notion perhaps, but she didn’t care. Such was her joy.

  Sadie took her hand and squeezed tight. “They are indeed,” she agreed, her face aglow with happiness.

  Cat joined them on Deirdre’s right. “Aye, and there’s more on the way. Cofield is escorting several of Rick’s ranch hands with another load as we speak. They left to fetch it the moment Rick arrived to take over guarding this load,” she said.

  “Ranch hands?” Sadie asked, her tone filled with worry.

  “No worries, they’re old friends of his, freemen he met during the war.”

  Sadie’s eyes widened. “Do they really think it’s necessary to guard the logs, on our own land?”

  The hard look Cat gave her surprised Deirdre. “Aye. We wouldn’t put anything past Ainsworth. Rick thought it best for each of our home sites to have at least one guard from here on out, just to be safe,” she said.

  “Just one?” Deirdre asked.

  “More when possible, but they’ll also use brush as a signal fire should trouble come.”

  Chills traveled through Deirdre. Now that she had met Ainsworth, she wouldn’t put it past him to send men out to spy on them. She was infinitely glad Rick had thought of guarding the home sites.

  Male voices engaged in conversation came from their left, growing louder as they approached. A few moments later, Rick and Dylan emerged from around the pile of logs. The sight of Dylan made Deirdre tug at her breeches self-consciously. Men’s clothes were something she had never worn, and while they fit quite comfortably, she was insecure about how she looked in them. But Cat had insisted they would be more comfortable for the work that had to be done.

  Sadie batted Deirdre’s hands away. “Oh, do stop, or you’ll get me to fussing, too. These things cling in unspeakable places,” she whispered. She did a bit of a twist and wiggle, trying to adjust her own breeches.

  Deirdre knew exactly how she felt. The urge to grab the seat of her breeches and pull them from her behind was almost overwhelming. That was something she wouldn’t do in present company, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

  Cat laughed. “You’ll get used to it.”

  Dylan drew up at the sight of them. He blinked rapidly several times as if unsure what he beheld. The confusion on his face mingled with the desire in his eyes in a most conflicting manner. The reaction only made Deirdre tug at her clothes all the more. Not that she cared if Dylan found the outfit displeasing. If anything, it only infuriated her that he would be so traditional. Rather, it was the fact that being self-conscious was not a thing she was used to and she didn’t like it.

  “Good morning, ladies. I didn’t realize you’d be working alongside us today,” he said. She liked his tone even less than the fact that he made her feel self-conscious.

  “Yes, well, we may not be as strong as men, but you’ll be surprised at how hard we can work,” she said.

  Dylan’s fingers flexed around the big hook in his hand, knuckles turning white. “I’m just sorry you ladies have to. ’Tisn’t right what Ainsworth’s doing to you all,” he said.

  Rick clapped the man on the shoulder. “No worries, he isn’t going to succeed, and that’s what matters. When me lads return, we’ll have all the
workers and materials we need to put up these cabins in no time at all.”

  He strode around the man, eyes only for Cat. One of his big hands cupped her cheek. The emotional look they shared made Deirdre look down out of a desire not to intrude. In his other hand, he held a curved metal device, not unlike a hoe, though with a much shorter handle.

  “Don’t be overworking yourself now, you hear?” Rick told Cat in a gentle tone. He pressed the metal tool into her hands.

  “I won’t, I promise,” she said.

  The crunching of frosty grass made Deirdre look up. Dylan stood before her, two more of the metal tools and leather gloves in hand. He gave her and Sadie each a pair of gloves and one of the tools. She looked at the thing, the logs, and then Dylan. “I’m afraid I have no idea how to use this,” she admitted.

  He hid a grin, poorly. “No worries, I’ll show you.”

  Already, Cat was trying out the tool on a log with Rick’s guidance. Sadie slid on the pair of gloves, took up the tool, and nodded to Dylan. “Thank you. I’ve seen one used before,” she said.

  She strode off to the end of the log pile where Cat and Rick worked. Normally, Deirdre would have been thrilled to be left alone with a handsome young man who fancied her. But she couldn’t stop thinking of how he had disapproved of her riding along to free Cofield. More than that, she couldn’t get Kinan out of her head. Silly, she knew. The man was entirely wrong for her, far too proper to be stimulating in a physical way. If only he didn’t have so many other redeeming qualities. Like how he had stayed behind at the inn today to decorate for the engagement party, sending all his help to town to maintain the ruse that she and her friends were engrossed in their party planning.

  Distracted, she followed in a bit of a daze as Dylan led her to the opposite end of the log pile from Cat and the others. “The work will feel as if it goes faster if you work on the opposite end and move in toward the other worker. You’ll want to put the gloves on so you don’t get blisters,” Dylan said.