Mating Instinct (The COMPLETE Ridgeville Series)

by Kyle, Celia

  With a relieved sigh, she sank into him, drew on his strength. The reassurance of his presence allowed the rest of her emotions to venture forth, the feelings that plagued her day after day.

  “I’m scared.” She’d acted scared, screamed and cried when others approached her, but she’d never voiced the words.

  “I’ll protect you.”

  Three words—three words from the man fated to be hers—and the fear she’d carried for one hundred seventy-one days slowly eased from her present and into her past.

  78

  “Shit happens. Yeah, that’s all I got. Shit happens and then you just gotta grab the poop baggie of life, tie it off, and hope it doesn’t continue to stink up the place.” — Maya O’Connell, Prima of the Ridgeville Pride and woman who hopes shit will take a hike so everyone can be happy already.

  The next morning, horror still clung to him. Even waking with his mate in his arms, snug against his body—her warm breath fanning his skin—hadn’t banished the feeling.

  Listening, hearing the beginnings of her story through her heartbreaking sobs had been difficult, but through her eyes…

  Grayson sipped his coffee, gaze unfocused as the sun rose and shined across the clearing. It inched higher, bringing bright light and a riot of colors as it emerged from the horizon.

  Any other time, he’d appreciate the beauty, nudge his mate out of bed so they could cuddle on the porch and watch it together. Any other time when he didn’t get sick at the thought of forcing himself on her.

  How could she bear his touch? His mouth? His hands? He still tasted the sex-filled air that’d surrounded her. He still craved the blood of the Sensitive who’d tried to control her. He still harbored the breath-stealing fear.

  But they weren’t his feelings, emotions, thoughts. They were Honor’s.

  He needed to make plans for tomorrow night. He still hadn’t, was waiting to discuss things with Honor, but now he simply wanted her safe, protected. He wasn’t sure if that was secured in the cell in the pride house basement or locked in the office at Genesis. Both locations allowed her to keep others away. She could reset the locks and be the only one with the codes to gain entrance or leave.

  That didn’t mean he’d abandon her, but he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t try to cajole her into mating if they had easy access to each other. He loved her enough to fight the cat, but he craved her more than his next breath.

  The creak of the back door announced someone’s approach, the heavy thud of their steps telling him it wasn’t a female. He breathed deep, drawing in the sweet morning air, the delicious scent of coffee as well as… Alex. Good. He needed to talk to the man anyway.

  “How you holding up?”

  He took a sip of the steaming brew, buying himself a moment. “Good enough.”

  He wanted to rage at his Prime, unburden his soul and roar at the sky. Instead, he caged it.

  “Uh-huh.” Alex walked past him and paused near one of the support posts. He sat on the railing, leaning against the beam. The male’s gaze was heavy, penetrating, but Grayson refused to pour his problems on his leader.

  Some things needed to stay between him and his mate. Even if Stone was brought into the circle, it really was his and Honor’s issue.

  Issue. Nice way to phrase it.

  “Stone told me a little more.”

  Grayson didn’t have anything else to do with his twitching hands, so he gripped the cup a little harder. He was thankful Maya ordered the steel mugs even if she’d done it because she was tired of the way Alex shattered the ceramic ones.

  “He’s got a theory.”

  Yeah, that’s why the gorilla had come from Chicago. Theories and protection.

  “I’m listening.” Not that he wanted to. No, he wanted peace with the sunrise before he had to attack the elephant in the room with his mate.

  “He believes the Sensitive was Angus’s mate regardless of how he treated the lioness. For some reason, he pushed off mating over and over again as he continued finding ‘others.’ Honor showed up and refused him, then she brushed off Bianca’s suggestions and killed the female. Originally, she probably would have been used and discarded. Then she turned into one of Angus’s ‘others’ that he tortured but she wouldn’t submit and he hadn’t managed to kill her. She became a novelty to him, a challenge to break.”

  Grayson couldn’t withhold the snarl of rage, the anger that burned hot and fast through him. His mate wasn’t some novelty. She was gorgeous and strong as hell and his. The fury overwhelmed him, rolled through him like a tsunami, and his lion rushed forward. The steel mug collapsed in his grip, folding in on itself as the steaming coffee poured over his hand. His fur burst from his pores while his muscles expanded and bunched, tensing beneath his skin. His bones cracked and snapped, transition from human toward beast. He would hunt the male and kill him, gorge on his blood.

  His chest heaved, air billowing in and out of his lungs as he fought to temper the fury. It was useless. So he rolled to his feet, tilted his head back, and roared, the sound echoing across the yard. Then he turned toward his Prime, snarling at the male.

  Alex didn’t budge, didn’t make a move. Instead, he stared at Grayson with an unblinking look only a cat could achieve. “You done?”

  He glared at his Prime, but pushed back the crazed anger that threatened to overtake him.

  “We know he’s determined. He’s not all there, obviously, and is fixated on Honor.” Alex took a deep breath and released it slowly. “We think he’ll strike tomorrow night. He’ll come at us when we’re most distracted. Even I’ll have a difficult time remaining focused.” Alex was their strongest male, but the Gaian Moon could distract even the toughest, most dedicated shifter. “So, I need to know your plans. Then, we’ll figure out how to keep her safe while hopefully capturing him.”

  “Plans?” He still hadn’t figured that out himself.

  “You haven’t talked to Honor?”

  He shook his head, cursing himself for putting off the discussion for so long.

  “We all know you’re not mated. Do you plan on, uh, handling that before tomorrow night? Or are you saving yourselves?” Alex actually blushed, his cheeks turning pink. “Fuck, man. You realize you don’t have to take that step to mate. You could bare fang and be done with it.”

  Which was true, but he hadn’t wanted to begin their mated lives that way. He’d always hoped for a passionate mating, one that began with screams of pleasure and ended with tying his life to another’s.

  “I know. I’ll talk to her when she gets up.”

  Another rattle of the back door and the weight of the person’s approach told him a female eased closer. He repeated the deep inhale of before and identified the woman before Alex welcomed her.

  “Honor.”

  “Alex.” Her voice trembled. “Grayson? Is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine, lovely.” He shot the Prime a glare while he also urged the cat into the back of his mind.

  “I’ll leave you two alone.” The male rose from the railing and moved past him, his heavy tread announcing his departure.

  As fur receded and bones snapped back into place, he turned toward his mate and extended his arm.

  “Sleep well?” he murmured.

  “Until I woke up.” She grinned and narrowed her eyes as she padded toward him. “Someone left me.”

  He returned her grin, but he knew it fell flat. “Didn’t want to wake you.”

  While she approached, he noticed the coffee dripping from his hand. He quickly wiped it on his cotton shorts while he also dropped the crushed hunk of metal to the wood deck.

  “Get a little upset this morning?” Her gaze focused on his now discarded mug.

  “A little.” He reached for her again, tugging her close while he sat and spread his legs wider, making room for her. “C’mere. We need to talk.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “Well…” he hedged.

  Honor settled o
n his lap, snuggling against him with a soft sigh, and he took a moment to enjoy the curvy weight of her in his arms. “Animal, mineral, or vegetable?”

  “Huh?”

  She shrugged. “You’re not saying anything, so I figure we’re playing twenty questions.” She nuzzled his neck and his cock immediately responded, thickening and lengthening for her. “I’ll tell you now, if the answer has anything to do with a female you’ve got your eye on, I’ll cut her.”

  He eased away and looked down at her. “Where’d that come from?”

  “I’m a gangsta, yo. I grew up hard on the dark streets of Ridgeville.”

  He let a grin play on his lips. “You worked with Maddy again. That’s a little bit of the old you.”

  Suddenly she vibrated, trembled with uncertainty. “Do you like that part of me? I mean, I can’t change, but you’re my mate and I—”

  Grayson pressed a soft kiss to her lips, not to arouse, but to reassure. “I do. I like the Honor of four years ago as much as yesterday’s Honor, and the Honor of today.” He rubbed her nose with his. “Though, I will admit leaving some of the brattiness behind might be a good thing.”

  “I’ll show you bratty,” she growled and nipped his lower lip. That fast, his cock went from half hard to rock solid. “Seriously, though, you don’t mind…”

  He cupped her cheek, forcing her to keep her attention on him. “Honor.” He stared into her eyes, at the face he’d looked at the past weeks, at the features he’d see across the breakfast table for the rest of his life, and knew now was the time. “I love you. All of you. Your strength, your heart, and even your sarcasm. I love you today and I will love you forever. If you’ll let me.”

  * * *

  If you’ll let me.

  Tears filled her eyes, clouding her vision, masking him from her gaze, and she quickly blinked. One trailed down her cheek followed by another and Grayson wiped them away.

  “Oh, love,” he whispered. “Are these happy or sad tears?”

  “Happy.” She sniffled. After Angus, after everything, after yesterday with Maddy and Stone, she wasn’t sure he’d look at her the same. He hadn’t given her a reason to doubt him, but the insecurity still lingered.

  She mirrored his touch, cupping his cheek, enjoying the rough scruff he had yet to shave off. “I love you.” The words were hoarse from her tears. “I love your strength, your heart, and the fact you’d really rip apart anyone who’d ever hurt me.”

  “I’d feed bits and pieces to you, but since they’re shifters…” He grinned and winked at her.

  “No joking.” She smacked his shoulder. “I mean it. I love you. So, so much.”

  More than life itself.

  Honor breathed deep, enjoying Grayson’s natural scents as well as the added hint of his love for her. It was easy to discern now; clean, fresh, and bright, it called to her.

  Love.

  His gaze strayed from her eyes, traveled along her cheek, further south and then finally settled on her shoulder.

  Mating. Right. They had to discuss that. It’d been at the front of her mind as the days counted down, the night of the Gaian Moon approaching and looming before them. She hadn’t wanted to push herself to take that step just because it arrived. She’d ached to heal enough to make the act enjoyable for both of them. She hoped the recent session with Maddy was enough, but she wasn’t so sure.

  “I,” she coughed and cleared her throat, “we should mate. If you want to. I mean, we don’t have to.”

  Amber filled his eyes. “I want.” He released her cheek and brushed his fingers over her shoulder. “More than anything, I want.” He focused on her face once again. “But I refuse to push. That doesn’t mean we don’t have things to discuss. We need to figure out what to do about tomorrow night. That’s why Alex was out here. To go over our options.”

  Tomorrow night. She both dreaded and looked forward to the evening. She hated that her body would be overtaken by nature, but she also anticipated coming together with Grayson. Maybe. She hadn’t decided yet.

  “What did he say?”

  He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “We can change the codes at Genesis office or the cell in the basement here. You’d be the only one with them. You’d be separated and safe from everyone. Including me.”

  Cell was a pretty word for cage. She’d seen the one in the pride house basement. So many years ago and it seemed like a lifetime, but she’d seen it. She never wanted to be anywhere near steel bars again.

  “The club.” She pushed the words from her dry lips. “I won’t go in a cage. Not ever. Do you hear me, Grayson? I won’t.” She shook her head, knowing the panic riding her was unnecessary. Her mate wouldn’t do anything that could harm her. The panic didn’t give a damn.

  “I know, shh, shh. Easy.” He combed her hair with his fingers. “I had to give you the option. I didn’t want to take away your choices.”

  She clung to him, holding onto the only solid thing she’d had in her life since her return to Ridgeville.

  “One other thing and then maybe we can enjoy the rest of the sunrise. Hmm?”

  “Wh-what?” She was afraid to know, but just as afraid of being ignorant.

  “Tomorrow night, your cat will…”

  Want him. Crave him. Fight her human half to have him. It wouldn’t care the human half of her was still battered if not broken. Maddy’s sessions healed not just her human half, but the lioness as well. It wasn’t as strong as… before… but it would still give her a run for her money.

  “I know.”

  “So, you need to decide how you’d like tomorrow evening to go. I have to oversee the running of the club.”

  He didn’t say the rest, that he’d be overseeing an orgy. With unmated females wandering the floor, hunting their next partner.

  “I won’t be able to get to you—you’ll be the only one with the code to get into the upstairs office—but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get out.”

  Get out and claim him, allow him to claim her. To show the bitches he belonged to her.

  “You love me.” Indecision roiled inside her, swelling and shrinking with every breath. She needed to hear it again.

  “More than anything.” She knew he spoke the truth. He’d said it several times already and he believed each utterance. “And I would never do anything to threaten our mating.”

  “No, I know.” He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t look at another female. “I want…”

  To not be broken anymore. To be kissed senseless and not worry about a memory pouncing on her. To be near a Sensitive without flinching. To welcome Grayson without the hint of panic that accompanied the words.

  Maybe someday. But someday wasn’t today and she had a choice to make. He wasn’t pushing her and she could decide to hide in the office, trembling with need while he did the same down below.

  But it was shoving off the inevitable, wasn’t it?

  Yes.

  “I want you to claim me.” She shoved as much conviction behind the words as she could. “I want to mate.”

  Grayson shuddered and a soft peppering of golden fur lined his jaw. He closed his eyes, breathing deep, and when he reopened them she looked into a pair of bright amber eyes. “Here?”

  Honor looked around the patio, at the house’s windows and open blinds. “I don’t think Maya wants the twins to have a naked-fun-times kind of show.”

  His eyes flared in excitement and his words belied his true feelings. “We don’t have to make love now. A bite is all it takes. A claiming bite is enough to soothe the cat.”

  Her inner-animal purred in agreement, but unfortunately, Honor disagreed. She shook her head and rose from his lap, snaring his hand before he could remove his touch. “No, if I’m going to mate, it’s in a bed, with my male inside me, making love to me until I scream.” The sting of her fur appearing without conscious thought slid over her arms. “I can’t promise not to get scared, but I can promise to love you. Come mate me, Grayson.”

  He
stared at her while she did the same, reading and scenting him. He inspected her gaze and she hoped her expression conveyed her feelings. She wanted him, every bit of him.

  “Oh, say yes already!” Maya’s bellow sailed through the air.

  Honor rolled her eyes. “Way to be romantic, Maya!”

  “What? He’s been dating you for over a month. Hop to it.” Honor snorted and apparently Maya heard. “That’s not very respectful. I’m the Prima, dam—darn it.”

  She giggled, smiling even wider when her mate returned the expression.

  “I love you.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her, sending a tingle of awareness through her.

  She tilted her head toward the back door and prayed he’d finally give in. “Come show me, then.”

  When he rose to his feet and twined their fingers together, she let other feelings join her love for him. Nervousness… Anxiety… Worry… Hope.

  79

  “There’s this whole quote about you can’t lose what you never had, you can’t keep what’s not yours, and you can’t hold onto something that doesn’t want to stay. My answer: I can totally steal that shit, it was mine first, you lying whore, and amazingly enough if you tie the right knots it ain’t leaving.” — Maya O’Connell, Prima of the Ridgeville Pride and woman who totally aced creative thinking in school. High five!

  The weight of her hand reminded Grayson she was there, following him through the kitchen, past the early risers, the bickering cubs, and questioning stares of the adults.

  Their feet made no sound as they strode up the steps and over the thick carpet of the hallway that led to his room. Their room.

  The turn of a knob and nudge of the door granted them entrance to their space and in a handful of heartbeats, they were alone.

  He pulled Honor to him, tugging until her soft front was pressed against his firm body. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he kept her in place. He cupped her cheek, forcing her to look into his eyes, allowing him to read her expression.

  “You want this?” He had to be sure.