The Fiery Ring

by Gilbert, Morris

  “Hello, Joy.” She turned quickly and could barely make out the dim form over to her left, but she knew Chase’s voice.

  “Hello, Chase.”

  “You out for an evening walk?”

  “I just couldn’t sleep. I was so excited.” She wanted to ask his opinion of her act, but she knew he didn’t approve of it and felt she was being foolish.

  “Mind if I join you?” Chase asked.

  “Oh no. I’d like some company.”

  The two moved away from the circus grounds, where the quieter sounds of the night became more distinct. They could hear a chorus of frogs from a nearby pond, the soft hooting of an owl, and the muted hum of cars and trucks on the distant highway.

  Joy stopped and turned to face Chase. The moon was bright, and she looked up at it. “I used to think somebody lived on the moon.”

  “So did I, and on the stars too.”

  “Maybe they do.”

  “I doubt it. I think God made the earth for man, and all those stars and the moon and the sun are for our benefit, but who really knows what’s up there?”

  Chase looked down at her, noticing how the moonlight softly illuminated her features. “You look so different from the first time I saw you, Joy.”

  “I know,” she said. “I was wearing that awful boys’ garb. I’ve never forgotten that night in the boxcar when you saved my life.”

  “No, I think it was you who saved me. Do you still carry that thirty-eight?”

  “I still have it. It’s a family heirloom.”

  While the two talked, Chase watched the shadows of the night move across her face. At one time she had seemed like just a girl to him, but now a complex and unfathomable woman stood before him. She surprised him by suddenly blurting out, “Chase, please don’t be mad at me for doing the act.”

  “I’m not mad. I’m worried about you.”

  “I know you are, but really, there’s no reason for you to be worried.”

  “You know my reasons, Joy.”

  As they stood together in the moonlight, Joy admitted to herself that she’d always been attracted to Chase. It began when she had nursed him back to health like a helpless baby. Then later her feelings for him had turned to infatuation, although she had never spoken of it to anyone else. Lately when she looked at him, she felt a deep stirring, and she often wondered what it would be like to be completely in love with this man.

  “Chase . . .” She started to speak, but then for no reason she could think of, she had to struggle to keep her composure. She looked up at him and whispered, “Chase, I’ve always had a special feeling for you, and I’m worried about you.”

  “You mean about Stella? There was nothing to that. That’s ancient history.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m so glad, Chase.”

  She looked in his eyes as he gazed intently at her. She had little experience with men, but she knew desire when she saw it, and she saw it now in the face of Chase Hardin. When he put his arms around her, she did not resist. She let herself be enfolded in his embrace, responding in kind to his ardent kiss.

  The moment surprised Chase as much as it did Joy. Her nearness drained him of his strength, and he held the kiss for a long time, not wanting to let her go. But then he stepped back and held her at arm’s length. “Well, I’ve made a mess out of this just like I’ve handled everything else.”

  Joy was more than shocked . . . she was hurt. It was as if he had just slapped her in the face. She had been deeply stirred by the warmth of his arms around her and the touch of his lips as they clung to each other in the moonlight. The moment would have been perfect and complete if he had declared his love for her; instead, he had pushed her away and uttered this inane comment.

  “Whatever do you mean, Chase?”

  “I promised Sister Hannah I’d never do anything wrong with you.”

  These words hurt Joy even more. Her feelings rushed out in a torrent of anger and confusion. “How can you say that? We haven’t done anything wrong!”

  “I don’t have any right to feel anything for a woman, Joy. I’m nothing but a roustabout and a drunk. I always will be.”

  At this Joy gave full vent to her anger. “You don’t have to be a failure, Chase. You’re just giving up on yourself and on life.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Oh, I understand all right. You just refuse to be a man.” She turned and started to walk away, the anger and hurt obvious in the stiffness of her body.

  Chase started after her, now feeling even more confused and wondering why she was so angry with him. He ran to catch up with her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around. “Wait, Joy! Why are you so mad at me?”

  “Don’t you know? You treat me like I’m a little girl! Well, I’m not a little girl, Chase!”

  “Of course—I know that.”

  The whole situation was so frustrating Joy just wanted to scream. She knew she had a lot to learn about men, but her feelings for this man were now in a worse jumble than before. How could he kiss her like that, then just push her away? Fighting back tears, she turned and fled into the night.

  In desperation, Chase called after her, “Joy, please don’t do that act with the tigers.”

  She shouted back, “You’re not my boss, Chase Hardin! Don’t you dare tell me what to do!”

  ****

  A week went by, and every night Joy could not avoid the memory of Chase’s embrace and warm kiss. She could almost feel his arms around her, and she was disturbed and confused at what she felt. She was fairly certain he had deep feelings for her but was just afraid to admit it. She also knew that unless he got over his fear, it would never come to anything. Throughout that week the two avoided each other, speaking only briefly and only when necessary, both of them hiding their emotions.

  Travis came to Chase one day, his face troubled, and said, “Chase, we’ve got to do something about Joy.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with her?”

  “You haven’t heard what they’re going to do?”

  “What who’s going to do? What are you talking about, Travis?”

  “Karl’s talked her into going into the ring with him—both of them in the ring together with all fifteen of those lions and tigers. She can’t do it, Chase. You know that better than anybody.”

  Indeed, Chase did know. He said quickly, “You’re right. You’ve got to stop her, Travis.”

  “She won’t listen to me. Will you talk to her?”

  “I think I’m the last one she’d listen to.”

  Travis considered Chase carefully. “I think she’s got something in her heart for you, Chase. She’s never said anything to me about it, but I’ve noticed that she watches you all the time.”

  “There can’t be anything like that between us. I’m not good enough for her. I’m not going anywhere in life.”

  “Will you at least try to talk to her?”

  Chase sighed. He didn’t want Joy to do the act any more than Travis did, but he felt helpless to change her mind. He finally said, “I’ll try, Travis. But I can’t make any promises.”

  ****

  The confrontation with Joy was short and more disturbing than Chase had imagined. He had gone to her trailer and found her there alone. When she answered the door, he said immediately, “Joy, listen to me. I know you’re mad at me, but please don’t do this thing with Ritter. I’m worried about you and so is your brother. It’s a very bad idea.”

  Joy had expected this and had braced herself for it. “I know how you feel about it, Chase, but I’ve got to do it.”

  “Why do you have to do it?”

  “Maybe I should have said I want to do it. I love the circus, and I think I can do this job. Why did you do it when you were performing? You loved it, didn’t you?”

  Chase dropped his head. He could not answer for a moment. “It’s a different kind of thing.”

  The argument went on for some time, and finally Chase took a deep
breath. “You won’t listen to Travis or to me?”

  “I have to do it—and you can’t stop me.”

  Chase suddenly pulled himself up. “Well, I won’t be here to see it.”

  Joy felt a surge of fear. “What do you mean you won’t be here?”

  “One of these days you’re going to get badly hurt or killed, and I won’t watch it. So I’ll leave before it happens.”

  “Leave? But where will you go?”

  “I kept my promise to Sister Hannah to stay with you until your brother got back. Well, he’s back, so you don’t need me anymore.” Chase was angry, yet at the same time a gnawing fear lurked in his heart. He knew at that moment how much he had come to care for this young woman, and he felt bitter that he could not do more to dissuade her from getting in the cage with all the cats. Despite the guilt that swept through him, he told her, “I’m leaving.”

  “But, Chase—where will you go?”

  Chase studied her briefly, then said, “I’m going back to ask my mother to forgive me for all the wrongs I’ve done her. I’m going to get a job selling shoes or carrying sacks out to a car for a grocery store. I’m going to find a good woman and have five kids.” The words bubbled out of him, and he took a deep breath. “I’m going to be normal for a change. Good-bye, Joy!”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Go Find Your Way”

  Jacksonville, Florida, was a flat place. No mountains rested on the horizon, nor even low rolling hills such as Chase had learned to love in other parts of the country. He walked down the street scanning the numbers on the Spanish-style houses. They were not ornate, just durable working-class homes, mostly one-story and covered with stucco. Many of the yards had palm trees and yuccalike plants called Spanish bayonet, but had no grass; they were as much white sand as soil.

  Chase blinked at the bright late afternoon sun as he scrutinized the number on a house sitting farther back from the road than most: 2920. It was the right number, but he hesitated. The suitcase in his hand pulled at his arm, and he was weary from the long bus ride. He had relived his last painful encounter with Joy so many times that his nerves were frayed. His leaving her had been an impulsive decision, he knew, and more than once he’d wanted to go back and catch up with the circus. But some inner urge drove him here. Now as he stood in front of the gray stucco house with the red-tile roof, he was certain this was something he had to do.

  Throwing his shoulders back, his lips grew thin with determination as he pressed them together. He walked down the paved driveway and onto the front sidewalk, stepping up onto a small porch with an overhang. Giving himself no time to think, he pushed the bell. He could hear it ringing inside the house, and a few seconds later the door opened. Chase suddenly felt a great sadness as he looked at his mother. “Hello, Mom.”

  “Chase—it’s you!”

  Lucille Matthews threw her hands up. Chase dropped the suitcase and embraced her. He felt her arms around his neck and his own tears on his cheek. For a time he simply held her, not wanting to let go. Then when she drew back and began wiping the tears from her face with her apron, his voice was unsteady. “The bad penny’s come home again, Mom.”

  “You come right in the house.” Taking his arm, Lucille pulled him inside. “Put that suitcase down there. Come into the kitchen. I’ll bet you’re hungry.”

  “I am a little bit, but I thought we might talk first.”

  Lucille Matthews was an attractive woman of fifty. She had the same black hair and dark eyes as her son, and a trim figure. One white streak ran through her hair, no more than half an inch wide, but it did not age her, Chase noticed. He stared at it, and she reached up and touched her hair with a faint smile. “I almost dyed it once but decided not to.”

  “It’s very attractive, Mom.”

  “Here, come sit down.”

  They entered the kitchen, a cheerful room that was broad and long, with a dinette set at one end. Chase sat down, and when she brought him a glass of iced tea without asking, he gulped it down in a single breath. She got the pitcher and put it beside him. “Your letters have been an encouragement, Chase. Is the circus close by?”

  “No, I left the circus.”

  “But you said you liked it so much.”

  “Things happen. Tell me about yourself.”

  Lucille reached out and took his hand, holding it and stroking it with her other hand. “I’m very happy with Jack. I’m anxious for you to meet him.”

  “I’m not sure he’ll be so glad to meet me.”

  “Don’t be foolish. You’ll like him a lot.”

  Lucille had married Jack Matthews two years earlier. She had told Chase in her letters that Jack was an electrician with his own business, and was one of the kindest men she had ever known. Now as she studied her son’s face, she said, “I’m going to cook up a big supper for you. You still like steaks?”

  “Sure, Mom, but don’t go to all that trouble. I really thought I might get a room somewhere.”

  “If you want to hurt my feelings, that’s the way to do it!”

  Chase smiled. “All right, I’ll stay—provided you have plenty of room.”

  “Yes, we’ve got a guest room. Jack built this house himself. It has three bedrooms. He’s very proud of it and so am I.”

  “It’s a fine house, Mom.”

  “Come along,” she said. “I know you’re tired.”

  She led him to a bedroom with an adjoining bath and said, “Why don’t you shower and get comfortable? Lie down and take a nap. Jack will be home in about an hour, and we’ll have supper.”

  “All right, Mom.” Before she could turn to leave, he reached out and touched the silver streak in her hair. “I expect I put that there,” he murmured.

  Lucille took his hand and held it against her cheek for a moment. “I’m glad you’re back, son.”

  ****

  “I can’t eat another bite, honest, Mom.”

  Jack Matthews grinned and shook his head. “She doesn’t believe a man’s happy unless he’s so full he can’t even roll over.” Matthews was a big, red-faced man with a cheerful smile and a pair of direct blue eyes. He was losing his hair in front but, even at the age of fifty-nine, was one of those men who get stronger as they get older. His hands were rough and callused, and the Florida sunshine had baked his skin to a brick-red hue.

  “She always was that way,” Chase said. He liked Jack Matthews, even on such short acquaintance. The man’s bluff honesty made it difficult not to like him. Chase noticed that his stepfather did not ask him any questions, yet as they drank coffee after the meal, he felt obliged to give them a brief history of his recent whereabouts.

  Both of them listened attentively as he spoke, and he didn’t spare himself any embarrassing details. When he related how Joy had shot the hobo and made the two men jump off the train, Jack laughed and slapped his meaty thigh.

  “Good for her! She sounds like a girl after my own heart.”

  “You’d like her a lot, Jack. She’s fit in well with the circus. And her brother’s there now. He’s a fine fellow too.”

  “How old is Joy?”

  “She’s eighteen, and her brother’s twenty.”

  Matthews held his coffee cup, dwarfing it with his big hands, swirled his coffee, and said, “I’m glad you came, Chase. This may be a bit premature, but if you want to stay around, I could always use a good man.”

  “I’m no electrician, Jack.”

  “I could make you into one. You’re smart enough, and all it takes is a little hard work.”

  Chase felt grateful to Jack Matthews. “I may take you up on that. I’ve gotta find a job.”

  “You don’t think you’ll be going back to the circus?”

  “Nothing there for me now.”

  Both Lucille and her husband felt the terseness of that reply, and Lucille covered by saying, “Well, won’t that be nice? You can stay right here with us.”

  “Oh, that wouldn’t be convenient for you.”

  “Yes it would.
You know I love to cook, and it would be good to be with you.”

  Chase could not speak for a moment. Finally he smiled faintly and said, “Well, what time do I go to work in the morning, Jack?”

  ****

  “There’s a letter for you. I put it on your bed, son.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Chase had come in from work and went right to his room. He had put in another hard day, but after a month of working alongside Jack Matthews, he felt a sense of satisfaction. At least, he thought, I can make a living once I qualify as an electrician. He stepped into his room, shut the door, and picked up the letter. He did not recognize the handwriting, but when he opened it, he let his eyes go to the bottom of the single sheet, where he saw Travis Winslow’s signature.

  He scanned the letter:

  Dear Chase,

  I was glad to hear that you have a good job working with your stepfather, and it sounds like your mother is in hog heaven to have you back. I am still traveling with the circus doing the human cannonball act and working on the trucks. Saving money to go to Bible school.

  I wish I had better news for you about Joy. I’m worried sick about her, Chase. That fellow Ritter hasn’t got a lick of sense. He’s got her in the cage now with him and all those animals, and I’ve got a bad feeling about it. I’ve tried to talk to her, but she won’t listen.

  One thing I guess I might tell you. She really misses you, Chase. I don’t know how you feel about her, but I suspect, from the little I saw, that you had some feeling for her. I think she loves you too. I wish you’d come back.