Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)

by L. L. Collins

  She had been the one that had gotten her mom a cold washcloth for her head, some ginger ale for her upset stomach, and her medicine when she was too weak to walk. This had been her life since she was ten years old. But if the doctors were correct, and she knew that they were, her job of taking care of her mom was almost over. That made her tummy feel funny and her eyes well with tears. She tried not to cry around her mom because it made her even sadder than she already was. But her mom’s eyes were shut. She hadn’t opened them in a few days.

  Lacey remembered the day that her mom and dad sat her and Aubrey down to tell them that they had some bad news. It had been at the end of her fourth grade year. She had been ready for summer and all of the fun that came along with it. She had heard of cancer, knew that it could be deadly. At her age, she had never known anyone close to her that had died or been really sick. Even her grandparents were still healthy.

  When her mom had said the words breast cancer, Lacey remembered looking at her mom’s crumpled face, then the tears dripping from her dad’s eyes. Aubrey had only been six and didn’t really understand, only that her parents were crying. Their eyes had been trained on Lacey, watching her. She had jumped up and flung herself into her mom’s arms, wailing so hard and so loud that she didn’t even know that it was herself.

  That day seemed like a lifetime ago. Her mom had gone through so many treatments, first a surgery to do a single side mastectomy and remove some lymph nodes, then chemotherapy, followed by radiation. After they had thought she had beat it and was going to recover, it had come back with a vengeance. Not only was it in her remaining breast, but also in her chest cavity. At that point there had been nothing they could do for her but try to make her last few months as comfortable as possible.

  Lacey and her family had spent as much time together as they could over the last two months. She had always been very close to her mom, and there were days she didn’t leave her side for more than a few minutes.

  A small movement broke Lacey out of her reverie. She stood, gripping her mom’s hand as she noticed her eyes fluttering open. That was a good sign, right? Maybe she would fool all of the doctors. Her mom would be a miracle.

  “Mom?” She hated how scared her voice sounded. She had to be brave. Her mom needed her.

  Her mom’s blue eyes, identical to hers, focused in on her, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She had to be strong. Aubrey and her dad were in the cafeteria. She needed to tell him.

  Her eyes flitted to the phone at the bedside, then looked back at her mom before she shut her eyes again. The phone would have to wait.

  “Are you okay, Mom? Are you in pain?”

  Tears filled her mom’s eyes and she shook her head just enough that Lacey could see it. Lacey took her hand. She was always so cold now. Her mom sucked in a breath, the oxygen in her nose assisting her breathing.

  She opened her mouth and attempted to speak, but a harsh noise escaped instead. She looked over at the table at the water, and Lacey took a small straw full and put it on her mom’s lips and tongue. She swallowed, her mouth curling in a weak smile.

  “I love you, Mom,” Lacey choked out, losing the battle of keeping her emotions in check.

  Her mom lifted her hand and caressed her cheek, and she leaned into her like she always did. Even though she had been in a hospital bed for a long time now, she could still smell her smell, the one that comforted her, loved her, and made her feel better when she was sick.

  “Happy Birthday, Lace,” she whispered, her voice cracking a few times. “My big girl.”

  Lacey sobbed, tears streaming down her face. She remembered. Tears began leaking from her mom’s eyes too. Even though she didn’t look the same as she did two years ago, her body ravaged by sickness, she was still her mom.

  “Mommy,” she said, something she hadn’t called her in years.

  “I’ll love you forever,” she whispered in response, her eyes closing with the effort it was taking her to talk. Lacey wanted to lay on her mom’s chest and beg for her to stay, not to leave her here like this. But she couldn’t. She knew it wouldn’t do any good. No one was listening. Not even God. But how would she take care of her dad and her sister? What were they all going to do without her mom?

  Her mom’s eyes blinked back open and she smiled thinly. “Enjoy your life, baby girl. You can do anything…” Her eyes closed, and she didn’t move.

  Lacey watched her face, frozen until she was shaken from her trance by the beeping of the machines in the room. Why were they so loud?

  “Code Blue, room 133. Code blue.”

  Before she knew it, the room was full of people and she was pulled against the wall by her dad, who held her in his strong arms as the alarm was silenced and the wires were removed.

  “Don’t do that!” she screamed at them, fighting to break free of her dad’s arms. “She’s just sleeping! Don’t turn that off! Help her! She needs medicine!”

  “Lacey, she’s gone,” her dad repeated over and over, his mouth touching her hair. “She’s not in pain anymore, honey. She’s gone.” She kicked and screamed. She had just told her Happy Birthday. They were wrong. She wasn’t gone.

  “Mommy!”

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  If you received this book for free from a website that gives away author’s hard earned books, shame on you. It’s no different than pirating music or movies. If someone’s not getting paid, it was stolen. If you like getting your paycheck, then don’t take mine from me. Buy your books from an honest retailer, or check out your local library.

  ~Author LL Collins

  Living Again Series Reading Order

  Living Again

  Reaching Rachel (Living Again #2)

  Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)

  Finding Forever (Living Again #4)—releases Summer/ Fall 2014

  Contact Author LL Collins

  www.authorllcollins.com

  Twitter: @authorllcollins

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/llcollinsauthor

  Turn the page for a preview of A.D. Justice’s newest romantic suspense

  Wicked Ties

  Available now!

  “Colt! Coming to you, buddy! Get ready!”

  Colt widened his feet and slightly bent his knees, getting into his stance as the batter took a swing. Just as his coach predicted, the ball flew in low toward him in his shortstop position and bounced off the ground once before he caught it and whisked it to first base.

  “Out!”

  “Great job, Colt!” Colt heard his father call from the stands but he didn’t take his eyes off the field. The sun was in his eyes but his baseball cap helped some in shielding his face. The bright spring day was perfect weather for a game. The vividness of the tulips, pansies, and daffodils in bloom colored the landscape. The slight breeze kept the sun from being too hot, but the heat didn’t matter to Colt. He played all summer in the sweltering heat and loved every second of it. But this, this was a perfect spring Saturday for baseball with his dad watching.

  Colt punched his glove a couple of times and took his stance again as the next batter swung. He loved this—the smell of the dirt, the feel of swinging the bat, and the sting of catching a line-drive. He was only seven, but he knew he wanted to be a professional baseball player when he grew up. That would make his daddy so proud.

  “Let’s get ‘em, son!” He knew his dad’s voice anywhere. He could pick it out of the crowd of parents on both sides of the dugouts with his eyes closed. He loved the game, he loved the crowds, he loved everything about baseball—but none of it compared to how much he loved his father.

  His father, John, worked a lot of hours and had to travel frequently, but he never failed to make time for Colt. Every day that he was home, John spent time doing something—anything—with Colt. He taught him everything he knew about ba
seball in their backyard. They had just started working on football, too, since Colt was close to being old enough to start playing on the local recreation league team. But Colt insisted that baseball would always be his first love.

  John also made it a point to teach Colt from an early age how to treat a lady. Even at seven years old, Colt could see how much John and his mother, Beth, loved each other. They unfailingly showed one another complete respect and trust. They were affectionate with each other and with Colt—keeping their small town Alabama home as cozy as possible. Colt felt loved, safe, and secure with his parents.

  After Colt’s team won the game, John took the family out for the standard celebratory dinner of pizza and ice cream. Afterward, John and Beth strolled hand in hand toward their home on the oak-lined street of their small town. Colt was secure on John’s broad shoulders and thoroughly enjoyed being able to touch the lowest branches of the trees as they walked and chatted.

  Late that very night, Colt heard voices coming from the kitchen. Sneaking out of his bed, he crept down the hallway, crouching low against the wall to keep out of sight. Just as he reached the opening to the kitchen, he heard his parents speaking in hushed tones. He could tell they were concerned about something but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. When they started moving toward him, Colt rushed back to his room and jumped in the bed. Several minutes later, John knelt at Colt’s bed, ran his fingers through Colt’s hair and whispered, “Just remember I love you. Always, son.”

  The next morning, he woke to his mother’s quiet sobs. Walking softly to his parents’ room, he saw his mother holding a piece of paper. He silently crept closer and closer to her until he could read the note over her shoulder. She never knew he was there and he silently made his way back to his own room.

  He was only seven, but he could read the one line the note contained. And he knew he was forever changed because of those eight little words.

  “You and Colt are better off without me.”

  The reception for the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Noah and Brianna Steele, was in full swing. They intentionally kept the wedding small, with only immediate family and close friends invited. Some of the close friends in attendance—like Shadow, Rebel and Bull—were all also employees of Steele Security, Noah’s security firm located in downtown Miami. The unbreakable bond was sealed between the “brothers” when all the men served together in the Army as Rangers, and finally in a remote area in the Middle East in the clandestine Delta Force unit.

  Noah and Brianna exchanged vows at sunset on the beach, with the bride radiantly glowing in her early pregnancy and the groom smiling from ear to ear, like he was the luckiest man in the world. Noah and Brianna’s relationship had been through hell and back over the past several years. But with Brianna’s return to Miami, they managed to pull the pieces back together and move forward as man and wife, stronger than ever.

  Engrossed in their nuptials and having eyes only for each other, neither Noah nor Brianna noticed the figure lurking in the shadows. The one person that was tracking their every move while keeping out of sight of the guests, the wedding planner, the caterer, and other workers. The one uninvited guest had crashed their private party but remained unannounced, unseen, and unheard. The one who patiently waited for the right opportunity to make a move toward the happy couple.

  When the wedding party moved to an outdoor event tent, the uninvited visitor patiently waited outside. There were plenty of ways to blend into the background—to be invisible and silent—when it was absolutely necessary. This was one of those times. It was absolutely necessary to keep quiet and stay hidden. The intruder’s sole focus was to wait them out, knowing that they eventually would have to leave the sanctity of the tent and head for their waiting limousine.

  The intruder patiently waited as the wedding guests danced, laughed, and thoroughly enjoyed themselves inside the fully air-conditioned tent. For everyone except the blushing bride, the champagne flowed freely.

  Bull, Rebel, and Shadow all met Brianna in the Middle East when she was on assignment as an investigative reporter. They were actually her assignment, but in a short span of time, they developed a close relationship. They became her brothers, in the same manner that Noah was their brother, and they each took that unspoken oath seriously.

  Bull’s commitment to Brianna and Noah was unconditional and unwavering. As Brianna and Noah’s brother, he felt a keen responsibility to keeping them safe, watching their backs, and being available whenever they needed him. He loved Brianna like the little sister he never had and she had more than proven her worth in his eyes.

  Brianna shared dances with her new husband, Noah, and then with Shadow and Rebel, throughout the evening. But Bull waited until the end of the evening to request his dance. He viewed his relationship with Brianna as a special one. He didn’t easily trust people and she had earned his trust—actually twice in one lifetime. No one had ever lost his trust and then won it back again. No one until Brianna, that is.

  “Can I have this dance?” Bull’s smile lit up his handsome face as he leaned down and offered his arm to Brianna. She had just taken a seat next to her husband to rest her weary, swelling feet when Bull approached.

  When Brianna first met the team, it was Bull who was the hardest for her to get to know. She knew right away that he regarded loyalty and trust as the ultimate test of friendship. If anyone failed that test, they would never get another chance. For those who passed the test, they would never find a more loyal friend.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, man. Her feet are-,” Noah started to respond, but Brianna cut him off.

  “It’s okay, Noah,” she patted his arm and turned to Bull, smiling warmly, “I would love to dance with my brother. I thought he’d never ask.” Brianna smiled as she stood and walked to the dance floor with Bull.

  Noah smiled proudly as he watched one of his best friends walk off with his glowing bride on his arm. There was no jealousy in their relationship. Noah knew very well how Bull viewed allegiance, honor, and trust in their tight-knit group. He knew when he met Brianna in the desert that he would one day marry her. There was absolutely no reason to ever question her love and faithfulness to him. She’d already proven that to him with everything they had been through.

  Bull was hurt when he thought Brianna had betrayed him. His trust in her was temporarily shattered. After she revealed the truth, and Bull understood all the events of the past, he realized he had been wrong about Brianna’s intentions.

  When Noah thought about it, he had to admit to himself that he was relieved that Bull was able to forgive Brianna for her breaching his –trust—even if it was for a good cause. It would’ve been hell living between the two strong-willed, hard headed people he loved had Bull not relented.

  Arm in arm, Bull escorted Brianna to the dance floor and gently twirled her around to face him as they began swaying to the slow music. Bull looked around the tent, taking in all the happy faces, the toasts and cheers of glasses clinking. The bride and groom’s deep-rooted love was evident to anyone who even glanced at either of them. He knew his friends would have a perfect life together. Not that there would never be problems, but their trials had only made them stronger and better prepared to face whatever the future may bring.

  Bull had accepted long ago that he would never have this—a wife, someone who holds his heart, someone with whom to share his thoughts or someone he could trust with every facet of his life. He was happy for his friends but it just could never be in his cards. That decision was made for him—inside him—long ago. He didn’t share his feelings, dreams, fears—or his love—with anyone outside of his group. He sure as hell didn’t give his heart away to anyone who could hurt him.

  “You look gorgeous, Sunny,” Bull said, referring to her with the nickname she’d earned when she first met them while on assignment. “It was a beautiful wedding and Noah is a lucky man. I can’t wait to be an uncle and help Noah teach that baby boy a few hand-to-hand techniques.”


  Brianna burst out laughing and put her forehead on Bull’s expansive chest. His high school football coach gave him that nickname because of his enormous and formidable stature. Following through on his duties was tantamount to his sense of honor—and one of his duties was to be an uncle to the baby growing inside of her. And his honor would not be impugned.

  Brianna shook her head in only slight disbelief at his statement and asked, “What if it’s a girl?”

  With an equally serious face and tone of voice, Bull answered, “She can learn, too.”

  When Brianna laughed, Bull finally conceded and laughed along with her. “Seriously, Brianna, I am looking forward to being an uncle. You and Noah will be great parents.”

  “Thank you, Bull. That’s so sweet of you. I mean that,” Brianna responded before straining on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

  “I want you to have fun on your honeymoon, but I want you to be careful, too, Bri. Don’t leave Noah’s side if you can help it. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Promise me.” His smile was gone and so was any glint of humor. He was instantly back on soldier duty and she was his charge.

  Bull’s sudden seriousness and frankness caught her by complete surprise. Bull was normally a man of few words, but when he did find it necessary to issue a command, he meant what he said. For him to specifically ask her to stay close to Noah and be careful meant he knew something she didn’t know. She knew that much about him, and she also knew better than to quiz him about it. Years of working on a “need to know” basis made him keep information to himself much more than the average person.

  Still, Brianna searched his eyes for any trace of worry or any other sliver of information she could use later to pry everything out of Noah. Bull felt her penetrating stare, knowing what she was looking for, and steeled himself against it. The last thing he wanted was to add undue stress on her, especially while she was pregnant, but he learned to rely on his instincts many years ago. Those instincts had kept him alive in many hazardous conditions.