Maybe This Time

by Anna King

  Moving closer, Josie put her arms around Annie’s shoulders, and this simple, kind gesture caused Annie to drop her head against Josie’s chest, her body sagging.

  Tm so sorry, Annie. I don’t know what to say. Look, why don’t you go home, or to the hospital, if it’d make you feel better. I can manage. Everyone’s pitching in to help.’ Josie gave a small laugh. ‘Charlie even cooked breakfast this morning, though he didn’t have a clue how to work the stove. He broke nearly a dozen eggs, burned almost a pound of bacon, and only cooked the sausages on one side. Honestly, Annie, it was painful to watch, but nobody complained.’ Hugging the trembling body closer, Josie murmured, ‘They’re a good bunch, Annie. And they’re all rooting for Pat. We’d never have got this sort of support if I’d opened a posh tea shop up West, would we?’

  Her eyes reddened, Annie gave a watery smile.

  ‘You’re right enough there, Josie love. They’ve been a tower of strength, God love ’em.’ Dabbing at her eyes with a lace handkerchief, she sniffed loudly, her body shuddering as she composed herself. Then, patting Josie’s hand, she said firmly, ‘I appreciate the offer, love, but I’d go mad sitting at home, and I can’t go to the hospital. The doctors have put their foot down at all the comings and goings. Mind you, they’ve been fair, I can’t deny that. But now Pat’s come round, they’ve limited visiting times to three people in the evening, and one during the day. They say too many people at once might be too much for him. Something about him needing plenty of rest. And seeing as Jane’s there, there’s no point in me going. We’ll know soon enough if there’s any news. Thank the Lord the hospital’s only fifteen minutes away from here, and ten minutes from the building site.

  ‘Now then, enough of this doom and gloom,’ she said briskly. ‘Those men out there need feeding, and as understanding as they’ve been, they won’t want to be paying out good money for Charlie’s cooking, else they might find themselves lying alongside our Pat.’

  ‘Charlie just wants to help. I expect it makes him feel he’s doing something. Speaking of which… I think the sausages are burning.’

  ‘Jasus! Sure and I’ve never burned anything in me life.’ Annie rushed to the frying pan, quickly moving it away from the heat.

  ‘Don’t worry, Annie. We can always blame it on Charlie,’ Josie quipped, trying hard to take Annie’s mind off Pat.

  She herself had taken the news very hard. Even though she hadn’t stepped foot inside the Flynns’ since the embarrassing debacle with Rory at the New Year’s Eve party, she hadn’t stopped caring about the family. Pat was like a brother to her, and she was worried sick about him. She’d hardly slept a wink since the brutal attack and had been one of the many visitors Pat had received. When asked her connection to the patient, Josie had answered, ‘I’m his sister’ without a moment’s hesitation. The ward sister had stared at her before saying drily, ‘I know the Irish are renowned for large families, but yours seems to have outdone itself.’

  Rory and Shaun had been at Pat’s bedside, yet what might have been an awkward situation was overshadowed by the sight of Pat lying in the hospital bed, his head covered in bandages, looking so pale, and so still. She had known to expect the worst, but nothing could have prepared her for the awful vision that greeted her. She would have fallen if Shaun hadn’t quickly helped her on to the chair he had just vacated. She had stayed for over an hour, and during that time the trio had hardly exchanged a dozen words. Yet the atmosphere had been warm, with no hint of animosity. It was as if she truly was one of the family.

  She had been to the hospital every day to begin with, at odd hours, but since Pat had come round and the new visiting restrictions had been put in place, she had stayed away to give the precious time to his real family.

  ‘Don’t forget, if you want any time off, you only have to say,’ she told Annie.

  ‘That’s grand of ye, love, but I’m best off working. It helps keep me mind off Pat, and what might happen.’

  ‘He’ll be fine, Annie.’ Josie squeezed the plump hand reassuringly. ‘He’s young and strong. You told me yourself that the doctors told you that would stand him in good stead. Besides, he’s a fighter, is Pat. He’s his mother’s son. And you wouldn’t give up without a fight, would you?’

  Annie patted Josie’s hand.

  ‘No! And I’ll not give up on Pat either.’

  All businesslike now, she returned to the stove and began dishing up the greasy food that the market traders liked so much.

  ‘Here, take these through, will ye, Josie? And tell anyone waiting they’ll have theirs in another five minutes. Oh, and Josie… Josie stopped, the large tray carrying four plates of steaming food weighing heavy on her arms, and looked quizzically at Annie. Her voice quiet, Annie said, ‘Will ye tell them out there I’m grateful, ye know…’

  Josie nodded.

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ she replied sympathetically. ‘I’ll tell them.’

  * * *

  ‘Jane, over here.’

  Jane looked to where the voice was coming from and felt a tingle race up her spine. Since the incident down the market, and the four accidental meetings since, she had found herself looking all around her when she was out alone, hoping that Barney would appear. The feelings she had for Barney Hobbs were very mixed. On the one hand she felt guilty for making friends with her adored Rory’s enemy; but on the other, she found herself becoming more and more attracted to him.

  Even though she knew none of her family would be visiting Pat until later, she glanced quickly up and down the street to make sure. Satisfied she had not been seen, she walked quickly to the corner.

  ‘Barney! What are you doing here? If any of my family see me with you, I’ll be locked in my room until I’m forty – and I’m not joking.’

  Barney tipped his hat to the back of his head and smiled disarmingly. That smile made Jane’s legs go weak at the knees. Afraid she would give her feelings away, she stared down at the pavement.

  ‘Yer worry too much, Jane. Yer wouldn’t make a very good mistress, would yer?… Oh, come on, love, I was only joking.’ He bent his head down and gently lifted her chin with his fingers. ‘You take life too seriously, Jane. You only live once, and I say make the most of it; ’cos yer won’t get a second chance.’

  Barney could feel the trembling of the innocent girl’s body, and he smiled inwardly. This was going to be like taking sweets from a baby. Barney’s gaze swept the street, for he too was not eager to meet any of the Flynn family, then he put an arm around Jane’s shoulders and led her off towards a small restaurant he knew well.

  When they were seated and their meal was ordered, Barney said, ‘Relax, Jane. None of your lot are likely to come in here, are they?’

  Calmer now, Jane looked at the handsome face opposite her, noticing the curious stares being cast in their direction. Leaning her elbow on the table, she covered her face with her hand, saying, ‘We seem to be attracting attention, Barney. They’re probably wondering why a man like you would want to be seen in public with a girl like me.’

  Her tone was light, but Barney could detect the misery reflected in it, and was surprised to feel a moment’s qualm about what he was planning to do. Annoyed with himself, he silently shrugged off the feeling. He had put too much time and effort into his plan to get to Rory through Jane to start going soft now.

  This was the fifth time they had met since he had rescued Jane from her would-be attackers. On each occasion he had contrived to meet her when he was sure she was on her own, and he always expressed surprise when they bumped into each other, careful not to raise any suspicion on her part. On those occasions they had merely talked, the object being to make Jane feel more comfortable in his company. But Barney was quickly becoming bored. He was too used to having women fall at his feet to waste time chasing them. If it had been any other girl but Jane, he would have lost interest by now. It was only the desire to get one over on Rory that was spurring him on.

  Barney hadn’t even considered the possibility th
at he would fail to get Jane into bed. No woman had ever turned him down, and he couldn’t see why Jane would be any different. Not that he would ever brag about it, for if Rory found out what he had done to his little sister, he would kill him; Barney had no doubt about that. It would be enough that he, Barney, would know. Besides, he thought as he looked across the table at Jane, he would be doing the poor cow a favour. No other bloke would be interested in her, not with that ugly birthmark covering half her face.

  ‘What are you smiling at, Barney? If it’s something funny, let me in on the joke. I could do with a laugh.’

  Realising he had nearly let his kind façade slip, Barney warned himself to be careful. Jane might be disfigured, but she was no idiot.

  ‘Oh no, it’s nothing, love. Just remembering something that ’appened at work. The manager of one of me shops caught an old dear shoplifting. When ’e stopped ’er from leaving she laid into ’im with ’er walking cane. Poor sod took a right beating. Well, ’e couldn’t fight back, could ’e? She must ’ave been well into her seventies. So while me manager was rolling about in agony, she walks off with a shopping bag full of me hard-earned merchandise. Anyway, that’s not important. I only came to the ’ospital on the off chance I’d see yer and find out ’ow Pat is. I know I ain’t exactly a friend of the family, but Pat’s a good bloke, he didn’t deserve what ’appened to him. Do the police know why ’e was attacked?’

  ‘No. The hut door was open, but nothing had been disturbed. It’s a mystery why anyone would want to hurt Pat, but at least he’s a lot better than he was.’

  A wistful look came over Jane’s face.

  ‘He’s talking more now, but he’s still very weak. The doctors say he’ll have to stay in hospital for at least another fortnight, and Pat’s not too happy about that. He wants to come home and can’t understand why he can’t. Mum and Dad won’t stand up against the doctor. And we can’t tell him how bad his injuries are. He thinks he just got a bump on his head. If we tell him the truth, and he realises how dangerous his condition really is, it could put his recovery back; at least that’s what the doctor’s told us.’

  ‘You poor love, it must be like living a nightmare right now. Here, have a drink, it’ll help settle yer nerves,’ Barney said soothingly as he poured some wine into the glass by Jane’s plate.

  Jane’s eyes widened in fright.

  ‘Oh no, Barney, I can’t. I mean, I don’t drink, and besides, I’ve got to get back to work. And my mum would throttle me if I turned up drunk.’

  Barney laughed.

  ‘Don’t worry, darling. Yer can’t get drunk on wine. Over in France parents give their kids wine with their meals, and not only in France. There’s a lot of countries that ’ave wine with all their meals, instead of a cuppa tea like we do over ’ere.’

  Jane looked at the clear liquid with trepidation, yet even as she struggled to decide whether to drink it or not, all she could focus on was the fact that Barney had called her darling. If she didn’t drink the wine she would look foolish, childish, and she didn’t want to upset him. Feeling gauche and out of her depth, she picked up the glass warily. Under Barney’s watchful eyes she gingerly took a sip, then shuddered.

  Barney laughed.

  ‘It’s all right, it takes a bit of getting used to. Tell yer what, ’ow about some champagne? I bet yer’ll like the taste of that.’ Turning in his chair, he called out, ‘Waiter, waiter, could I have a bit of service ’ere?’

  Again heads turned, making Jane’s embarrassment more acute.

  ‘Please, Barney. Don’t make a fuss, everyone’s looking.’

  Barney’s eyes swept the room.

  ‘So what, let ’em look,’ he said flippantly.

  The waiter arrived with their meal.

  ‘Your dinner, sir. Is there anything else you require?’

  ‘Yeah! I’d like a bottle of your best champagne, at the double.’

  Jane cringed. She imagined that all eyes were on her. Feeling like a fish out of water, she hesitantly picked up her knife and fork and speared the smallest chip on her plate. Within minutes the waiter had returned with a green bottle in a bucket of ice.

  ‘Come on, Jane, tuck in. They do a lovely steak dinner here. ’Ere, let me pour yer a glass of champers.’

  ‘Oh, no, I couldn’t…’ Jane started to protest, her words dying on her lips as she saw an impatient look come over Barney’s face. Not wanting to spoil the moment, she picked up the glass and took a sip, then another. Barney had been right, this champagne was much nicer than the wine she had tasted earlier. It was almost like drinking lemonade.

  ‘That’s better. I told yer you’d like champagne, didn’t I? ’Ere, get another glass down yer throat… Don’t worry,’ he said quickly as Jane made to protest. ‘Yer can’t get drunk on champagne. I wouldn’t let yer drink it if it was gonna get yer drunk.’ Refilling her glass, he topped up his own and raised it. ‘’Ere’s to Pat. Let’s ’ope ’e gets well soon and the police get the bastard who did it. Who’s with ’im now, by the way?’ he asked casually, wanting to know if there was any chance of bumping into one of the Flynn men while in the company of their precious Jane.

  Jane lifted her glass self-consciously.

  ‘Oh, we don’t have to be with him all the time now he’s come round. Mum asked me to go and sit with him awhile. He gets upset if he’s left alone too long, poor thing. I can’t blame him, it’s not very nice being in hospital. But he sleeps a lot; the doctors keep giving him drugs to keep him calm, otherwise he’d be out of bed and heading for home, and like I said before, that could be dangerous …’ She took a big sip of the champagne to help ward off the feelings of panic that beset her when thinking of her brother. ‘Anyway, once I get back to work, Mum might come up and visit if we’re not too busy. Josie’s been very good, but then she’s like a part of the family.’

  Not comfortable eating in front of Barney, Jane took delicate mouthfuls of the tasty meal, wishing she was at home and able to do justice to the unexpected treat.

  ‘That’s it, love, eat up,’ Barney encouraged her, pouring more champagne into her glass.

  When they left the restaurant, Jane staggered as the fresh air hit her.

  ‘Steady on, love,’ Barney laughed as she fell against his side.

  Jane gripped his arm as her head began to whirl.

  ‘Barney! Barney, I feel strange. Sort of like my head’s floating above my body…’ She giggled suddenly. ‘Oh dear, I think I might have had too much of… of that cham… champagne. I thought you said I could… couldn’t get drunk.’ She wagged a finger at him in mock anger.

  Barney hugged her closer, amazed at the effect the alcohol had had on her. Despite his urgings, she had only drunk two glassfuls of the sparkling wine, yet she was acting as if she’d downed the whole bottle. Guiding her along the pavement, he was dismayed when she started to call out to strangers, then began to dance and sing at the top of her voice.

  As they progressed in the direction of Barney’s home, he began to feel anxious. People were stopping to stare at Jane’s antics, calling attention to the odd couple. And that was the last thing Barney wanted. So far he hadn’t bumped into anyone he knew, but he was taking a risk by bringing Jane to his home. For all he knew someone might be watching them from behind closed curtains. Practically carrying her now, Barney made his way around the side streets until he was in his back garden, though he didn’t breathe properly until he was safe inside the four-bedroomed house.

  ‘’Ere we are, Jane love. You’d better ’ave a lie-down while I make some tea. I can’t take yer to work in this state, can I? Your mum would have the ’ead off me shoulders.’

  Quieter now, Jane allowed Barney to guide her into a large bedroom. She was so tired. Through an alcohol-induced daze she felt herself being undressed and futilely tried to ward off the strange hands that were stripping her. Something was wrong, terribly wrong, but she was too tired to prevent herself from being put into the double bed. If she could just get some sleep sh
e would feel better. She snuggled down into the warm feather bed and closed her eyes. She was floating. Floating outside her body. It was a nice feeling; strange but pleasant. The bed sagged as a weight climbed in alongside her and a warm body pressed close to her bare skin. And that was pleasant too – at first. Then it started to hurt, and by the time the real pain penetrated through her stupefied mind, it was too late.

  * * *

  Barney sat on the side of the bed, looking down at the sleeping girl. Jane was lying on her side, the ugly birthmark hidden from view, and the sight of the lovely face brought a sharp breath of shock to the back of his throat. Lying there so peacefully, she looked about twelve years old.

  Swearing softly, Barney got up and took a cigarette from the pack on the bedside table. Inhaling the smoke, he struggled with his conscience. All this time he had been planning, and now he had succeeded, but there was no sense of victory, just a sour taste in his mouth and a tight knot in his stomach. Cursing, he began to dress. Within minutes he was fully clothed, wanting only now to get Jane out of his house, and back to her mother. Then he swung round, startled to hear his name whispered.

  ‘Barney! What did you do, Barney?’

  Jane was looking up at him, her blue eyes filled with tears and hurt betrayal.

  His voice hard now, he snapped, ‘Get dressed and hurry it up. I’ve got work to get back to, and so do you.’ His eyes were darting all round the room, anywhere but at Jane.

  ‘Please leave me to get dressed in private, Barney. I think it’s the least you can do.’ Jane spoke quietly and with dignity, and it was that fact that drove the burden of guilt deeper into Barney’s mind. Too ashamed to look at the girl he had used so cruelly, he left the room.

  Out on the landing, he sat down on the top stair and dropped his head into his hands. He was still there when Jane emerged from his bedroom. He went to rise but Jane’s voice halted him.