Longing for Love

by Marie Force

  “I need…”

  “What do you need?”

  She clutched his back. “You. I need you.”

  When she said those words, his slow fall became a rapid plummet as he gave her what they both wanted. He drove them higher, higher than he’d ever been with anyone, before the dam broke and flooded him with an intense desire to make her happy, to never disappoint her the way she’d been disappointed in the past, to protect her and her daughter, to keep her close. Always.

  Jesus, he thought. Where did all that come from?

  Drifting back down from the incredible high, he realized she was crying. “What, baby? Did I hurt you?”

  “No. No.” Her hands on his backside kept him firmly embedded within her.

  “Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. For the first time in longer than I can remember, nothing is wrong.”

  “Aww, Tiffany. You’re so sweet.”

  “Thank you. Not just for this.” She squeezed his ass and got his motor running all over again. “But for making me see that it’s possible to be happy again. Even if this doesn’t go anywhere, it’s made me happy.”

  “Good,” he said with a kiss. “That makes me happy, too.”

  Her hands moved up his back in a caress that made him shiver. Then her fingers were combing through his hair, and he was overcome with yet another emotion that took him by surprise—contentment.

  “You’ll be tired tomorrow,” she said.

  “And you won’t?”

  “I’m much younger than you are.”

  Laughing, he took a nibble of her neck to pay her back for the insult. He couldn’t believe he was already raring to go again after coming harder than he ever had in his life. Just when he was about to do something with that lovely erection, the baby monitor on the bedside table crackled to life.

  They stilled to listen.

  “Mommy.” The single word was faint but clear.

  Blaine withdrew from her, and she scrambled out of bed. He heard her rustling around in the closet, probably grabbing a robe, and then she shot out of the room. He fell back against the pillows, wondering if maybe he should get the heck out of there before her daughter caught him naked in her mother’s bed. The internal debate raged on for another minute before he heard the distinctive sound of vomiting.

  Tiffany saw her daughter through two rounds of vomiting before the little girl fell asleep in her arms. She was burning up with a fever, too. Tiffany sat in the rocking chair in Ashleigh’s room, rocking her gently until she was sure Ashleigh was fully asleep. She got up slowly and transferred her to the bed.

  “Is she okay?” Blaine whispered from the doorway.

  In the glow of the nightlight, she could see that he’d pulled on his pants, but his chest was still bare and his hair adorably mussed.

  “She is now, but she’s got a fever.”

  “That came on suddenly.”

  “Usually does.”

  “Anything I can do for you?”

  Tiffany shook her head. “I think she’s okay now.” She left the door open so she could hear Ashleigh if she was sick again.

  “How about you?” When they were back in Tiffany’s room, Blaine put his arms around her. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” She snuggled into his embrace, comforted by his presence. “Goes with the territory.”

  “You’re a good mom, and she’s lucky to have you.”

  “Thank you,” she said, arching into him. Apparently, she couldn’t be this close to him and not want him.

  His lips were soft against her neck when he said, “Lie on the bed.”

  Startled by the sudden command, she did as he directed and watched him kneel on the bed between her legs.

  “I never get tired of seeing you like this.” He bent to run his tongue over the sensitive skin he’d shaved earlier.

  Tiffany couldn’t believe how easily he took her mind off her sick child.

  He continued to lick and tease until she was on the verge of yet another orgasm. When he drew her clitoris between his lips, he made her forget everything but the astonishing pleasure.

  “I don’t know how you did that,” she said, still panting many minutes later.

  “Did what?”

  “I went from tending a sick child to that in less than ten minutes’ time.”

  “My special gift,” he said with a sexy grin.

  “You just wait. Revenge is a bitch.”

  “Do your worst.”

  “Oh, I will. As soon as I can move again.”

  Hovering over her, he kissed her. “We both need some sleep, so I’m going to go.”

  She looked up at him, memorizing every detail of his sexy dishevelment. “I wish you didn’t have to.”

  “I wish I didn’t either, but if Ashleigh finds me here in the morning, that could cause you trouble with Jim.”

  “I don’t care about him. It’s none of his business who I see. He made sure of that.”

  “While I agree with you, I still don’t want to cause you any hassles.” He kissed her once more and got up to finish getting dressed. When he was ready, he leaned over the bed to kiss her again. “I’ll check on you in the morning.” Glancing at the clock, he added, “Later in the morning, I should say.”

  “I’m glad you came over.”

  “So am I. Tonight was…amazing.”

  “Yes.” Tiffany wrapped her arms around his neck and took the lead in another kiss designed to ensure he continued to think about her all the time. When she finally let him go, he groaned, which made her smile with satisfaction.

  “Witch,” he muttered as he stood to finish buttoning his shirt. “Sleep tight.”

  “You, too.”

  She heard him close the door downstairs and fell asleep a short time later with a smile on her face.

  Chapter 14

  Carolina sat in her dark living room for more than an hour after Joe and Janey went to bed. Somehow she’d managed to keep up the pretense that everything was fine in front of them even as she continued to absorb the shock about Seamus’s decision. Now it was after eleven, and she couldn’t wait any longer to find out if she was the reason he planned to leave.

  She got up to grab a sweater and her car keys, praying the dogs wouldn’t bark and give her away. As she tiptoed to the front door, she almost laughed at the absurdity of sneaking out of her own home in the dark of night. Unfortunately, nothing about this situation was funny.

  Riley appeared out of the darkness, dragging himself on his front paws.

  Startled, Carolina stopped short. “Don’t worry, boy. Everything is fine.” She gave him a pat on the head and felt his intense stare on her back as she pulled the door closed behind her. Thank goodness dogs couldn’t talk.

  As she started the car and backed out of the driveway, she expected Joe to come running out to see where she was going so late. Her heart beat rapidly as she pulled away from the house and released a sigh of relief. She’d gotten out undetected. Hopefully, she’d get back in the same way.

  She drove into town and parked across the street from the Beachcomber. Praying she wouldn’t see anyone she knew on the way in, she snuck in the side door and bolted up two flights of stairs to the third floor room that Joe used to use. She’d offered up her home, but he’d preferred the room, as it was across the street from the ferry landing.

  At the top of the stairs, she took a moment to gather herself and catch her breath. When she raised her arm to knock on the door, she noticed her hand was trembling. Regardless, she rapped on the door and then waited. And waited some more.

  Great, she thought. He isn’t even here. She wondered if he’d returned to the mainland. Dejected and still in bad need of answers she wouldn’t get now, she turned to find him standing in the hallway, staring at her. He seemed shocked to see her outside his room.

  “Caro? What’re you doing here?”

  As always, his lyrical Irish brogue made her a little light-headed. “I need to talk to you. Do you have
a minute?”

  He made a sound that might’ve been a laugh or a grunt. “For you, love? I think I can spare some time. Come in.”

  He undid her every time he called her “love.” He made her want things she had no business wanting.

  She followed him into the small room that seemed to get smaller after he closed the door, sealing them away from the rest of the world.

  When he flipped on a light, she took a closer look at him. His green eyes were weary, and he seemed to have lost his sparkle since she last saw him. Was that her fault, too?

  “Why did you quit?” she asked, breaking the charged silence.

  Tipping his head, he eyed her with a combination of amusement and trepidation. “You know why.”

  “You can’t do this! You love that job. Isn’t that what you said?”

  “’Tis indeed what I said. I do love it.”

  “Then why?”

  “Caro…” He ran his fingers through wavy auburn hair, over and over until it stood on end. “Do I really have to spell it out for ya?”

  Her stomach began to hurt as she took in his tortured expression. “I guess you do.”

  “I’m in love with you. If I can’t have you, I can’t be here. ’Tis that simple.”

  She shook her head and held up her hands, as if to protect herself from the surge of longing his words inspired in her. “You… We… We spent one night together. How in the world did you turn that into love?”

  “Damned if I know. Some things just are. There’s no explaining them.”

  “Seamus, please. You can’t do this to Joe when the baby is due so soon.”

  His amiable expression hardened. “’Tis all about poor Joe, isn’t it? Poor Joe will find someone else. No one is irreplaceable. Especially me.”

  Carolina realized she’d said the worst possible thing by pleading Joe’s case. After all, Joe was the primary reason she’d kept her distance from Seamus in the first place.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you can’t run your life based on what’s best for Joe—or me.”

  “Are you serious? I’d rearrange my entire existence for the chance to be with you. I’d do it gladly for you, Caro. Not for Joe, but for you.”

  “I don’t want you to go.”

  “Let me ask you something.”

  “What?” she asked hesitantly.

  “If there was no Joe, would you give me a chance?”

  “That’s a foolish question. He’s my son, my heart and soul. No matter what I might want for myself, he’ll always come first. Always.”

  “And what do you want for yourself, love?”

  “That doesn’t matter. The day his father died, I made a promise to him that I’d always be there for him, no matter what.”

  “And you have been. You’ve made him the center of your life for thirty-seven years. Now he has a life of his own, a good life that satisfies him greatly. Do you think he’d want any less for you?”

  She shook her head. “He’d never understand this. He’d never understand us.”

  It only took two steps for him to cross the room to her. He framed her face in his hands, compelling her to look at him. “I dream about you. I dream we’re together, that I’m holding you and kissing you and sleeping with you and making slow, sweet love to you. And then I wake up alone, and it’s like I’ve lost you all over again. I’ve gotten so I hate to sleep because it ends the same way every time.”

  Only when he brushed away her tears with the sweep of his thumbs did Carolina realize she was crying. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this—”

  He brought his lips down hard on hers, surrounding her with his strong arms and his scent and the magic he made with the soft press of his lips and the insistent strokes of his tongue. “I’ve been starving for you,” he said gruffly before going back for more.

  Carolina clung to him as the understanding that she, too, had been starving settled over her like a blanket, warming her from the inside out.

  “Caro, Caro,” he whispered as he worshiped her neck, “I’ve tried so hard to stop thinking about you, to stop wanting you, but it only gets worse instead of better. God, I love you so damned much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, nothing I wouldn’t give to be with you. Nothing.”

  He took her mouth again, rendering her helpless in the storm of his passion.

  Even with Pete, it had never been like this. Nothing had ever been like this. While her rational side urged her to get out of there and go home while she still could, her heart and body cried out for him.

  Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her and turned them toward the bed. The next thing she knew she was falling, and he was coming down on top of her.

  She turned her head, tearing her lips free of his. “Seamus, we can’t do this. We can’t.”

  “Yes, we can. We’re both adults. We both want to.”

  She started to shake her head, but he stopped her with another kiss.

  “I’ll talk to Joe,” he said. “I’ll tell him the truth.”

  “No.” She pushed at his chest, seeking space and perspective. “You can’t do that.”

  His frustration was apparent as he rolled off her and lay on his back with his arm shielding his eyes. “Just go, Caro.” He sounded so defeated that her heart broke, knowing she’d done that to him. “If there’s no changing your mind, please go.”

  The pain she heard in his voice made her ache. She rested a hand over his hammering heart. “It’s not that I don’t want you, too.”

  Raising his arm off his face, he stared at her, incredulous. “Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I don’t feel how much you want me in every kiss? That I don’t see it every time you look at me?”

  Astounded by his impassioned words, she had no idea what to say. “I—”

  “Please, love, just go. I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.”

  “I don’t want to go.”

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “But you can’t stay, either, can you?”

  She shook her head.

  “Hell of a dilemma.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I, love. So am I.” With another kiss to the palm of her hand, he released her.

  Carolina stood on trembling legs. Her lips burned from the force of his kisses. She felt rather than saw him standing behind her. Imagines of the long, lonely winter she’d passed thinking about him and the night they’d spent together flashed through her mind.

  Now was the time to be honest, finally, with herself. Not a day had gone by since they were together that she hadn’t yearned to be with him, to talk to him, to hear that lyrical brogue and the outrageous things he said that made her feel so safe and adored.

  “I’ll talk to Joe.” The words were out of her mouth before she took the time to ponder the implications.

  “You’ll talk to him about what?”

  Carolina forced herself to turn and face him. She owed him that much. “I’ll talk to him about what I want.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “You,” she said softly. “I want you.”

  He rested his hand on his heart. “Don’t say that if you don’t really mean it, and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t say it so I’ll stay and run the business for your son.”

  Carolina rested her fingers on his lips. “I never say anything I don’t mean, and this has nothing at all to do with the business.”

  His eyes lit up with delight, and for an instant, he resembled his old self. “You’re making me all giddy with foolish hope, love.”

  For the first time since she stepped into the room, she smiled. “You have such a way of saying things.”

  “I have so many things I’d like to say to you.” He put his arms around her and drew her in close to him.

  Carolina closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around his waist and breathed in the scent that had haunted her since the last time she’d been close to him.
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br />   “I worry I won’t live long enough to tell you all the things I want to tell you.”

  “I’ll talk to him.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  The baby woke Janey from a deep sleep with a sharp kick to the ribs. It was still strange at times to realize a life was growing inside her, letting its mother know that she was in for a wild ride. Janey rested a hand on her belly, smiling when she felt the ripple of life travel from one side of her belly to another.

  “What’s wrong?” Joe asked, yawning.

  “Feel this.” She took his hand and rested it on the baby bump.

  “Wow. That’s amazing.” He never failed to stir her with his excitement about the baby they hadn’t planned to have quite yet. “Does it feel weird inside?”

  “Sort of. He’s kicking hard enough to wake me up.”

  Joe kept his hand next to hers on her belly. “So he’s a he now?”

  They’d decided not to find out what they were having and took turns coming up with nicknames and interchanging pronouns. “For the moment.” Seeking a more comfortable position, Janey shifted onto her side to face her husband. “Why are you awake?”

  “No reason.”

  “You’re thinking about the business.”

  “Maybe a little. Nothing to worry about, hon.”

  “I’ve been thinking, too.”

  “About what?”

  “Maybe I should take a leave of absence for a year—”

  “No. No way. That’s not happening.”

  “Hear me out.”

  “I don’t want to hear you talk about not going back to school. You’re so close to being done. You can’t quit now.”

  “I wouldn’t quit. I’d just be postponing a bit.”

  “No.”

  “Maybe this situation with Seamus is a sign.”

  “A sign of what?”

  “That we should stay here this year so you can run the business and I can take care of the baby.”

  “I’ll find someone to deal with the business, and I’ll take care of the baby so you can finish school. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

  How could she tell him that the closer she got to delivering the baby, the more conflicted she became about where she belonged? Becoming a veterinarian was a dream come true, but having a baby and being a mother was far more important all of a sudden. After Joe had sacrificed so much to make it possible for her to attend veterinary school in Ohio, how could she tell him that she was no longer certain she wanted to finish? The thought of leaving the baby for hours on end to attend classes and labs and then to come home to all the studying… What sort of mother would she be if her baby never saw her?