Diagnosis: Daddy

by Gina Wilkins

  He’d brought gifts for Connor and Mia as well. Glad that she’d thought to buy a nice muffler and luxuriously soft leather gloves for him, Mia thanked him and good-naturedly scolded him for the too-expensive perfume and designer scarf he’d given to her. Duncan waved off her protests, looking as though he were basking in being the center of attention that evening, along with Alexis, of course.

  As soon as Duncan was on his way, Mia tucked a still-hyper Alexis into bed, reminding her that she had to go to sleep so Santa could come.

  “My mom used to say that to me, too,” Connor remarked as he and Mia tucked gifts beneath the tree a half hour later. “I had an image of Santa lurking outside my bedroom window, waiting for my eyes to close so he could sneak into the house.”

  Mia laughed quietly. “Stalker Santa? Creepy.”

  He grinned. “It worked, I guess. Christmas Eve was the one night of the year I never argued with my mom about bedtime.”

  “Are you sure you won’t come with Alexis and me to my family’s house tomorrow for Christmas dinner?” she asked, sitting back on her heels to look at him beseechingly. “It would mean so much to Alexis.”

  “Alexis won’t even notice I’m not there,” he replied lightly, fussing with a couple of gifts to avoid meeting her eyes. “I’m sure your parents have gifts for her, and she’ll be busy playing with your niece and nephew. She’ll have a great time. I really need the hours to read over the starting material for my neurosciences class.”

  That class wouldn’t start for another week. She strongly suspected that he was using studying as an excuse to avoid accompanying her. She wasn’t sure why because he’d seemed to have such a nice time with her family at Thanksgiving. Was he afraid of intruding? Was he making a point not to get too intimately tangled up in her life, because they’d agreed to keep some distance in their relationship?

  He’d been pleasant enough since that discussion, and their equally hectic schedules had prevented any repeats of their near mistake, but that didn’t mean Mia had forgotten how it had felt to be in his arms. Or that she had stopped reliving that interlude and secretly fantasizing about kissing him again. There had been times when their eyes had met and she’d been pretty sure she’d seen the memories in his expression as well…but he’d always turned away before she could be sure.

  “I don’t want to take your daughter away from you on Christmas.”

  He shrugged. “It’ll only be for a few hours. Don’t worry about it. We’ll have our time together when we open gifts and have breakfast in the morning. The rest of the day should be for you and your family. It’s nice of you to include Alexis. She’d be heartbroken if she weren’t invited.”

  Mia still didn’t like the thought of leaving him here alone on Christmas. For one thing, she thought he needed to spend as much time as possible with Alexis while he had the chance. Although he and his daughter still got along very well, they weren’t moving forward at the rate Mia would have liked.

  Was that her fault in some way? she fretted. Was she too involved in Alexis’s life, unconsciously pushing Connor aside? Should she start pulling back in some way—but if so, how? She didn’t want to do anything to hurt Alexis, and she couldn’t be sure that Connor had the time yet to step up and fill the gap.

  “Mia,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “Stop worrying. It’s going to be a great Christmas for everyone. Just wait and see.”

  She forced a smile and nodded, wishing she could feel more reassured. Aching for something more than she wouldn’t allow herself to put into words, not even for herself.

  Chapter Nine

  January was a cold, bleak month. Gray skies and damp chill greeted Connor as he left his house almost every morning. The days were so short that it was usually dark long before he returned home.

  The cheery Christmas decorations had been packed away, but somehow Mia kept the house bright and warm to welcome him home. Candles, crackling fires, the enticing aromas of home-cooked meals. There was usually laughter in the house, and music. Alexis enjoyed listening to the contemporary pop and alternative tunes Mia favored. The child liked to dance through the house with her dolls and stuffed toys while Mia somehow concentrated on grading papers and preparing for classes.

  Both Mia and Alexis always greeted Connor with smiles and reports about their days. He could almost feel the tension drain from his muscles as he sat at the dinner table with them, letting their eager words rush over him as he ate, savoring the laughter and the companionship. It felt good to have this to come home to, rather than a cold, empty house and a frozen microwave meal. Even though he suspected the girls, as he thought of them, would get along fine without him, he enjoyed sharing that time with them.

  Mia had just taken Alexis off to bed during the third week of January when Connor’s cell phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and received a jolt when he saw Patricia Caple’s name displayed there. His first, instinctive thought was that Alexis’s aunt was going to try to reclaim her. Shaking his head in exasperation, he reminded himself that he was the child’s father and legal guardian. No one could take her away from him now, he assured himself.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello, Connor. It’s Patricia Caple. Alexis’s aunt.”

  Very faintly amused, he replied, “I haven’t forgotten you, Patricia. How are you?”

  “I’m fine, thank you. How is Alexis?”

  “She’s well. She’s in school, making excellent progress there. She’s made friends and she’s taking dance classes.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. She’s happy, then.”

  “I think so, yes.”

  “Good. My mother would be pleased. And so would my sister.”

  “I hope so.” He groped for something more to say. “Would you like to speak with Alexis? She’s just gone to bed, but I’m sure she’s still awake. She would probably love to—”

  “No. Thanks, but I just wanted to make sure she’s okay. I told you I didn’t really want to be a part of her life from now on and that hasn’t changed. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t thought of her occasionally, though.”

  He still didn’t quite understand this woman. How could she just walk away from her only niece? Especially when that niece was Alexis? “You’re still welcome to visit if ever you change your mind.”

  “I know that. Thank you. Goodbye, Connor. Take good care of her.”

  “I will.”

  She’d hung up almost before he finished speaking.

  Mia entered the room carrying a load of Alexis’s clothes for the laundry. “I’m about to do a load of jeans. Do you have any to throw in?”

  “They’re already in the hamper,” he replied absently. “Patricia Caple just called.”

  She stopped in her tracks and he wondered if her automatic reaction to the name was similar to his own. “What did she want?”

  “She said she just wanted to check on Alexis. To make sure she’s happy.”

  “Oh.” Frowning slightly, Mia asked, “Didn’t she want to talk to her? There’s no reason Alexis couldn’t stay up a few extra minutes for that.”

  “I offered. She didn’t want to. It was a very quick, to-the-point call. ‘How is she? Take care of her. Bye.’”

  “Very strange.”

  “Yeah.” Setting the phone aside, Connor stood to follow Mia to the laundry room. “You know what’s odd?”

  Opening the washer, Mia stuffed in the clothes, adding a few others from the hamper. “What?”

  “When I first saw Patricia’s name—well, I had sort of a moment of panic. As if she were coming to take Alexis back.”

  Her face turned away from him, Mia spoke lightly as she added detergent to the washer. “She can’t do that, of course.”

  “No. It was just a knee-jerk reaction.”

  Closing the lid, she turned to him with a rueful expression. “I had the same one,” she confessed. “I thought maybe she’d changed her mind and wanted to come for Alexis. Silly, wasn’t it? For both of us.”

&n
bsp; “I guess.”

  “Do you want some herbal tea? I was just going to make a cup for myself.”

  “No—yeah, okay. Sounds good. Anything I can do to help?”

  She was already filling the kettle. “No, thanks. There’s more of that cake in the fridge, if you want any.”

  Shaking his head, he sat at the kitchen table to watch her. “I’m good.”

  She busied herself taking out cups and tea canisters. A glossy cover on the table caught his eye and he picked up the booklet curiously. A muscle tightened in his jaw when he realized what he was holding.

  “Grad school brochures,” he murmured.

  She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. I was just studying them today, making some notes about entry requirements. I’m not ready to apply yet, of course, but I thought I should start taking some steps in that direction.”

  He set the brochure aside a bit too quickly. He had to admit the reminder that she was still making plans to leave, to take up her own life eventually, had shaken him. Stupid, he thought crankily. Why was he surprised? Apparently, Patricia’s call had rattled him more than he’d realized.

  “You, uh, have a timetable in mind?” he asked, trying to speak casually.

  Her own tone was equally offhanded. “I thought I’d start sending applications later this year. I could start classes next January, maybe, if they’d let me start midterm. If not, I’d wait until the following fall. That should give me plenty of time to put my finances and plans in order.”

  Roughly a year and a half, tops. He’d be starting his third year of medical school. From all reports, it got a little easier after that. A matter of perspective, of course.

  Alexis would be a third-grader. Eight years old. Even though it seemed a long way off, he knew the time would pass all too quickly.

  Mia set his steaming cup in front of him and took a seat across the table. Echoing his own thoughts, she mused, “It seems like a long time, but it will probably go by before we realize it. Funny how fast a year slips past as we get a little older, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah. Funny.” He gripped his cup between his hands and gazed into it, having no desire yet to taste the tea. “You know, it occurs to me that we didn’t talk about this part much before you moved in.”

  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked at him. “What part?”

  “The ending part. I mean, you moved in so quickly and then Alexis was here and we had to take care of a lot of details in a short time…” He shook his head. “We said all along that it would only be temporary, until we could make other arrangements, but I’m not sure we were prepared for the reality of it all. Of her. I didn’t realize how strongly Alexis would bond with you. She adores you, Mia.”

  Mia took a careful sip of the tea, then set the cup on the table. Giving herself a moment, perhaps? “I adore her, too,” she said softly. “And, no, I wasn’t prepared for that. She was just a…a concept at the time. Not a real flesh-and-blood, utterly lovable child.”

  She glanced briefly up at him. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt Alexis. I want to reassure her that, one way or another, I’ll always be a part of her life now. Like the aunt Patricia should be to her.”

  He nodded, forcing himself to say, “We’re going to have to talk about your leaving, eventually. About how best to prepare her for it. Not that there’s any hurry, of course. You’re welcome here for as long as you want to stay. And, well, for now, she needs you here. As do I.”

  He saw her throat work with a hard swallow. “I’ll stay as long as you need me, of course.”

  So why didn’t that make him feel any better? Maybe because he wanted her to stay for some reason other than pity for the poor, motherless child and her fumblingly inept father?

  Looking down at her teacup again, she added, “We’ll work it out, somehow. We’ll figure out a way to handle everything in Alexis’s best interest.”

  And what about him? He swallowed, reminding himself that he and Mia had been friends before and would remain so in the future. Even if she wasn’t living with him. Even if she weren’t there to greet him every evening with a smile and conversation. Even if…

  Even if she found someone else to share her meals with. To have children of her own with.

  He pushed himself abruptly away from the table. “I’ve got some notes to write tonight. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

  “What about your tea?”

  He didn’t want it, but he picked up the cup anyway because she’d gone to the trouble to make it for him. “Thanks. Good night, Mia.”

  Still sitting at the table as he moved rapidly away, she said after him, “Good night, Connor.”

  The kitchen looked as though a tornado had ripped through a bakery and scattered flour, sugar and decorations haphazardly across the counters. Mia winced as she stepped on a sugar heart, feeling it crunch beneath her shoe into the kitchen floor tile. Listening to a spate of giggles and chatter from the living room, she picked up a kitchen towel to begin cleaning.

  “Man,” Connor said, looking around in surprise when he entered from the carport. “What happened in here?”

  “Three first-graders happened in here,” she replied with a slightly weary-edged smile. “We made and decorated cupcakes. That kept them busy for half an hour.”

  Another burst of girlish laughter drew his attention toward the doorway. “Oh, I forgot. Tonight’s the sleepover, isn’t it?”

  Alexis had begged to have McKenzie and Kayla over for this last Friday night in January, and Mia had given in after being reassured by Connor that he didn’t mind. As long as Mia didn’t mind if he wasn’t there much to help, he’d added. He’d probably be spending quite a bit of time with his study group while the sleepover was taking place.

  It was just after seven now. She’d actually expected him to be later. “Have you had dinner? I made pizza for the girls. I think there are a couple of slices left in the fridge.”

  “Thanks, but I ate with the group. Haley made a big pot of stew and some corn bread.”

  “Sounds good.”

  He shrugged. “I like your soup better. She was a little heavy-handed with the seasonings.”

  Unreasonably pleased with the off-handed compliment, she said, “The girls are playing with the video game. I told them they could stay up until nine. I figured that way they’d maybe be asleep by ten.”

  “Yeah, good luck with that.”

  A crash came from the other room, followed by a wail. “You broke it! I told you to wait and let Mia do it!”

  It was the first time Mia had heard Alexis sound genuinely angry.

  “I didn’t mean to!” That sounded like McKenzie. “I just wanted to—”

  “Mia! McKenzie broke my—”

  “No, I didn’t—”

  “Yes, you did, McKenzie,” Kayla piped in. “I saw you.”

  Mia and Connor were already moving to intercede.

  They found Alexis red-cheeked and tearful in front of the video game console, her lower lip trembling as she confronted McKenzie, who looked guilty and a bit defiant.

  “What’s the problem?” Mia asked.

  “McKenzie broke—”

  “I was just—”

  “I told her to wait, but she—”

  “McKenzie never listens,” Kayla proclaimed dolefully.

  Connor held up a hand. “Pipe down, girls. Let me look at it.”

  “McKenzie wanted to put a new game disk in and she knocked it off the stand,” Kayla reported while Alexis buried her head in Mia’s leg with a despairing sob.

  “I put it back,” McKenzie said defensively. “It’s not broken or anything. See?”

  “But it won’t work now,” Alexis complained. “See? It doesn’t do anything when I push the buttons on my controller.”

  Connor was kneeling in front of the game, doing something with the wires that connected it to the television. “Okay, try it now.”

  Her breath hitching, Alexis pressed a button. The game
played a funny, blooping sound and cartoon characters appeared on the television screen, ready for action.

  “One of the wires came out of its socket,” he said, straightening with a smile. “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not broken?” Alexis asked for confirmation.

  “No, it’s not broken,” he assured her. “So there’s no reason for anyone to be mad. It was just an accident.”

  Alexis looked somberly at her friends. “Okay.”

  Still somewhat crestfallen, McKenzie glanced sideways up at Connor. “I didn’t mean to.”

  He patted her red head. “I know you didn’t. Don’t worry about it. What were you girls playing?”

  “We were playing the Barbie game, but we wanted to do the bowling game,” Kayla replied.

  “I told McKenzie that Mia would change the disk for us, but she had to try to do it herself,” Alexis murmured.

  Mia touched Alexis’s shoulder. “Be a gracious hostess,” she murmured, just for Alexis’s ears. “Don’t make McKenzie feel worse, okay?”

  Alexis bit her lip, looking on the verge of tears again and making Mia realize just how rare it was that she had to correct the child’s behavior.

  “I’ll put the bowling game in for you,” Connor offered quickly.

  “I don’t know how to play,” Kayla said.

  “I’ll show you. Want me to play a couple of games with you?”

  McKenzie’s face brightened. “That would be fun.”

  Alexis looked up at Mia. “Will you play, too?”

  “I need to clean the kitchen. Play with your friends and your daddy, and then we’ll all have a cupcake, okay?”

  Nodding, Alexis rejoined the others. Giving Connor an encouraging smile over the three little heads, Mia turned back to the kitchen.

  An hour later, Connor was closed in his room and the girls sat around the kitchen table, eating the cupcakes they had decorated. Mia had provided pink frosting and assorted candies and sprinkles, and the girls had applied them liberally. Wreathed in smiles again, their little faces were amusingly smeared with the results of their culinary artwork.