by Gina Wilkins
Mia wouldn’t say that she, herself, was happy during those two weeks. But at least she was protecting herself from future heartbreak, she rationalized. Refusing to allow herself to get caught up in fantasy and foolish hope. That was the wisest course for her to take. Right?
So why was she so painfully empty whenever she stopped running long enough just to let herself feel?
It was another rainy Saturday afternoon, and Mia was mopping the kitchen floor when Connor came in. He stopped with a comical overbalance to keep himself from stepping on the wet tiles. “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t know you were mopping.”
“It’s okay. You can walk across it.”
She smiled a little as he made his way across the floor with exaggerated tiptoes, setting down as little of his feet as possible. “Where’s Alexis?” he asked, when he made it safely to the wood floor of the living room.
“She’s still at the dance school party. Connie’s bringing her home afterward. She should be home in about an hour.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about the party.” He pushed a hand through his hair. “Anything I can do to help you?”
“No, I’m finished.” She set the mop in the laundry room. She wore a soft pair of slippers with her jeans and green, V-neck T-shirt, so she didn’t worry about crossing the damp floor. “How did your study session go today?”
“Pretty well, I think. We got through all the lecture notes from the past week, so we’re caught up for Monday.”
“That’s good. You got a couple of things from the school in today’s mail. I set them on the table.”
“Okay, thanks.”
She’d left a half-finished can of soda sitting on a coaster on the coffee table. She picked it up and took a long swig of the drink that was getting a little warm and flat. She was thirsty enough that it tasted good anyway.
Connor flipped through his mail, then turned to her with a hand at the back of his neck. “You’re sure there’s nothing I can do? Laundry? Run the vacuum, maybe?”
“You did all the laundry yesterday and I’ve already run the vacuum. All I plan to do now is sweep the front porch and then I—”
“I can do that,” he said, moving in that direction.
“Connor, would you stop?” she asked, two weeks of pent-up emotion exploding out of her. “I get it, you’re trying to help around the house more. But to be perfectly frank, you’re getting on my nerves.”
He stumbled to a halt. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. I don’t need you to go to such extremes to make things easier for me here. I was taking care of the house perfectly well before you decided you had to ‘repay’ me for my efforts.”
Apparently she wasn’t the only one in whom frustration had been building. He planted his fists on his hips and scowled at her with utter male exasperation. “What the hell do you expect from me? Am I doing too little or too much around here? Are we friends or roommates or more? Damn it, I need you to tell me what you want.”
“What I want is for you to—” She swallowed the words with a muttered curse when the front doorbell jangled stridently to interrupt her.
“I’ll see who that is,” she snapped, turning. “But you and I are going to have to finish this.”
“Damn straight we are,” he muttered, crossing his arms with a mulish expression.
She opened the door without checking to see who stood on the other side, then reached out quickly to unlock the storm door. Her heart began to pound in dread. “Paul? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
Her brother reached out to catch her arm, his grave expression leaving no doubt that he hadn’t brought good news. “I came to get you. Dad’s had a heart attack. He’s in the hospital in Hot Springs. Mom wants you to come.”
Her own chest ached so much that it was hard to draw a breath. Dazed, she turned to Connor. “I—”
Connor was already moving toward her, concern for her softening his eyes. “Go throw some clothes in a bag,” he said gently. “Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t—Alexis—”
“Alexis will be fine,” he assured her. “Go be with your family.”
It took her less than fifteen minutes to pack. She wasn’t even sure what she’d grabbed out of her closet, but she thought she had enough to get by for a few days. Paul was waiting impatiently when she returned to the living room. He grabbed her bag and told her he’d be in the car.
“I’ll just get my purse. Two minutes,” Mia promised unsteadily.
Her brother nodded, shook Connor’s hand, then let himself out.
Connor handed Mia her purse. “Your cell phone was on the counter. I stuck it in the pocket inside your bag.”
“Thank you. Are you sure—”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he promised, smoothing her hair away from her face with one hand as he gazed down at her. “I hope everything is okay with your dad, Mia.”
She swallowed hard and whispered, “So do I.”
He brushed his lips across hers. “Call me if there’s anything I can do.”
Clutching his shirt, she leaned against him for a moment, wishing futilely that he could go with her. And then she turned away with a low moan and hurried toward the door.
Chapter Twelve
It was the longest week of Mia’s life. Her father had surgery on Sunday and after that, developed a fever that scared them all. Mia’s mother didn’t handle the situation well, becoming almost paralyzed by fear and dread. She clung to her children and Mia rarely left her mother’s side.
As concerned as she was with her parents, Mia also worried endlessly about how Connor and Alexis were getting along. A substitute teacher was handling her duties at the school, but she’d had no one to fill in for her at home.
Connor called her often for updates and to offer his assistance in any way she needed, but when she asked how things were at home, he would answer only with blithe assurances that everything was under control. She knew he wouldn’t tell her differently no matter how bad it was there, because he wouldn’t want to add to her worries. She paced the hospital hallways, her mind filled with dire thoughts about her father’s prognosis and about everything that could be going wrong at home.
During the few hours when she was able to sleep, she kept waking up, instinctively listening for Alexis before realizing where she was. After only these few months, Alexis had become so much a part of her life, a part of her heart, that she could hardly imagine life without her now.
As for Connor…she missed him so badly that she ached. So many times she wished she had his strong arms around her during those tortuous days. His phone calls cheered her and bolstered her. She had no doubt that all she had to do was say the word and he would drop everything and come to her.
That knowledge gave her strength. She didn’t really have the time nor the energy to dwell on her relationship with Connor during those days, but at the back of her mind she knew that she would have to reassess once this was all over and her dad was safely home again on his way to recovery. She refused to consider any other possible outcome.
Four nights after Mia had left, Connor was jerked out of his studying by a cry from Alexis’s room. It was after eleven and she’d been in bed for hours. He hurried to her, figuring she’d had another nightmare.
“Mia!”
Alexis was sitting up in her bed, her eyes open but unfocused, her chin quivering. He wasn’t sure if she was awake or still mostly asleep, so he approached quietly, his tone soothing. “What’s wrong, Alexis?”
“Where’s Mia?” she asked in a tearful mumble.
He bit back a groan, hoping this wasn’t going to turn into a sob-fest. He wasn’t sure he would be able to comfort her if she had her heart set on Mia’s administrations.
He tried to speak calmly, bracingly. “Mia’s visiting her parents, remember? But I’m here. Did you have another bad dream?”
She nodded tearfully. “I miss Mia.”
“I know, princess. She’ll be home in
a few days. And, uh, she’ll be very proud of you for being such a big girl while she’s gone,” he added, hoping that would encourage her.
Letting that soak in for a moment, she glanced around uncertainly. “I think I heard something under my bed.”
Was she trying to think of a way to detain him longer? Reaching the conclusion that she was only partially awake, and telling himself this was a normal part of childhood—he’d imagined a few monsters in the closet in his own boyhood—Connor tried to remember how his parents had handled this sort of thing. “You were only dreaming, Alexis. There’s nothing under your bed. Do you want me to look and make sure?”
She drew in a halting breath and nodded. She gathered her stuffed cat and her Valentine bear into her arms, then peered over their heads as Connor obligingly went down on his knees and looked under the bed. Just to reassure her, he also checked the closet.
“Not a thing in here to bother you,” he concluded heartily. “And I’ll be in the living room just a shout away, okay? If you need anything at all, just say my name and I’ll be here in half a second flat.”
Allowing him to settle her back down against the pillows, she asked, “You won’t go anywhere?”
“No, Alexis, I won’t go anywhere,” he promised, leaning over to kiss her forehead. “You’re my little girl and I love you. I’m going to take care of you and keep you safe, okay?”
She snuggled against her stuffed friends and nodded, her eyelids already closing again. “’Night, Daddy.”
He stroked her hair one last time before stepping back. “Good night, princess.”
Settling onto the couch again a few moments later, he allowed his head to fall back against the cushions as he released a long, gusty breath. And then he straightened and reached for his notes again.
A week after she’d rushed out, Mia returned to Connor’s house. She invited her brother to come in, but he declined, telling her he wanted to get back home before it got too late. They hugged tightly, silently celebrating, and then Paul drove away.
Carrying her bags, Mia let herself in the front door. She’d seen Connor’s car in the carport beside her own, so she knew he was home. She’d called to tell him when she would arrive, so he wouldn’t be surprised to see her.
The living room was empty when she walked in, but she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Talking and laughter. Connor’s and Alexis’s voices. How she had missed them both, she thought with a clench in her throat.
She noted that the living room was very tidy. Maybe there was a little dust on the tables, but everything was in its place. Anxious to see Connor and Alexis, she left her bags sitting in the living room when she went in search of them.
She stopped in the kitchen doorway and felt her heart trip at the sight of them. Alexis wore one of Mia’s aprons and was stirring something in a big bowl. A tea towel tucked into the belt of his jeans, Connor stood at the stove, ladling something from a steaming pan into a serving dish. The oven timer dinged and he reached for a potholder.
Alexis noticed Mia first. Dropping her spoon onto the table with a clatter, she pelted forward. “Mia, Mia! We’ve missed you.”
Catching the child in her arms, Mia hugged her tightly. “I’ve missed you, too, sweetie. So much.”
Connor set a pan of cornbread on a trivet before coming forward to greet her. His eyes searched her face, and she knew she looked tired and a little pale after her stressful week, but he said merely, “We’re glad you’re home. How’s your dad?”
“He was doing well when I left. Glad to be home, of course, and already getting impatient to get back to his old routines. Mom’s going to have her hands full making him follow all the doctor’s orders, but I have no doubt she’ll win the arguments. Carla’s staying with them tonight, even though both Mom and Dad told her there was no need for her to do so.”
“I’m glad to hear he’s making such good progress.”
“So am I,” she said with a heartfelt nod. “He scared us all, but the doctors said if he takes care of himself and abides by their instructions, he should be almost fully recovered in a matter of weeks.”
He looked at her mouth. She wondered if he was considering kissing her hello. She swallowed her disappointment when Alexis tugged at her shirt to reclaim her attention. “Mia, we made dinner for you. Daddy made chili and cornbread and he let me stir the dressing into a package of cold slaw.”
“Coleslaw,” Mia corrected automatically. “It all sounds delicious. I’ve had your daddy’s chili before and he makes some of the best I’ve ever had.”
Connor grinned and motioned toward the table. “Have a seat. I’ll serve. I hope you’re hungry.”
“I’m starving.”
It felt so good to be at the table with them again. Mia took a bite of thick, mildly spiced chili as she tried to listen to Alexis breathlessly reciting everything she had done in the week Mia had been away. Schoolwork, play dates with McKenzie, dance classes, a toy store and ice-cream outing with her daddy that morning.
“It sounds like you’ve had a busy week.”
Alexis nodded, her mouth smeared with chili as she took a big bite of cornbread. Mia assumed Connor had made his signature dish much less spicy than usual for Alexis’s sake. Normally Mia’s mouth would be burning—in a good way—by now.
Taking advantage of his daughter having her mouth full to get in a few words of his own, Connor asked, “How’s your mom, Mia?”
“She’s fine, now that she knows Dad’s going to be okay. I told her I’d drive down next weekend to check on them again, but I think they’ll be okay in the meantime. Carla and Paul will make sure of that.”
“I got a new doll this morning, Mia,” Alexis said after swallowing hastily. “Daddy bought her for me. Her name’s Penny and she’s going to be my new student.”
Dragging her gaze from Connor’s, Mia gave Alexis her full attention. “That sounds like fun. You’ll have to show her to me after dinner.”
Alexis claimed Mia’s full attention for the remainder of the meal and the two hours after that. Connor remained quietly in the background, letting Mia and Alexis catch up. He opened his books to study while they admired the new doll and Mia saw all of Alexis’s school papers from that week.
Bedtime came and Alexis gave Connor a big kiss before heading off to her room. “Mia will tuck me in tonight,” she said.
He wasn’t at all surprised. “Okay. Good night, princess. Sleep well.”
“I will.”
Turning, she tucked her hand into Mia’s and skipped off.
He stood to pour himself a cup of coffee. He told himself he could relax now that Mia was back to take care of Alexis. The past week had been a challenge, but he had survived it. Now things could get back to the way they had been before.
Even as that thought crossed his mind, he knew it was bull. Go back to when? Before he and Mia had shared the first real kiss? Before they’d made love on that one perfect evening? Before he’d fallen in love with her? He’d have to go way back in time for that one, he thought glumly. He suspected that he’d been in love with Mia for a long time, although he’d been too stubborn and too deliberately distracted by other things to admit it.
Nothing could ever be the same. He only hoped that whatever changes lay ahead for them, he wouldn’t get his heart kicked around again. Brandy had bruised it, Gretchen had dented it, but only Mia had the power to shatter it.
“That smells good,” she said from the doorway.
He glanced around. “You want a cup? It’s not decaf, I’m afraid.”
She hesitated, then shrugged. “Why not. Tomorrow’s Sunday. I can relax then.”
He poured a second cup for her. As he handed it to her, he thought back to the ice storm when a splashed cup of coffee had led to steaming kisses in the dark. He swallowed hard and turned half away. “We can take these into the living room.”
She seemed to be having a little trouble meeting his eyes, too. “Fine.”
He waited until she was seated o
n the couch, and then he settled beside her, placing his coffee cup on a coaster.
“How are you, really?” he asked, turning to face her. Studying the faint purple circles beneath her eyes, he wondered just how much rest she’d managed during the past week.
“I’m fine. A little tired, but just so glad Dad’s going to be okay. He’s only sixty-four. My family wasn’t prepared to lose him yet.”
“You’re never ready,” he murmured, thinking of his mother.
Shaking off the somber mood, she turned to look at him. “I felt terrible leaving you to deal with everything here on your own. I know you kept telling me everything was okay, but how did you manage?”
He smiled a little. “I’m not saying it was easy, but we got through it fine. Connie Porterfield was a great help. She took Alexis to dance classes and brought her home afterward. My study group met here several nights, so I didn’t fall behind. We ate a lot of takeout, I’m afraid, but I tried to make healthy choices. I had a little trouble learning to tie a bow in Alexis’s hair, but I’m getting pretty good at it, I think.”
Her eyebrows rose. “It sounds like you managed quite well without me.”
He gave a little shrug. “We got by.”
She started to say something, but stopped with a frown, turning her head toward the doorway. “Did I hear Alexis?”
“Yeah, maybe—”
She moved to rise. “I’ll go see what she—”
“Daddy!” The call came again, more clearly this time.
“Oh.” Mia sank back into the cushions. “She wants you.”
“I’ll be right back.”
He hurried toward Alexis’s room, wondering what the problem could be. She hadn’t been asleep long enough to have another nightmare, had she?
“What’s up, princess?” he asked, opening her door and crossing the room.
Although she sounded a little drowsy, she wasn’t asleep, and he didn’t think she had been as yet. “Would you check under my bed?”
