EG03 - Home Is Where The Heart Is

by Joan Jonker

  Edna was sorry now Joan had told her. She didn’t want to share that sort of secret, not when she thought their parents had a right to know. ‘Don’t tell me any more, Joan, ’cos if yer get caught and me mam finds out I knew what you were up to, I’d get into trouble, too.’

  Edna’s words had no effect on Joan. As usual, the only person she was interested in was herself. ‘He probably won’t want to see me again after letting him down tonight,’ she moaned. ‘But I’ve got the phone number of Burtonwood so I’m going to ring him tomorrow.’

  Edna snuggled down between the sheets. ‘Bring him home and let me mam and dad meet him. If he’s as nice as you say, they won’t mind you going out with him and then you wouldn’t have to sneak behind their backs.’

  ‘I’m not bringing him here!’ Joan flashed. ‘If he met me mam, I’d never see him again!’

  Edna shot up. ‘What’s wrong with me mam? She’s easy to get on with and everyone likes her.’

  ‘But she’s so fat and common! She doesn’t . . .’

  Edna was out of bed like a flash and she slapped her sister so hard across the face Joan’s head snapped back. ‘Don’t you ever say anything like that about our mam. I’ve a good mind to go down now and tell her what you’ve been up to.’

  ‘You promised!’ Joan held on to Edna’s arm and coaxed, ‘Don’t tell her, please?’

  Edna shrugged her arm away as though she found her sister’s touch distasteful. ‘From now on keep your lies to yourself. I don’t want to know what you do, where you go or who you go with. In fact, you can do me a favour and don’t even talk to me. Me mam is the best mother in the world, and let me tell you something else, I’m ashamed to say you’re me sister.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  ‘Yer know, you an’ our Billy are like a couple of daft kids on a Saturday.’ Eileen was relaxed on the couch as she smiled up at her husband. She tried in vain to cross her legs but gave up in disgust. She should really try and lose some weight, but it would mean going without chips and roast potatoes, a sacrifice too great for someone who loved their food. ‘Yez go out of ’ere with yer red and white scarves on, grinnin’ like a pair of Cheshire cats. It’s a wonder yer don’t buy yerselves one of them big rattle things.’

  Bill was combing his hair in front of the mirror over the fireplace and his eyes met Eileen’s through the glass. ‘You must be a mind reader, chick, I was going to ask you to buy me one for Christmas.’ Bill grinned as he plucked the stray hairs from the comb and threw them in the fire. ‘I don’t know why you don’t come to the match with us one Saturday. You wouldn’t half enjoy it, the atmosphere is marvellous when the Kop start singing. They make up their own words to the songs and they’re dead funny.’

  ‘Oh, aye!’ Eileen pinched at the fat on her elbows. ‘An’ ’ow would I get through the turnstile . . . jump it?’

  They heard footsteps running down the stairs and both pairs of eyes turned to the door. ‘There’s no hurry, son, we’ve plenty of time.’ Bill smiled. ‘I was just telling your mam she should come with us one day. She’d enjoy it, wouldn’t she?’

  ‘I’ll say!’ Billy chuckled as a thought struck him. ‘She’d probably march down the pitch and thump the referee if she didn’t agree with him.’

  ‘I think two fanatics in the family is enough,’ Eileen said as she looked from father to son with love shining in her eyes. ‘My two handsome men.’

  ‘What are you going to do with yourself, chick?’ Bill asked as he slipped his coat on. ‘Are you going to the shops with ma?’

  ‘Me mam’s gone to Mary’s to sit with Mrs B for a few hours. Since they got that television she’s never away from there. She can’t understand ’ow yer can sit in yer own room and watch pictures comin’ out of a little box. Mind you, I can’t understand it meself, but I wouldn’t tell ’er that.’

  ‘I’ll get you a television one of these days,’ Bill promised. ‘It’ll keep you company.’

  ‘I can do without one, thank you. We’ll need all the money we can get for when me laddo here gets married.’

  ‘I come out of me time in three months,’ Billy said proudly. ‘I won’t know meself, getting a man’s wage.’

  ‘We’d better get a move on,’ Bill said. ‘We’ll see you later, chick.’

  Eileen went to the door to see them off and when she came back to the living room a wave of loneliness swept over her. God, but it was miserable when they were all out. She sat down at the table thinking that if she was still in her old house she wouldn’t have to wonder what to do with herself. All she’d have to do was open her door and there were bound to be neighbours in the street to talk to. Or she could go up to the corner shop and spend an hour chatting to Milly.

  Eileen pushed the chair back and stood up. ‘I’m not stayin’ here on me tod,’ she told the empty room, ‘or I’ll go crazy. I may as well join me mam in front of Mary’s television.’

  There was a murder mystery on the television and Eileen wouldn’t budge until she knew who the murderer was. She kept looking at the clock, telling herself it was time to get the tea started, but her backside stayed glued to the chair until the play was over. ‘I’d ’ave sworn it was the feller with the moustache who did the killin’. Yer could have knocked me over with a feather when it turned out to be the girl that did it.’

  ‘It just goes to show,’ Maggie said, ‘you can’t trust anyone.’ She took the television very seriously and sometimes Eileen wondered if her mother really knew it was all make-believe.

  ‘It was a good film, was it?’ Bill asked as Eileen bustled round setting the table. ‘I bet it wasn’t as exciting as the match, though.’

  ‘We won again, Mam.’ Billy was so happy you’d have thought he’d scored the winning goal. ‘And Everton got beat.’

  ‘I just can’t understand men.’ Eileen stood with the knives and forks in her hand. ‘This city ’as got two football teams and yer’d think yer’d be glad when either of them won. But no, the fans are divided into two camps and they’re daggers drawn! Harry came back from watchin’ Everton with ’is chin touchin’ ’is chest because they got beat, an’ when he sees you he’s goin’ to get ’is leg pulled soft. Next week it’ll be the other way round an’ he’ll ’ave the laugh on you. Honest, I wish yer’d grow up.’

  Bill had bought the Echo on the way home from the match, and he’d been reading while Eileen was talking. ‘Hey, Billy, listen to this. It says here that Liverpool might be getting a new manager.’

  ‘Go way!’ Billy sat down near his father, his face agog. ‘What does it say?’

  ‘They might be signing Don Welsh from Brighton, to take over from George Kay.’

  ‘In the name of God, can yez think of nothin’ else but bloody football?’ Eileen banged the cutlery on the table. ‘Bill Gillmoss, take that coat of yours off the couch and hang it on the hallstand. If the kids left theirs lyin’ around, yer’d soon ’ave somethin’ to say.’

  ‘All right, chick, keep your hair on.’ Bill winked at his son. ‘Make a good referee, wouldn’t she?’

  ‘We’ll ’ave less of the “she”, if yer don’t mind.’

  ‘I think I’ll go out and come in again.’ Bill was still grinning. After such a good match it would take a lot to dampen his spirits. ‘See if I can get you in a better mood.’

  ‘Yer know, I am in a bad mood.’ Eileen was surprised herself. ‘And I don’t know why, unless that murder film’s given me the willies.’

  ‘I’ll take you out for a drink tonight, cheer you up.’ Bill dropped his head in his hands for a second, wondering whether he dare say what he was thinking. His shoulders started to shake with laughter that he couldn’t hold back. ‘We could take Harry for a pint to drown his sorrows after Everton’s defeat.’

  ‘Ooh, yer can be a bad bugger sometimes, Bill Gillmoss,’ Eileen said. ‘Yer sit there gloatin’ when Liverpool win, but yer’ve got a right gob on yer when they lose.’

  ‘It’s only in fun, chick.’ Bill stretched his legs. ‘And Harr
y can give as good as he gets.’

  Eileen and Bill were calling for the Sedgemoors at half seven and they were getting ready to go out when Vera arrived with Arthur. It was so unusual to see them together, Eileen couldn’t hide her surprise. ‘Gettin’ daring, aren’t yez, walkin’ out together? What’s brought this about, ’as Elsie Smith died, or somethin’?’

  A deep laugh rumbled in Arthur’s throat. ‘Vera’s decided that seeing as how she is now a single woman, we don’t have to worry about Elsie.’

  ‘Has yer divorce been finalised, then?’

  Vera nodded, her happiness showing on her face. ‘All over and done with.’

  ‘Yez are a lousy pair, deprivin’ Elsie of a juicy bit of gossip.’ Eileen laughed. ‘I wonder who she’ll pick on now?’

  ‘I don’t care as long as it’s not me.’ Vera stole a shy glance at Arthur before saying, ‘We thought you might like to come out for a drink to celebrate. Harry’s mam’s minding Carol for us, so we don’t have to hurry back.’

  ‘Well, you’re just in time,’ Bill said. ‘We’re going out with Mary and Harry so you can join us and we’ll all celebrate.’

  They sat in the snug of the local pub and Harry bought the first round. Raising his pint glass, he smiled at Vera. ‘All the best, and may you have lots of happiness.’

  Eileen lifted her sherry glass and said, ‘’Ear, ’ear.’ She put the small glass down on the table and fixed her eyes on Arthur. ‘When are yer goin’ to make an honest woman of ’er?’

  ‘Eileen!’ Bill was shocked. ‘It’s none of our business!’

  ‘Oh, God, ’ere he goes.’ Eileen was sitting on a round stool which was completely hidden under her huge body, so when she slid round to face her husband she appeared to be moving on air. ‘They’re two of me best mates, aren’t they? And best mates don’t ’ave secrets from each other, so there!’ She nodded to emphasise her words. ‘If yer don’t want to listen, Bill Gillmoss, then close yer lug ’oles.’

  Bill shook his head. ‘I give up. What would you do with her?’

  Mary leaned forward, her hair swinging from her shoulders to frame her face. It only needed one glass of sherry for Mary to lose her shyness. ‘Do what we all do, Bill, enjoy her.’

  Arthur was watching Vera’s face as he wondered how to answer Eileen’s question. It was six months now since Sylvia died, time enough for him to sort himself out and help the boys come to terms with losing their mother. They were beginning to smile again, mixing in with other boys and starting to enjoy life as young boys should. Arthur felt it was time now to look to his own happiness and he had no doubt that it lay with Vera. He knew their feelings for each other were mutual, but each time he’d talked of marriage, she’d said they should wait until she was a free woman before discussing a future together.

  Arthur shook his head to clear his mind when Eileen put a hand on his knee. ‘Wakey, wakey, Arthur! We’ve ’ad two more drinks while yer’ve been asleep.’

  Arthur blushed. ‘Sorry about that, I was miles away.’

  ‘Well, the men are goin’ to drink in the bar so we girls can ’ave a good natter.’ Eileen swivelled again to face Bill. ‘I can’t enjoy meself with my feller breathin’ down me neck.’

  Bill picked up his pint to follow Harry and Arthur. ‘If she gets too personal, Vera, tell her to mind her own business.’ He bent and kissed Eileen on the cheek, much to her embarrassment. ‘Behave yourself.’

  Eileen watched him walk away. ‘He’s an old stick in the mud, but I love the bones of him.’ She hung on to the table as she lumbered to her feet. ‘Shove up an’ let me sit next to yer. I can only get one cheek of me backside on this fiddlin’ little stool and it’s gone all numb.’

  ‘If you’re after a confession, then you’re out of luck,’ Vera said. ‘I’ve nothing to tell you.’

  ‘Stop actin’ the goat,’ Eileen said, her eyes rolling. ‘We all know you an’ Arthur ’ave fancied each other for years, an’ there’s nothin’ to stop yez gettin’ married now.’

  ‘It’s not as easy as that,’ Vera said. ‘I only wish it was. But I don’t know whether Arthur realises what he would be taking on. Carol will be with us for life. She’ll never marry and leave home like other girls do, and I want to be sure he understands.’

  ‘Vera!’ Mary looked at her friend in disbelief. ‘Carol’s lovely! Any man would be glad to have her for a daughter.’

  ‘Her own father didn’t.’ Vera sounded bitter. ‘He was ashamed of her.’

  ‘You stupid nellie!’ Eileen’s voice rose. ‘Arthur’s not Danny! Has ’e asked yer to marry ’im?’

  Vera lowered her eyes. She couldn’t count the number of nights she’d lain awake going over all this in her mind. ‘He’s mentioned it several times, but I keep putting him off. Now the divorce is through, though, I’ve no excuse for putting it off.’

  ‘I don’t believe I’m hearin’ this,’ Eileen said, her voice angry. ‘If you’re stupid enough to turn Arthur down, I’ll never speak to yer again.’ She picked up the three empty glasses and snorted, ‘This is more like a ruddy wake than a celebration. I’m goin’ for more drinks, and I don’t know about you two, but I’m goin’ to get blotto.’

  Eileen banged the glasses down on the bar counter. ‘Get those filled for us, Bill, will yer?’ She jerked her head at Arthur. ‘Come over ’ere a minute, I want a word with yer.’

  They were a noisy, happy group when they left the pub at closing time. The drink had loosened their tongues and filled them with a sense of well-being. The three women walked in front of the men, their arms linked, with Eileen in the middle telling one of her endless supply of funny stories. They were too interested to notice the Jeep parked on the opposite side of the road, or the young girl sitting in the passenger seat.

  Joan slid down in the seat and lowered her head to hide her face. ‘There’s my mum and dad.’

  Augie viewed the group with interest. ‘Which one’s your mom?’

  Joan heard Eileen’s raucous laugh and groaned. How could she tell him that the loud-mouthed, fat woman was her mother? ‘The one on the end with the long auburn hair,’ she lied.

  ‘She’s a nice-looking woman. Why don’t we just go out and say hello?’

  ‘No,’ Joan said sharply, ‘not tonight.’

  ‘Honey, are you ashamed of me?’ Augie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. ‘It sure seems that way.’

  ‘Of course not! It’s just that since I stayed out all night that time, me mum and I haven’t been on friendly terms. And I didn’t tell her the truth,’ Joan admitted. ‘I told her I’d missed the last bus and stayed with a girl friend.’

  ‘Oh, and you thought I’d let the cat out of the bag? Well, since I know, I wouldn’t mention it. So there’s no reason why you can’t take me to meet your folks, is there, honey? We’ve been going out together for months now, and I would sure like to meet them.’

  ‘I’ll take you home soon, I promise,’ Joan said, knowing it would be impossible now after the lie she’d just told.

  Vera rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror on the window ledge in the kitchen. There were dark circles under her eyes through lack of sleep, and as she ran the cold water to swill her face she thanked God it was Sunday and the boys and Carol were having a lie in. She’d have time to tidy around and make herself presentable before they came down for breakfast.

  By ten o’clock Vera had finished her work. The living room was tidy, the fire had been raked out and reset, and she was washed and dressed. But although she’d kept herself busy, she couldn’t keep her thoughts away from Arthur. Last night she’d had a good excuse for saying goodnight to him at the bottom of the street because she had to pick Carol up from the Sedgemoors’, and as she’d said, it was late. But he was coming this afternoon at two o’clock and she knew he wouldn’t listen to any more excuses. Vera took a deep breath and the pain in her chest was like a knife turning. She didn’t want to send Arthur away, didn’t want to lose him. She loved hi
m so much she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. But the fear in her heart wouldn’t go away.

  Vera called Colin and Peter as she climbed the stairs. ‘Come on, sleepy heads, time to get up.’ She knocked hard on their bedroom door. ‘It’s nearly dinner time.’

  Carol was already out of bed and trying, in her own way, to pull her dress over her head. ‘That’s a good girl.’ Vera pulled the dress down and fastened the three pearl buttons at the back. Carol was twelve now, and although she was a big girl for her age, she had the mentality of a four year old. She was able to do most things for herself but needed watching constantly. Vera never allowed her to play out in case she wandered off and got lost, and she’d never asked the other children in the street to keep an eye on her because she knew from experience that children could be very cruel.

  ‘Come on, down we go.’ As Vera walked down the stairs behind her daughter, her thoughts were on Arthur. He was very kind to Carol and very patient, and Carol thought the world of him. But would it work out?

  These were the thoughts running through Vera’s mind as she stood in the tiny kitchen frying bacon and eggs for breakfast. And when the children were sitting at the table talking she couldn’t concentrate on the conversation.

  ‘You’re very quiet, Mum,’ Colin said. ‘Have you got a hangover?’

  ‘I don’t drink enough to get a hangover, you know that.’ Vera smiled at her elder son. Colin was twenty and, like Peter, favoured Vera in looks. He was courting and spent much of his time at the home of his girlfriend, Glenda. ‘I think I’m in for a cold, ’cos my head’s splitting.’

  Peter rubbed a piece of bread in the bacon dip and his face took on a look of pure bliss when he took a mouthful. ‘You can’t beat a Sunday breakfast,’ he said, with his mouth half full. ‘Did you go out with Arthur?’

  Vera nodded. ‘And the Gillmosses and the Sedge-moors. We had . . .’ A knock on the front door took Vera’s eyes to the clock on the mantelpiece. Half eleven, and Arthur wasn’t due till two. ‘I wonder who that can be?’