EG03 - Home Is Where The Heart Is

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Cheeky bitch!’ Eileen said.

  Bill had been watching and listening with interest. He knew what was wrong with Eileen, she was missing the two chicks who had flown the nest. It was a while since Bill had thought about the baby they’d lost, but he did so now with sadness. If things had turned out differently, Eileen would have had a youngster to lavish her love on and wouldn’t be missing the other two so much. ‘Is that me nan knocking on the wall?’ Edna asked. ‘It’s either her or next door.’

  ‘It’ll be next door, but I’ll check to make sure.’ Eileen scraped her chair back. ‘Be an angel an’ clear the table for us.’

  Maggie was holding on to the chest of drawers for support, her face grey. ‘I don’t feel well, lass.’

  One look at her mother’s face and the blood in Eileen’s veins turned to ice. She’d never known her mam to be sick, ever. But she was now, you could see that by just looking at her. Eileen’s mind was telling her to move, to do something, but her feet were rooted to the spot with fear.

  ‘I think you’d better call the doctor, lass.’ Maggie clutched at her side as a sharp pain cut into her like a knife.

  ‘Oh, my God!’ The sight of her beloved mother’s face creased in agony galvanised Eileen into action. She stuck her head out of the door and yelled for Bill. He was beside her in seconds, spurred by the urgency in her tone. He took one look at Maggie and rushed to her side. ‘What is it, Ma?’

  ‘Terrible pains here, son.’ Maggie’s hand moved across her tummy. ‘I’ve been having pains for a few days now, but I thought it was constipation. They were nothing like this though, I’m in agony.’

  ‘Who’s our doctor?’ Bill turned to Eileen. ‘I’ll ring him from Mary’s.’

  ‘We haven’t got a doctor.’ Eileen was telling herself to be calm, her mam needed her, but it was hard. ‘We ’aven’t needed a doctor since we moved ’ere.’ Her eyes met Bill’s. ‘D’yer think Dr Greenfield would come?’

  ‘We’re not on his panel now. It’s too far to ask him to come. I’ll get Mary to ring her doctor.’

  Eileen followed him along the hall. ‘Ask Mary to tell ’im it’s urgent. An’ will yer ring our Rene while yer there, I think she should be told.’

  Dr Gray came out of Maggie’s room and walked to the bottom of the stairs where Eileen and Bill were waiting. ‘I think it’s appendicitis, Mrs Gillmoss, and I want your mother in hospital right away. Can I use your phone to ring for an ambulance?’

  Eileen was biting on her knuckles, fear written all over her face. It was left for Bill to explain they didn’t have a phone. ‘But I’ll take you up to the Sedgemoors’, it’s only two doors away.’

  As the doctor walked down the hall, Bill pressed Eileen’s arm. ‘Snap out of it, chick, for Ma’s sake. Go and sit with her but don’t let her see you’re worried.’

  Eileen couldn’t move. If it was anyone else’s mother, she’d run to hell and back to help. But this was her mam and her courage had deserted her. Edna was hovering near the living room door, the dirty dishes in the sink forgotten as she studied her mother’s face. ‘Don’t worry, Mam, me nan’s going to be all right.’

  ‘Do us a favour, sunshine, an’ come in with me to sit with ’er? The state I’m in, I’ll only make ’er feel a damn sight worse. I can’t ’elp it but I’m worried sick. So will yer talk to ’er and try an’ cheer her up?’

  Edna took Eileen’s hand. ‘Course I will. Come on, Mam.’

  For the umpteenth time, Bill went to the front door to see if there was any sign of the ambulance. Maggie was writhing in agony and although he tried not to show it, Bill was very concerned. He looked up and down the road and clicked his tongue with impatience. What the hell was keeping them so long? He closed the door and turned to find Eileen beside him. ‘You stay in with Ma, I’ll keep an eye out for the ambulance.’

  ‘I can’t bear to sit and watch ’er in pain when I can’t do anythin’ about it. I feel so helpless, Bill! I’d take the pain meself if I could, to stop her sufferin’.’ Eileen grabbed his arm. ‘She’s not goin’ to die, is she? Tell me she’s not goin’ to die, Bill, please?’

  But Bill couldn’t give Eileen the assurance she needed because things didn’t look good to him. And the doctor must have thought it was serious to send Maggie to hospital right away. It would be wrong to build up Eileen’s hopes. ‘I don’t know what to think, chick, I really don’t.’ He brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. ‘We’ll have to wait and see what the hospital say.’

  ‘It’s this bloody ’ouse, that’s what it is. It’s got a jinx on it. We’ve ’ad nothin’ but bad luck since we moved ’ere.’

  ‘Don’t be so childish.’ Bill didn’t mean to speak sharply but he was too worried to listen to a load of mumbo-jumbo. ‘I’ve no time for silly superstition and I’m surprised at you.’

  Eileen’s mouth opened, her face angry, but the words died on her lips when they heard the ambulance pull up outside. She shot Bill a withering look, then hurried into Maggie’s room. ‘They’re ’ere, Mam. Once yer in ’ospital, they’ll soon have yer sorted out. You mark my words, yer’ll be as right as rain in a few days.’

  Eileen bit on her lips so hard she could taste blood on her mouth, but she managed to keep the tears back until she saw her mother being lifted on to the stretcher. Then she broke down and it was Maggie who became the comforter. ‘Don’t cry, lass, there’s a good girl.’

  Bill was rough as he pulled Eileen out of the way of the ambulance men and bundled her into the back room. ‘I’ll go in the ambulance with Ma, you stay here.’

  ‘No!’ Eileen cried. ‘She’s me mam an’ she needs me.’

  ‘The last thing Ma wants is someone crying over her. And the state you’re in, you’d be neither use nor ornament at the hospital. I’ll stay as long as they’ll let me, to see if I can find out anything tonight. So pull yourself together until your Rene gets here.’

  It wasn’t often that Bill used that tone of voice to her and it had an immediate effect. ‘Yer right,’ Eileen sniffed. ‘I’m actin’ like a baby. You get off in the ambulance and look after me mam.’ By this time Bill was running down the hall, Eileen in his wake. ‘Tell ’er I love ’er, don’t forget now.’

  Rene arrived half an hour after the ambulance had left. She’d driven herself up in the secondhand Morris she’d bought six months ago after passing her driving test. She found Eileen sitting on the couch, her body hunched up, her face puffed with crying.

  ‘Bill didn’t say much on the phone, so tell me what’s going on? What’s wrong with me mam?’

  Every question brought a fresh outburst of tears from Eileen and in the end it was Edna who had to relate what had happened. ‘Me dad said he’d stay at the hospital until the doctor has examined me nan, that’s if they’ll let him.’

  Rene gazed at Eileen. She felt like crying with her sister but knew that would do no one any good. ‘You’d better buck yourself up, our Eileen, or you’ll end up in hospital as well. It could be something minor, perhaps me mam’s eaten something that doesn’t agree with her.’

  Eileen peered through swollen lids. ‘Appendicitis isn’t somethin’ minor, is it? The doctor’s not daft, he wouldn’t have sent her away so quick if he hadn’t thought it was serious.’

  Rene jerked her head at Edna. ‘Put the kettle on, love, there’s a good girl. I’ll stay till your dad gets home, see if he’s been able to find out anything.’

  Eileen made an effort at normal conversation. ‘Did you put Victoria to bed before yer came out?’

  ‘I was getting her ready for bed when Bill rang. Alan said he’d make her a drink, then take her up.’

  But when it got to eleven o’clock and there was no sign of Bill, Rene grew uneasy. Alan would be worrying himself sick, as he always did when she was out in the car. If only Eileen had a phone, she could ring him and put his mind at rest.

  It was just on twelve o’clock when they heard Bill’s key in the lock. All eyes were on the door when he walked in, and from
his face they knew he didn’t have good news.

  ‘Ma’s got a burst appendix.’ Bill ran a hand through his mop of white hair. He looked completely worn out and had been dreading having to tell them the news. ‘They’re operating on her tonight.’

  Eileen stretched out on the couch, a cushion under her head and her old swagger coat covering her knees. Bill had tried to persuade her to go to bed but she wouldn’t budge. How could she sleep when she didn’t know how her mam was? And there was no point in keeping Bill awake with her tossing and turning, he needed as much sleep as he could get before facing a day’s work.

  It was getting cold in the room now the fire had gone out, and Eileen tucked the coat around the sides of her legs. ‘I should ’ave banked the fire up, it would have kept the chill off the room.’ She folded her arms under her bust and sighed. ‘Bill was right, I suppose, when he said life must go on. But it’s not knowin’ ’ow me mam is that’s worryin’ me.’

  Eileen plumped the cushions, then lay staring at the ceiling. ‘You know, God, me mam’s a good woman. She never misses Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day, never swears or tells lies, and I’ve never ’eard ’er speak ill of anyone in me whole life. But I don’t need to tell You all this ’cos You know everything that goes on.’ A lone tear trickled down Eileen’s cheek and she could feel the warmth of it on her lips. ‘I know I’m always askin’ You favours, but this time it’s for me mam, and I’m beggin’ You, please don’t let anythin’ bad happen to her. Make ’er better, God, an’ send her ’ome to me ’cos I love her so much.’

  Chapter Twenty One

  ‘Did you manage to get any sleep?’ Bill asked when he walked through the door and saw Eileen sitting at the table, a slice of toast in her hand. ‘I was that tired I don’t even remember me head touching the pillow.’

  ‘Yeah, I dropped off a few times.’ Biting on her toast, Eileen rolled her eyes. Don’t count that lie, God, she said silently, ’cos it was only a little white one to stop Bill from worrying.

  ‘I wonder how Ma is?’ Bill reached for the marmalade. ‘At least no news is good news.’

  ‘That’s a daft thing to say! If yer’ve ’ad no news, ’ow d’yer know whether it’s good or bad?’

  ‘Because the police would have been here if there’d been bad news.’ Bill spread a thick layer of butter on a fresh piece of toast. ‘The hospital always notify the police if they need to contact the family.’

  ‘I’ll give Harry time to ’ave ’is breakfast, then slip up an’ ask Mary to ring the ’ospital for me. They might let me in to see me mam this afternoon.’

  ‘Go now, chick, before I go to work. Set me mind at rest.’

  Eileen had her hand on the knocker when the door was opened by Mary, a dressing gown wrapped around her slim body, her hair all tousled. ‘I was just coming down to yours. I rang the hospital because I knew you’d be on pins to know how your mam was.’

  ‘What did they say, kid?’

  ‘You know what hospitals are like, they never tell you anything except the patient is comfortable.’

  ‘Did they say if I can go in an’ see ’er this afternoon?’

  Mary shook her head. ‘I asked that, but the nurse I spoke to said no visitors until the doctor’s been on his rounds. She said to ring again at four o’clock.’

  ‘That means sittin’ worryin’ all day.’ Eileen let out a deep sigh. ‘I’ve a good mind to go in this afternoon and pretend I didn’t know. Act daft, like.’

  ‘You can ring later if you like. With you being her daughter, they may tell you more.’

  ‘Our Rene will be ’ere about nine, so I’ll wait an’ see what she thinks.’ Eileen backed down the short path. ‘I’ll have to get back to Bill, but thanks, kid. I’ll see yer later . . . ta-ra.’

  ‘I got the same as Mary at first,’ Rene said. ‘But I wasn’t prepared to be fobbed off. I blew my top with the nurse, said it wasn’t good enough and I was coming down to see the doctor.’

  Eileen looked at her sister with admiration. Rene was so efficient and full of confidence, unlike herself who was as thick as two short planks. How could two sisters be so different in looks and intelligence? ‘I bet yer didn’t swear once, did yer, our kid?’

  ‘No, but I was damn near it.’ Rene huffed. ‘I really gave her down the banks. Asked her how she would feel if her seventy-year-old mother had undergone a serious operation and someone tried to fob her off with the usual “the patient is comfortable”.’

  ‘What ’appens now?’ Eileen asked.

  ‘You’re going to get yourself dressed up and we’re going to the hospital. We might not be allowed to see me mam because she’s bound to be knocked out after the operation, but at least we can see someone in authority who’ll tell us how she is.’

  ‘You’re on, kid.’ Eileen heaved herself up. ‘Anything’s better than sittin’ here worryin’ meself sick.’

  They knocked at Mary’s to let her know where they were going, then called at the florist’s in Orrell Lane to buy an armful of colourful flowers. It was a tight squeeze getting Eileen into the small car, but Rene didn’t stand on ceremony and pushed her sister none too gently into the confined space.

  ‘Me nerves are shattered,’ Eileen said as they walked from the car to the main entrance of Walton Hospital. ‘I want to see me mam, but at the same time I’m terrified.’

  ‘Leave all the talking to me,’ Rene said, walking briskly down the corridor towards the ward and matron’s office. Before knocking on the door, she passed the flowers over to Eileen. ‘Here, you hold these.’

  ‘Enter.’

  That one word was enough to make Eileen’s eyes roll. And when she saw the stern face of the matron she felt her tummy had suddenly been invaded by hundreds of fluttering butterflies.

  ‘I can tell you no more than you were told on the telephone,’ the matron said, tapping her desk with the rubber end of her pencil. ‘Your mother is as comfortable as can be expected.’

  ‘I think we are entitled to know if the operation was a success.’ Rene spoke calmly, even though she was trembling inside. ‘I am sure you understand, Matron, we are very concerned.’

  Matron gazed from one to the other, her eyes finally resting on Eileen. ‘The operation was a success, but I’m afraid your mother’s age is against her. If she were a young person I’d have no hesitation in saying she would make a full recovery. But she is over seventy, and a serious operation at her time of life is always dangerous. The doctor was in to see her an hour ago, and he’ll be keeping a close check on her progress.’

  ‘When can we see her?’ Rene asked.

  ‘I’ll have a word with the doctor after he’s seen her again, so if you ring about four I’ll let you know if he thinks she’s well enough to have visitors. She isn’t in the big ward yet, we’ve got her in a side ward where we can keep an eye on her.’ The matron stood up to indicate the interview was at an end. ‘Give the flowers to one of the nurses and she’ll see they are taken to your mother’s room.’

  Eileen cleared her throat. ‘Can we just take a peek at ’er?’ She saw the slight hesitation on Matron’s face and took advantage. ‘Please? It would mean so much to us. We wouldn’t let ’er see us.’

  ‘My dear, your mother wouldn’t see you even if you went in the room.’ The stern face relaxed a little. ‘She hasn’t come round after the operation yet.’

  ‘Please?’ Eileen begged. ‘Just a peep.’

  Matron led them to a door which was half open. ‘Just two minutes.’

  Eileen gazed at the still form in the bed, and when she saw all the tubes attached to her mother her legs buckled under her. She fell back against the wall and would have fallen if Rene hadn’t caught her in time.

  ‘Come on, Eileen, out!’ Rene took a firm grip of her sister’s arm and led her to a bench in the corridor. ‘Sit there for a minute and calm down.’ Rene walked back a few yards. ‘Thank you, Matron, I appreciate your kindness.’

  ‘Would your sister like a drink of tea? I can arrange i
t.’

  ‘No, thank you, she’ll be all right. I’ve got a car outside and I’ll have her home in five minutes.’

  Mary had been at the window watching for Rene’s car and was outside the passenger door in time to help pull Eileen from the restricted space. ‘Come on now, all together . . . one . . . two . . . three!’

  ‘Phew! Now I know what a sardine feels like.’

  ‘I expected you home ages ago,’ Mary said, taking Eileen’s arm. ‘I’ve been worried to death. How is Maggie?’

  ‘We’d have been home long ago,’ Rene said, ‘but our Eileen was hysterical and we had to sit in the car park until she’d calmed down.’

  ‘Let’s get inside.’ Eileen pulled her arm free to unlock the door. ‘We’ll tell yer about it over a cuppa.’

  ‘I tried to tell her that everybody has tubes and things attached to them after an operation, but there was no getting through to Eileen.’ Rene held her cup between her hands and blew on the piping hot tea. ‘I was upset meself, because me mam did look terrible, but carrying on the way Tilly Mint here did, doesn’t help anyone.’

  ‘Honest to God, kid, I got the fright of me life.’ Eileen shuddered at the memory. ‘She looked so still, her face as white as a sheet, I thought she was dead.’

  Mary could understand how her friend felt. Hadn’t she been the same when her mam had the stroke? And if she hadn’t had Eileen to help her through that bad patch, Mary would never have coped. With her strength and her humour, Eileen had kept her going. Now her friend was in need of the same support. ‘You’re expecting too much, Eileen! Just wait a few days and I bet you’ll see a difference.’

  ‘Will yer ring up at four o’clock for us, kid? I’m ’opeless on a telephone, the things scare the life out of me.’

  ‘I’ll leave Victoria with Irene next door, and me and Alan will go in tonight,’ Rene said. ‘We’ll call in on the way back and let you know how she is.’

  ‘Not on yer life!’ Eileen banged her cup down. ‘She’s my mam, as well.’