Whiskey Tango

by Alison Beamon

  “Yes come with us.” Shayla chimed in and London felt herself caving.

  “Maybe another time.” At the moment she just wanted to stay inside and hide.

  “It is the least I can do to thank you for taking care of Elsa for us.” Paul’s words made her wonder what photos he had seen.

  “Okay, I will go and get ready.” London was tired of worrying about what people were going to think of her. She could not hide in her house forever.

  They rode in Paul’s car, London sat up front and Shayla sat in the back. It was hard to sit there next to him wondering what he thought of the photos. It was unfair having so much of her life exposed and not being able to do anything about it.

  “So how do you know him?” Shayla asked from the back.

  “Who?” London asked not sure if she was talking to her or not.

  “The man that hurt you. The one that took the pictures.” Yep that question had been for her.

  “Shayla.” Paul started but London cut him off.

  “It’s a long story, Shayla, and we are still sorting it all out. But he was very angry with my father and took it out on me.” That explanation did not make her feel any better.

  “Did he hit you? Daddy says real men don’t hit women.” London could not tell if Paul was uncomfortable with this conversation, but she wanted to answer the young girl.

  “No, he did not hit me.” He did not have to, but she left that part out. Jon had so easily broken her heart, but she had made that so easy for him.

  “My Dad said he will kill any man that hits me.” Shayla said and London was glad that they were pulling into a restaurant parking lot. This was definitely a child friendly place.

  “And I will.” Paul declared as the car was being pulled into a spot. Shayla was excited at the choice of restaurants.

  “Yes, my favorite.” Shayla squealed as she practically jumped from the car. Paul gave London a half cocked smile as he opened his door and got out of the car. The only good thought was that Jon would not be in there. Shayla took London by the hand and pulled her inside, Paul following close behind them.

  The pizza was ordered and Shayla ran off with a credit card of some sort. London remembered when she had to use tokens in the machines. Not now, there were little cards that the kids were sliding or tapping against the machines.

  “Technology.” London said aloud as she brought her attention back to Paul. He seemed very relaxed in this place. The children ran around like crazy and she had to smile at the busyness of it.

  “I know you want to ask me, so go ahead.” Paul started.

  “Ask you what?” London met his eyes, he did have nice eyes.

  “You want to know if I really saw the pictures.” She could imagine this man as a marvelous detective.

  “It is weird you know, well I guess you don’t.” She took a few seconds to get her thoughts together.

  “I mean any of these people could have seen them and I would never know. I wonder if they will recognize me and then it fills me with shame.”

  “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Paul started and then shook his head. “I did not mean it like that. I mean you did not cause the situation, you are a victim.” Trust him to put it in perspective like that.

  “I don’t want to be a victim.” That was the truth. That was the one thought that she struggled with the most. Yes she had been wronged, but she did not feel like a victim.

  “I understand that. Is that why you have kept it so quiet?” Was that what she was doing? Would that be what other people thought she was doing also?

  “My father has a damage control team and they are handling it. I have to trust that it will all be okay.” Would it though? Even if they could fix it and her life returned to normal, would it ever be okay?

  “But you still have feelings for him?” Yes this man was a fantastic detective and she wanted to change the subject.

  “I wish you would have just asked me if they are real.” Her admission was said with a smile and he smiled back at her.

  “Well are they?”

  “Yes.” London smiled at him.

  “That is the number one question that everybody keeps asking.” Paul simply smiled at her and she had to admit that she felt better. The pizza came and Shayla was back. The conversation turned to lighter topics. London had to admit that she had a nice time. Paul only had Shayla on weekends until the summer and then he and his wife would discuss the summer arrangements. London wondered again what happened between them but she would not ask.

  Elsa spent more time at London’s and Paul was afraid that she would get hurt trying to cross the street, so they decided that she could just stay. She was going to anyway. He insisted on bringing food for her and promised that he would check on her every day. London did not mind, the dog, or the man. Still she did not want to let him think there would ever be anything between them.

  Whenever the conversation turned to his wife she could tell that he did not like the separation.

  Still she was not going to press him about it. He never pressed her about Jon.

  London had other issues to worry about and after the second missed period she knew she was going to have to take a test. Walking through the pharmacy she struggled with herself. If she bought the test then every person in that pharmacy would know what she thought. If she didn’t then she was just going to worry.

  London tossed a couple packs in her cart and headed for the candy aisle. She felt like all of her business was on display, she grabbed some gum and made her way to the front. Placing them on the counter she wished the cashier would hurry.

  “What do you need those for?” Jon’s voice came from behind her. The cashier looked at him then to London.

  “Just hurry up.” She told the girl.

  “Restraining orders are meant to restrain you from being near me.” She said but never looked away from the cashier. The total was said and she swiped her card.

  “I think I deserve to know, London.” She was so upset by all of it that she entered the wrong pin. Quickly she started over. She was going to panic, she felt it coming over her. She had not had a panic attack in years. Thankfully the pin was entered correctly and the girl was handing her stuff to her.

  “You don’t deserve anything.” London said not looking at him. If she was pregnant with his baby he would never know it.

  “Oh wow, you are London Lane.” The cashier said and she snatched the bag from her.

  “I saw your pictures.” That was the last thing she wanted to know. It was bad enough.

  “You can thank him for that.” London said as she almost ran from that store. She had to be away from him and all the humiliation that was pouring over her. Her hands shook so bad she dropped the keys into the floor board. She was almost in tears when she had the car started and was backing out. He was coming her way but she was not stopping. She had to get home and lock herself inside.

  The cell phone rang as she parked her car in the garage. It was Jon, and she did not want to talk to him. Everything was crashing down on her all at the same time. It was probably time to tell her father that the restraining order was a waste of time. Her cell phone rang again and she snatched it up.

  “What?” She all but screamed into the thing.

  “I want to know.” The man was an absolute buffoon if he thought she was going to tell him anything.

  “Just leave me alone.” How was she supposed to get over him if he would not let her.

  “If you are pregnant.”

  “If I am pregnant it will not be for very long.” The words caused her a bit of pain, but they had hit their mark. She heard him exhale. He knew exactly what she meant.

  “London, don’t do anything that you will regret.”

  “I have already done that. Please, Jon, please just leave me alone.” She ended the call then and she would not be answering it again. Inside her house she let Elsa in and the dog was happy to see her. Elsa followed her upstairs and waited by the door while London went into the bat
hroom.

  The truth screamed up at her and she could not hold back the tears any longer. The test was positive, but she had not needed it any way.

  Her cell phone rang and she was ready to throw it out the window. The door bell rang and she did not want to think that it was Jon. It was probably Paul coming to check on Elsa.

  It was Paul and she was glad. When she opened the door he took one look at her and pulled her against his chest.

  “What happened?” Paul asked as he held her.

  “I am pregnant.” Saying it out loud did not help.

  “Oh God and it is his.” She knew that it was not a question. Nodding she put a little distance between them.

  “What are you going to do?” That was the one million dollar question and she did not have the answer for it.

  “Can we keep this between us until I decide?” She asked and was relieved when he nodded. Opening the door she waited for him to leave.

  “Call me if you need me.” He said and she nodded. This brain of hers was not going to formulate conversation at the moment.

  NINE

  London did not want to tell anybody about her predicament. Especially because she had every intention of ending the pregnancy. Her religion screamed at her that it was a sin, but that was just an old book. What did it know about what she was going through? The cell phone rang and it was Jon. She picked it up and turned it off. She was not going to talk to him. There was nothing that she wanted to say to him.

  If she kept this baby it would be a constant reminder of the man. That was not something that she was sure she could live with. It would give him a reason to be in her life forever and she did not want that. Would the courts force her to share the baby with him? Paul had to share his daughter but she was not sure that she would be able to do that.

  Her mind was a jumbled mess as she finally went to sleep. The night was spent tossing and turning, she just could not rest. After she let Elsa out she made her way through the house. She saw him on her front porch. She was going to have to deal with him if she was going to get through this.

  “What the hell do you want?” She demanded as she pulled the door open.

  “To know.” His words were quiet.

  “Get off my property. If you come near me again I will have you arrested.” She started to close the door, his foot stopped that action.

  “Do you think your boyfriend across the street is going to want my baby?” She did not like the way he said it.

  “He is a detective and he is not my boyfriend.” At that moment having Paul as a boyfriend might be a good thing. Jon moved his foot and she slammed the door. Running upstairs she meant to get her phone. She was going to call the police. Turning it back on took several seconds and she wondered if he had left.

  With her phone in hand she came back downstairs, he was gone. Gathering her stuff she made her way to the garage. She could not let this go on for another minute. If he thought she was pregnant he would never leave her alone. She was not so sure he was going to leave her alone anyway.

  London circled the pregnancy clinic block several times before she pulled into the parking lot. There were some protestors there with signs. They looked angry. It took her several minutes to get up the nerve to get out of her car. She really only wanted to ask them some questions. She was not sure she wanted to end the pregnancy yet.

  The sound of tires squealing on the pavement had her turning around. Jon’s truck was pulling into the parking lot. The protestors were yelling at her and she wanted to tell them to shut up. The things they were saying were awful. She wondered if they ever had to make a hard decision in their damn perfect lives. There were several police officers and she smiled at them. She guessed they were not happy to be here. Making her way toward the entrance she listened to the names being hurled at her. Those were some ugly people.

  “Don’t do this, London.” Jon had her by the arm and he was pulling her backwards. The police officers were heading her way. The protestors seemed to be on Jon’s side. There was something in his tone, it was almost desperate.

  “Let go of me.” The chants around her were getting louder. The protestors seemed to encircle them. It was making her nervous, she knew she was going to panic.

  “Just give the baby to me.” There was something in his eyes. He was scared, she saw that fear as clear as the nose on his face.

  “Let me go.” She yelled as she tried to get away from him, away from all of them. The police officers were moving the protestors back and she was glad.

  “Please just think about this.” There were tears in his eyes, but she could not deal with him at the moment.

  She needed to be away from all of those people screaming at her. The police officer was by her side now.

  “Is everything okay here?” He asked and she felt the panic rise in her. Why did they have to keep yelling at her?

  “London.” Jon said softly but she could not deal with him either.

  “My name is London Lane and I have a restraining order against him, Jon Tango.” Her eyes never left Jon’s she was done. She just wanted to be alone. She wanted to be away from all of them.

  “Please don’t go in there, London, I swear I will leave you alone. I will never bother you again.” The tears fell from his eyes and the officer was cuffing his hands behind his back.

  “Don’t kill the baby because of me.” They were dragging him away and toward a police car. He never looked away from her. She turned then and walked into the clinic. His word meant nothing to her.

  “London.” She heard him yell as the door closed between them. With that door closed it all stopped. The yelling stopped, Jon stopped, it was quiet. Very eerily quiet. Standing by the door she simply looked at the room before her. There was a window that had a check in here sign. There were chairs, there were other people.

  None of the women sitting in those chairs looked at her for more than a second. There was so much sadness and defeat in that room. London was surprised at how clean and pleasant it looked.

  ‘Don’t kill the baby because of me.’ Jon’s words rang through her mind and she had to sit down. Was that what she was doing? Was she killing a baby simply because she did not like it’s DNA?

  “Miss, would you like to talk to someone?” A nice lady asked her quietly as she came to sit next to her. Shaking her head she said.

  “No, can I just sit here for a minute?” The panic feeling was starting to fade and she just needed to get her thoughts back together.

  “I will be right over there if you change your mind.” The lady said before she went back to her desk behind the wall. London looked at her feet. What on earth was she doing? Did she think she could end this little life and live with it? What did it matter who the father was? She was the mother and that hit her hard. If she did what she wanted to at that moment she would not be the mother.

  It was too much and she could not think. There were so many questions racing through her brain. Some of those people outside called her ugly names and they did not even know her. Why on earth would they talk to her like that? Because they wanted her to see what she was doing.

  But there had to be a better way. The panic was all but gone now and she could breathe fairly normal again.

  If she did not end the pregnancy then she would have to tell her parents. If she did end the pregnancy then she would probably tell them as well. It was too much and she could not make this decision alone. Standing she made her way back outside. The police car was gone. She hated that he had been arrested but he had to know that she was serious. She did not take out a restraining order for the fun of it.

  London had called her parents and asked them to meet her at her father’s house. She did not have to explain. They were there when she came in. She was glad that no one else was there. Their looks said they were very concerned and she was not going to beat around the bush.

  “I am pregnant.” Her mother sat quickly and her father blinked rapidly several times.

  “Tango?” He asked
and she nodded. Then he too sat next to his ex wife.

  “I spent my afternoon at an abortion clinic.” The truth fell from her lips.

  “Oh, Honey, you didn’t.” Her mother was up and moving toward her. There were tears in her eyes.

  “No, Mom, but I can’t do this by myself. I am terrified.” Her dad stood then but did not move toward her.

  “I had Jon Tango arrested at the clinic.” Her father did not like those words.

  “We have a restraining order.” He said as if that was all it took.

  “This is not the first time he ignored it.” London admitted and saw the anger rise in her father’s eyes. His hand raked through his hair.

  “London Denise, do you want to have this baby?” The question her mother asked was soft. Her father started to say something but her mother held up her hand.