Confidence

by Henry James

  Gordon hesitated a moment.

  "More or less, but not exactly."

  "Miss Vivian feels differently?" said Bernard.

  "Not that I know of."

  Gordon's companion, with a laugh, clapped him on the shoulder again.

  "Admirable youth, you are a capital match!"

  "Are you alluding to my money?"

  "To your money and to your modesty. There is as much of one as of the other—which is saying a great deal."

  "Well," said Gordon, "in spite of that enviable combination, I am not happy."

  "I thought you seemed pensive!" Bernard exclaimed. "It 's you, then, who feel differently."

  Gordon gave a sigh.

  "To say that is to say too much."

  "What shall we say, then?" his companion asked, kindly.

  Gordon stopped again; he stood there looking up at a certain particularly lustrous star which twinkled—the night was cloudy—in an open patch of sky, and the vague brightness shone down on his honest and serious visage.

  "I don't understand her," he said.

  "Oh, I 'll say that with you any day!" cried Bernard. "I can't help you there."

  "You must help me;" and Gordon Wright deserted his star. "You must keep me in good humor."

  "Please to walk on, then. I don't in the least pity you; she is very charming with you."

  "True enough; but insisting on that is not the way to keep me in good humor—when I feel as I do."

  "How is it you feel?"

  "Puzzled to death—bewildered—depressed!"

  This was but the beginning of Gordon Wright's list; he went on to say that though he "thought as highly" of Miss Vivian as he had ever done, he felt less at his ease with her than in the first weeks of their acquaintance, and this condition made him uncomfortable and unhappy.

  "I don't know what 's the matter," said poor Gordon. "I don't know what has come between us. It is n't her fault—I don't make her responsible for it. I began to notice it about a fortnight ago—before you came; shortly after that talk I had with her that I have just described to you. Her manner has n't changed and I have no reason to suppose that she likes me any the less; but she makes a strange impression on me—she makes me uneasy. It 's only her nature coming out, I suppose—what you might call her originality. She 's thoroughly original—she 's a kind of mysterious creature. I suppose that what I feel is a sort of fascination; but that is just what I don't like. Hang it, I don't want to be fascinated—I object to being fascinated!"

  This little story had taken some time in the telling, so that the two young men had now reached their hotel.

  "Ah, my dear Gordon," said Bernard, "we speak a different language. If you don't want to be fascinated, what is one to say to you? 'Object to being fascinated!' There 's a man easy to satisfy! Raffine, va!"

  "Well, see here now," said Gordon, stopping in the door-way of the inn; "when it comes to the point, do you like it yourself?"

  "When it comes to the point?" Bernard exclaimed. "I assure you I don't wait till then. I like the beginning—I delight in the approach of it—I revel in the prospect."

  "That's just what I did. But now that the thing has come—I don't revel. To be fascinated is to be mystified. Damn it, I like my liberty—I like my judgment!"

  "So do I—like yours," said Bernard, laughing, as they took their bedroom candles.

  CHAPTER IX

  Bernard talked of this matter rather theoretically, inasmuch as to his own sense, he was in a state neither of incipient nor of absorbed fascination. He got on very easily, however, with Angela Vivian, and felt none of the mysterious discomfort alluded to by his friend. The element of mystery attached itself rather to the young lady's mother, who gave him the impression that for undiscoverable reasons she avoided his society. He regretted her evasive deportment, for he found something agreeable in this shy and scrupulous little woman, who struck him as a curious specimen of a society of which he had once been very fond. He learned that she was of old New England stock, but he had not needed this information to perceive that Mrs. Vivian was animated by the genius of Boston. "She has the Boston temperament," he said, using a phrase with which he had become familiar and which evoked a train of associations. But then he immediately added that if Mrs. Vivian was a daughter of the Puritans, the Puritan strain in her disposition had been mingled with another element. "It is the Boston temperament sophisticated," he said; "perverted a little—perhaps even corrupted. It is the local east-wind with an infusion from climates less tonic." It seemed to him that Mrs. Vivian was a Puritan grown worldly—a Bostonian relaxed; and this impression, oddly enough, contributed to his wish to know more of her. He felt like going up to her very politely and saying, "Dear lady and most honored compatriot, what in the world have I done to displease you? You don't approve of me, and I am dying to know the reason why. I should be so happy to exert myself to be agreeable to you. It 's no use; you give me the cold shoulder. When I speak to you, you look the other way; it is only when I speak to your daughter that you look at me. It is true that at those times you look at me very hard, and if I am not greatly mistaken, you are not gratified by what you see. You count the words I address to your beautiful Angela—you time our harmless little interviews. You interrupt them indeed whenever you can; you call her away—you appeal to her; you cut across the conversation. You are always laying plots to keep us apart. Why can't you leave me alone? I assure you I am the most innocent of men. Your beautiful Angela can't possibly be injured by my conversation, and I have no designs whatever upon her peace of mind. What on earth have I done to offend you?"

  These observations Bernard Longueville was disposed to make, and one afternoon, the opportunity offering, they rose to his lips and came very near passing them. In fact, however, at the last moment, his eloquence took another turn. It was the custom of the orchestra at the Kursaal to play in the afternoon, and as the music was often good, a great many people assembled under the trees, at three o'clock, to listen to it. This was not, as a regular thing, an hour of re-union for the little group in which we are especially interested; Miss Vivian, in particular, unless an excursion of some sort had been agreed upon the day before, was usually not to be seen in the precincts of the Conversation-house until the evening. Bernard, one afternoon, at three o'clock, directed his steps to this small world-centre of Baden, and, passing along the terrace, soon encountered little Blanche Evers strolling there under a pink parasol and accompanied by Captain Lovelock. This young lady was always extremely sociable; it was quite in accordance with her habitual geniality that she should stop and say how d' ye do to our hero.

  "Mr. Longueville is growing very frivolous," she said, "coming to the Kursaal at all sorts of hours."

  "There is nothing frivolous in coming here with the hope of finding you," the young man answered. "That is very serious."

  "It would be more serious to lose Miss Evers than to find her," remarked Captain Lovelock, with gallant jocosity.

  "I wish you would lose me!" cried the young girl. "I think I should like to be lost. I might have all kinds of adventures."

  "I 'guess' so!" said Captain Lovelock, hilariously.

  "Oh, I should find my way. I can take care of myself!" Blanche went on.

  "Mrs. Vivian does n't think so," said Bernard, who had just perceived this lady, seated under a tree with a book, over the top of which she was observing her pretty protege. Blanche looked toward her and gave her a little nod and a smile. Then chattering on to the young men—

  "She 's awfully careful. I never saw any one so careful. But I suppose she is right. She promised my mother she would be tremendously particular; but I don't know what she thinks I would do."

  "That is n't flattering to me," said Captain Lovelock. "Mrs. Vivian does n't approve of me—she wishes me in Jamaica. What does she think me capable of?"

  "And me, now?" Bernard asked. "She likes me least of all, and I, on my side, think she 's so nice."

  "Can't say I 'm very sweet on her," sa
id the Captain. "She strikes me as feline."

  Blanche Evers gave a little cry of horror.

  "Stop, sir, this instant! I won't have you talk that way about a lady who has been so kind to me."

  "She is n't so kind to you. She would like to lock you up where I can never see you."

  "I 'm sure I should n't mind that!" cried the young girl, with a little laugh and a toss of her head. "Mrs. Vivian has the most perfect character—that 's why my mother wanted me to come with her. And if she promised my mother she would be careful, is n't she right to keep her promise? She 's a great deal more careful than mamma ever was, and that 's just what mamma wanted. She would never take the trouble herself. And then she was always scolding me. Mrs. Vivian never scolds me. She only watches me, but I don't mind that."

  "I wish she would watch you a little less and scold you a little more," said Captain Lovelock.

  "I have no doubt you wish a great many horrid things," his companion rejoined, with delightful asperity.

  "Ah, unfortunately I never have anything I wish!" sighed Lovelock.

  "Your wishes must be comprehensive," said Bernard. "It seems to me you have a good deal."

  The Englishman gave a shrug.

  "It 's less than you might think. She is watching us more furiously than ever," he added, in a moment, looking at Mrs. Vivian. "Mr. Gordon Wright is the only man she likes. She is awfully fond of Mr. Gordon Wright."

  "Ah, Mrs. Vivian shows her wisdom!" said Bernard.

  "He is certainly very handsome," murmured Blanche Evers, glancing several times, with a very pretty aggressiveness, at Captain Lovelock. "I must say I like Mr. Gordon Wright. Why in the world did you come here without him?" she went on, addressing herself to Bernard. "You two are so awfully inseparable. I don't think I ever saw you alone before."

  "Oh, I have often seen Mr. Gordon Wright alone," said Captain Lovelock—"that is, alone with Miss Vivian. That 's what the old lady likes; she can't have too much of that."

  The young girl, poised for an instant in one of her pretty attitudes, looked at him from head to foot.

  "Well, I call that scandalous! Do you mean that she wants to make a match?"

  "I mean that the young man has six thousand a year."

  "It 's no matter what he has—six thousand a year is n't much! And we don't do things in that way in our country. We have n't those horrid match-making arrangements that you have in your dreadful country. American mothers are not like English mothers."

  "Oh, any one can see, of course," said Captain Lovelock, "that Mr. Gordon Wright is dying of love for Miss Vivian."

  "I can't see it!" cried Blanche.

  "He dies easier than I, eh?"

  "I wish you would die!" said Blanche. "At any rate, Angela is not dying of love for Mr. Wright."

  "Well, she will marry him all the same," Lovelock declared.

  Blanche Evers glanced at Bernard.

  "Why don't you contradict that?" she asked. "Why don't you speak up for your friend?"

  "I am quite ready to speak for my friend," said Bernard, "but I am not ready to speak for Miss Vivian."

  "Well, I am," Blanche declared. "She won't marry him."

  "If she does n't, I 'll eat my hat!" said Captain Lovelock. "What do you mean," he went on, "by saying that in America a pretty girl's mother does n't care for a young fellow's property?"

  "Well, they don't—we consider that dreadful. Why don't you say so, Mr. Longueville?" Blanche demanded. "I never saw any one take things so quietly. Have n't you got any patriotism?"

  "My patriotism is modified by an indisposition to generalize," said Bernard, laughing. "On this point permit me not to generalize. I am interested in the particular case—in ascertaining whether Mrs. Vivian thinks very often of Gordon Wright's income."

  Miss Evers gave a little toss of disgust.

  "If you are so awfully impartial, you had better go and ask her."

  "That 's a good idea—I think I will go and ask her," said Bernard.

  Captain Lovelock returned to his argument.

  "Do you mean to say that your mother would be indifferent to the fact that I have n't a shilling in the world?"

  "Indifferent?" Blanche demanded. "Oh no, she would be sorry for you. She is very charitable—she would give you a shilling!"

  "She would n't let you marry me," said Lovelock.

  "She would n't have much trouble to prevent it!" cried the young girl.

  Bernard had had enough of this intellectual fencing.

  "Yes, I will go and ask Mrs. Vivian," he repeated. And he left his companions to resume their walk.

  CHAPTER X

  It had seemed to him a good idea to interrogate Mrs. Vivian; but there are a great many good ideas that are never put into execution. As he approached her with a smile and a salutation, and, with the air of asking leave to take a liberty, seated himself in the empty chair beside her, he felt a humorous relish of her own probable dismay which relaxed the investigating impulse. His impulse was now simply to prove to her that he was the most unobjectionable fellow in the world—a proposition which resolved itself into several ingenious observations upon the weather, the music, the charms and the drawbacks of Baden, the merits of the volume that she held in her lap. If Mrs. Vivian should be annoyed, should be fluttered, Bernard would feel very sorry for her; there was nothing in the world that he respected more than the moral consciousness of a little Boston woman whose view of life was serious and whose imagination was subject to alarms. He held it to be a temple of delicacy, where one should walk on tiptoe, and he wished to exhibit to Mrs. Vivian the possible lightness of his own step. She herself was incapable of being rude or ungracious, and now that she was fairly confronted with the plausible object of her mistrust, she composed herself to her usual attitude of refined liberality. Her book was a volume of Victor Cousin.

  "You must have an extraordinary power of abstracting your mind," Bernard said to her, observing it. "Studying philosophy at the Baden Kursaal strikes me as a real intellectual feat."

  "Don't you think we need a little philosophy here?"

  "By all means—what we bring with us. But I should n't attempt the use of the text-book on the spot."

  "You should n't speak of yourself as if you were not clever," said Mrs. Vivian. "Every one says you are so very clever."

  Longueville stared; there was an unexpectedness in the speech and an incongruity in Mrs. Vivian's beginning to flatter him. He needed to remind himself that if she was a Bostonian, she was a Bostonian perverted.

  "Ah, my dear madam, every one is no one," he said, laughing.

  "It was Mr. Wright, in particular," she rejoined. "He has always told us that."

  "He is blinded by friendship."

  "Ah yes, we know about your friendship," said Mrs. Vivian. "He has told us about that."

  "You are making him out a terrible talker!"

  "We think he talks so well—we are so very fond of his conversation."

  "It 's usually excellent," said Bernard. "But it depends a good deal on the subject."

  "Oh," rejoined Mrs. Vivian, "we always let him choose his subjects." And dropping her eyes as if in sudden reflection, she began to smooth down the crumpled corner of her volume.

  It occurred to Bernard that—by some mysterious impulse—she was suddenly presenting him with a chance to ask her the question that Blanche Evers had just suggested. Two or three other things as well occurred to him. Captain Lovelock had been struck with the fact that she favored Gordon Wright's addresses to her daughter, and Captain Lovelock had a grotesque theory that she had set her heart upon seeing this young lady come into six thousand a year. Miss Evers's devoted swain had never struck Bernard as a brilliant reasoner, but our friend suddenly found himself regarding him as one of the inspired. The form of depravity into which the New England conscience had lapsed on Mrs. Vivian's part was an undue appreciation of a possible son-in-law's income! In this illuminating discovery everything else became clear. Mrs. Vivian disliked her humbl
e servant because he had not thirty thousand dollars a year, and because at a moment when it was Angela's prime duty to concentrate her thoughts upon Gordon Wright's great advantages, a clever young man of paltry fortune was a superfluous diversion.

  "When you say clever, everything is relative," he presently observed. "Now, there is Captain Lovelock; he has a certain kind of cleverness; he is very observant."

  Mrs. Vivian glanced up with a preoccupied air.

  "We don't like Captain Lovelock," she said.

  "I have heard him say capital things," Bernard answered.

  "We think him brutal," said Mrs. Vivian. "Please don't praise Captain Lovelock."

  "Oh, I only want to be just."

  Mrs. Vivian for a moment said nothing.

  "Do you want very much to be just?" she presently asked.

  "It 's my most ardent desire."

  "I 'm glad to hear that—and I can easily believe it," said Mrs. Vivian.

  Bernard gave her a grateful smile, but while he smiled, he asked himself a serious question. "Why the deuce does she go on flattering me?—You have always been very kind to me," he said aloud.

  "It 's on Mr. Wright's account," she answered demurely.

  In speaking the words I have just quoted, Bernard Longueville had felt himself, with a certain compunction, to be skirting the edge of clever impudence; but Mrs. Vivian's quiet little reply suggested to him that her cleverness, if not her impudence, was almost equal to his own. He remarked to himself that he had not yet done her justice.

  "You bring everything back to Gordon Wright," he said, continuing to smile.

  Mrs. Vivian blushed a little.

  "It is because he is really at the foundation of everything that is pleasant for us here. When we first came we had some very disagreeable rooms, and as soon as he arrived he found us some excellent ones—that were less expensive. And then, Mr. Longueville," she added, with a soft, sweet emphasis which should properly have contradicted the idea of audacity, but which, to Bernard's awakened sense, seemed really to impart a vivid color to it, "he was also the cause of your joining our little party."