“Danki.” Malinda seemed sincere, but did she mean the words she spoke? Rebecca sighed softly. She may as well begin to make amends now. “C-could I talk to you?”
“Sure. Just let me set this casserole dish on the table. I’ll be right back.”
Rebecca tiptoed to a far corner, hopefully out of earshot of other arrivals, and waited for Malinda to return. She tried out several conversations in her head, but all her pretty speeches evaporated at Malinda’s approach. Instead, she blurted out unrehearsed words. “I’m so sorry, Malinda, for the trouble I caused between you and Isaac. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Ach, Becky, there’s nothing to forgive.” Malinda reached out to squeeze Rebecca’s upper arm. “I’ll admit I was upset at first when Isaac turned away from me, but everything worked out for the best. We weren’t right for each other anyway. So if you want to see him, it won’t bother me at all.”
“Nee. Nee. I-I don’t plan to see him—or anyone. It was just ridiculous flirting on my part. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“I believe we’re all fine and have moved on.”
“Are you happy now, Malinda? You seem to have a special glow. Is that due to a special person?”
“I am happy. And there could very well be someone special.” Malinda’s wide smile gave away feelings the Amish usually kept hidden until an upcoming wedding was announced in church.
“I’m glad. I hope Isaac doesn’t bear any grudges, either.”
“I don’t believe he does. I think he is still trying to figure out what he wants to do. He still works at the dairy with Atlee, but I don’t think his heart is in that.”
A mysterious little tingle zipped up Rebecca’s spine at the mention of Atlee’s name. It must be because he’d been so nice to her after church.
“I really am glad you’re back, Becky. I guess I’d better get busy.”
“Jah. I’ll check to see what Lena wants me to do.”
* * *
Rebecca found Lena Troyer in the living room already looking a little haggard for first thing in the morning. Two tiny girls peeped out from behind her, one on each side. “Hi, Lena.” Rebecca infused her words with all the cheerfulness she could muster.
“Hi, Becky. I heard you were back but didn’t get to see you on Sunday.”
“Jah, I saw you Sunday, but you were busy with two beautiful little girls.”
Lena chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe they are the same two kinner, would you? Sunday I had to chase after them everywhere. Today I can’t get them to detach themselves from me.”
Rebecca laughed. “I’m sure this is strange for them to have so many women descend on their home. Several crews of women are already getting busy. Is there something in particular you’d like me to do, or should I just join one of the groups?”
“Well, I was going to go through baby things and get them all ready since I can’t really crawl around and scrub. But these two have suddenly turned shy on me. Would you like to help me?”
“Sure. That would be fine.” Rebecca didn’t add that helping Lena might just get her away from the strong cleaning smells that were making her sensitive stomach churn. “Maybe we can get the girls to help. Can you big girls help us?” Rebecca reached down to tickle each little girl beneath the chin, eliciting giggles from both. She’d never considered whether she had any talents or skills with kinner, but she guessed she’d better be finding out pretty quickly. “How old are the girls now?”
“Mary is four and Eliza is two.”
“My! You are big girls! I’m sure you can help.” Both girls stepped out from behind their mamm, grins breaking out on their faces. To Rebecca’s amazement, they each took one of the hands she stretched out toward them. Lena’s weary sigh of relief was almost palpable. Maybe Rebecca could persuade the obviously exhausted young mamm to take a nap later. Lena was so thin, except for her protruding belly. She made Rebecca think of a big, round snowman with stick arms. She must surely be due to have the boppli soon.
Rebecca dusted, swept, and wiped down walls in the bedroom while Lena pulled out baby items. She found little chores for the girls to do until they finally could be persuaded to play with some of the older kinner who had tagged along with their mamms. Even then, the girls would periodically run back into the room to assure themselves their mamm was indeed still there.
The two young women had gotten into a rhythm of cleaning, sorting, and rearranging things. They chatted as they worked. Despite the age difference, a comradery developed between them, as if they were members of some secret sisterhood.
With a grunt, Lena dropped to sit on the edge of the bed and gasped for breath. “Whew! I feel like I’ve been working hard, but everyone else is actually doing all the heavy jobs.”
“Why don’t you rest a bit, Lena? The boppli must be due soon, ain’t so?”
“Two weeks, the midwife said, but I have a sneaky feeling it may be sooner. Eliza was a week early. What about you?”
“Huh?”
“Your little one. When is your boppli due?”
“What are you talking about?” Unwittingly, Rebecca’s eyes shot to her midsection. She couldn’t detect any telltale bulge. Had one of her parents already told someone about her? She couldn’t fathom that.
Lena laughed and squeezed Rebecca’s hand. “Nee, Becky. You don’t look in the family way. Not there anyway.” Lena nodded toward Rebecca’s belly.
“Then what are you talking about? How could you possibly . . . ?”
“Your eyes.”
“My eyes?” I have pregnant eyes? Self-consciously, Rebecca blinked and lowered her gaze. What in the world did her eyes tell Lena?
“Your eyes have a slightly bluish tint beneath them. I’ve always been able to tell a woman was expecting by that hint of color, since I’ve always had that sign early on, too.”
Rebecca wished she had a mirror. She reached up a hand to rub across her eyes. “So a strange little color—which could be there because I just made a long trip home and am still tired—makes you think I’m expecting?”
“Am I wrong?”
Rebecca couldn’t raise her eyes to meet Lena’s. Nor could she out-and-out lie. She must truly have turned over a new leaf. The old Rebecca would have laughed and invented some sort of story.
Lena’s bony finger raised Rebecca’s chin. “Am I wrong?” This time her question was the merest whisper.
Rebecca’s vision clouded as she raised her gaze to stare into Lena’s big brown eyes, eyes that were almost too large for her small oval face. “Nee, you aren’t wrong. I am tired, but there is more to it than fatigue.” Silent tears overflowed their banks and cascaded down Rebecca’s cheeks. Suddenly she felt arms wrapped around her, arms much stronger than they appeared.
“It’s okay, Becky. I won’t say anything to anyone. I’m a gut secret keeper.” She patted Rebecca’s back and then rubbed her hands in soothing circles as she gently rocked the younger woman in her arms. “Do you want to talk? I’m a gut listener, too.”
Rebecca shook her head but then found herself pouring out her story as if her tongue had a mind of its own.
“Oh my, Becky. You’ve had a horrible time. I am so sorry you had to endure such hardship.”
“I should never have run off.”
“We’ve all done things we wished we’d never done. Don’t think you’re the only one.”
“No one will believe me, Lena. They’ll all think I’m . . .
“I believed you.”
“I’m amazed you did.”
“Why? Becky, you were never a bad person. From what I saw, you liked to flirt and step out with different fellows, but that isn’t evil. You’re young. Young folks are supposed to have fun and get to know each other before they decide who they will marry.”
“Maybe, but I sort of stole other girls’ fellows sometimes.”
“If the fellow’s head could so easily be turned, he must not have been very committed to the girl he’d been seeing. Look at it this way, Becky.
You might have saved some couples from making serious mistakes. It was better for them to know they weren’t right for each other before marriage, ain’t so? You’re a lifesaver!”
Rebecca burst out laughing. “You do have a way about you, Lena.”
“When do you expect your little one to arrive?”
“I’m not sure. I think in about five months.”
“I guess you haven’t seen the midwife yet, since you haven’t been home long. Or are you planning to go to a doctor?”
“I hadn’t really thought that far, but I’d rather see the midwife. I did see a doctor at a clinic right before I left New York because I’ve been so sick. I thought I had the flu or something. She told me I was expecting. Ach, Lena, what am I going to do?”
“You’re going to have this boppli—a healthy boppli—and be just fine.”
“I feel like an outcast.”
“Has anyone treated you that way?”
“Not really. Not yet anyway. I’ve seen some folks whispering behind their hands, and a few conversations have abruptly ended when I walked into a room. But they don’t know about the boppli. People might not want to be around me once they know. They won’t want their children around me. Girls my age will probably be advised to stay away from me so they won’t end up like me. Honest, Lena, I really believed we were married. I even showed the marriage certificate to the bishop.”
“Does anyone else know other than the bishop?”
“My parents, the bishop and his wife, and you.”
“Your secret is safe with me, Becky.”
Rebecca sniffed and blinked back more pesky tears. “Mamm always says everything works out for gut. I’m not sure I see how in my case.”
“You have to have faith. I believe you will have a beautiful infant and you’ll get married to have your happily ever after, as the Englisch stories say.”
“I’m not counting on getting married. I can’t believe any of the buwe around here would be interested in me now. If I can make a gut life for my little one, that will be gut enough for me.”
“Nee, that is not gut enough. You need a husband, and your boppli needs a daed.”
“I know that’s how it’s supposed to be, but . . .”
“You may be surprised, Rebecca Zook. Someone you might never even have thought of could be just the man for you.”
“Don’t hold your breath, Lena.”
“Help me up from this bed, and I’ll drag out more stuff to sort through.”
Rebecca grabbed Lena’s hand and tugged until Lena stood. “Does the fatigue and sickness ever go away?”
“Usually. I always felt better in the middle of each pregnancy. I’m tired now because this giant pumpkin doesn’t let me roll over to sleep at night.” Lena patted her protruding abdomen.
“Are you sure you aren’t having twins?”
“Not that I know of. There’s supposed to be only one volleyball player rolling around in there. Quick, give me your hand!” Lena placed Rebecca’s hand on her round belly. “Did you feel that?”
Rebecca’s hand jerked at the movement beneath it. “He kicks you that hard? That must feel awfully strange.”
“Strange, but wunderbaar. You’ll be feeling it before too long.”
Rebecca pressed a hand to her practically flat stomach. A feeling of awe at the miracle growing inside of her overcame her so powerfully she feared she would begin weeping uncontrollably. She knew her eyes must have widened to rival the size of the round throw rug on the polished wood floor. Lena’s thin arms caught her in a tight embrace. “It truly is a miracle,” she whispered into Lena’s shoulder.
Chapter Eleven
Rebecca visited Lena daily to help out with chores or to entertain the little girls, giving Lena a chance to rest, even if for only a few minutes. She planned to continue helping Lena after her little one arrived. To Rebecca’s surprise, she discovered strong maternal instincts she’d never have guessed she possessed. Lena patiently answered her hundreds of questions about pregnancy and infant care. Rebecca even took Lena’s advice and visited the midwife’s office in the next small town, only a few miles away.
She’d been hesitant and even a little fearful to visit the midwife. She had expected a crowded, noisy office like the clinic in New York and a work-weary health-care provider trying to keep up with an overwhelming caseload of patients. She’d been pleasantly surprised from the moment she first stepped inside the front door of the converted two-story house.
The waiting room was clean, neat, and quiet. Magazines and brochures filled a standing rack in the corner. Comfortable, cushioned chairs, rather than hard plastic ones, were clumped in several groups around the room. A small play area in the corner boasted a tiny table with four chairs tucked under it for little ones who accompanied their mamms to appointments. A basket of puzzles and books sat next to the table.
The receptionist smiled and greeted Rebecca warmly before handing her a clipboard full of forms to be completed. Rebecca perched on the edge of a soft chair to circle or scribble an answer to each question. She had to leave a few blank since she didn’t understand what they were asking. An equally pleasant nurse called her to the exam area to check her weight and blood pressure. The gown she handed Rebecca turned out to be much more modest than the flimsy one she’d had to wear at the clinic.
Midwife Laurie Allen looked very young with her face free of makeup and her pale blond hair pulled into a high ponytail. Despite her youthful appearance, she turned out to be very knowledgeable and professional, yet warm and considerate. After a thorough history and examination, she guided Rebecca on a tour of the birthing center in the back part of the house. She handed Rebecca an assortment of pamphlets and brochures to read at her leisure.
Rebecca scheduled a follow-up appointment in four weeks and headed out to her waiting horse and buggy. She’d been thinking how different this experience had been compared to her previous appointment and how homey the birthing center looked when the clip-clop of a horse’s hooves pulled her out of her reverie. She had hoped to make this visit without being seen by anyone in the community. She quickly lowered her head, but not before the eyes in the approaching buggy connected with her own.
Fannie Glick. Of all people, it had to be Fannie Glick who witnessed her departure from the midwife’s office. The news Rebecca wasn’t quite ready to share would now spread like a fire in a dry hayfield on a windy day.
* * *
Atlee had found Isaac already eating when he took his noon break at the dairy. He slid onto a chair at the scarred oak table that must have been in someone’s shed for a hundred years before finally finding a home in the dairy and opened his lunch box. His mouth watered as he unwrapped one of his thick ham sandwiches.
“It’s not my boppli!” Isaac burst out, breaking the silence in the room.
Atlee’s bite of sandwich lodged in his throat. He coughed and swigged from his water bottle to get the mass moving again. He and Isaac had been busily chomping their lunches in companionable silence until Isaac’s outburst nearly caused him to choke to death. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“Rebecca Zook’s boppli. It isn’t mine.”
Atlee was glad he hadn’t taken another bite of his sandwich. Had Isaac had some crazy dream last night that he was confusing with reality? “Rebecca Zook does not have a boppli.”
“Not yet.”
“You aren’t making any sense, Isaac.” Atlee dropped his sandwich onto the napkin he’d spread out on the table to give Isaac his full attention.
“Fannie Glick told my mamm she saw Rebecca leaving the midwife’s office the other day.”
“Fannie is a gossip. You know that.”
“True, but she doesn’t lie.”
“I’m sure women go to see the midwife for other, uh, issues. She is a nurse -midwife.”
“Becky’s young and healthy. She wouldn’t see the midwife for any other reason. That’s what my mamm said, anyway.”
“We don’t know about a
nyone else’s health issues.”
“Well, you can ignore the obvious all you want, but for the record, I’m saying the boppli isn’t mine.” Isaac’s face turned the color of pickled beets. He brought his fist down on the table so hard Atlee’s sandwich danced half off the napkin.
“Calm down, Isaac. There isn’t any way anybody could accuse you of anything. Becky was gone for months, so if Becky is in the family way—and that’s a big ‘if ’—you couldn’t be blamed, unless you followed her to New York, which we all know you didn’t.”
Isaac blew out a big sigh and relaxed the shoulders he’d drawn up to his ears. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am. You’re worrying for nothing.”
“Jah.” Isaac balled up his trash and scooted his chair back with a screech that grated on Atlee’s nerves. “My break time is up. See you later.”
Atlee nodded. He picked up his sandwich, bit off a small chunk, and chewed absently. Suddenly it didn’t taste as gut. He dropped it back onto the table and washed the bite down with another gulp of water. Was Fannie Glick spreading unfounded tales, or could Becky have been visiting the midwife for the normal reason women visited the midwife? What had happened to Becky Zook during the months she was away from Maryland?
It was probably none of his business, but he did recently tell Becky he wanted to be her freind. He wondered if Malinda or Mamm had heard anything, but how would he tactfully broach that subject? He picked up his sandwich again, looked at it as though it was some foreign object that had dropped from the sky, and stuffed it back into his lunch box. Maybe he’d feel like eating later.
Atlee stayed busy all afternoon, but his mind continually wandered to his conversation with Isaac. Never once did he have the urge to retrieve the sandwich, or even the oatmeal raisin cookies, from his lunch box. Maybe he was coming down with the flu or something. He could always eat, and even if his stomach was full he could never turn down a cookie. He didn’t feel feverish or achy or queasy, though, so his lack of appetite remained a mystery to him.
Dusk had spread a gray blanket across the sky by the time Atlee left work. Nightfall put in an early appearance during the winter months. When the horse automatically turned onto the Stauffers’ driveway, Atlee whispered a prayer of thanks for such a smart, reliable animal. His safe arrival home had been entirely due to the Lord and his trusty horse, since he hadn’t a clue how he’d gotten here. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs from his mind. He couldn’t enter the house in such a distracted state. Mamm and Malinda would pick up on it immediately. They both had a knack for reading him like a book.
The Reconciliation Page 7
