By the time Atlee had helped his daed and bruders finish the outside chores, the scarlet streaks of sunset were fading from the sky. Atlee shivered. It sure would feel gut to get inside the warm kitchen, but he forced himself to walk beside his daed and watched as the younger buwe raced each other to the house. He hoped the smells of whatever Mamm had cooked would spark his appetite.
After the silent prayer, Mamm passed a platter of fried ham and bowls of mashed potatoes and peas to Daed, who sent the food around the table to everyone else. Atlee selected a medium-sized slice of ham and scooped small portions of vegetables onto his plate. Malinda gazed at him from across the table with raised eyebrows, which Atlee promptly ignored. He picked up his knife and fork to start cutting the ham into bite-sized chunks.
“Are you feeling okay, Atlee?” Although Malinda’s voice was soft, all seven pairs of eyes around the table turned to stare at him.
“Sure. Why?” He gave up on the ham and forced himself to take a bite of mashed potatoes.
“Your lunch box still had most of the food inside, even the cookies.”
He’d meant to empty the box before he set it on the kitchen counter. Now the thing bore witness to his plight. “I didn’t feel like eating at lunchtime.”
“You?” Malinda gasped in mock horror.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
Great! Now Mamm was concerned. Why didn’t Malinda just take out an ad in the Budget so Plain folks all over the place could read about him? “I’m fine, Mamm. You know how it is when you get busy and then can’t eat in a rush.”
If he stretched it, the comment really wasn’t a lie. He’d been busy thinking, and then it had been time to go back to work. Thankfully, Aden interrupted the conversation to talk about happenings in school and got him out of the spotlight.
Atlee made it through the rest of the meal and evening prayers without further questions about his health or appetite. He even managed to enjoy a game with Aden until Mamm sent his little bruder upstairs to bed. Before he retired himself, he crept to the kitchen for a little snack. His stomach had been reminding him it had missed a meal earlier in the day. A cookie or two or three should tide him over until breakfast. He slipped into the kitchen and silently lifted the lid from the cookie jar.
“Aha! I caught you!” Malinda’s hand clamped down on Atlee’s wrist, leaving his fingers to dangle inside the jar.
“Guilty.”
“I guess if you’re sneaking cookies, you really are okay, ain’t so?”
“I told you I was fine. Now can I get a few cookies?”
“I suppose I’ll let you.”
Malinda pulled her hand away so Atlee’s fingers could reach farther inside the jar to grasp the cookies near the bottom. “It feels almost empty.” He tilted the jar over to peer inside. “Jah.”
“Have no fear. I’ll bake more cookies tomorrow.”
“Whew! That’s a relief.” Atlee raised a cookie to his mouth and bit off a good-sized chunk that held two fat, juicy raisins. “Mmmm! These are scrumptious.”
“I’m making chocolate chip tomorrow.”
“Yum.”
Malinda replaced the lid on the cookie jar. “You weren’t planning to eat all the rest of these tonight, were you?”
“Nee, these three will be fine.” Malinda turned to leave the kitchen, but Atlee couldn’t let her escape without asking the question that for some unexplainable reason festered in his brain. “Hey, Malinda.” He munched to give himself time to figure out what to say.
“Jah?”
“Have you talked to Becky since she’s been back?” There. He’d begun. He bit into another cookie for fortification.
“Only for a few minutes at Lena’s frolic. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. She seemed, I don’t know, lonely or subdued at church.”
“Well, you would know about that, not me.”
“What does that mean?”
“You were walking with her.”
“We weren’t exactly walking together—if you know what I mean. I happened to see her walking alone. She looked like she needed a freind.”
“She may need a lot more than a freind.” Malinda again prepared to leave the room.
“What do you mean by that?”
Malinda scooted closer and lowered her voice. “Fannie Glick has been telling people she saw Becky leaving the midwife’s office.”
“Do you think that’s true?” Atlee didn’t want to reveal he’d heard the same thing.
“I don’t imagine Fannie made it up, even though she does like to pass on every tiny piece of news she can find.”
“Do you think Becky is, uh . . . ?”
“I don’t know, Atlee. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” Malinda grabbed her bruder’s arm so hard he yelped. “You aren’t thinking of taking up with Becky, are you?”
“Me?”
“You seem rather concerned about her. You do remember what she’s like, jah?”
“Was like. Don’t you believe people can change?”
“I guess so.”
“I’ve changed. I don’t pull pranks anymore.”
“I think that’s called growing up.”
“From just talking to Becky for a few minutes, I think she’s grown up, too.”
“I hope so. Just be careful, Atlee. You managed to keep from falling into her trap before. Don’t let your sympathy and your kind heart lead you down that road.”
“I think I can tell genuine from fake. I really think Becky is sorry for the past.”
“She did apologize to me at Lena’s frolic.”
“Did you forgive her?”
“Of course I did.”
“Then maybe you and everyone else should give her a chance.”
“I’ll try, Atlee. She probably could use a freind, like you said. She must feel like everyone is watching her and judging her, even though we aren’t supposed to judge. Life must be pretty difficult for her right now.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
Malinda gave her bruder a quick hug. “You’re a gut person, Atlee. I’m glad you’re my bruder. Just be careful.”
Chapter Twelve
Rebecca held the horse to a more leisurely pace even though it was cold and he probably would have preferred to trot briskly to generate more heat. She was in no hurry to reach the dairy. She had offered to finish the baking so her mamm could make the trip. She would have rather crawled around on her knees scrubbing floors with her fingernails. But Mamm had her hands in bread dough up to her elbows and a dusting of flour across her forehead where she had swiped at a stray wisp of hair. She didn’t want to abandon her chore. Rebecca had even offered to cook something else for dinner, something that didn’t require cheese, but Mamm had already started preparing the cheesy potato casserole before she realized she was low on a main ingredient.
Rebecca let out an exaggerated sigh. She’d rather take a beating than walk into the dairy where Isaac Hostetler worked. She hadn’t spoken to him since she had returned to Maryland, and she wasn’t too keen on having a conversation with him today, either. She had too many other thoughts claiming her attention.
Laurie Allen had confirmed the New York doctor’s diagnosis. Rebecca would most likely give birth in late July or early August. She had already accepted the pregnancy. The nausea had given her no choice. She even loved the tiny being growing inside her this very second. It was just the circumstances that troubled her. She would much rather be sharing this experience with a husband. She’d probably never have that chance now, though. How many young men would want a package deal? She wasn’t sure she could ever trust another man anyway.
The dairy came into view quicker than she had thought possible. Rebecca sighed again, long and loud. She might as well get this over with, too, and put it behind her. She could always hope Isaac wasn’t working today.
Rebecca retied her black bonnet a little tighter so she wouldn’t have to chase it down if the wind whipped it off her head. S
he closed her eyes to offer a quick prayer. She sure seemed to be praying a lot more these days. Maybe that was one gut thing about her horrible experiences in New York. They brought her back to her faith and drew her closer to the Lord Gott. They also made her grow up and accept responsibility. Right now she had to be a grown-up and stroll into the dairy as if everything was normal—whatever “normal” was.
She hopped from the buggy and quickly tethered the horse. She could have driven a few more miles to the grocery store to buy cheese, but Mamm would wonder why. She had a strange feeling that Mamm had sent her on this mission more to confront her past than to pick up cheese. Going to the grocery store would only postpone the inevitable. She had to face Isaac sometime. That time might as well be now. “Be right back.” She patted the sleek brown horse’s head.
Rebecca hurried to the entrance and took one more deep breath before opening the door. At least there were other customers, Amish and Englisch, so she shouldn’t be too conspicuous. She’d simply march over to the counter, select Mamm’s cheese, pay the cashier, and slip right back out to the buggy. It sounded like a gut plan.
My plans never work out as I expect. Rebecca’s eyes connected with Isaac’s as soon as she closed the door behind her. Now that he had spied her, she would have to talk to him, unless he scurried off to avoid her. She wouldn’t blame him if he did just that.
Rebecca skirted the Englisch woman with her three children and threaded her way through the other customers to reach Isaac just as he turned to leave the area. “Isaac?”
“Hello, Becky.”
“H-how are you doing?”
“I’m fine. You?”
She had to force her way beyond this exchange of pleasantries. “I-I’m sorry, Isaac. I was a confused, foolish girl. And selfish, too. I should never have interfered with your plans, your life. I’m sorry I came between you and Malinda.”
Isaac blew out a breath like he’d been holding it forever. “I was mad at you at first, Becky. I’ll admit that. I thought you cared about me, but then I realized you only wanted a partner to run off with you.”
Rebecca hung her head and watched the toe of her black athletic shoe trace a circular pattern on the cement floor. “I thought maybe you were as adventurous as I was, as eager to see someplace besides St. Mary’s County. It was wrong of me to use you. You did the right thing. You stayed and joined the church. I wish I had done that, too.”
“You still can.”
“I plan to. As soon as possible. I guess you and Malinda . . .”
“Malinda has moved on, and she seems happy. We weren’t really that serious about each other.” Isaac’s eyes roamed the store.
“You’ll find someone, the right someone, Isaac. I hope you can forgive me.”
Isaac looked back down into Rebecca’s eyes. “Jah, I forgive you. I hope everything works out for you, Becky.”
“Danki, Isaac. You, too.” Rebecca wandered to the cheese counter. What did Isaac mean about everything working out? Did he mean reuniting with her family and the church, or was he hinting at something else? Most likely Fannie Glick had set the grapevine quivering with news of Rebecca’s visit to the midwife. She knew in her heart Fannie was not mean-spirited. The girl just couldn’t keep a single thing to herself. Telling Fannie something was like announcing it to the world. Rebecca would pay for her cheese and rush back to the safety of her home.
* * *
Atlee straightened up after stacking more empty crates outside and turned around in time to see a young woman hurrying toward her buggy. Becky. Even though all the Amish girls wore a black cloak and bonnet this time of year, he knew that girl was Rebecca Zook. Before his brain could instruct his feet otherwise, he jogged over to the girl untying the big brown horse. “Becky?”
She jumped and gave a startled cry. Her fingers slid from the hitching post.
“I’m sorry I startled you.” Atlee finished untying the horse for her.
“I guess my mind was somewhere else.”
“How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, Atlee. Danki for asking. Mamm sent me for cheese.” Rebecca held out her package as though she needed to show proof her visit to the dairy was legitimate. “I tried to talk her into fixing something else, but she wouldn’t hear of it.”
Atlee chuckled. “My mamm is the same way. If she’s determined to do something or cook something, there’s no changing her mind. One time she wanted to bake a blueberry cobbler but thought she needed more blueberries. Instead of making muffins or something else, she sent me and Sam out to comb the countryside for more berries. It took us longer to find enough berries than it took her to make the cobbler.”
Rebecca laughed. “I bet you enjoyed eating it, though.”
“I sure did. I think it tasted extra gut since we had to work so hard to find enough berries. In fact, blueberry has been my favorite cobbler and pie ever since.”
“I’d better get this cheese home before Mamm thinks I ran off again.” Rebecca hung her head.
“I think your mamm knows you wouldn’t do that, ain’t so?”
“I hope she does. I just feel like I have to earn everyone’s trust. I let my folks down and worried people with my disappearance. Now I have to prove I’ve changed.”
“You don’t have to prove anything, Becky. Just be yourself. You are fine just the way you are.”
“Danki, Atlee. I’m glad to have you for a freind.” Rebecca turned to climb into the buggy.
Atlee took her arm and helped her up like she hadn’t been getting into and out of buggies all her life. “Uh, would you want to take a walk after church if it’s not too cold?” He didn’t understand why he asked that or why he was reluctant to let her leave, but something had changed—either with him or with her or with both of them.
“I-I—uh, sure, Atlee. That would be fine.”
Again he didn’t know why, but those few words made his day.
Chapter Thirteen
Strands of Lena’s dark brown hair escaped her bun and flew around her face as she clapped her hands in exasperation. Her face looked more drawn and even thinner than before.
“Did I come at a bad time?”
“Ach, Becky! I didn’t hear you over the din in here. These girls are wild today.”
“Could you use some help?”
“I sure could, and the sight of a freind’s face is most wilkom.” Lena pushed at her wayward hair and gasped for breath as if she’d overexerted herself merely by speaking. Her two little girls ran shrieking into the room, the older one chasing the younger one until they crashed into their mamm.
“Whoa!” Rebecca cried. She grasped Lena, who had wobbled off balance, and held her upright. “Girls!” She lowered her voice to barely above whisper level so the girls had to stop shrieking to hear her. “If you can pick up all those toys”—Rebecca pointed to the assortment of blocks and small toys scattered around the room—“I’ll read you a story, and maybe we’ll have a little snack. I brought muffins.”
The four-year-old flew to gather up toys. Her little schweschder toddled along behind her.
“Danki. I’ve been too lenient with them since Joseph passed. I know that. Now I’m struggling to get them back in hand.”
“That’s understandable.” Rebecca gave Lena a quick hug and could practically feel her ribs. She prayed all was well with the new boppli, since his or her mamm looked so frail. “I’m sure it was very hard to lose your husband, especially with you expecting again. I wish I had been here to help you then. But I’m here now.” Would the old Rebecca have helped a young widow, or would she have merrily gone about her rumspringa? She wanted to believe she would have helped. “You didn’t sleep well last night, did you?”
Lena laughed. “I must look pretty bad.”
“You look tired. Why don’t you take a little nap? I’ll see to the girls.”
“It’s ten o’clock in the morning!”
“That’s okay.”
“I still haven’t finished cleaning the kitche
n after breakfast, and that was hours ago.” Tears filled Lena’s eyes, and she sniffed hard.
“Who cares? I can handle that. You go lie down and rest.” When Lena didn’t budge, Rebecca gave her a gentle push. “Go on now. We’ll be fine.” At that, Lena relented and shuffled toward the stairs. Rebecca hoped she didn’t regret the words of assurance she’d just uttered.
Maybe she should have only offered to do housework instead of tackling the care of two active little ones. She knew next to nothing about taking care of kinner, since she had no younger siblings. But if she hadn’t exuded an air of confidence, she would never have gotten Lena to leave the room and get some much-needed rest.
“Okay, girls.” Rebecca turned and smiled at Mary and Eliza. “You did a fine job. I’ll read you one story while you eat your muffins. Then I need your help. Do you think you’re big enough to help me?”
Two little heads bobbed before the girls followed Rebecca to the kitchen like ducklings behind a mother duck.
Rebecca had to draw on every resource she could conjure up, but she managed to keep the girls entertained and get the kitchen cleaned, the floors swept, and the noon meal put together. Never before had she taken on such responsibility. Without letting pride overtake her, she felt reasonably satisfied with the results of her efforts.
When Lena, looking somewhat rested and definitely neater, rushed breathless into the kitchen, she stopped in her tracks. “Becky, however did you manage this?”
Rebecca smiled and shrugged. Eliza sat in her high chair happily playing with the pieces of crackers on the tray. Occasionally she popped a bite into her mouth. Mary carefully placed paper napkins at four places on the dark walnut table. Both girls’ dresses were clean and neat. Their hair had been smoothed and braided. No sticky mustaches sat atop their mouths. And they were actually happy and quiet. “I’m not sure how we managed, to tell you the truth, Lena. This was a whole new experience for me.”
The Reconciliation Page 8
